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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6645845 times)

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Spring Water on Sundays

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20550 on: April 22, 2013, 08:51:17 AM »
I almost wish I had let him hit me--it was a new looking car and mine's pretty old, it would have been kind of interesting to see how much that spot was "worth" to him after our insurances talked to each other. I had somewhere to be after lunch though, and based on how aggressive was behind the wheel, I don't think I wouldn't have wanted to stick around with him while waiting for the cops. I still can't believe he bullied me into backing up for him though.

DP and I have an ongoing debate of sorts going on this point - I say, it's better to avoid the accident than be right. She's more of a 'it's my right of way, no you can't share it, you'll get the ticket not me' on these things.

For example, leaving an event this weekend, there was a long lineup to turn left onto the highway. I always leave more space than is minimally necessary (usually a full car length) between me and the person ahead - I've been backed into, and think it's courteous to leave space for that 'oops, is that the lane?' occasion as well if I can, especially when we're leaving an event where folks may not be familiar with the road. A semi was in the next lane over, and turned on their signal to get into the turn lane to the highway as well, so I was staying well back (almost 3 car lengths) to allow the semi to get over. There was considerably less than 1 car length between the end of the semi and my bumper (in a cross lane direction), and I had paused (I was at the light before the turn, and it had been green for a while, so I didn't want to get stuck in the travel path on top of everything else going on). DP starts fussing at me about moving up already (most of the space between my car and the one in front was the travel lane for people turning onto the freeway from the opposite direction, so I'd have been in their way - and there's still that semi with the turn signal) so I said no... and just as I did, some moron goes flying around the traffic waiting behind me, squeals through the gap between me and the semi (nearly hitting us both) and stops short, with the back of his truck blocking the lane. If I'd have listened to DP, I'd have been hit broadside, just where she was sitting, as I'd have JUST pushed forward when he slipped through.

I know the other driver was an SS. I wish DP wasn't so SS too!

I would MUCH rather not have my car get hit at all! Even without bodily injury or bills out of pocket, it's such an annoying hassle to deal with insurance (if the other driver is insured at all), get body shop estimates, be without my car while it's getting fixed, etc. The last time someone rear-ended me, they had AWFUL insurance from some cheap company. My insurance agent hadn't even heard of this company and they were a nightmare to deal with. They wanted me to take my car to some shady shop in a terrible neighborhood 15 miles from my home instead of the clean, reliable, honest shop 2 miles from my home because the shady shop was $70 cheaper - I had to fight them on that one and I won, but still, not my idea of a good use of my time. Ugh!

MissRose

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20551 on: April 22, 2013, 08:57:05 AM »
In my part of Michigan, we are dealing with a lot of flooding special thanks to the melting snow but more to the hard downpours of rain.  Some roads and intersections have signs up "Road Closed".    In some areas if people try to get through, the police have been ticketing people who drive through the areas and I am sure those people don't live in the area.   Plus some people think they can drive through a foot of water or so then get stuck, which makes it hard for rescues and towing especially in areas with widespread flooding that is slowly receding.

artk2002

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20552 on: April 22, 2013, 09:07:38 AM »

After church, I mentioned to DH that it would have been better if one of our ushers approached the family and asked them to take the baby to the quiet room.  DH said that would be unkind and could turn that whole family away from attending the church.  I said OK, but what about Emily and her family, who we've all known for years?  Shouldn't we be concerned about their feelings, too?  I called the baby's family special snowflakes.  DH said they weren't, and maybe the mother was just nervous about leaving the baby in the baby nursery.  I said that would be fine, she could still go to the quiet room out of consideration to the rest of the congregation - even if there wasn't important ceremony going on.  It's polite to take a baby out of a quiet setting when he or she is crying.  He says that's not very welcoming.

So what say you?
They should have moved the child to the quiet room. When they didn't either the ushers or the minister should have told them to take the child out. I hope at the very least the minister or someone from the church makes it clear in the future crying babies should be removed.

I agree with this.  If they are asked politely and kindly to have someone take the child outside until the child has calmed down, there is no reason why they should have their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome.

And if they did get their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome, then they may not be the right fit for this particular church community. Asking someone to take a disruptive child away from a solemn ceremony is not, in any way, shape or form, out of line. If a simple request to respect the rest of the community puts their knickers in a twist, what else will they do?
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

artk2002

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20553 on: April 22, 2013, 09:10:22 AM »
DP and I have an ongoing debate of sorts going on this point - I say, it's better to avoid the accident than be right. She's more of a 'it's my right of way, no you can't share it, you'll get the ticket not me' on these things.


One of my favorite "funny" epitaphs:
Quote
This is the grave of Mike ODay
Who died maintaining his right of way.
His right was clear, his will was strong,
But hes just as dead as if hed been wrong.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Ceallach

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20554 on: April 22, 2013, 09:14:01 AM »
DP and I have an ongoing debate of sorts going on this point - I say, it's better to avoid the accident than be right. She's more of a 'it's my right of way, no you can't share it, you'll get the ticket not me' on these things.


One of my favorite "funny" epitaphs:
Quote
This is the grave of Mike ODay
Who died maintaining his right of way.
His right was clear, his will was strong,
But hes just as dead as if hed been wrong.

I love that :-)

One of my favorite lines that I use in the context of relationships and also at work is "would you rather be right or happy?"  'cos picking your battles is wise.
"Nobody can do everything, but everybody can do something"


MissRose

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20555 on: April 22, 2013, 09:37:36 AM »

After church, I mentioned to DH that it would have been better if one of our ushers approached the family and asked them to take the baby to the quiet room.  DH said that would be unkind and could turn that whole family away from attending the church.  I said OK, but what about Emily and her family, who we've all known for years?  Shouldn't we be concerned about their feelings, too?  I called the baby's family special snowflakes.  DH said they weren't, and maybe the mother was just nervous about leaving the baby in the baby nursery.  I said that would be fine, she could still go to the quiet room out of consideration to the rest of the congregation - even if there wasn't important ceremony going on.  It's polite to take a baby out of a quiet setting when he or she is crying.  He says that's not very welcoming.

So what say you?
They should have moved the child to the quiet room. When they didn't either the ushers or the minister should have told them to take the child out. I hope at the very least the minister or someone from the church makes it clear in the future crying babies should be removed.

I agree with this.  If they are asked politely and kindly to have someone take the child outside until the child has calmed down, there is no reason why they should have their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome.

And if they did get their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome, then they may not be the right fit for this particular church community. Asking someone to take a disruptive child away from a solemn ceremony is not, in any way, shape or form, out of line. If a simple request to respect the rest of the community puts their knickers in a twist, what else will they do?

I do not mind children at Mass (as I am Catholic).  But at the same time if they cannot be calmed down, their caregiver (parent, grandparent etc) needs to take them out and attend to their needs to save the ears of the celebrant(s) & congregation.  If they need to constantly take a child out, then they should sit in the back or a designated area that has some soundproofing.

My mother sat in the back when me and my sister were little as my sister was more challenging compared to me to get her to stay in one spot quietly then later on was able to move closer to front of the church. I feel she was being polite in what she did until my sister would not dart off into the next county and make a commotion at the same time.


Cami

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20556 on: April 22, 2013, 09:43:08 AM »

After church, I mentioned to DH that it would have been better if one of our ushers approached the family and asked them to take the baby to the quiet room.  DH said that would be unkind and could turn that whole family away from attending the church.  I said OK, but what about Emily and her family, who we've all known for years?  Shouldn't we be concerned about their feelings, too?  I called the baby's family special snowflakes.  DH said they weren't, and maybe the mother was just nervous about leaving the baby in the baby nursery.  I said that would be fine, she could still go to the quiet room out of consideration to the rest of the congregation - even if there wasn't important ceremony going on.  It's polite to take a baby out of a quiet setting when he or she is crying.  He says that's not very welcoming.

So what say you?
They should have moved the child to the quiet room. When they didn't either the ushers or the minister should have told them to take the child out. I hope at the very least the minister or someone from the church makes it clear in the future crying babies should be removed.

I agree with this.  If they are asked politely and kindly to have someone take the child outside until the child has calmed down, there is no reason why they should have their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome.

And if they did get their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome, then they may not be the right fit for this particular church community. Asking someone to take a disruptive child away from a solemn ceremony is not, in any way, shape or form, out of line. If a simple request to respect the rest of the community puts their knickers in a twist, what else will they do?

I do not mind children at Mass (as I am Catholic).  But at the same time if they cannot be calmed down, their caregiver (parent, grandparent etc) needs to take them out and attend to their needs to save the ears of the celebrant(s) & congregation.  If they need to constantly take a child out, then they should sit in the back or a designated area that has some soundproofing.

My mother sat in the back when me and my sister were little as my sister was more challenging compared to me to get her to stay in one spot quietly then later on was able to move closer to front of the church. I feel she was being polite in what she did until my sister would not dart off into the next county and make a commotion at the same time.
My husband is a dedicated church goer, but he is rapidly getting to the point of opting out of regular church attendance due to the infestation oif Special Snowflakes and their enablers, People Who Think Being Nice Means Enabling Bad Behavior. The SS are the multitude of parents who allow their kids to shriek, jump and down, leave/re-enter the pew up to 10 times per service, play on ipads and text (which also apparently necessitates laughing, chuckling and passing said device around the entire family), spend the entire service eating donuts and drinking caffeinated coffee (yeah, that works really well at keep kids behaved), crying and my personal favorite -- changing their diaper in the pew.  He no longer feels like he is worshipping God, he feels like he's being tested for patience.

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20557 on: April 22, 2013, 09:44:42 AM »

DP starts fussing at me about moving up already

I've had to really blast my DH before he would stop telling me how to drive. No, I'm not speeding up now just because YOU would; *I* don't feel comfortable going that fast on city streets, even if you do. And even if I am 10 miles below the speed limit.

Quote

 (most of the space between my car and the one in front was the travel lane for people turning onto the freeway from the opposite direction, so I'd have been in their way - and there's still that semi with the turn signal) so I said no... and just as I did, some moron goes flying around the traffic waiting behind me, squeals through the gap between me and the semi (nearly hitting us both) and stops short, with the back of his truck blocking the lane. If I'd have listened to DP, I'd have been hit broadside, just where she was sitting, as I'd have JUST pushed forward when he slipped through.

I know the other driver was an SS. I wish DP wasn't so SS too!

Of course, if the hole had never been there, he wouldn't have tried to go through. So if your natural bent was to keep that spacing tight, you'd have closed the hole the moment it opened, sooner than he tried to take the turn.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2013, 09:46:23 AM by TootsNYC »

Bottlecaps

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20558 on: April 22, 2013, 09:50:42 AM »
My mother sat in the back when me and my sister were little as my sister was more challenging compared to me to get her to stay in one spot quietly then later on was able to move closer to front of the church. I feel she was being polite in what she did until my sister would not dart off into the next county and make a commotion at the same time.

That's exactly what my mother and grandmother did with me, my older sister, and my younger sister when we were kids. We always sat in the back pew of the church so we could step out if need be without disturbing the service. We were actually pretty well-behaved kids (well, me and ODS - YDS was kind of another story, LOL), but of course when we were babies, well, babies cry and fuss when they need something and there's nothing one can do about that. And even older kids can sometimes be unpredictable!
"Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes." -Tori Amos


Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20559 on: April 22, 2013, 09:52:34 AM »
If it had been the baby being baptized, obviously she would have had to stay.  But I agree with you that one of the adults should have taken her out, especially with CCTV set up.  I think it would have been fine for an usher to approach them and ask that they take the baby out for at least the duration of the ceremony.

Pod.  Our church doesn't have a cctv but they do have the priest's microphone wired such that you can hear her over a PA system in the hallway and in the nursery.   The little ones stay in the nursery until after the exchange of the peace and then are brought in but if your child needs to be removed you can still hear what's going on in the nursery. 

When there's a baptism they bring the kids participating in Children's Chapel and the nursery back in so all of the congregation is present for it, but if your child's not the one baptized and is kicking up a fuss, they would rather you take your infant/toddler out than disturb the service.  Our church is pretty tolerant to kid noises during Rite II as it's a more family-oriented service as opposed to Rite I which is earlier and more adult focused.  If your toddler is quietly babbling or giggling, or asking questions about the service, few people mind.

When it's someone new that comes in with a small child the typical MO is "Oh just to let you know, we have a nursery here for little ones and you'd still be able to hear the service!"

My youngest behaves better when his older brothers are not in the pew.  Yesterday they were acolytes and singing in the choir so Piratebabe was relatively quiet.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

artk2002

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20560 on: April 22, 2013, 09:53:25 AM »
Of course, if the hole had never been there, he wouldn't have tried to go through. So if your natural bent was to keep that spacing tight, you'd have closed the hole the moment it opened, sooner than he tried to take the turn.

My sons have their learner's permits and have been driving a lot recently. This is one of the toughest things for me to work with them, especially on the freeway. Here, if you keep a proper distance (one car length per 10mph), you'll spend your time being cut off right and left, even if you're going at the speed of traffic. Judging a practical following distance is a matter of gut feeling and that's hard to teach. Fortunately, they won't have to go on the freeway for their test.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Hmmmmm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20561 on: April 22, 2013, 09:59:31 AM »

After church, I mentioned to DH that it would have been better if one of our ushers approached the family and asked them to take the baby to the quiet room.  DH said that would be unkind and could turn that whole family away from attending the church.  I said OK, but what about Emily and her family, who we've all known for years?  Shouldn't we be concerned about their feelings, too?  I called the baby's family special snowflakes.  DH said they weren't, and maybe the mother was just nervous about leaving the baby in the baby nursery.  I said that would be fine, she could still go to the quiet room out of consideration to the rest of the congregation - even if there wasn't important ceremony going on.  It's polite to take a baby out of a quiet setting when he or she is crying.  He says that's not very welcoming.

So what say you?
They should have moved the child to the quiet room. When they didn't either the ushers or the minister should have told them to take the child out. I hope at the very least the minister or someone from the church makes it clear in the future crying babies should be removed.

I agree with this.  If they are asked politely and kindly to have someone take the child outside until the child has calmed down, there is no reason why they should have their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome.

And if they did get their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome, then they may not be the right fit for this particular church community. Asking someone to take a disruptive child away from a solemn ceremony is not, in any way, shape or form, out of line. If a simple request to respect the rest of the community puts their knickers in a twist, what else will they do?
Agreed.  Having an usher approach the family and saying "Let me show you were our quiet room is and you can watch the service from there." should not make anyone feel unwelcome. Instead they are trying to assist the family.

And I don't think it matters if the girl being baptized was a beloved member of the church that many fellow worshipers cherish. I'm not sure why that was important to the conversation. Even if it had been our finance chair giving his twice annual dry boring report, it was rude of the family to not remove the crying child.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20562 on: April 22, 2013, 09:59:35 AM »
My aunt and uncle were asked to leave their church, which was particularly difficult because it was the only one of their demonization nearby and they lived on an island.  I've only heard my aunt's side of the affair, but I suspect the real reason was that she refused to take my cousins out of the sanctuary when they got fussy.

artk2002

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20563 on: April 22, 2013, 10:03:03 AM »
My aunt and uncle were asked to leave their church, which was particularly difficult because it was the only one of their demonization nearby and they lived on an island.  I've only heard my aunt's side of the affair, but I suspect the real reason was that she refused to take my cousins out of the sanctuary when they got fussy.

I don't usually point out typos, but that one's pretty good!  >:D
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20564 on: April 22, 2013, 10:06:36 AM »
Stupid iPad autocorrect - but I think I'll leave that as it is  :P