Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 4394229 times)

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Kimblee

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21030 on: May 15, 2013, 05:24:52 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.

Okay, I'm not even that gender at this point in my life, and I nearly fainted from reading that.  YIKES.

OK, I'm holding the girls right now... I swear they just lurched in my bra.

Yep... They tried to reverse-grow back into my chest.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21031 on: May 15, 2013, 05:25:45 PM »

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off!

Reminds me of Jeff Foxworthy's "You have my full attention" story.
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Yarnspinner

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21032 on: May 15, 2013, 05:27:12 PM »
It's turning into a blizzard here.

Today's entitled and undoable request goes to Parka Lady (who wears a parka and scarf year round) who wanted to use a computer that was NOT surrounded by other people.  We stood and looked at our fifty or so computers which were all occupied but one.  She didn't want the one that was available because there were other people sitting one either side of it.  I was shocked that she didn't expect me to make them move as well.

There was the man who didn't like our bathrooms and so walked through the doors that read "staff only" and went looking for a better bathroom.  (I should have taken him up to Stonecold's bathroom, as she has stated that we can take patrons to her private potty, but I was on my way to lunch, which takes precedence over being snide.)  The maintenance head (who is about nine feet tall) walked out of his office and pointed out to the gentleman that I had already told him five times where the public bathrooms were and to get out of the staff area.)

There was a nice lady who expected I would stand next to her for the forty five minutes it took her to make copies at the copy machine.

Just another day in paradise.....

Yarnspinner

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21033 on: May 15, 2013, 05:28:28 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.

Okay, I'm not even that gender at this point in my life, and I nearly fainted from reading that.  YIKES.

OK, I'm holding the girls right now... I swear they just lurched in my bra. 

Mine tried to turn themselves inside out.....

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21034 on: May 15, 2013, 05:33:36 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.


Okay, I'm not even that gender at this point in my life, and I nearly fainted from reading that.  YIKES.

OK, I'm holding the girls right now... I swear they just lurched in my bra.

Yep... They tried to reverse-grow back into my chest.

I think mine are currently cowering behind shoulderblades and trembling

Yarnspinner

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21035 on: May 15, 2013, 05:44:27 PM »
......and another one.  If you have a library card with us you get two hours on the computer.  If you are actually doing something like researching a paper, writing a paper or filling out a job application on line and are having difficulty, we will tack on an extra half hour or more. 

People will, of course, abuse the system.  They will be playing games on Facebook, then realize their time is almost up and come back to tell us they are filling job applications and need more time.  We will give them a half hour and then check on them....and if they are playing farmville, they lose their priviliges for the day. 

If you want another two hours, or if you don't have a library card, you have to pay two dollars for a guest pass which will give you an additional two hours.

I just got screamed at by a woman who a ) admits she was already in this morning and b) used up all her time but contends that c) she should get two hours free because she was d) in the f***ing emergency room and don't have time for this s**t." 

She paid two dollars but couldn't understand the difference between "guest" and "patron" and started screaming at me because  her pass wouldn't work.  I walked over and showed her where it said "guest" and typed the whole number in.  Next thing I know she's torn her guest pass up because I embarrassed her or something.  It's not stopping her from staying on the computer, of course (and I am looking up her guest # now because I KNOW she will try to play some other angle in another two hours.)

Fun times.....

Amara

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21036 on: May 15, 2013, 06:42:21 PM »
*begging voice*

Please, please, please, can we not do any more ... uh YIKES stories, at least not unless the poster whites out the information. I cannot express how icked out I am right now and getting more so by the minute.

Thank you!

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21037 on: May 15, 2013, 06:47:27 PM »
Made a YIKES thread for these... I'm oddly curious.  :D
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Amava

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21038 on: May 15, 2013, 06:49:43 PM »
People will, of course, abuse the system.  They will be playing games on Facebook, then realize their time is almost up and come back to tell us they are filling job applications and need more time.  We will give them a half hour and then check on them....and if they are playing farmville, they lose their priviliges for the day. 
But but but... their crops will wither and it's YOUR fault!  >:D

stitchygreyanonymouse

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21039 on: May 15, 2013, 06:57:36 PM »
Sorry, I whited it out in the original post. I didn’t think about the squick factor, since I heard the story so long ago.

MommyPenguin, yes, she did somehow. However I don’t know if she chose to not bf my other step-sister because of issues, or just the psychological part of it all.

VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21040 on: May 15, 2013, 07:02:31 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.


Okay, I'm not even that gender at this point in my life, and I nearly fainted from reading that.  YIKES.

OK, I'm holding the girls right now... I swear they just lurched in my bra.

Yep... They tried to reverse-grow back into my chest.

I think mine are currently cowering behind shoulderblades and trembling


Mine are demanding a brass bra.  Which, come to think of it, is a lot of brass!  It's going to be heavy and expensive.....but with the Renn Faire in ten days, I will be STYLING, girlfriend!

Broke from paying for it, but styling!
« Last Edit: May 15, 2013, 10:13:09 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21041 on: May 15, 2013, 07:12:58 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.


Okay, I'm not even that gender at this point in my life, and I nearly fainted from reading that.  YIKES.

OK, I'm holding the girls right now... I swear they just lurched in my bra.

Yep... They tried to reverse-grow back into my chest.

I think mine are currently cowering behind shoulderblades and trembling


Mine are demanding a brass bra.  Which, come to think of it, is a lot of brass!  It's going to be heavy and expensive.....but with the Renn Faire in ten days, I will be STYLING, girlfriend!

Reminds me of the poor guy in my eighth-grade English class who had to read aloud and misread "the iron brazier in the corner" as "the iron brassiere."  And then didn't understand why half the class was laughing.

Virg

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21042 on: May 16, 2013, 10:52:06 AM »
VorFemme wrote:

"Mine are demanding a brass bra."

Gives a whole new meaning to "brassiere".

Virg

Miss Misha

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21043 on: May 16, 2013, 07:30:58 PM »
Or that old expression about "It's colder than a brass bra in a snow storm". 
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Somehow that fits on sooooo many levels.

mbbored

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21044 on: May 16, 2013, 07:36:21 PM »
This past weekend I went to a baby shower. About an hour after the party started, a friend who freely admits that she doesn't pay attention to instructions stormed in and we had the following exchange:

SS: mbbored, I am so angry at you right now.
Me: Excuse me?
SS: You've been ignoring my phone calls.
Me: When was this? I haven't gotten any calls from you recently.
SS: In the last hour!
Me: Well, I'm sorry, but I had my ringer off to enjoy the party.
SS: But I needed you to give me directions!
Me: Don't you have a GPS in your car?
SS: Yes, but I prefer your directions. You should've helped me get here!
Other Friend: So she was supposed miss part of the party because you wanted to leave late and didn't want to use your built-in GPS or your smartphone?
SS: You don't understand me!
Me: I guess not. I'm going to go get some of that bean dip over there.
Other Friend: Sounds delicious. I'll join you!