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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6392391 times)

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ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22395 on: July 23, 2013, 02:46:32 PM »
That is one I would place under personal responsibility. It is my responsibility to not make a mess or be a burden to others.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22396 on: July 23, 2013, 03:24:46 PM »
I usually say something like "Excuse me, may I borrow your height for a moment?", or "You look very strong.  Betcha can't lift that bag of dog food into my cart."  I'm probably not being nearly as clever as I think I am, but if it makes them smile and they help me, I count it as a win.  Of course, effusive thanks are always offered.

So is that rude on my part?  Should I only ask for help in a formal way?  Or is asking for help with a joke ok?

The first is fine, IMO.  My oldest nephew is 6'4" and may still be growing.  I quite often call, 'Hey, Tall Boy!  Can you get this down for me?'  It is a bit of a joke - and I'm the shortest one in the immediate family, even though I'm 5'5".

The second one I definitely wouldn't use with an adult.  It seems a little patronising.  But said with a smile to a kid in the 10-15 age range, it might be OK.  I think it would be better to ask directly, though.  'You look strong!  Would you lift this bag of dog food into my cart for me, please?'  I'd leave off the 'You look strong!' with an adult.
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wolfie

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22397 on: July 23, 2013, 03:28:24 PM »
I frequently have to ask other customers to reach something for me.  I'm not exactly short, I'm 5'4" and I have long arms, but with my back problems, I can't stretch to reach things on higher shelves, or bend over to get things off lower shelves.

I can't imagine helping someone when they're as rude as some of the people mentioned. 

I usually say something like "Excuse me, may I borrow your height for a moment?", or "You look very strong.  Betcha can't lift that bag of dog food into my cart."  I'm probably not being nearly as clever as I think I am, but if it makes them smile and they help me, I count it as a win.  Of course, effusive thanks are always offered.

So is that rude on my part?  Should I only ask for help in a formal way?  Or is asking for help with a joke ok?

The second one bothers me. I would probably do it but roll my eyes at you while doing it. Also you run the risk of shaming someone with the same issue you have - they look fine but can't lift anything heavy or bend.

zyrs

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22398 on: July 23, 2013, 03:35:55 PM »
Today as we were going to the dentist, my wife and I saw a special snowflake!

At the bottom of the hill we live on is a road - it has 5 lanes.  Two for traffic going in each direction and a middle lane for left-hand turns (there are a number of businesses in this area).  Special snowflake had parked his car in the left-hand turn lane, gotten out of the car and crossed 2 lanes of traffic.  Just to buy a paper

LadyClaire

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22399 on: July 23, 2013, 03:57:27 PM »
A bit of special snowflake karma in action.

I was on a merge ramp today that has two lanes. I was in the left lane. In the right lane next to me was a pick-up truck. Behind the pick-up truck was a small black honda civic. The driver of the civic decided the truck was going too slow, so he suddenly darted out in front of me, narrowly missing the back end of the truck and the front end of my car. Then he cut across the merge lane before it was clear to merge and zipped across four lanes of traffic, nearly sideswiping another car in the process, and took off going way over the speed limit.

About a mile down, the expressway kind of curves a bit. Cops like to hang out on the shoulder around the curve, because you can't see them until you're right on top of them. I round the curve, and there's the honda civic pulled over with a cop writing a ticket. Ha. 

artk2002

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22400 on: July 23, 2013, 04:50:51 PM »
My teenaged son was driving yesterday -- he's a new driver, just with a permit. We passed through an intersection only to have to stop a little bit in to let a woman and her two children jaywalk back to their car. My son hates confrontation, so for his sake I avoided asking them why they didn't use the crosswalk that was a whopping 20 feet away. There's no reason to put yourself and your children at risk simply to save an extra 40 feet and a cycle of the light.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Shalamar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22401 on: July 23, 2013, 04:56:40 PM »
Trying to decide if my friend Sarah is an SS.

Background:  Sarah lives on a five-acre farm.  She bought a sheepdog, not because she has sheep, but to help watch her two young sons (ten and eight).   Spot is an excellent sheepdog and is very good at shepherding the boys away from potential danger, such as the creek that runs through their property.    Another mother, Jane, recently brought her sons over to play and left for a while.   When she returned, she asked where the kids were.   Sarah said "Not sure, but I hear Spot barking, so they're not far."   Jane, appalled, said "YOU'RE not watching them?"   "No - Spot is.  She's very good at it.   The kids will be fine."    They WERE fine, but Jane gave Sarah heck and left, vowing never to let her kids play there again.    Sarah was alternately amused and indignant, saying that Jane was being ridiculous.

Thing is:   I'm kind of on Jane's side.   I'm sure Spot is amazing, but I wouldn't have been too happy if MY kids were roaming around a five-acre farm without an adult close by.   What do you think?

Shoo

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22402 on: July 23, 2013, 05:02:51 PM »
Trying to decide if my friend Sarah is an SS.

Background:  Sarah lives on a five-acre farm.  She bought a sheepdog, not because she has sheep, but to help watch her two young sons (ten and eight).   Spot is an excellent sheepdog and is very good at shepherding the boys away from potential danger, such as the creek that runs through their property.    Another mother, Jane, recently brought her sons over to play and left for a while.   When she returned, she asked where the kids were.   Sarah said "Not sure, but I hear Spot barking, so they're not far."   Jane, appalled, said "YOU'RE not watching them?"   "No - Spot is.  She's very good at it.   The kids will be fine."    They WERE fine, but Jane gave Sarah heck and left, vowing never to let her kids play there again.    Sarah was alternately amused and indignant, saying that Jane was being ridiculous.

Thing is:   I'm kind of on Jane's side.   I'm sure Spot is amazing, but I wouldn't have been too happy if MY kids were roaming around a five-acre farm without an adult close by.   What do you think?

I think it sounds like a pretty awesome life for those boys.  Jane just isn't used to her kids having so much freedom to roam.  I guess I can understand her concern, but when in Rome....

Jones

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22403 on: July 23, 2013, 05:09:51 PM »
I grew up that way, minus the sheepdog. And we aren't talking about toddlers here, but boys 8+ years old, perfectly capable of walking to school alone or crossing the street to a friend's house; much more dangerous really, but socially acceptable.

artk2002

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22404 on: July 23, 2013, 05:14:21 PM »
Trying to decide if my friend Sarah is an SS.

Background:  Sarah lives on a five-acre farm.  She bought a sheepdog, not because she has sheep, but to help watch her two young sons (ten and eight).   Spot is an excellent sheepdog and is very good at shepherding the boys away from potential danger, such as the creek that runs through their property.    Another mother, Jane, recently brought her sons over to play and left for a while.   When she returned, she asked where the kids were.   Sarah said "Not sure, but I hear Spot barking, so they're not far."   Jane, appalled, said "YOU'RE not watching them?"   "No - Spot is.  She's very good at it.   The kids will be fine."    They WERE fine, but Jane gave Sarah heck and left, vowing never to let her kids play there again.    Sarah was alternately amused and indignant, saying that Jane was being ridiculous.

Thing is:   I'm kind of on Jane's side.   I'm sure Spot is amazing, but I wouldn't have been too happy if MY kids were roaming around a five-acre farm without an adult close by.   What do you think?

I think Sarah is doing just fine. Google "Free Range Kids." Being over-protective is just as bad for kids as being under-protective. Frankly, the sheep dog isn't even necessary. An 8yo and 10yo can keep themselves safe just fine without constant hovering.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Iris

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22405 on: July 23, 2013, 05:50:04 PM »
Trying to decide if my friend Sarah is an SS.

Background:  Sarah lives on a five-acre farm.  She bought a sheepdog, not because she has sheep, but to help watch her two young sons (ten and eight).   Spot is an excellent sheepdog and is very good at shepherding the boys away from potential danger, such as the creek that runs through their property.    Another mother, Jane, recently brought her sons over to play and left for a while.   When she returned, she asked where the kids were.   Sarah said "Not sure, but I hear Spot barking, so they're not far."   Jane, appalled, said "YOU'RE not watching them?"   "No - Spot is.  She's very good at it.   The kids will be fine."    They WERE fine, but Jane gave Sarah heck and left, vowing never to let her kids play there again.    Sarah was alternately amused and indignant, saying that Jane was being ridiculous.

Thing is:   I'm kind of on Jane's side.   I'm sure Spot is amazing, but I wouldn't have been too happy if MY kids were roaming around a five-acre farm without an adult close by.   What do you think?

8 and 10 year olds with no developmental delays on my own property? Wouldn't even OCCUR to me to watch them. I wouldn't even bother with the dog, although it's a great compromise and a cute story.
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Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22406 on: July 23, 2013, 06:12:33 PM »
SS aunt:

DH and I missed out, but this last week there was a family reunion of sorts at my grandparents' lake house.  My grandparents aren't in as great health as they used to be anymore (they're both in their 90s) so everyone tries to help out as much as possible, but grandma just can't let other people do the cooking/dishes/whatnot, so she putters around the (not all that huge) kitchen trying to help while other family members do the actual cooking.  In short: mealtimes are busy, crowded, and a bit crazy with eleven people all there at once:

Grandma and grandpa
My parents
My sister
My brother and SIL
My aunt, uncle, and their two boys (~8 and ~10)

SIL is allergic to peanuts.  My parents made sure grandma and grandpa knew this ahead of time, and even though they're not used to working around allergies (it just wasn't a thing for their generation), with my parents' help they were able to plan a menu which wouldn't involve peanuts or ingredients processed near peanuts.  This takes a bit of foresight and some specific brand-hunting, but it's doable.

Enter SS aunt: every time we see her she has a new "medical condition."  None of these conditions are ever diagnosed by a doctor, and they're usually reflective of whatever public health fear is going on at the time.  I'm not going to say that they're all imagined, but I will point out that the probability of the miracle-cure-of-the-month actually coinciding with her medical needs this often is probably pretty low.

Anyway, SS aunt waits until she gets to the lake house to announce that she no longer will consume gluten.  Except she "doesn't want to be a bother," so she doesn't want grandma to know.  She then does her own shopping trip (throwing off some other family plans in the process) and proceeds to stake out half the kitchen preparing her own not-at-all-related-to-the-menu meals every time the family is ready to eat.  Since it's not a large kitchen, this means that grandma and one or two other cooks are preparing food for 10 people in one half of the room and she's preparing food for just herself in the other half.

The kicker is, if she had only let someone know ahead of time, my parents and grandparents would have happily worked gluten-free options into the menu as well.  (There probably WERE plenty of gluten-free things, but she was doing all her own meals entirely from separate ingredients - it's not like she was willing to eat the meat but just substitute in another starch, for example.)  And in "not being a bother" and buying her own groceries, she made things much more difficult for my SIL, who no longer could assume that the kitchen was peanut-free.

My parents left over the weekend, but another of my cousins was coming up yesterday - and she's allergic to gluten too.  Except she's open about it, she called ahead of time to make sure it wouldn't be a problem, and Grandma is expecting to be making gluten free alternatives (for one) each meal.  Mom said she had a word with SS aunt before she left, suggesting perhaps she should actually TELL someone about her dietary needs, so Grandma would know to make *two* gluten-free portions each meal and would stop assuming SS aunt is hogging half the kitchen just to be SS.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22407 on: July 23, 2013, 06:24:55 PM »
I totally agree with Sarah about the farm and the sheepdog.  In fact, like another poster, I don't even see the sheepdog as being necessary.  10 and 8?  They should really be able to avoid dangers like the creek on their own by those ages!  If Jane's kids were close in age, I'd think she was totally overparenting.  That said, if Jane's kids are much younger, say, 2 or 3, I can see being a bit uncomfortable having them in the care of a 10-year-old and an 8-year-old that she doesn't really know, along with a sheepdog.  But if they were 4 or older, I'd think they would be fine.  But then, we're much more on the "free range kids" end of the scale.  :)
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22408 on: July 23, 2013, 06:30:52 PM »
If Jane's kids are a similar age to Sarah's kids, they were totally fine with Spot in charge.  And Jane over reacted, big time.  If Jane's kids were quite a bit younger, I'd cut her a bit of slack.

I would have loved to have Spot when my youngest nephew was a toddler, let me tell you.  He'd look to make sure you were watching and then run right towards something or somewhere he knew he shouldn't go!  Little brat...  Who has grown up to be a fine young man of almost 19.  In fact, he's heading off on Saturday for a week to volunteer as a councillor at a not-for-profit wilderness camp.
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mmswm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22409 on: July 23, 2013, 06:40:47 PM »
Trying to decide if my friend Sarah is an SS.

Background:  Sarah lives on a five-acre farm.  She bought a sheepdog, not because she has sheep, but to help watch her two young sons (ten and eight).   Spot is an excellent sheepdog and is very good at shepherding the boys away from potential danger, such as the creek that runs through their property.    Another mother, Jane, recently brought her sons over to play and left for a while.   When she returned, she asked where the kids were.   Sarah said "Not sure, but I hear Spot barking, so they're not far."   Jane, appalled, said "YOU'RE not watching them?"   "No - Spot is.  She's very good at it.   The kids will be fine."    They WERE fine, but Jane gave Sarah heck and left, vowing never to let her kids play there again.    Sarah was alternately amused and indignant, saying that Jane was being ridiculous.

Thing is:   I'm kind of on Jane's side.   I'm sure Spot is amazing, but I wouldn't have been too happy if MY kids were roaming around a five-acre farm without an adult close by.   What do you think?

If she's an SS, so am I.  I rely on my dog to alert me to any problems the boys might be having while they're outside. The property isn't as large as Sarah's, but it's still several acres and large enough for the kids to be out of sight. The kids are older and deserve to have a bit of freedom to play without parental hovering. 
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