Special Snowflake Stories

[Archer]

Maybe we could ship all the Special Snowflakes to the North Pole and save the polar bears!  Then they'd be special, indeed!   
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Though something tells me polar bears deal swiftly and harshly with line-cutters.

 

[BabyMama]

2) Isn't there a grocery store near here? Can't you get like ten packs of Ramen for a dollar? It's food.

lol, last time DH and I were at the store, ramen was 6/$1. DH was like, "Dang, that's expensive!!"

I saw lots of Special Snowflakes last night at our company's holiday party. I was "enlisted" to help clean up afterwards...it's nice when you're picking up coworkers' trash (including used napkins, half-eaten bits of food, and drink straws) and they are hanging around chatting to other people and not offering to help in the slightest...

[Sleepingmediocre]

Gambitgirl's story reminded me of another collegiate special snowflake (not as special as hers, of course). While I was in college I worked for the director of student housing. One of the residents had been caught keeping a cat in her dorm room, and was required to write a 300-word essay explaining why cats were not allowed in student housing. Her essay was 300 words of whining why this was so unfair, why her cat was so special, why she should be allowed to keep it because one cat never hurt anybody, etc. And it was exactly 300 words, because she numbered each word, and stopped mid-sentence at word #300.

"Peter Rabbit is a stupid book about a stupid rabbit who stole vegetables from other people's gardens.  One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen!  Ha!"

<--- *falls immediately in love with TychaBrahe*   

[kherbert05]

I've met lots of Special Snowflakes over my life, but here's just one quick anecdote:

I was in the hospital with meningitis.  I had a 2 bed-room to myself for a few days, and then an elderly Special Snowflake was admitted.  At the time she was admitted, she made a big scene with the couple admitting her that she was going to die in the hospital and never see them again, crying and screaming.  I could tell from their completely unfazed and harassed looking lack of reaction that they'd been through a lot of Deathbed Scenes with their Special Snowflake before.

As soon as this couple left, her tears turned off like magic, and she started harassing the nurses.  She was constantly ringing the call button, bugging the nurses to bring her more blankets, turn up the TV, find the remote, get her this, get her that...

What irked me was that I'd asked for another blanket nicely and was told, "You're not really cold; you're in a lot of pain and that makes you think you're cold" and was NOT given one, but the Snowflake got extra blankets ASAP because she was such a pain.

Then the Snowflake, with all her blankets, decided she needed fresh air and that she was hot.  She asked me to open the window, as my bed was next to it.  IT WAS SNOWING.  I said, "It's snowing.  I'm NOT opening the window." 

She could not believe I wouldn't open the window and let snow drift in over me during a major storm (it was Maine in January). 

After a few more hours of her, I checked out of the hospital against doctor's orders and went home early, feeling still very, very ill.

My Mom had a roommate like that except she had "guests" well after visiting hours were over and then complained when my sister was called up to calm down my Mom (sundowners). The woman made the soundowners worse by keeping Mom up all night. Sis complained politely to the doctor (praising the attempts by the nurses to handle the situation so they wouldn't get in trouble) - doctor ordered a single room as a medical necessity.

Turns out the hospital system has a program that people over 55 or 65 can sign up for that gives them private rooms for no extra money if one is available. Sis got multiple copies of the paper work filled it out for Mom had her sign it. Then she took the paper work to several family members and had them fill it out. Then she turned it in for them (she worked for that system at the time and most of our family's doctors have privileges in a hospital that is part of the system. ) So when my uncle had his surgery - he automatically got a private room.

[Karmelita]

Hospitals do seem to bring out the worst in people...

About 15 years ago, I was a passenger in a car that got t-boned at an intersection late at night; it was maybe 1am.  My door was the one that got hit and the side of the car was crushed.  Ironically, I was the only one wearing a seatbelt but I was the only one who did not walk away (and although the old-fashioned lap belt did a lot of damage, I'm pretty sure it also kept me from winding up on the hood of the other car).   I had a concussion and at first could not move my legs.

For some reason, all of the area hospitals were insanely busy that night.  I was brought in strapped to one of those backboards.  Not terribly comfy, esp with the neck brace thrown in.  They had to leave me on it till the x-rays were done, but had to treat the critical cases first.  There were several of these that night.

Just to set the scene, I remember one really heartbreaking one - an elderly man brought his sick wife in, and I first became aware of them when I heard the husband getting irate that his wife's wedding ring had been removed.  He was loud for a few minutes, then broke down in tears and apologized to the staff for getting angry, and telling them that they had been married for over 50 years and he just wasn't ready to lose her yet.  Add in the cases I didn't see, me on the board (for 7 hours total), one of my fellow passengers getting really sick due to her concussion, and in walks this lady and her husband.

I don't know what time she got there, but just based on the time of my accident, it had to have been well after 2am.  They were maybe in their 30's or 40's, nicely dressed, average suburban couple.  She has a headache, and she wants Demerol (I know, classic drug seeking behavior, but still).  They explain that they can't give her Demerol, and offer her something more suited to a headache.  This sets her off and she starts screeching at the top of her lungs.  I can't remember what exactly she was saying, something about them being useless and she needed Demerol for her headache because nothing else worked, and she couldn't believe how they were treating her, etc.  The nurse at the admitting desk wouldn't cave, and I swear that woman was there for over an hour, screaming at the top of her lungs.  Even though I was still foggy from hitting my head, I began to get seriously annoyed.  Lady, I'm strapped to a board and I'm just happy I managed to wiggle my toes.  The man over there is saying goodbye to his wife.  You do NOT take priority here.

[TychaBrahe]

This made me giggle.  I can't remember where the heck I read it, but a gentleman was tired of waiting at red lights and then getting honked at a split second after the light turned green (his not having jumped on the accelerator, I suppose).  Anyway, the next time someone did that, he turned off his engine, stepped out of his car, slowly locked the door with the key, slowly ambled back to the person who'd honked, asked them to roll down their window and said, "I beg your pardon, did you wish to summon me?".  After getting a negative, slowly back to the car, slow unlock of the door, slow everything.  He said it was kind of pleasant making the "honker" miss 3 green lights.   

Mike Royko described doing that, maybe 30 years ago.  "Well, you honked at me.  I assumed you wanted to tell me something."

[TychaBrahe]

Or the ones who want you to move the cow so they can see what their great-grandfather looked like.  I've got a picture like that; I took a picture of my uncle when he was taking a picture of me, and it shows him with a camera in front of his face.  Maybe I could ask to have the camera moved so I can see his face... (I know enough about photography to know that if they moved the camera there'd just be this big blank camera-shaped hole in the picture and no uncle.  So I wouldn't ask something like that.  But you can bet that every photo shop has been asked a question like that at least once.) 

There's a book called A Martian Wouldn't Say That, about the stupid things that network television have told industry people.  (The title is in reference to a piece of dialogue in My Favorite Martian that a network exec said sounded disingenuous.)  One of the people involved in the show MacMillan and Wife tells about screening the opening credits sequence.  Part of it showed Mrs. MacMillan walking away from the camera down a dark alley.  The exec said the shot would be more dramatic if she were coming toward the camera (um, no, it wouldn't).  Without arguing about that, the guy with the show said they didn't have the money to refilm the sequence.

Oh, that was alright, said the exec.  Just flip the flim over.

[Sirius]

I despise parking lot vultures; specifically the ones with delusions of high importance (Snowflake Syndrome?).

The one nice thing (or so I thought) about the visit was that we landed a great parking spot.  After we finished loading groceries in the trunk, I started buckling the kiddo into his carseat.  At this point the lady who had followed us from the front doors of the store to our parking spot and had been waiting for it this entire time became impatient enough to honk at us to hurry up so she could take our spot.

This made me giggle.  I can't remember where the heck I read it, but a gentleman was tired of waiting at red lights and then getting honked at a split second after the light turned green (his not having jumped on the accelerator, I suppose).  Anyway, the next time someone did that, he turned off his engine, stepped out of his car, slowly locked the door with the key, slowly ambled back to the person who'd honked, asked them to roll down their window and said, "I beg your pardon, did you wish to summon me?".  After getting a negative, slowly back to the car, slow unlock of the door, slow everything.  He said it was kind of pleasant making the "honker" miss 3 green lights.   

Back when my aunt drove a Studebaker, her car died at a stop sign.  She's trying to get it started when someone comes up behind her and starts honking.  She got out of the car, went back to the other car, and said, very sweetly, "Would you like to go up and try to start my car while I sit back here and honk?" 

[Sirius]

I remember flying with one back in the late nineties.

She was ahead of me as we checked in for a flight that would take about 2 hours. She looked to be in her mid-sixties, dressed in very casual, though probably expensive, clothes - t-shirt, walking shorts, running shoes. I could tell from the start she was in a bad mood, and seemed to be miffed that the whole check-in was taking, well, as long as a checkin usually does.

When she'd finished, and the nice lady at the desk handed her her boarding pass, she suddenly turned on her and hissed "So, where is my wheelchair? Why are you forcing me to walk to the plane? Don't you know I had arthroscopic surgery on my knee six weeks ago?"

The agent asked, helplessly, if she'd ordered a wheelchair in advance. No, she hadn't - surely it was only reasonable that the airline would see an elderly woman and have a wheelchair ready and waiting for her. Certainly SHE should not have to wait for one. Even if she walked up to the counter under her own steam, with no discernible limp. A trolley was quickly found to take her to her gate, but after she was out of earshot, I heard the agent sigh, "They get mad if we assume they *do* need a wheelchair without asking...."

Some people are classy.  The lady who sat next to me on a flight walked with a cane.  She was asked if she needed a wheelchair in the terminal, and she said, "No, but thank you for asking." 

[Zenith]

*giggles at the image of a herd of special snowflakes*

Oh no.  Please say they don't all travel together at some point.  One or two at a time is one thing, but en masse?!  YIKES!

Special Snowflake Snowballs? Commonly seen when they group en masse at a black friday sale. (runs and hides)

[AFwife_3boys]

Ok - my mom's behavior in this story is NOT e-hell approved - but it's darn funny!

I was born 4 days before Christmas so during the THanksgiving/Christmas season mom is HUGE and ready to pop!

So she goes to the mall the first week of December to try to get some shopping done before I arrive and is waiting patiently for a spot in the front row. All of a sudden the car backs out TOWARDS her (meaning she had to wait for them to move to pull in)when ANOTHER car (that mom has seen circling the parking lot for a spot at least 3 times and so KNOWS they have seen her waiting as they have driven by her once already) zooms around the corner and pulls in AND flips off my mother in the process.

Mom finally finds a parking spot in the back 40 and goes walking down the lane to the mall when she sees their car. So - what does her pregnancy induced emotions will her to do? YEP - she let the air out of ALLLLL their tires and, as she's finishing up is approched by a little old man who feels SOOO sorry for the pregnant woman with the four flat tires. "Who would do such a dreadful thing at this time of year and especially to someone in your condition?" So he demands that she allow him to drive her somewhere to get help so she accepts and has him deliver her to my dad's work. After the man leaves my mom tells my dad the whole story - he rolls his eyes and laughs at her and takes her back to her car.  After she gets her car and leaves she drives past those people that took her spot and are standing around in awe of their dilemma - she then percedes to honk, wave, and race out of the lot!

Ok - so the FIRST SS's were the ones that TOOK the spot but my mom deserves a spot in SS e-hell due to letting the air out of their tires because they DARED to take HER spot!

ROFLMBO! (this was in the 70's by the way)

[Yarnspinner]

Just thought of my ex-SIL, Suzie Psychopath again.

To commence, Suzie always had to be the center of attention, no matter how dire the circumstances were for the other person so:

1) After major surgery, I was recuperating at home for six weeks.  Two of my best friends took time off and traded days so i wouldn't be alone the first week I was home.  They cooked for me, cleaned my house and so forth.  Suzie made the statement it was a good thing I had friends because SHE didn't have time to come and take care of me.  (I didn't ask her.) 

She DID have time, though, to call me up while I was still groggy from drugs and proceeded to blast me for almost an hour about how selfish my parents were regards something she thought they should do for her and my brother.  Never asked how I was or how surgery went.  And she used the "f" word liberally thru out the monologue.  Then hung up.  Didn't call me again or visit.  Ever.

2) I posted this story (with some minor changes) in the main section.  Suzie was suddenly and inexplicably determined that we have a Big Anniversary Party for an uncle and aunt who were opposed to having a party at all.  She went ahead with it anyway, insisted I buy all the papergoods and she would take care of the food. 

I purchased the papergoods at Big Discount Paper Warehouse of Good Quality But No Refunds After One Month.  I told Suzie this.  She said not to worry, she LOVED what I had selected.  You guessed it.  A whole month goes by and  Suzie decided she didn't like the plates I'd bought.  Because Suzie was so scary, I caved and bought MORE plates.

MEANWHILE, my uncle fell, broke his hip and his subsequent stay in the hospital caused him to contract a vicious respiratory illness. 

Suzie and my brother went to visit him and Suzie's salutation was "I can't believe you ****ing did this to me you irresponsible, disrespectful ****ing b*****d!  I worked my ****ing butt off for this **** ing party.  How DARE you ruin it!"  According to my cousin who was also visiting, she went on for almost forty five minutes about how mean and disrespectful my uncle was to fall and break his hip. 

She called me later to scream that the party was off and how she was out sooooooooooo much money.

Yeah, she was out $2.50 for the container of M&Ms she had opened.  Everything else she managed to return to the store and got a full refund.  I was stuck with almost $350 worth of plates that said "Happy Anniversary Aunt and Uncle" and gold table clothes.

Fortunately, the paper didn't go to waste: my brother divorced Suzie that same year (it was her idea) and I used the paper table cloths, napkins and plates and cups for: 4th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas, a couple of birthdays and at least one more Thanksgiving.  The cousins happily  told the story of Suzie to anyone who wanted to know why on earth we were all using "Happy Anniversary" plates at Thanksgiving.

3) My mother was dying.  I took all the vacation and personal time I had left to accompany my Dad to the hospital and to sit with my Mom.  Suzie says "It's a good thing you're here and you like visiting dying people.  If it was just me and your brother, your Mom would die alone 'cause we hate hospitals."  Yeah, I really enjoyed watching my Mom screaming in pain for morphine and talking to people I couldn't see.  It was the funnest thing ever.

AFTER Mom died, Suzie, who had raised a hell of a ruckus about always having the holiday dinners at her house (and refused to let me have them at mine) said "Well, *I* am going to host Easter dinner this year.  I haven't been able to have it the way I want ever since your Mom moved in.  NOW I can do it up the way I want."

When my brother called to say he and Suzie were divorcing, I said to him "I don't know what to say."

He said "How about saying 'What took you so long to see the light, dumba**??"

So I did.

[Hillia]

This made me giggle.  I can't remember where the heck I read it, but a gentleman was tired of waiting at red lights and then getting honked at a split second after the light turned green (his not having jumped on the accelerator, I suppose).  Anyway, the next time someone did that, he turned off his engine, stepped out of his car, slowly locked the door with the key, slowly ambled back to the person who'd honked, asked them to roll down their window and said, "I beg your pardon, did you wish to summon me?".  After getting a negative, slowly back to the car, slow unlock of the door, slow everything.  He said it was kind of pleasant making the "honker" miss 3 green lights.   

Mike Royko described doing that, maybe 30 years ago.  "Well, you honked at me.  I assumed you wanted to tell me something."

My current pet peeve is people who leave shopping carts loose in the parking lot, especially when there are 'cart corrals' sprinkled liberally about.

I was getting ready to pull into a parking space one day, when a SS looked at my partially turned car, and deliberately put her cart in the spot I was turning in to.  I leaned out and asked her (ok, maybe not terribly politely, but I did ask) to move the cart, and she flipped me off and got in her car.  So I left my car where it was, right behind hers, got out, slowly walked over to her cart, walked it to the farthest cart corrall, walked slowly back, checked my tires, smiled sweetly, got in my car, and finished my parking.  To say she was not happy is an understatement.

[Yarnspinner]

This made me giggle.  I can't remember where the heck I read it, but a gentleman was tired of waiting at red lights and then getting honked at a split second after the light turned green (his not having jumped on the accelerator, I suppose).  Anyway, the next time someone did that, he turned off his engine, stepped out of his car, slowly locked the door with the key, slowly ambled back to the person who'd honked, asked them to roll down their window and said, "I beg your pardon, did you wish to summon me?".  After getting a negative, slowly back to the car, slow unlock of the door, slow everything.  He said it was kind of pleasant making the "honker" miss 3 green lights.   

Mike Royko described doing that, maybe 30 years ago.  "Well, you honked at me.  I assumed you wanted to tell me something."

My current pet peeve is people who leave shopping carts loose in the parking lot, especially when there are 'cart corrals' sprinkled liberally about.

I was getting ready to pull into a parking space one day, when a SS looked at my partially turned car, and deliberately put her cart in the spot I was turning in to.  I leaned out and asked her (ok, maybe not terribly politely, but I did ask) to move the cart, and she flipped me off and got in her car.  So I left my car where it was, right behind hers, got out, slowly walked over to her cart, walked it to the farthest cart corrall, walked slowly back, checked my tires, smiled sweetly, got in my car, and finished my parking.  To say she was not happy is an understatement.

While this may not have been the safest course of action, 2ndtimebride, I still stand up and applaud you.  Wildly.  You are my hero today.

[Venus193]

3) My mother was dying.  I took all the vacation and personal time I had left to accompany my Dad to the hospital and to sit with my Mom.  Suzie says "It's a good thing you're here and you like visiting dying people.  If it was just me and your brother, your Mom would die alone 'cause we hate hospitals."  Yeah, I really enjoyed watching my Mom screaming in pain for morphine and talking to people I couldn't see.  It was the funnest thing ever.

This is astonishingly sociopathic.  This woman lacks any shred of humanity and your brother is well rid of her.