Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5539083 times)

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MrTango

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23025 on: August 23, 2013, 09:54:38 AM »
Youngest sister is single, unlike myself or our other sister. She has told us several times that she has more expenses than we do, since she is single. Also, she shouldn't ever be expected to buy a gift or send a card, but the first birthday and Christmas she didn't get a gift? There was a giant tantrum.

I am really not looking forward to estate issues when the time comes.

I'm not either.  My parents have named me their POA and the younger of my two sisters as Executor of the estate. (She's the secondary POA and I'm the secondary Executor).  The other sister is somewhat entitled and has had constant financial woes (mostly through her own bad choices).

I'm really not looking forward to having to deal with her if my parents are ever incapacitated because I will be the decision maker, and I will be making decisions based on my parents' best interests, not mine or anyone else's.

Thipu1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23026 on: August 23, 2013, 10:43:57 AM »
My sister once told our mother not to leave a certain heirloom to me, since I didn't have any children to pass it along to.

I've taken a lot of guff in my family for choosing not to have kids, but I think that was among the worst things said to me.
I suppose she thought you'd sell it at a garage sale, rather than leave it to her children in your will? >:D

We have the opposite problem.  MIL is getting rid of a lot of her things and keeps pushing us to take them.  They're very nice but we have no use for them and no children. 

We often suggest that she offer them first to her grandchildren who have children of their own.  That would be the best thing to do.  Still, she insists on being 'fair' to everyone. 

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23027 on: August 23, 2013, 11:56:33 AM »
DH and I are the most established, having held our jobs for 8 and 7 years respectively. I expect to be asked that I provide for youngest sister in my parent's absence. The answer will be no.

One of my co-irkers is fluttering around today, full of a sense of busyness and has interrupted three executive meetings so far because she is in too much of a hurry to wait. What she is doing could have been done any time in the last three months or the next two weeks, but it must supersede all other activities!

mumma to KMC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23028 on: August 23, 2013, 11:57:21 AM »
Where my IL's live, there are freight trains running by every so often, planes flying overhead, and then there's the highway that is not too far from their home, either.

She says when they move again she wants to find a place far from planes, trains and automobiles. (well other than a small amount of rural traffic)

My husband's family lives a block from the train tracks. The tracks were there when they bought the house 30 years ago and will be there long after they die. That doesn't stop my mil from threatening acts of violence every time a train goes by.

Cami

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23029 on: August 23, 2013, 12:28:21 PM »
Where my IL's live, there are freight trains running by every so often, planes flying overhead, and then there's the highway that is not too far from their home, either.

She says when they move again she wants to find a place far from planes, trains and automobiles. (well other than a small amount of rural traffic)

My husband's family lives a block from the train tracks. The tracks were there when they bought the house 30 years ago and will be there long after they die. That doesn't stop my mil from threatening acts of violence every time a train goes by.
I used to work in an urban church. The church was built 100+ years ago when  people went to their neighborhood church by walking to it. Hence, the church had no parking lot.  FFwd 50 years and when people attend worship or visit the church, they must find on-street parking as there simply is no other option. The streets nearby are posted with "2 hour only" parking signs.  There was one neighbor who moved in a few years ago -- so about 90 years after the church was built -- who bitterly complained on a regular basis to us that the church people were parking on "her" street and we "had to do something about that."  At one point I was fed up with her nasty phone calls and pointed out that when she bought the house, it's kinda hard to miss the big church in front of her house. Or... the football stadium down the street that also doesn't have a parking lot and whose THOUSANDS of fans also park on her street.  Well, she hated that too. At that point, I suggested she might want to sell her house and move out to the country where she wouldn't have to deal with city parking issues. "BUT WE WANT TO LIVE HERE! WE JUST DON"T WANT PEOPLE PARKING ON OUR STREET! IT's OUR STREET! Not everyone else's!" OY.
« Last Edit: August 23, 2013, 12:31:14 PM by Cami »

snowdragon

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23030 on: August 23, 2013, 12:34:20 PM »
Where my IL's live, there are freight trains running by every so often, planes flying overhead, and then there's the highway that is not too far from their home, either.

She says when they move again she wants to find a place far from planes, trains and automobiles. (well other than a small amount of rural traffic)

My husband's family lives a block from the train tracks. The tracks were there when they bought the house 30 years ago and will be there long after they die. That doesn't stop my mil from threatening acts of violence every time a train goes by.


 I live near three railroad lines in 1974 when we moved in two of those lines were out of service and overgrown. Recently ( with in the past 5 years) they have been repaired and put to use.  On the other track, we have seen a 5 r 6 fold jump in traffic this year.  It can get annoying sometimes, even for those of us who love the trains.

shhh its me

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23031 on: August 23, 2013, 12:57:36 PM »
SS in the 20 items or less lane at Walmart:
I got in the line, and there were 2 people ahead of me. The first one checked out quickly, and then the next one stepped up with a box of packages of chewing gum. No problem, right?
Then the cashier rang up one package of gum. The lady swiped her debit card, typed in her pin number and punched the cash back button. The cashier opened her drawer, counted out $100 to her, closed the drawer and handed her the receipt. Then she picked up another package of gum....
After the third package, I couldn't help saying, "Are you ringing all those up separately?" (Maybe I should have kept my mouth closed, but this is the express checkout.) The cashier said, "This is the only way my supervisor said we could do this." and picked up the next package. By this time, there were several people behind me, and I'm looking around for another line. After 7 or 8 transactions, the customer finally realized that what she was doing was really holding things up and took what she had and left. The cashier told me she wanted $1900 from her debit card.
I can't imagine assuming that the express lane at Walmart would have that much cash at once, or that doing 19 individual transactions in the express lane or any other lane. That's what banks are for. I guess it there could have been some kind of emergency, but the supervisor could have opened a lane to help her, or sent her to customer service.

She shouldn't have been holding up the line, but there may be logical reasons for what she did:

Maybe she wasn't near her bank and was trying to avoid the ATM fees. I know my dd's bank charges an ATM fee of $2.50 for any withdrawal transaction not part of their network. So when she was away at an internship, she often would go to the grocery or Walmart and buy some small needed item to make a cash withdrawal that way instead. When your'e a poor college student, $2.50 is a lot of money.

I don't know why she'd do that many transactions unless perhaps the store had a $110 cap on cash back from a debit card purchase.
But she was buying gum with each withdrawal, so it couldn't have been the $2 savings.

In any case, it should have been done at customer service. But that's more on WalMart than the woman.

I'm surprised it didn't occur to the cashier to turn off her light (you know, the one signaling that her lane is open?) so a line wouldn't build up behind SS.

I'm also surprised that the drawer would have over $1900 of cash to give to SS.

I'm surprised too. When I worked in a supermarket when my till go over $1000, it had to go to the cash office.

Just wanted to add another "logical" reason.  Any ATM card Ive had has always limited the cash the can be withdrawn somewhere like $300-500.  I can go into the bank and withdraw $1900*( but I can't withdraw $1900 in cash from my credit union service center that's limited to $750) I can write a check or use my debit card or $1900 but I can not withdraw $1900 in cash from a ATM or ATMs (its a daily limit not a this machine limits withdraws to $300 per person)

Elfmama

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23032 on: August 23, 2013, 01:35:37 PM »
Ugh. My uncle tried pulling something similar. He went whining to his parents with "Sis#1 (my mom) has a house, and Sis#2 has a house, but I don't!" He expected the parents to correct this travesty!

Yeah, the reason Sis#1 has a house is because she worked hard for it, and Sis#2 inherited hers through her DH. Parents informed him that they were not going to hand him a house on a silver platter.


My sister told my mother to take me out of the will because "She has a house and a vacation house, and her husband makes good money! She doesn't need any more!"  and "Brother has a good job as a teacher, he doesn't need money either! They have everything and I have nothing! They shouldn't be in the will!"

Hooboy.....

Youngest sister is single, unlike myself or our other sister. She has told us several times that she has more expenses than we do, since she is single. Also, she shouldn't ever be expected to buy a gift or send a card, but the first birthday and Christmas she didn't get a gift? There was a giant tantrum.

I am really not looking forward to estate issues when the time comes.
If the executor isn't a completely unbiased person like a lawyer, it SHOULD be, ASAP.  Because if you or other sister are the executor, there may be a lawsuit by youngest sister to force you to give her "her fair share." :(  Never underestimate the power of a hissyfit when it comes to sharing out even the most modest estate or the most insignificant tchotchke.   
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into books first.
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mumma to KMC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23033 on: August 23, 2013, 02:29:41 PM »
Where my IL's live, there are freight trains running by every so often, planes flying overhead, and then there's the highway that is not too far from their home, either.

She says when they move again she wants to find a place far from planes, trains and automobiles. (well other than a small amount of rural traffic)

My husband's family lives a block from the train tracks. The tracks were there when they bought the house 30 years ago and will be there long after they die. That doesn't stop my mil from threatening acts of violence every time a train goes by.


 I live near three railroad lines in 1974 when we moved in two of those lines were out of service and overgrown. Recently ( with in the past 5 years) they have been repaired and put to use.  On the other track, we have seen a 5 r 6 fold jump in traffic this year.  It can get annoying sometimes, even for those of us who love the trains.

These tracks have been active as long as they've lived there. It may be more so now these days, but they knew what they were getting into ;).

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23034 on: August 23, 2013, 02:59:04 PM »
Ugh. My uncle tried pulling something similar. He went whining to his parents with "Sis#1 (my mom) has a house, and Sis#2 has a house, but I don't!" He expected the parents to correct this travesty!

Yeah, the reason Sis#1 has a house is because she worked hard for it, and Sis#2 inherited hers through her DH. Parents informed him that they were not going to hand him a house on a silver platter.


My sister told my mother to take me out of the will because "She has a house and a vacation house, and her husband makes good money! She doesn't need any more!"  and "Brother has a good job as a teacher, he doesn't need money either! They have everything and I have nothing! They shouldn't be in the will!"

Hooboy.....

Youngest sister is single, unlike myself or our other sister. She has told us several times that she has more expenses than we do, since she is single. Also, she shouldn't ever be expected to buy a gift or send a card, but the first birthday and Christmas she didn't get a gift? There was a giant tantrum.

I am really not looking forward to estate issues when the time comes.
If the executor isn't a completely unbiased person like a lawyer, it SHOULD be, ASAP.  Because if you or other sister are the executor, there may be a lawsuit by youngest sister to force you to give her "her fair share." :(  Never underestimate the power of a hissyfit when it comes to sharing out even the most modest estate or the most insignificant tchotchke.

No will, no estate planning, no lawyer.

gramma dishes

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23035 on: August 23, 2013, 03:03:26 PM »

  No will, no estate planning, no lawyer.

Yikes!   :o   Is there any way you could tactfully convince her that maybe she should be thinking of taking care of that?

jayhawk

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23036 on: August 23, 2013, 03:05:23 PM »

  No will, no estate planning, no lawyer.

Yikes!   :o   Is there any way you could tactfully convince her that maybe she should be thinking of taking care of that?


POD TO THE NTH DEGREE.  This is a family feud just waiting to happen. Please get your folks to a good estate planning attorney.

otterwoman

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23037 on: August 23, 2013, 03:06:58 PM »
Ugh. My uncle tried pulling something similar. He went whining to his parents with "Sis#1 (my mom) has a house, and Sis#2 has a house, but I don't!" He expected the parents to correct this travesty!

Yeah, the reason Sis#1 has a house is because she worked hard for it, and Sis#2 inherited hers through her DH. Parents informed him that they were not going to hand him a house on a silver platter.


My sister told my mother to take me out of the will because "She has a house and a vacation house, and her husband makes good money! She doesn't need any more!"  and "Brother has a good job as a teacher, he doesn't need money either! They have everything and I have nothing! They shouldn't be in the will!"

Hooboy.....

Youngest sister is single, unlike myself or our other sister. She has told us several times that she has more expenses than we do, since she is single. Also, she shouldn't ever be expected to buy a gift or send a card, but the first birthday and Christmas she didn't get a gift? There was a giant tantrum.

I am really not looking forward to estate issues when the time comes.
If the executor isn't a completely unbiased person like a lawyer, it SHOULD be, ASAP.  Because if you or other sister are the executor, there may be a lawsuit by youngest sister to force you to give her "her fair share." :(  Never underestimate the power of a hissyfit when it comes to sharing out even the most modest estate or the most insignificant tchotchke.

No will, no estate planning, no lawyer.

DH's family is like that. They will not discuss what they want done with their possessions or even their remains. It's like death doesn't happen to them. My family discusses death easily; who will get what in the wills, how they want remains dealt with. After DD was born I asked DH to write a new will (he actually had one, naming his then-minor son). He kept putting it off. I finally just made the appointment at the lawyers office and dragged him with me.

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23038 on: August 23, 2013, 03:16:11 PM »

  No will, no estate planning, no lawyer.

Yikes!   :o   Is there any way you could tactfully convince her that maybe she should be thinking of taking care of that?


POD TO THE NTH DEGREE.  This is a family feud just waiting to happen. Please get your folks to a good estate planning attorney.

Working on it with my other sister. My parents think things like financial or estate planning are for when your old. Myself, my DH, my sister and her DH all have our affairs in order. We are trying very hard. DH' cousin is a lawyer and we are trying to get them to talk to him since they know him.
« Last Edit: August 23, 2013, 03:25:11 PM by ladyknight1 »

VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23039 on: August 23, 2013, 03:19:59 PM »
Some people truly are revolting aren't they?  What the heck do they expect the family to do?

Live in a ghetto with all the other undesirables (i.e. - not like me!)
Or institutionalize the child, because EVERYBODY knows that ALL handicapped children have no more brains than a head of lettuce and should be put away where other people don't have to think about them.   ::)

The sister of my friend shared something on fbook, an album of about 300 photos taken of suitcases left at an asylum, and it is said that the people never saw their families again, and when they were died, were buried in unmarked graves behind the asylum.    :'(  That made me tear up when I read it and I couldn't look at the whole album in the article, it just made me too sad to think of all these abandoned people and unmarked graves and think of how the mentally ill were once treated.

Doesn't surprise me (even though it is awful). My father used to work for a mental institution. Some of his patients had grown up there - they were left there as babies or small children and never got out. Up until about the 80's, this was considered acceptable. When the place shut down and most of the patients went to group homes, Dad was actually pretty mad - the ones who had never been outside their whole lives had no idea what to do in a group home. He thought it was mean to just throw them in and expect them to adjust.

Was this in Texas?  My Dad worked in a place that had been a tubuculosis hospital but transitioned to the adult mentally retarded.

There were people who had been there for thirty and forty years (since they were infants or toddlers) who had epilepsy - and had no mental issues at all (other than not having been taught a lot of things - because before 1950 or even 1960 something - epilepsy was considered equal to mental retardation). 

After he'd been there a while, the transfers to group homes started to happen for every resident who was not in such poor health or so badly mentally impacted that they were bed ridden or required one-on-one care at all times. Someone who is forty and never learned to read or write past a second grade level is probably NOT prepared to handle their own cooking, cleaning, laundry, and the like.....without more training and supervision.
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