Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5528163 times)

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unnalee

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23295 on: September 06, 2013, 10:13:39 AM »
Another SS bus driver:

Before we moved into town, my morning commute was through some pretty rural area.  We tried to time our carpool so that we could avoid following the school bus as he picked up the kids.  Sometimes we weren't so lucky.

At one house, there were 4 kids.  They were NEVER ready when the bus got there (SS family in their own right).  They'd trickle out one at a time, and the driver would just sit there at the intersection and wait for them, once for almost 10 minutes!  All the while, the red lights on the bus were flashing and the stop sign was out, so anyone turning off the main highway couldn't turn down the country road, and anyone (like us) trying to turn off the county road to get onto the highway was stuck too.  After this happened twice, a few of us called the bus company and the school district.  The policy was that the bus wasn't supposed to wait for more than 3 minutes at any house.  They were well aware of the problem, as it was making the kids on this particular route late for school.

The next time the kids weren't ready when the bus came, my car was directly behind it.  As he waited for the kids, the driver stuck his arm out of the window to wave us to go around the bus.  But he kept the red flashers on and the stop sign out!  Here, it's VERY ILLEGAL to go around a bus when the red flashers are on, resulting in huge fines and points on your license. 

You could tell he was getting mad at us for not going around, because his arm motions were getting more forceful.  My passenger calmly got out of the car, walked up to the window and told the driver that we weren't about to break the law, just because he waved us around.  Driver sheepishly realized the problem, and from then on started to pull off the road when the kids weren't ready to go.

We reported these antics too, and thankfully, the driver isn't employed there anymore.

LadyDyani

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23296 on: September 06, 2013, 10:55:03 AM »
A few years ago I was waiting outside the elementary school, waiting for my sons, when I heard one guy griping about Justin Bieber and the (redacted) Canadians and other immigrants coming in to take jobs away from Americans.

Mind you, this guy had told me that he was first generation Irish-American and while I didn't say anything, I couldn't help but wonder if this guy knew about the "No Irish Need Apply" signs that were up around the time my ancestors came over from Eire.

Every time I hear people talking like that it reminds me of this: http://xkcd.com/84/
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CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23297 on: September 06, 2013, 12:04:36 PM »
While I was visiting my younger sister, she took me to a party at a friend’s house.  Also in attendance were a pregnant couple and their 6-year-old Pwecious Pwincess (the only child at the party).  The couple was convinced that Pwecious was the most amazing child ever born, and they encouraged her to make herself the center of attention. She was actually a very obnoxious child.

Pwecious was explaining to everyone that she didn’t want a baby sister.  I pointed to my sister and said that having a sister was one of the best things in my life.  I jokingly added, “And having a younger sister means you can make her do things for you”. 

The couple went ballistic.  They screamed at me for saying such a terrible thing.  At one point, they actually stated that they’d have to take the child to a therapist to straighten her out. 
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gramma dishes

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23298 on: September 06, 2013, 12:24:31 PM »
...    I jokingly added, “And having a younger sister means you can make her do things for you”. 

The couple went ballistic.  They screamed at me for saying such a terrible thing.  At one point, they actually stated that they’d have to take the child to a therapist to straighten her out.

That bolded part might be prophetic indeed, but it wouldn't be because of what you said.   :)

Shalamar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23299 on: September 06, 2013, 12:30:42 PM »
Seconded!

And on a related note, it drives me nuts when people allow kids to attend a party that's meant only for adults.   My mother remembers going to a late-night party at her boss's house, and her boss's then-4-year-old son was riding his tricycle throughout the house (!), running into people, knocking things over, and generally being a nuisance.  The boss's wife was absolutely useless - she just kept saying plaintively "Sweetie, don't you want to go to bed?"  Of course, the answer from the brat was "No!", and that was apparently the end of the discussion.   ???

DollyPond

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23300 on: September 06, 2013, 12:49:51 PM »
Seconded!

And on a related note, it drives me nuts when people allow kids to attend a party that's meant only for adults.   My mother remembers going to a late-night party at her boss's house, and her boss's then-4-year-old son was riding his tricycle throughout the house (!), running into people, knocking things over, and generally being a nuisance.  The boss's wife was absolutely useless - she just kept saying plaintively "Sweetie, don't you want to go to bed?"  Of course, the answer from the brat was "No!", and that was apparently the end of the discussion.   ???

And then there was the case I experienced of a couple who BROUGHT their kid to an all adult dinner party because "We don't believe in babysitters".  This kid was hyperactive and crawling all over the floors under the tables, etc. The couple thought this was ever so prescious! 

Funny how they were never invited to another all adult dinner party again.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23301 on: September 06, 2013, 12:59:56 PM »
Seconded!

And on a related note, it drives me nuts when people allow kids to attend a party that's meant only for adults.   My mother remembers going to a late-night party at her boss's house, and her boss's then-4-year-old son was riding his tricycle throughout the house (!), running into people, knocking things over, and generally being a nuisance.  The boss's wife was absolutely useless - she just kept saying plaintively "Sweetie, don't you want to go to bed?"  Of course, the answer from the brat was "No!", and that was apparently the end of the discussion.   ???

Ugh, that's one of my pet peeves, when parents ask children that young if they want to do something they need to do.  When visiting my cousin about 2 years ago, the wife, daughter and I were getting ready to go to the beach on our last day visiting them.   The weather had been rather warm for a January weekend (50's) and being a beach lover I wanted to get in one more visit before we left. (cousins live about 5 minutes from the Jersey shore)

DH was eager to get on the road cause it's a long drive home and the wife kept saying to her 3 year old daughter. "Do you want to go potty now?" "Why don't we go potty now?"  I wanted to scoop up the child, carry her to the toilet and say "here, I know you don't think you need to go but let's sit and try anyway."   

The mother is always like this with both of their kids.  There's no "We're going to do this!" It's always "Do you want to?" And if the answer is no, she waits till the answer is yes.  ::)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23302 on: September 06, 2013, 01:03:56 PM »
My SIL always gave my nephews a choice - but it was between two options.  'Do you want to go to bed in 3 minutes or 5 minutes?'  Of course, they always chose 5.

I would have just said, 'Time for bed!' but she'd read some parenting book that says you need to give kids a choice so they feel empowered or something like that.

Now at 21 and almost 19 (and their mother pretty much out of their lives for the last year and a half), they are both pretty good kids so maybe it worked.  And it wasn't just a load of hogwash, like I was thinking it was.   :D
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suzieQ

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23303 on: September 06, 2013, 01:12:02 PM »
I hear a lot of people talking to kids using a statement, like "It's time to go to bed now," but they end it with "ok?"
I much prefer "It's time to go to bed now." It's not a question and they don't get a choice.
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siamesecat2965

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23304 on: September 06, 2013, 01:15:57 PM »
Ugh, that's one of my pet peeves, when parents ask children that young if they want to do something they need to do.  When visiting my cousin about 2 years ago, the wife, daughter and I were getting ready to go to the beach on our last day visiting them.   The weather had been rather warm for a January weekend (50's) and being a beach lover I wanted to get in one more visit before we left. (cousins live about 5 minutes from the Jersey shore)

   

The mother is always like this with both of their kids.  There's no "We're going to do this!" It's always "Do you want to?" And if the answer is no, she waits till the answer is yes.  ::)

I will climb up on my soapbox and say, and I'm generalizing and giving MY opinion - this is why there are so many ill-behaved children. I was never asked; I was told it's now bedtime, let's go, or, told to my whatever it was away I was doing, or it's dinner time, turn the tv off NOW and come to the table. And if I didn't comply, there were consequences.

 it's a pet peeve of mine as well. I saw something a number of years ago, on 20/20 or something like that, about unruly kids, and how to deal wiht them.  one thing that stuck out ws you shouldn't give them too many options, and showed a small child, maybe 4 or 5, who was resistent to teeth brushing.

He had something like 10 different toothbrushes, and half the battle was choosing which one to use. They said don't give them that many choices, one, and that's what you use, and that's that.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23305 on: September 06, 2013, 01:22:44 PM »
My SIL always gave my nephews a choice - but it was between two options.  'Do you want to go to bed in 3 minutes or 5 minutes?'  Of course, they always chose 5.

I would have just said, 'Time for bed!' but she'd read some parenting book that says you need to give kids a choice so they feel empowered or something like that.

Now at 21 and almost 19 (and their mother pretty much out of their lives for the last year and a half), they are both pretty good kids so maybe it worked.  And it wasn't just a load of hogwash, like I was thinking it was.   :D

The advantage of the "choice" method is that young children don't multi-task very well.  If they're focused on trying to choose between two options - even if it's an obvious choice, like wanting to stay up an extra two minutes - they're much less likely to have a screaming fit over the fact that they're going to bed at all.  If you scoop them up and say "time for bed," they've got plenty of energy to focus on how much they don't want to be doing whatever you're trying to get them to do.  As a bonus, it also gets them used to making decisions, so when they're a bit older you can tell them "pick up the living room" or "go get dressed for school" and they're less likely to stand there for ten minutes wondering what toy to pick up first or what shirt to wear . . .

lilfox

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23306 on: September 06, 2013, 01:29:53 PM »
Some of the parenting examples just given don't qualify for SS, in my book.

SS parenting is letting the child set the entire agenda, like riding his tricycle into guests and being destructive/violent because you can't say No to "Precious Darling."

OTOH, it's a completely valid parenting approach to offer small children (limited) choices and some (again limited) amount of control over their activities.  You (general) may not like hearing it or find it annoying, but sometimes it is the best way to avoid a fit over going to the potty or to bed or whatever.

And I know I've mentioned before, but some people add "okay?" to the end of a request as verbal short-hand for "do you hear and understand me" not "are you okay with this and if not that's fine too."

gramma dishes

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23307 on: September 06, 2013, 01:30:16 PM »
For some things "choices" are quite appropriate for children, but other things are non-negotiable. 

Would you prefer the red glass or the blue glass?  Would you prefer to color or play with Play-doh?  Blue shirt or green shirt?  Go to the park or play outside on our swing set?  Invite Billy over or Joey instead?

Bedtime?  Nope, not in my house.  We read a story and then took them straight to bed.  No choices at all.  Sane parents make better parents and having to struggle every single night at bedtime would have produced a less than totally sane mommy.  By that time I was quite "done for the day".   ;D

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23308 on: September 06, 2013, 01:50:52 PM »
Some of the parenting examples just given don't qualify for SS, in my book.


It is annoying though when these parents have someone waiting on the child's choices.   If we'd had plenty of time or if it was just her daughter I'd think "Well not the way I'd do it, but hey, whatever floats her boat."

But in this case, she (the cousin in law) knew this was meant to be a quick trip before we hit the road and that we had a long drive ahead of us. 

My youngest is now closing in on two (he was 2 months then) and if no one is waiting on us, I might let him climb the steps to his room for a diaper change rather than carrying him up myself, or let him try to put his own shoes on, or let him do the chest buckle on his car seat.

But if I know someone's waiting on us and they have time constraints?  He gets carried up the steps and I put the shoes on and fasten the buckle.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

MommyPenguin

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23309 on: September 06, 2013, 02:18:21 PM »
I have a 3-year-old (newly 3), and for naptimes, I always do "bumpalumpas."  I carry her up the stairs (pretty much the only time she gets carried nowadays, so it's special) bumping her up and down as we go, saying "bump-a-lump-a-bump-a-lump-a."  For whatever reason, she loves it.  She loves it so much that all I have to do when it's naptime is tell her, moving my arms up a down a bit, "look, the bumpalumpas are starting!"  She runs and jumps to get into my arms because, hey, if she doesn't hurry, the bumpalumpas might go on without her.  It's really cute, and oh-so-convenient.  We do all sorts of little playtime things to get her in bed, like I'll sing "rock a bye baby" acting the song out (blowing on her for "the wind blows" and when the "baby falls" I drop her into her bed so that she bounces a bit).  Makes naptime so much more a game.

I have to admit, though, that I'm guilty of the "okay?" as in, "do you understand and agree to obey?"  The correct response (from the child) is "okay."  If I don't get a response, I'll say, "Okay?" again, until they agree.  I've tried to work on saying "do you understand?" and I do that sometimes, but it's not quite as natural.