Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5554555 times)

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laud_shy_girl

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23520 on: September 13, 2013, 07:03:28 AM »
I remember a while back hearing some sort of child-rearing approach of never teaching a child the word "no".  Instead of "No, you can't have that!" say "That's for another time." or "Why don't we have this instead!"

Instead of "No hitting!",  "Hitting isn't very nice!" I'm not real sure what the big issue is with a child hearing the word "No", I think it was the thought that hearing "No" will "break their spirit."  ::)

I have no problem saying "No" to my boys, especially since a good loud "NO!" can shock a small one into listening a lot faster than trying to rephrase it, especially if you need them to stop right away.

Honestly, based on what I have seen as an educator it doesn't really matter what theory you subscribe to - no matter how crazy it seems to other people - provided you provide;
1. Consistent reasonable limits with consequences that can be easily understood and anticipated by the child. It doesn't matter if you use time out or the naughty step or grounding or whatever as long as the child learns that Action A results in Consequence B.
2. Take a healthy (not obsessive) interest in your child and their education, and
3. Realise that your child is just like all the other children. Sometimes they will be naughty, sometimes they will lie. Do not suspend disbelief just because it is your child.

The actual method of doing these three things really doesn't matter ime. I've seen some whacky parenting in my time and it seems to all come together when done right.

This so much, that I am giving you a standing ovation right now in my living room.
“For too long, we've assumed that there is a single template for human nature, which is why we diagnose most deviations as disorders. But the reality is that there are many different kinds of minds. And that's a very good thing.” - Jonah Lehrer

siamesecat2965

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23521 on: September 13, 2013, 10:05:15 AM »
I remember a while back hearing some sort of child-rearing approach of never teaching a child the word "no".  Instead of "No, you can't have that!" say "That's for another time." or "Why don't we have this instead!"

Instead of "No hitting!",  "Hitting isn't very nice!" I'm not real sure what the big issue is with a child hearing the word "No", I think it was the thought that hearing "No" will "break their spirit."  ::)

I have no problem saying "No" to my boys, especially since a good loud "NO!" can shock a small one into listening a lot faster than trying to rephrase it, especially if you need them to stop right away.

Honestly, based on what I have seen as an educator it doesn't really matter what theory you subscribe to - no matter how crazy it seems to other people - provided you provide;
1. Consistent reasonable limits with consequences that can be easily understood and anticipated by the child. It doesn't matter if you use time out or the naughty step or grounding or whatever as long as the child learns that Action A results in Consequence B.
2. Take a healthy (not obsessive) interest in your child and their education, and
3. Realise that your child is just like all the other children. Sometimes they will be naughty, sometimes they will lie. Do not suspend disbelief just because it is your child.

The actual method of doing these three things really doesn't matter ime. I've seen some whacky parenting in my time and it seems to all come together when done right.

YES! This is pretty much how I was raised. HUGE HUGE POD to #1. How many times do we see kids acting up, and yet still being rewarded for it? Too many. If i misbehaved, there were consequences. Such as the time I was doing something or talking back, I really don't remember, when my grandparents were visiting. We (mom dad, bro and grandparents) were supposed to go to a local circus. Well, guess what? I wasn't allowed to go due to whatever it was I did.  I was upset, cried and carried on, but my mom stayed home with me, while the others went and had fun.

I also was spanked (not beaten), grounded as I got older, and not allowed to go places or do things if I acted up. No exceptions. But I did learn and didn't do the same naughty thing twice, at least not very often!

2littlemonkeys

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23522 on: September 13, 2013, 11:27:08 AM »
Spotted one on the way to drop the kids off at school this morning.

We were driving eastbound.  SS was driving westbound.  That is, until he decided he desperately needed to make a U-Turn right in front of us (all 4 seat belts locked when DH braked to avoid the collision).  The driver then turned into a grocery store parking lot a few yards up.   ::)  All the driver had to do was continue west to the light, turn left and then go into the OTHER grocery lot entrance.

I was telling a CW this story and she suggested perhaps it was undercover cops or something responding to a call.

The car in question was an older sports sedan (it looked like my DH's old Chevy Cavalier), bright white and looked like it had been in more than a few altercations.  So if it's vice, they're doing it wrong or really, really right.   ;D

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23523 on: September 13, 2013, 12:32:40 PM »
From Customers Suck. No language issues in OP.

Forget Bridezilla, I present Momzilla

Customer wants to book every room in a hotel for her daughter's wedding. Unfortunately, 3 rooms are already reserved by other people. Customer demands the phone numbers of those people so she can call them and tell them why they have to cancel their reservations.

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Deetee

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23524 on: September 13, 2013, 12:34:55 PM »
I remember a while back hearing some sort of child-rearing approach of never teaching a child the word "no".  Instead of "No, you can't have that!" say "That's for another time." or "Why don't we have this instead!"

Instead of "No hitting!",  "Hitting isn't very nice!" I'm not real sure what the big issue is with a child hearing the word "No", I think it was the thought that hearing "No" will "break their spirit."  ::)

I have no problem saying "No" to my boys, especially since a good loud "NO!" can shock a small one into listening a lot faster than trying to rephrase it, especially if you need them to stop right away.

Honestly, based on what I have seen as an educator it doesn't really matter what theory you subscribe to - no matter how crazy it seems to other people - provided you provide;
1. Consistent reasonable limits with consequences that can be easily understood and anticipated by the child. It doesn't matter if you use time out or the naughty step or grounding or whatever as long as the child learns that Action A results in Consequence B.
2. Take a healthy (not obsessive) interest in your child and their education, and
3. Realise that your child is just like all the other children. Sometimes they will be naughty, sometimes they will lie. Do not suspend disbelief just because it is your child.

The actual method of doing these three things really doesn't matter ime. I've seen some whacky parenting in my time and it seems to all come together when done right.

I agree just so much. I don't think it matters if it is stickers, high fives, spanks , time outs, new toys, cartoons, later bedtime, earlier bedtime, dinner of only green food, cash, chores or ice cream.

Some of those I would never use but I trust that the witholding or granting of any of those if done consistently, kindly and appropriately would result in appropriate behaviour.


(And maybe I should get my husband to stop threatening "NO stories" if daughter is not cooperative during bedtime. He has never, ever followed through. I threaten "Only one story" (instead of the usual two) and I've only needed to follow through twice. He threatens nuclear options and doesn't follow through-though usually she listens anyhow. I promise small consequences and do it. It drives me batty, but I also firmly subscribe to the "let each parent, parent" )

gramma dishes

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23525 on: September 13, 2013, 12:43:24 PM »
From Customers Suck. No language issues in OP.

Forget Bridezilla, I present Momzilla

Customer wants to book every room in a hotel for her daughter's wedding. Unfortunately, 3 rooms are already reserved by other people. Customer demands the phone numbers of those people so she can call them and tell them why they have to cancel their reservations.

I'll bet a dime to a doughnut that some of the expected guests won't show.  Then she'll want a refund for all those unused rooms that she reserved.  "But ...   but...   why should I pay for rooms that weren't even used?"

Chip2

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23526 on: September 13, 2013, 01:40:35 PM »
I will add all of the parents who took their kids to see Avenue Q - "because it's puppets and Sesame Street and so it's a kids play" - and then wrote letters to the newspapers complaining about the swearing and having to explain to their kids why those two puppets were bouncing on each other and why they were naked. Really? All of the promotion and the warnings and the box off staff saying what a bad idea it is, and yet you think you know better? Okay...

I've notice that there are warnings on all the Avenue Q stuff making it clear that they are NOT affiliated with Jim Henson or Sesame Street at all. How the parent's missed that I, don't know.

A friend was in Avenue Q a couple of years ago and gave us tickets right up front.  There was one kid (5 or 6?) there when we came in.  A few minutes in there were a couple of loud gasps and a commotion - pretty sure it was the kid and parent leaving.

There's a TV Trope for that:  What Do Mean It's Not For Kids?

SSes abound!

Edited to clean up my SSness with the quoting system. :P

« Last Edit: September 13, 2013, 02:18:20 PM by Chip2 »

Elisabunny

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23527 on: September 13, 2013, 03:36:10 PM »
I will add all of the parents who took their kids to see Avenue Q - "because it's puppets and Sesame Street and so it's a kids play" - and then wrote letters to the newspapers complaining about the swearing and having to explain to their kids why those two puppets were bouncing on each other and why they were naked. Really? All of the promotion and the warnings and the box off staff saying what a bad idea it is, and yet you think you know better? Okay...

I've notice that there are warnings on all the Avenue Q stuff making it clear that they are NOT affiliated with Jim Henson or Sesame Street at all. How the parent's missed that I, don't know.

A friend was in Avenue Q a couple of years ago and gave us tickets right up front.  There was one kid (5 or 6?) there when we came in.  A few minutes in there were a couple of loud gasps and a commotion - pretty sure it was the kid and parent leaving.

There's a TV Trope for that:  What Do Mean It's Not For Kids?

SSes abound!

Edited to clean up my SSness with the quoting system. :P

Aaaaannd, there goes my day.  ;D
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Julia Mercer

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23528 on: September 13, 2013, 04:54:47 PM »
There was a big kerfuffle here when Lady Gaga toured. People took their 7 year olds to see her and were shocked - shocked! - that it wasn't a child friendly concert.

Some people really don't see that something my child likes =/= child friendly.

Same here at the casino when Ke$ha played an all ages show!

Winterlight

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23529 on: September 14, 2013, 08:27:47 PM »
https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=aNd2OIO6BLg

These two.

I hope someone kneecapped them.

I am also nominating all the ninnies strolling across busy streets downtown against the light today. There were three separate cases where someone sauntered across the street in front of an oncoming bus- when the bus had the light, and was moving at a solid clip. Amazingly, nobody became paste.
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To whom you speak,
Of whom you speak,
And how, and when, and where.
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Elfmama

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23530 on: September 14, 2013, 10:01:27 PM »
Scene this morning: white van in left-only turn lane.  Us in the middle lane.  Right turn lane. 
We have a red light.  Left lane gets a green arrow to turn left, as does oncoming left lane.  Does the white van turn left?  NO. He flips on his blinker and turns RIGHT, crossing in front of us and almost creaming another car that is making a legal left turn.  ::)  There's an awful lot of times that I wish I was a cop in an unmarked car, and this was one of them.

Or else armed with photon torpedoes. 
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wolfie

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23531 on: September 14, 2013, 10:08:01 PM »
I am going to nominate the person who dumped two kittens at the cat shelter that was on fire earlier in the day. They just walked up and said "oh - these must be yours" and dropped them in the large group of carriers and cages in front of the building. Nope - they were definitely not theirs. But they are now.

TeamBhakta

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23532 on: September 14, 2013, 11:06:45 PM »
There was a reporter on the news with three kids standing close behind her. The SS in the group, a 12 year old boy, started smirking, looking over to someone on the side, leaning forward to mouth swear words behind the reporter's back, rinse and repeat. I assume they were originally going to let the kids be interviewed, but they were gone after a commercial break. 

Jocelyn

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23533 on: September 14, 2013, 11:25:33 PM »
I remember a while back hearing some sort of child-rearing approach of never teaching a child the word "no".  Instead of "No, you can't have that!" say "That's for another time." or "Why don't we have this instead!"

Instead of "No hitting!",  "Hitting isn't very nice!" I'm not real sure what the big issue is with a child hearing the word "No", I think it was the thought that hearing "No" will "break their spirit."  ::)

I have no problem saying "No" to my boys, especially since a good loud "NO!" can shock a small one into listening a lot faster than trying to rephrase it, especially if you need them to stop right away.
I'm not sure if it's what those particular people were thinking, but here's why I would tell parents not to use 'don't' or 'no':
Very young children have difficulties processing negatives. So using 'don't' or 'can't' may confuse a preschooler, and all they hear is the rest of the sentence. 'Don't hit your sister' also leaves the child to wonder what their options are. Can they kick her? Pinch her? Jab her with a stick? It's much smarter to give an authoritative command that is less likely to be misunderstood, such as 'Go sit in that chair, and Sissy, you sit on the sofa.'

faithlessone

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23534 on: September 15, 2013, 08:20:43 AM »
Special Snowflake from Friday that I totally forgot about!!

I'm in the UK. My city has a few one-way streets on the outskirts - not very many, but a few, so you have to be careful sometimes.

I was sat at the end of one of these one-way streets, waiting to turn right and pull onto the main road. A woman in a car came up on the main road and signalled to turn into the street I was on. (The wrong way, obvs.) I was in the right hand lane, so there wasn't room for her to turn. She honked her horn. I rolled down my window and pointed to the No Entry sign. She made a very rude hand-gesture and sat there, signal on, honking the horn.

Luckily, a gap then appeared in the traffic on the other side of the road, so I quickly turned off, and watched as the woman then turned the wrong way down the road and almost collided with another car coming up. Much honking.

I didn't stick around to see what happened next, but goodness! It appalls me that there are some people who believe that the rules of the road just don't apply to them.