Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5555293 times)

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perpetua

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23955 on: October 20, 2013, 06:01:24 AM »
I am nominating the person ahead of me in the left-turn-arrow governed lane earlier today.  The light turned green.  They lurched forward a few feet - so they obviously saw it - and then stopped.  There was nothing in the road that would have caused them to pause.


I honked a lot and they finally moved.


I'm sorry, but I would call you the SS in that situation.  The way you described it, it sounds like they were in a stick.  If they were new to it, or if something was wrong, it's very easy to have it stall after lurching forward a little like that.  You "honking a lot" made it no easier on that driver trying to get going again.  I was always so nervous while learning to drive a stick that I would have a driver react that way to me.  A little patience and giving the other person the benefit of the doubt goes a lot longer than laying on your horn.

Assuming that guess is correct: the only SS in this situation was the person who couldn't drive a manual car properly or safely, yet still thought she was entitled to go out on the road and put other road users at risk because of it.

It absolutely horrifies me that people are allowed out on the road while not in full control of their vehicles. If you don't know how to use the clutch you are not in full control.
I disagree with you on several points. First of all, having problems with your car, does not in any way mean that the person copuld not drive the car properly or safely. stuff happens.

Agreed, problems can happen at any time but the PP specifically said 'if she was new to it' and that's what I was addressing. If you're that new to a manual that you can't drive it without bunny-hopping down the road (the 'lurching forward a few feet' then coming to a sudden halt is a classic symptom of letting the clutch up far too quickly because you don't know how to control it properly and stalling it), then you can't drive it safely and you shouldn't be out in it. Doing so at the inconvenience (and potential safety) of other road users is the definition of an SS in my book.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2013, 06:06:37 AM by perpetua »

mmswm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23956 on: October 20, 2013, 09:20:48 AM »
She does sound like a piece of work, but I can understand the underlying sentiment.  I spent several years in elementary through middle school refusing to wear flattering-looking or even new clothes, because my school was very homogeneous middle class and I, as a doctor's daughter, got quite a few snotty comments about being the "rich girl" from my peers.  This is despite my parents taking a fantastic attitude about money (we never knew how much dad earned, we always had enough for what we needed and a smattering of what we wanted but we were by no means spoiled, and my parents were careful to make sure we learned early on to make purchasing decisions based on quality and usefulness and not advertising/peer pressure/brand names/etc.)  I learned to never talk about money, ever, and to lie about how much things cost sometimes because people would judge me for them if I didn't.  (My sister and I shared a new car in high school, for example - we did get a fantastic price because my grandfather was a VP at GM, so the cost of a new car wasn't that much more than a used car.  We paid for gas, but my parents paid for the car.  I told everyone I was putting part of my summer job money toward the car, because that's what all my friends did . . .)

So yeah, long story short, I'm not trying to apologize for her - but I don't think she should have to defend her financial circumstances, either.  I'll admit I'm not comfortable with the tone of some of the comments here, in the "poor little rich girl" vein - she chose an irritating way to express her opinion, and she may well be spoiled/bratty/etc., but bullying about one's financial situation can go both ways.

I couldn't figure out how to say this myself.  I agree with every word. This woman chose an extremely irritating way to express the thoughts, but I can understand the underlying sentiment. I'm broker than broke now, but my parents are not. I remember being almost embarrassed to bring friends home because of how big/fancy the house is.  Even recently, when my (now ex) boyfriend met my parents for the first time there were issues. He's a solidly blue-collar truck driver, and he took one look at the property, house and the stuff that's in it and had a major attack of insecurity over the difference in what my parents are able to provide and what he'd ever be able to provide. It's not that this kind of stuff makes any difference to me (and honestly, while I love the house, it's a royal pain to take care of because it's just so big).  All I care about is being able to keep a roof over my head and food in the fridge.  It took a while before he understood that. Neither of my parents grew up wealthy.  My mom was a farmer's kid and my dad was an Air Force brat.  Dad is self-made. And the world's biggest cheapskate.  He did splurge on the house, but he drives an 11 year old truck. My mom's washer and dryer are 10 years old.  The dishwasher is broken beyond repair but since it's not a necessity, and he hasn't found a good enough deal on a new one, he won't replace it. He could really use a new lawn mower, but since he can still fix the old one, he won't buy a new one.  He does all the work on his vehicles (a trait he passed to me), and all the repairs on the house.  The only time I've seen him hire somebody to do something was when the 700 foot driveway needed to be repaved.  Anyway, the point is that in spite of the fact that we were raised to not take money for granted, there are still issues that can crop up socially. This woman went about expressing it in all the wrong ways, but the sentiment is still true.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

NyaChan

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23957 on: October 20, 2013, 09:35:32 AM »
I get the sentiment: I had a colleague in law school who was super friendly and nice to me...until he figured out that I wasn't drowning in debt and came to school without a job already lined up.  Then he started associating me with the stupid rich kids who are worthless and lazy - and yes those are the words he used, well, the nicer ones at least. 

Despite running into people like that from time to time, you wouldn't ever find me writing a "Oh poor-not-poor me" piece.  Did it make me feel bad? Yes, because I thought that was a friend.  Other than that, I figure it is up to me to know that I worked hard to get where I am and if the words hit too close to home, maybe it is time to reevaluate how much I am doing for myself. 

Ereine

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23958 on: October 20, 2013, 09:37:45 AM »
I think that there are many sentiments that are true behind special snowflakes and the way they are expressed is what makes someone ss. On the opposite side of the spectrum there might someone who's poor and resents not being able to afford things. That isn't ss until she thinks that it makes her entitled to her relatives' things or something.  Or being frustrated with customer service or hating traffic, it's not really the emotion behind the action that matter, just how it's handled.

Jocelyn

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23959 on: October 20, 2013, 11:37:27 AM »

What an interesting assumption! She assumes that people are looking at her and judging her for being 'a little princess spending Daddy's money', instead of assuming they are looking at her because she is enchanting to look at.


I didn't say she WAS enchanting to look at... but I believe she could assume she is.  >:D

Jocelyn

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23960 on: October 20, 2013, 11:47:15 AM »
Perhaps the blogger has a point...but I was always taught that it was poor manners to talk about having something someone else did not, or could not afford. To expect to be both admired for having things, and pitied for all the trouble having nice things causes, seems to me to be antithetical to the purposes of etiquette.   

mmswm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23961 on: October 20, 2013, 12:00:20 PM »
I get the sentiment: I had a colleague in law school who was super friendly and nice to me...until he figured out that I wasn't drowning in debt and came to school without a job already lined up.  Then he started associating me with the stupid rich kids who are worthless and lazy - and yes those are the words he used, well, the nicer ones at least. 

Despite running into people like that from time to time, you wouldn't ever find me writing a "Oh poor-not-poor me" piece.  Did it make me feel bad? Yes, because I thought that was a friend.  Other than that, I figure it is up to me to know that I worked hard to get where I am and if the words hit too close to home, maybe it is time to reevaluate how much I am doing for myself.

I got a little of that attitude as well when I was in grad school.  Never mind the reason I wasn't drowning in debt is because I worked my behind off to get straight A's in high school and participate and do well in a number of extracurricular activities, so I got my tuition paid for by a merit scholarship, and that I worked as a waitress to pay my bills during undergrad so I wouldn't have to take loans (this my father insisted on), but since I had no undergrad debt I must be a spoiled brat.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23962 on: October 20, 2013, 12:31:43 PM »
Wonder if she realizes her look is about 20 years old...

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_10aFhip_TXQ/SmiFfbDpzkI/AAAAAAAAAk4/pwP2ehCnu2k/s1600-h/Babysitters+Club.jpg

When I see girls wearing pantyhose under shorts, I think of this.

Almost forty years old - I did it in college...although not with black tights...black opaque hose were not that fashionable in Texas back then, not even in winter...
« Last Edit: October 20, 2013, 04:19:36 PM by VorFemme »
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Miss Tickle

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23963 on: October 20, 2013, 01:23:31 PM »
It's not about her money it's about her narcissism. Someone should have told her: “You wouldn't worry so much about what others think of you if you realized how seldom they do.”

She didn't say (or even imply) these women said anything to, or even about her, she just assumed she could tell what (and who) they were thinking about. It really says a lot about her internal dialogue. It seems that all the attention paid to her up to now has been of the "oh, you're so special! We just love you and every thing about you!" variety and now she's just another person in the grocery store, so her ego needs to reframe the situation from "I'm nobody." to "They're all jealous of my (daddy's) money!"

I'm sure she'll look back at her twenties with at least a little embarrassment, if only having to explain to her children the "solo scrabble" article. Or not.

Aunt4God

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23964 on: October 20, 2013, 03:33:41 PM »
I am nominating the person ahead of me in the left-turn-arrow governed lane earlier today.  The light turned green.  They lurched forward a few feet - so they obviously saw it - and then stopped.  There was nothing in the road that would have caused them to pause.


I honked a lot and they finally moved.


I'm sorry, but I would call you the SS in that situation.  The way you described it, it sounds like they were in a stick.  If they were new to it, or if something was wrong, it's very easy to have it stall after lurching forward a little like that.  You "honking a lot" made it no easier on that driver trying to get going again.  I was always so nervous while learning to drive a stick that I would have a driver react that way to me.  A little patience and giving the other person the benefit of the doubt goes a lot longer than laying on your horn.

Assuming that guess is correct: the only SS in this situation was the person who couldn't drive a manual car properly or safely, yet still thought she was entitled to go out on the road and put other road users at risk because of it.

It absolutely horrifies me that people are allowed out on the road while not in full control of their vehicles. If you don't know how to use the clutch you are not in full control.
I disagree with you on several points. First of all, having problems with your car, does not in any way mean that the person copuld not drive the car properly or safely. stuff happens.

Second of all OP was SS for honkin a lot. Honking, when not to prevent an immediat danger (and in case of imediate danger you usualy do not have the time and reactionspeed to honk) or a modest honk for a person stopped at a green light, is unnecesary and SS. I am personaly of the opinion that the horn is one of the most useless and most abused features on cars.

I had, in fact, previously pointed out that it was highly unlikely that the person was having "problems with their car," as far as stalling due to not knowing how to drive a manual, as it was fairly obvious that they deliberately braked rather than stalled, especially since they were driving a vehicle that does not come with a manual transmission option.

The traffic signal in question is fairly short - so a "lot" of honking was maybe 10-15 seconds of me tapping the horn repeatedly, rather than laying on it - I don't use my horn very frequently, so perhaps my standards for "honking a lot" are a bit different than what people think when they read that.

The time to make a decision about which way you are traveling is prior to entering the turn lane, not after you've sat through a cycle of the light and started moving forward on the green arrow.  The decision to allow your own poor planning or lack of information to impede the flow of traffic is SS.  They had moved forward enough to not just impede the flow of the turn lane, but also enough to be sticking out into the crossing lane of traffic.  It is fairly within the bounds of etiquette for using the horn to apply it in the fashion that I did - to get a single driver to move on their traffic signal.

Please note the bolded part.  The way you first described it, it sounded like a problem with a stick.  No matter how much you drive a stick, there are still times that you stall, or have a "duh" moment.  I'd also like to point out that there still could have been a mechanical problem that made her brake like that.  S/he could have also been a new driver and wasn't confident about something.  It happens, and it's something that we need to keep in mind about the people around us.  Just because you personally have never had to do that or had it happen to you doesn't mean that it didn't happen to that driver just then.  I still say honking the horn wouldn't have helped anything, especially if it's a newer driver that's panicing about making the right decision on what to do. 

For those saying you shouldn't drive a stick on the roads until you're completely ready, that's not possible.  There are things that you can never "practice" for until you're on the road and in the situation.  I practiced and practiced with my dad in the local elementary school's parking lot, but still had problems on the roads until I got the feeling for it.  Even then, I still had my "duh" moments that wouldn't have happened with that earlier practicing. 

perpetua

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23965 on: October 20, 2013, 04:17:23 PM »
Snipping the quote tree:


For those saying you shouldn't drive a stick on the roads until you're completely ready, that's not possible.  There are things that you can never "practice" for until you're on the road and in the situation.  I practiced and practiced with my dad in the local elementary school's parking lot, but still had problems on the roads until I got the feeling for it. 

Such as? Yes, of course, new drivers might have duh moments, but by and large you (general) should be competent enough at the point where you pass your test to handle your car properly on the road in all kinds of conditions and situations. (However, as I'm discovering on the other thread, all driving tests are not created equal.)

Of course, if your sole practice with a manual car is with a parent in a parking lot, you're going to have issues when you get onto the road totally unprepared. If, on the other hand, you take lessons with a qualified instructor and then take a test to show you're competent to drive it, perhaps not so much.

The system seems to be what's at fault here: not training drivers properly in the first place.

Jones

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23966 on: October 20, 2013, 04:22:24 PM »
Snipping the quote tree:


For those saying you shouldn't drive a stick on the roads until you're completely ready, that's not possible.  There are things that you can never "practice" for until you're on the road and in the situation.  I practiced and practiced with my dad in the local elementary school's parking lot, but still had problems on the roads until I got the feeling for it. 

Such as? Yes, of course, new drivers might have duh moments, but by and large you (general) should be competent enough at the point where you pass your test to handle your car properly on the road in all kinds of conditions and situations. (However, as I'm discovering on the other thread, all driving tests are not created equal.)

Of course, if your sole practice with a manual car is with a parent in a parking lot, you're going to have issues when you get onto the road totally unprepared. If, on the other hand, you take lessons with a qualified instructor and then take a test to show you're competent to drive it, perhaps not so much.

The system seems to be what's at fault here: not training drivers properly in the first place.
Trainers in my area ride in the vehicle with the learner, on the regular roads. New drivers have to have 30 daylight hours (on roads) and 10 nighttime hours (again, regular roads), with a parent or instructor, before they are allowed to take their test. My instructor hours when I passed my test? 4. The rest was parental.

Jules1980

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23967 on: October 20, 2013, 05:32:06 PM »
I didn't quite believe it, but I grasped onto that explanation for all it was worth because it was less scary than the bloody alternative. Years later, I appreciate the fact that the parents and sister tried to give me some other image to put in my head, rather than scary werewolves.  And they didn't make me feel bad for being scared.

I watched Poltergeist with some older cousins and my older siblings when I was 5 or so.  Three of the older cousins were teens and when it looked like I was getting too scared, they'd make some silly crack about what was happening.  To this day, I laugh about that movie.  When the blood run down the walls, one cousin said it was red paint and it was easier to paint the walls by pouring it down from the ceiling.  When the little girl got sucked into the tv, they said that's why you never sit close to the tv.  ETC.  So, long story short, what could have been traumatizing to me turned into one of my favorite memories of them.

Poppea

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23968 on: October 20, 2013, 06:22:04 PM »
Perhaps the blogger has a point...but I was always taught that it was poor manners to talk about having something someone else did not, or could not afford. To expect to be both admired for having things, and pitied for all the trouble having nice things causes, seems to me to be antithetical to the purposes of etiquette.

I think the blogger expressed herself poorly, but I remember clearly a girl in my dorm making nasty remarks about clothes I wore that were expensive.  "[b]How much did that cost?[/i][/b]" she sneered at me.  "Oh not that much" I replied.  "Really?  I think XX is a lot of money!![/b]".   I was raised to NEVER talk about things you owned or what things cost, so this was all on her.

My crime was wearing a new and expensive (to her) outfit to the cafeteria.  I declined to explain to her that I had paid for all my own clothes since high school.  It was none of her business.  She knew what my father was a doctor (I was premed at the time and had mentioned that I worked in his office over vacations) and therefore I was a spoilt little rich girl and should be made to feel badly.  I just thought she was a moron and wondered how she would ever be able to live a middle class life with that attitude. 
« Last Edit: October 20, 2013, 06:24:59 PM by Poppea »

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23969 on: October 20, 2013, 06:40:27 PM »
And honestly...who cares? Are peoples lives that uninteresting that they're upset with how they think people think about them? I wish I had that few problems.