Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 4435494 times)

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sevenday

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24135 on: October 30, 2013, 02:42:49 PM »
I have had a few SS salespeople.  One guy came up behind me in a mall as I was walking, head down a bit looking at my cell phone trying to figure out where X store was to buy a specific present for someone. I'm a surgical-strike kind of person.  I know what I want, how much it'll be, in and out and gone to the next place.  I also don't go to malls until I have at least a few places to stop so - I have a plan.  This guy comes up behind me, grabs my elbow- nearly made me drop my phone - and when I whipped around, he says, "Since you refuse to say hello, the least you can do is come over and look at my lotions! You could really use some!"  I came very, very close to hitting him, and I could certainly make an argument for legally being able to do so.  Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Let go!"  (He didn't, and I followed up with this, in the middle of which he did let go): "I am going to file a complaint against you for grabbing my arm like that.  You never, ever touch a person without their explicit permission.  I didn't hear you trying to flag me down.  I'm deaf.  I HOPE you get fired."   For the record, I know I was abrupt and rude in saying what I said, but I was a bit frightened and angry. I did follow that up with a prompt visit to the mall security office, where I filed a complaint against that guy.   The security officer told me that the mall has at least one complaint a week about someone (not just that stall) grabbing or otherwise stopping guests. 

Another time a woman came up to me with a perfume bottle and proceeded to spray me in the face with it, twittering on about how it was a lovely seasonal scent and I'd be the hit of the party, blah blah.  I honestly don't know what else she was saying, because I was too busy pawing at my face.  I'm allergic to something that's in a lot of perfumes, and I was having a reaction.  I didn't speak to her then, but after washing my face in a bathroom, I did file a complaint against her with mall security, then to the company itself.  Never really heard back from the company other than a form letter. 

When I do visit malls, I just keep my gaze forward (or to the sides, looking at shops) - Since I'm deaf, I really don't always know if people try to flag me down.  Once in a while I'll have someone move toward me a bit, but I just sidestep them and keep going.  I don't feel like it's rude to ignore them.  If anything, a simple head shake should be enough to get them to DROP IT and move on to someone else.  I get that sometimes customers can be convinced to buy, but I would think a salesperson would be more willing to expend time and energy on a more likely customer - i.e. someone that walks up to the stall on their own to browse.

Shalamar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24136 on: October 30, 2013, 03:04:38 PM »
WOW, Sevenday.  That's unbelievable.  I don't think you were rude at all, by the way.  I'd be frightened and angry if someone grabbed my arm that way.

While we're (sort of) on the subject of people not understanding personal space, I'd like to nominate the person standing behind me at an intersection today.  I was waiting for the light to change so I could cross.  I suddenly became aware of someone RIGHT behind me (if I'd stepped backwards even a little bit, I would've stepped on his foot).  Thinking it was someone I knew (I know several people who'd think it was funny to get right up in my grill that way), I whipped my head around - only to be staring right into the eyes of a complete stranger (who, it must be said, looked just as startled as I felt).


Black Delphinium

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24137 on: October 30, 2013, 03:07:11 PM »
I've seen the other side of that- where I used to work we had a lovely deaf lady on staff. Customers who come up and compain about her sometimes- "I tried to get that lady to help me and she ignored me!"

"Did she look like (described co-worker)."

"Yes!"

"Oh, she's deaf, if she can't see you, she won't notice you trying to flag her down."

The looks people would get when they realized were priceless.
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GlitterIsMyDrug

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24138 on: October 30, 2013, 03:21:01 PM »
I've seen the other side of that- where I used to work we had a lovely deaf lady on staff. Customers who come up and compain about her sometimes- "I tried to get that lady to help me and she ignored me!"

"Did she look like (described co-worker)."

"Yes!"

"Oh, she's deaf, if she can't see you, she won't notice you trying to flag her down."

The looks people would get when they realized were priceless.

This just reminded me of something I didn't even realize I do until Partner pointed it out to me! I have two friends who are deaf (one only in one ear but her hearing in the other isn't so great), because of being around them whenever I'm trying to get someone's attention, I try to walk into their line of vision rather then just coming up behind them or hollaring at them.

Eastsider

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24139 on: October 30, 2013, 03:37:24 PM »
The mall kiosk stories reminded me of one that sells hair products.  The saleperson yelled to me " Do you ever style your hair?"   Insulting my hair is not the best way to get me to stop and buy your products.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24140 on: October 30, 2013, 05:21:12 PM »
I have had a few SS salespeople.  One guy came up behind me in a mall as I was walking, head down a bit looking at my cell phone trying to figure out where X store was to buy a specific present for someone. I'm a surgical-strike kind of person.  I know what I want, how much it'll be, in and out and gone to the next place.  I also don't go to malls until I have at least a few places to stop so - I have a plan.  This guy comes up behind me, grabs my elbow- nearly made me drop my phone - and when I whipped around, he says, "Since you refuse to say hello, the least you can do is come over and look at my lotions! You could really use some!"  I came very, very close to hitting him, and I could certainly make an argument for legally being able to do so.  Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Let go!"  (He didn't, and I followed up with this, in the middle of which he did let go): "I am going to file a complaint against you for grabbing my arm like that.  You never, ever touch a person without their explicit permission.  I didn't hear you trying to flag me down.  I'm deaf.  I HOPE you get fired."   For the record, I know I was abrupt and rude in saying what I said, but I was a bit frightened and angry. I did follow that up with a prompt visit to the mall security office, where I filed a complaint against that guy.   The security officer told me that the mall has at least one complaint a week about someone (not just that stall) grabbing or otherwise stopping guests. 

Another time a woman came up to me with a perfume bottle and proceeded to spray me in the face with it, twittering on about how it was a lovely seasonal scent and I'd be the hit of the party, blah blah.  I honestly don't know what else she was saying, because I was too busy pawing at my face.  I'm allergic to something that's in a lot of perfumes, and I was having a reaction.  I didn't speak to her then, but after washing my face in a bathroom, I did file a complaint against her with mall security, then to the company itself.  Never really heard back from the company other than a form letter. 

Wow.  Someone grabbing my arm and refusing to let go?  I'd be calling the cops.  I'd consider calling the cops on the perfume lady, too.  If mall security or their employers won't do anything, I'm sure an assault and battery charge would smarten them right up in a hurry.
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sevenday

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24141 on: October 30, 2013, 09:04:05 PM »
For those talking about getting the attention of deaf people - waving your hand or stepping into the line of vision is a good way to politely 'interrupt' a conversation or to get attention.  Stomping on the floor is useful too... unless you're on concrete.   When I worked in a deli (more "behind the scenes" than front work) my supervisor got a few complaints from other people about how I was ignoring them.  That stopped as soon as she pointed out that I'm deaf and they need to change how they get my attention.  One guy took to sliding the little metal mixing bowls down the length of the stainless steel workbench.  Before I left that job, we were talking about getting a sort of pager system set up for the occasions when customers needed my attention on the other side of the wall (out of line of vision).   

The real problem is just that it's just not a visible issue, compared to say, a broken leg.  (I recently got silver aids with purple ear molds.  People STILL fail to see them!)

gramma dishes

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24142 on: October 30, 2013, 09:09:44 PM »
...   (I recently got silver aids with purple ear molds.  People STILL fail to see them!)

No doubt people think they're some new fancy schmanzy kind of ear phones for your iPod or something!  They think you're listening to music instead of paying attention to them!   :D

amyg

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24143 on: October 30, 2013, 09:34:08 PM »
For those talking about getting the attention of deaf people - waving your hand or stepping into the line of vision is a good way to politely 'interrupt' a conversation or to get attention.  Stomping on the floor is useful too... unless you're on concrete.   When I worked in a deli (more "behind the scenes" than front work) my supervisor got a few complaints from other people about how I was ignoring them.  That stopped as soon as she pointed out that I'm deaf and they need to change how they get my attention.  One guy took to sliding the little metal mixing bowls down the length of the stainless steel workbench.  Before I left that job, we were talking about getting a sort of pager system set up for the occasions when customers needed my attention on the other side of the wall (out of line of vision).   

The real problem is just that it's just not a visible issue, compared to say, a broken leg.  (I recently got silver aids with purple ear molds.  People STILL fail to see them!)

There's a cheesemonger at Murray's Cheese in NYC who's hearing impaired. He wears a giant button on his back that says that he's hearing impaired, and that unless you're in his line of sight, he's not going to be able to understand your request.

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24144 on: October 30, 2013, 10:10:14 PM »
I remember there was a hearing impaired checkout operator where I used to live. I loved going in her line, she was so lovely. She had a large sign saying she was hearing impaired, she would point to the total in the screen.

magician5

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24145 on: October 30, 2013, 11:07:08 PM »
Well, when house hunting, we did happen to come across one house with a shower and toilet in a den, and the real estate agent explained that the seller's wife had been very depressed and didn't want to leave that room so they put in some plumbing so she could at least maintain some personal hygiene.

Like....just out in the open? Would it have been easy to build walls around it to make a real bathroom?

Well I guess, but they were pretty much in the open.  It's been years since then but I think there were at least doors separating this room from the rest of the house, but other than a shower curtain, there really wasn't much to divide the utilities from the rest of the room.

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TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24146 on: October 31, 2013, 12:21:52 AM »
I've seen the other side of that- where I used to work we had a lovely deaf lady on staff. Customers who come up and compain about her sometimes- "I tried to get that lady to help me and she ignored me!"

"Did she look like (described co-worker)."

"Yes!"

"Oh, she's deaf, if she can't see you, she won't notice you trying to flag her down."

The looks people would get when they realized were priceless.

This just reminded me of something I didn't even realize I do until Partner pointed it out to me! I have two friends who are deaf (one only in one ear but her hearing in the other isn't so great), because of being around them whenever I'm trying to get someone's attention, I try to walk into their line of vision rather then just coming up behind them or hollaring at them.

Honestly, I think that's more polite anyway.

Dindrane

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24147 on: October 31, 2013, 12:34:18 AM »
Even people who have perfect hearing can be absorbed in what they are doing, and be startled by someone calling their name from right behind them.

I have this problem pretty regularly at work, since I work in a very open-concept office. My cube walls are only about chest-height, so people regularly approach me from behind. I also actively work to tune people out when I'm trying to focus, because there's a lot of background noise most of the time (and I'd never get anything done otherwise). So combine those two things, and I can get very startled when someone calls my name before walking into my field of vision.

In my case, I have no trouble hearing, but the sounds aren't registering as information I need to pay attention to (especially since the sound of footsteps behind me more often than not means someone is walking past my desk, rather than needing to talk to me).


TeamBhakta

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24148 on: October 31, 2013, 01:25:34 AM »
A very stupid snowflake took a flying run from the local hs into bumper to bumper traffic on the main road. He's very lucky nobody's car killed him :o It's especially messed up because recently *death warning* a student a few miles away had been hit by two different cars, in an area where students often unsafely ran into the streets

Minmom3

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24149 on: October 31, 2013, 01:52:47 AM »
I hope the mods will allow a very brief off-topic detour. On the matter of IKEA, I would like to know why you can't turn around and go back the way you came. It sounds like you can't but I cannot figure out why. What's stopping you? (I've never been in one.)

You can, and I do so frequently.  I've either lost something that isn't where it used to be, or I haven't come to it, or something back earlier would go really well (maybe) with an item I JUST saw, and I need to check.  I frequently make short cuts (they're all flagged with signs), and go against the flow.  I pick my day and time of day to go there, though, and I don't rudely crash into people when I'm going against the arrows on the floor and the general mass of people.  IKEA is a great store for certain things, and it's very much a maze.  And fun.  I like the stores a lot, but I avoid them like the plague on the weekends.  I go to the one in Palo Alto, California, and it's a zoo quite frequently.  But then, so is Walmart, and so is Costco, and so is my local supermarket.  Timing and patience are key ingredients!   ;)
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