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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6623465 times)

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Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24330 on: November 09, 2013, 10:14:32 AM »
get invalid request on the link , but is it the basketball game with an extra...character?

A remake of it, yes.

Jocelyn

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24331 on: November 09, 2013, 11:18:16 AM »
When I was taken by ambulance (although not full lights/sirens), my husband actually got there first. :-)
I beat LifeFlight to the city.  ::) The pilot shook his finger at me and said, 'You were SPEEDING!'
Actually, what happened was that I left the hospital and drove straight to the hospital in the city, while the helicopter was somewhat delayed in taking off. So as I was parking my car, I could hear the helicopter (I used to live on the descent path into a major medical center, and developed a Radar O'Reilly like sensitivity to the sound of choppers). I went around to the landing pad, and learned a lesson about why the medical people stay inside until the rotors stop- it is amazing how much debris a landing chopper will kick up, and it does not feel good to be sandblasted. The medical folks waiting inside opened the door and pulled me in. :) I already knew about waiting til the rotors stop, because sometimes they will get wobbly as they're slowing down, and even running towards the chopper in a crouch, like you see on TV, will not save you if a blade suddenly drops a couple of feet. I was astounded how much sand and grit could be on the landing pad- I could see them sanding it in winter, but this was July.

CharlieBraun

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24332 on: November 09, 2013, 12:09:29 PM »
Once when showing a school available for rent to the NYC Dept of Education, I ran across the specialist snowflake of the day.

There was a little-used roadway between the school location and the apartment building across the street; when school was in session, the street was closed completely and after school hours, barricades narrowed it to one lane and the speed limit kept at 20 mph.

SS and her SS sister and her SS niece were in a very expensive SUV which came whipping 'round the corner and accelerated well past 20 mph.  Careening, the SUV leapt the curb and smacked headlong into the wrought iron gates which delineated the school yard to a height of about a story and a half.  The fence and gate were deeply embedded in the concrete of the yard, and had stood there since about 1911.

SUV driver got out of the car, her sister got out of the car, and the niece got out of the car.  All came over screaming at us that "it wasn't their fault  - that we had (wait for it) moved the street and gates so that they blocked her vehicle.  (Liberally laced with profanity.  Yes.  All of them, cursing like sailors, including the nine-year-old.)

When I said that they would have to stay and wait for the police to come (non-emergency, Queens, could be a while,) the nine-year-old sneered "what are you, a lawyer?"  "No, but I am," said our counsel, who was on this site tour with me.  "So am I," said the attorney for NYC's Department of Ed, who was also on the site visit.  All told, we had twenty people who were standing within 20 years of this occurrence, all of whom were either with the Department of Ed or with us as the property owners.

After 40 minutes of variously cursing, calling their husbands and having the husband demand that we "release" them, having them accuse us of holding them up for money, and other invectives and epithets, the driver suddenly remembered that the reason she was speeding home was that she had left her baby home alone, just a little baby, almost new, and that her husband would be mad if the baby were alone for so long and that she wasn't allowed to go out shopping which is what she was doing and that he was going to beat her now.

Department of Ed = mandatory child neglect and abuse reporters.  Out came the cell phones to report an abandoned child at  the address of the registered driver of the SUV (we had also asked for driver's licenses and photographed them with our cell phones as well as having the license number of the SUV which we provided to the police dispatcher.)

When the police finally arrived (another unit having gone to the house to check on the "baby",) we gave them our business cards and left, while our attorney stayed behind.  As we were all calling out farewells to each other as we streamed back to our cars or to the subway, the 9-year-old started screaming "They are leaving the scene of the accident!  We get to leave!  We demand to be free!"  The cop looked at the girl's mother and suggested that she get a refund for the tuition for the law school where the girl went.  Then pointed out to the driver that generally, there are two participants in an accident and that the wrought iron fence wasn't going anywhere.

I'd forgotten that story.
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squeakers

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24333 on: November 09, 2013, 12:17:58 PM »
get invalid request on the link , but is it the basketball game with an extra...character?

A remake of it, yes.

There's a TV show called Perception and they touch on this as a whole episode.
"I feel sarcasm is the lowest form of wit." "It is so low, in fact, that Miss Manners feels sure you would not want to resort to it yourself, even in your own defense. We do not believe in retaliatory rudeness." Judith Martin

VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24334 on: November 09, 2013, 01:22:02 PM »
Once when showing a school available for rent to the NYC Dept of Education, I ran across the specialist snowflake of the day.

There was a little-used roadway between the school location and the apartment building across the street; when school was in session, the street was closed completely and after school hours, barricades narrowed it to one lane and the speed limit kept at 20 mph.

SS and her SS sister and her SS niece were in a very expensive SUV which came whipping 'round the corner and accelerated well past 20 mph.  Careening, the SUV leapt the curb and smacked headlong into the wrought iron gates which delineated the school yard to a height of about a story and a half.  The fence and gate were deeply embedded in the concrete of the yard, and had stood there since about 1911.

SUV driver got out of the car, her sister got out of the car, and the niece got out of the car.  All came over screaming at us that "it wasn't their fault  - that we had (wait for it) moved the street and gates so that they blocked her vehicle.  (Liberally laced with profanity.  Yes.  All of them, cursing like sailors, including the nine-year-old.)

When I said that they would have to stay and wait for the police to come (non-emergency, Queens, could be a while,) the nine-year-old sneered "what are you, a lawyer?"  "No, but I am," said our counsel, who was on this site tour with me.  "So am I," said the attorney for NYC's Department of Ed, who was also on the site visit.  All told, we had twenty people who were standing within 20 years of this occurrence, all of whom were either with the Department of Ed or with us as the property owners.

After 40 minutes of variously cursing, calling their husbands and having the husband demand that we "release" them, having them accuse us of holding them up for money, and other invectives and epithets, the driver suddenly remembered that the reason she was speeding home was that she had left her baby home alone, just a little baby, almost new, and that her husband would be mad if the baby were alone for so long and that she wasn't allowed to go out shopping which is what she was doing and that he was going to beat her now.

Department of Ed = mandatory child neglect and abuse reporters.  Out came the cell phones to report an abandoned child at  the address of the registered driver of the SUV (we had also asked for driver's licenses and photographed them with our cell phones as well as having the license number of the SUV which we provided to the police dispatcher.)

When the police finally arrived (another unit having gone to the house to check on the "baby",) we gave them our business cards and left, while our attorney stayed behind.  As we were all calling out farewells to each other as we streamed back to our cars or to the subway, the 9-year-old started screaming "They are leaving the scene of the accident!  We get to leave!  We demand to be free!"  The cop looked at the girl's mother and suggested that she get a refund for the tuition for the law school where the girl went.  Then pointed out to the driver that generally, there are two participants in an accident and that the wrought iron fence wasn't going anywhere.

I'd forgotten that story.


Words fail me.

Snarky and Evil are laughing their (whatever body part you want to name) off, though.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

Nikko-chan

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24335 on: November 09, 2013, 02:05:16 PM »
Oh my goodness.... I am with VorFemme.  laughing so hard I can't breathe.

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24336 on: November 09, 2013, 02:47:40 PM »
Our notorious neighbors have left. As in they were living there Friday, and they were gone Monday. They did not notify the management, left broken windows and a ton of garbage behind. Biggest problem? We have had rain nearly every day this week and there are broken windows on the third floor of that unit. I called management yesterday to make sure they knew to keep more water from getting into the town house.

I know they took the puppy with them, and that is all I know.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24337 on: November 09, 2013, 03:29:05 PM »
Our notorious neighbors have left. As in they were living there Friday, and they were gone Monday. They did not notify the management, left broken windows and a ton of garbage behind. Biggest problem? We have had rain nearly every day this week and there are broken windows on the third floor of that unit. I called management yesterday to make sure they knew to keep more water from getting into the town house.

I know they took the puppy with them, and that is all I know.

You might want to use the M-word.  The idea of black mold tends to get people moving pretty quickly
Maryland

Ceallach

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24338 on: November 09, 2013, 04:41:34 PM »
Once when showing a school available for rent to the NYC Dept of Education, I ran across the specialist snowflake of the day.

There was a little-used roadway between the school location and the apartment building across the street; when school was in session, the street was closed completely and after school hours, barricades narrowed it to one lane and the speed limit kept at 20 mph.

SS and her SS sister and her SS niece were in a very expensive SUV which came whipping 'round the corner and accelerated well past 20 mph.  Careening, the SUV leapt the curb and smacked headlong into the wrought iron gates which delineated the school yard to a height of about a story and a half.  The fence and gate were deeply embedded in the concrete of the yard, and had stood there since about 1911.

SUV driver got out of the car, her sister got out of the car, and the niece got out of the car.  All came over screaming at us that "it wasn't their fault  - that we had (wait for it) moved the street and gates so that they blocked her vehicle.  (Liberally laced with profanity.  Yes.  All of them, cursing like sailors, including the nine-year-old.)

When I said that they would have to stay and wait for the police to come (non-emergency, Queens, could be a while,) the nine-year-old sneered "what are you, a lawyer?"  "No, but I am," said our counsel, who was on this site tour with me.  "So am I," said the attorney for NYC's Department of Ed, who was also on the site visit.  All told, we had twenty people who were standing within 20 years of this occurrence, all of whom were either with the Department of Ed or with us as the property owners.

After 40 minutes of variously cursing, calling their husbands and having the husband demand that we "release" them, having them accuse us of holding them up for money, and other invectives and epithets, the driver suddenly remembered that the reason she was speeding home was that she had left her baby home alone, just a little baby, almost new, and that her husband would be mad if the baby were alone for so long and that she wasn't allowed to go out shopping which is what she was doing and that he was going to beat her now.

Department of Ed = mandatory child neglect and abuse reporters.  Out came the cell phones to report an abandoned child at  the address of the registered driver of the SUV (we had also asked for driver's licenses and photographed them with our cell phones as well as having the license number of the SUV which we provided to the police dispatcher.)

When the police finally arrived (another unit having gone to the house to check on the "baby",) we gave them our business cards and left, while our attorney stayed behind.  As we were all calling out farewells to each other as we streamed back to our cars or to the subway, the 9-year-old started screaming "They are leaving the scene of the accident!  We get to leave!  We demand to be free!"  The cop looked at the girl's mother and suggested that she get a refund for the tuition for the law school where the girl went.  Then pointed out to the driver that generally, there are two participants in an accident and that the wrought iron fence wasn't going anywhere.

I'd forgotten that story.

I love this story, thanks for sharing!
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Thipu1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24339 on: November 09, 2013, 06:43:00 PM »
Oh my goodness.... I am with VorFemme.  laughing so hard I can't breathe.

I agree.  That story almost made me laugh off the back of my lap.

However, I do have a serious question.  Was there a baby at home?

VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24340 on: November 09, 2013, 07:16:41 PM »
Oh my goodness.... I am with VorFemme.  laughing so hard I can't breathe.

I agree.  That story almost made me laugh off the back of my lap.

However, I do have a serious question.  Was there a baby at home?

Snarky & Evil will give you pretty good odds that there wasn't.  They do tend to the cynical...
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I explain?

Nikko-chan

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24341 on: November 09, 2013, 08:32:26 PM »
Oh my goodness.... I am with VorFemme.  laughing so hard I can't breathe.

I agree.  That story almost made me laugh off the back of my lap.

However, I do have a serious question.  Was there a baby at home?

Snarky & Evil will give you pretty good odds that there wasn't.  They do tend to the cynical...

I'm with Snarky and Evil!

magician5

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24342 on: November 10, 2013, 01:10:50 AM »
A GOOD SS:

I just came out of 4 days in hospital. A systemic infection had made me weak and seriously clouded my mind. Between those problems and those awful hospital beds (they only fold where people don't bend) and strange surroundings, I couldn't even get out of bed by myself.

My neighbor was a 91-year-old Hispanic man who was determined to do exactly as he pleased. He'd get up and wander the halls on unsteady feet, which sent the staff scurrying to bring him back. Then, as soon as they got him back in bed, and they left, he'd take another trip, which started the commotion again. Not good for my sleep. He'd leave the TV on all night on the most horrid cable channel (I learned all about "as seen on TV" products, sleazy lawyers, televangelists and celebrity gossip) but thankfully, being mostly deaf, he didn't turn the sound on.

Sadly, bilingual people were not common on the staff. We all (staff and I) agreed that most of his restlessness came from being incredibly bored and also not entirely sure why he was there. I helped with a little Spanish (a little is all I have), and that resulted in his being provided a good chair so he could sit out in the hall watching the passing people. He finally got some sleep in the chair, I finally got another chair and sat in the hall too so I could get some sleep (studying ceiling tiles is BORING!) and I opined that when I get to 91, with my personality and stubbornness, I'm likely to be just like him.

He was annoying, but he made my stay tolerable.
« Last Edit: November 10, 2013, 01:16:12 AM by magician5 »
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greencat

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24343 on: November 10, 2013, 11:28:38 AM »
Parking garage SS:

I was waiting behind another car, who was waiting for the vehicle in front of them to move.  I saw the reverse lights of the vehicle on the rear passenger side of the car ahead of me come on - there was about 3 feet between the back of their parked car and the side of the trunk of the car ahead of me.  The car in the parking spot started to move back.  I honked when they got about a foot and a half from the car behind them.  They stopped.  They started backing up again.  I honked when they were 8" or so from the car ahead of me.  They stopped.  They started moving again.  They were about 3" away from the car ahead of me and I laid on my horn.  They stopped.  They then backed up again - into the other car.  I saw the car in front of me jiggle a little bit, and as the car backing out of the parking spot stopped and pulled forward at that point, they clearly knew their backward progress had been impeded.  The drivers of both cars got out, and started talking.  As expected, the driver of the car ahead of me came around to my window, and told me:

"The guy claims that he didn't hit me!  That he didn't feel anything!"

My gasted was flabbered.

TeamBhakta

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24344 on: November 10, 2013, 08:03:09 PM »
I had a lovely scare at work today. I was sitting outside eating lunch. SS decided to walk into traffic holding her kid's hand and talking on a cellphone, without checking for cars. Someone in a pickup truck had to slam on their brakes to avoid hitting SS. SS marched to the passenger side window, waved her arms around, pressed her face against the glass and yelled "WHAT THE HELL! WHY DON'T YOU LOOK WHERE YOU GOING! YOU ALMOST RAN ME OVER, FEMALE DOG! *to phone* Hold on a second, I'm gonna have to set down the phone down SO I CAN SHOOT THIS LADY!"  :o The pickup driver wisely drove away from the crazy lady. SS marched down the sidewalk yelling into her phone "What the hell is wrong with that female dog! She almost ran me over with her truck! Who does she think she is, barreling through the parking lot! Don't she see I'm a pedestrian trying to cross! And hello, can't she see I'm trying to have a conversation on my phone! I shouldn't have to watch out for her crazy a_s driving *turns to kid* Oh, I'm sorry,honey, that you almost got ran over by that lady who don't know how to drive."  I was going to call 911 if she'd actually pulled out a gun.
« Last Edit: November 10, 2013, 08:05:41 PM by TeamBhakta »