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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6627813 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25440 on: February 10, 2014, 08:28:47 PM »
***snip***
I think the problem here is that it was after two dates, and it sounded like it was basically a short email to say "I enjoyed my time with you."  If he'd said, "I really like your hair, your smile, the way you talk, your intelligence, how creative you seem to be, and our conversation," it just gets to be a bit much and might come across as creepy.  Honestly I don't think people should be talking about smell quite so soon in a relationship, though.  I think that remarking on somebody's smell is a bit intimate and should be something reserved for later, once a solid relationship is established.


This is true as well.  An ex-friend from college was one of those types that come on way too strong and tend to jump into the emotional intimacy way too soon. In hindsight I'd say it was a lot of red flags.  So if someone did start praising all those qualities I'd be warning a gal to be cautious as ot would sound insincere or trying to hard to appear like Mr. Right.

So yeah best thing he could have said? "You looked great, enjoyed our conversation." Bit in all truth, if she didn't like him she'd dismiss him no matter what he did.
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RooRoo

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25441 on: February 11, 2014, 12:21:08 AM »
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"You looked beautiful last night," it said. "I love your smile, your hair, the way you smell." I had deliberately worn jeans and a plain sweater. My hair might have looked okay -- not a rat's nest, anyway. I wore no perfume.
I'm with her. What he wrote was over the top. It sets off my BS detector. Note that she dressed down, on purpose; she was not dressed for flirtation, but for conversation.

Yes, back in my college days there were guys who said stuff like that. Guess what they were interested in? Hint: it had nothing to do with my major, my job, or my hobbies.

Piratelvr has it right:
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best thing he could have said? "You looked great, enjoyed our conversation."
…though he by no means wished to accept the invitation, he had not yet acquired the necessary power of decidedly saying No.
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TeamBhakta

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25442 on: February 11, 2014, 12:42:18 AM »
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I'm with her. What he wrote was over the top. It sets off my BS detector. Note that she dressed down, on purpose; she was not dressed for flirtation, but for conversation.

I honestly would not guess, even though I'm a female, that a date choosing a sweater and jeans combo signals "I only seek a conversation. I am not going to flirt with you." 

MariaE

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25443 on: February 11, 2014, 01:37:07 AM »
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I'm with her. What he wrote was over the top. It sets off my BS detector. Note that she dressed down, on purpose; she was not dressed for flirtation, but for conversation.

I honestly would not guess, even though I'm a female, that a date choosing a sweater and jeans combo signals "I only seek a conversation. I am not going to flirt with you."

Female here, and I honestly think I look better in jeans and a nice sweater than in most anything else.

Just because he complimented her looks doesn't mean he didn't appreciate their conversation as well. He might have mentioned what he thought she'd appreciate the most. Sounds to me like she took his comment and turned it around and inside out in order to interpret it in the worst possible way. Don't blame him for not replying - he dodged a bullet there. Most of the people commenting there seem to think the same thing.
 
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Dindrane

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25444 on: February 11, 2014, 08:40:51 AM »
Since this is from an article that was actually published (albeit on the internet), I suspect that whoever wrote it is taking a more strident tone than she'd be inclined to in real life (or with something that has her name attached).

I also think that if her date had already given her a lot of verbal compliments on her appearance, getting an email that focused yet again on her appearance and physical traits would not have felt much like genuine interest in her as a whole person. I can see why something like that would be frustrating and would spawn an internet article.

And in the context of figuring out whether or not she wants to date this guy, I wouldn't have responded the way she did, but I don't know that she was necessarily out of line to try and see if he did have anything else to say about her, since I imagine the answer (had he answered) would have influenced whether she was willing to pursue the relationship or not.

So I'm definitely not convinced that this is an example of special snowflake behavior, and to be honest, I'm not entirely convinced it's rude (rather than just blunt and potentially abrasive). I think whether or not it's rude depends very much on the other interactions, that weren't described. It's nothing that I would say, but I don't think that alone makes it rude.


VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25445 on: February 11, 2014, 10:03:19 AM »
I do agree that the "tone" of their in-person interaction is probably a big part of her reaction to the "tone" of the email.

But we weren't there to see or hear what happened in the first two dates while they were getting to know each other....
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Coralreef

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25446 on: February 11, 2014, 10:07:12 AM »
Then again, some people are never satisfied because it's not the "right" compliment.  I've met both men and women who just would not be happy whatever you said or how you said it.  It was like extreme compliment fishing.


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pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25447 on: February 11, 2014, 10:27:45 AM »
Then again, some people are never satisfied because it's not the "right" compliment.  I've met both men and women who just would not be happy whatever you said or how you said it.  It was like extreme compliment fishing.

Ooh, I think I saw that on ESPN.
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SCMagnolia

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25448 on: February 11, 2014, 10:32:27 AM »
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Ooh, I think I saw that on ESPN.

LOL!!!!!  That is AWESOME!!!   ;D ;D ;D ;D

CharlieBraun

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25449 on: February 11, 2014, 12:55:33 PM »
At the grocery store:

B/g - my grocery chain has recognized that the deli counter is a real source of delay in the shopping experience, and has taken some great steps to alleviate it.  The first is pre-ordering on-line; another option that they have is the wandering staffer with an Ipad, taking orders from people wandering the aisles and giving them a pickup number and time so they can continue shopping.   Important note:  you don't pay when you pre-order, you pay at the same time you go through checkout with all your other grocery items.  end b/g

I used the on-line pre-order from my house on Sunday.  I chose and ordered my meat & cheese, sliced, and picked the time to come collect it at the bin next to the deli counter.  I threaded my way through the six-deep mass of humans crowded around the deli counter, all politely yet impatiently clutching their little number slips.  I reached the pre-order bin, and started checking the five packages in the leftmost slot, all of which had my name on it.  One woman came charging up to me, and said "WHAT? are you DOING!?"  Completely startled, I said "picking up my order?"  "How do YOU know it's YOURS?" - this was said while taking a step closer to me.  "Well, my name is on there," I said, waving the cheddar cheese, extra sharp, 1/3 lb, sliced medium (because cheddar is brittle and it breaks at the "thin" setting.)

"HOW DO WE" (accompanied by a wave toward the throng at the deli) "know that's YOU?"  Generally, I'm not at a loss for words, but...this time I was.

"Um....you don't."  I tossed the packages in my basket, waved at the "throng" that she'd gestured toward, and headed over to the fish counter.

I....still don't know what happened.  But I was forced to buy three boxes of Girl Scout cookies to calm myself.
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TeamBhakta

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25450 on: February 11, 2014, 12:59:45 PM »
Evil me would've taken a page from one of George Lopez's skits: "Sabes que, that's mine. I hid that cheese in the back of the bin just for me *licks slice of cheese* You wanna take it ? Didn't think so"  >:D

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25451 on: February 11, 2014, 01:22:45 PM »
There is a meeting I attend that involves people of different levels from all our locations. Some of the people who attend like to have a chair to sit their purses in. It becomes a problem when we do not have enough space in the room for the people and the purses to sit side by side.

Today, as usual, there was some sighing and rearranging every time someone came in. Someone even used one of the conference table chairs (rolling) to place their bags in, then pushed it against the wall, instead of using a side chair (fixed) that was behind them. We had someone with no chair because of that.

I find the purse chair proclivity SS when there is obviously not enough space for every single person to have an accessory chair. What do you think?

Coralreef

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25452 on: February 11, 2014, 01:26:26 PM »
There is a meeting I attend that involves people of different levels from all our locations. Some of the people who attend like to have a chair to sit their purses in. It becomes a problem when we do not have enough space in the room for the people and the purses to sit side by side.

Today, as usual, there was some sighing and rearranging every time someone came in. Someone even used one of the conference table chairs (rolling) to place their bags in, then pushed it against the wall, instead of using a side chair (fixed) that was behind them. We had someone with no chair because of that.

I find the purse chair proclivity SS when there is obviously not enough space for every single person to have an accessory chair. What do you think?

If there are extra chairs, purses and coats can be stored on it.  Not enough chairs means purses and coats are hanged on the back of the chair I'm using.  People have priority over objects, unless it's a cooler with an organ for transplant.

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TeamBhakta

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25453 on: February 11, 2014, 01:33:13 PM »
There is a meeting I attend that involves people of different levels from all our locations. Some of the people who attend like to have a chair to sit their purses in. It becomes a problem when we do not have enough space in the room for the people and the purses to sit side by side.

Today, as usual, there was some sighing and rearranging every time someone came in.

It was behavior like that made me stop attending a particular local church years ago. Especially when two girls trotted over to me one day and said snottily "Those are our seats. We had our purses under them earlier." Said purses were under their arms, btw, not actually under the chair.

Delete My Account

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #25454 on: February 11, 2014, 01:40:42 PM »
There is a meeting I attend that involves people of different levels from all our locations. Some of the people who attend like to have a chair to sit their purses in. It becomes a problem when we do not have enough space in the room for the people and the purses to sit side by side.

Today, as usual, there was some sighing and rearranging every time someone came in. Someone even used one of the conference table chairs (rolling) to place their bags in, then pushed it against the wall, instead of using a side chair (fixed) that was behind them. We had someone with no chair because of that.

I find the purse chair proclivity SS when there is obviously not enough space for every single person to have an accessory chair. What do you think?

Totally SS. I hate when this happens on public transportation, particularly when people act all put out because their need to set their baggage on the seat beside them trumps your right to sit down.