Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5281466 times)

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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26070 on: March 29, 2014, 07:40:28 AM »
I understand what kherbert is saying though, as I've seen that kind of thing too, and it's one reason I prefer to avoid Walmart as much as possible because it seems to attract that kind of behavior.  Heck, I'll admit when we go to Walmart, my older two seem to misbehave more than usual (by misbehave I mean horsing around in the aisles, not watching where they're going, that kind of thing) and I think there must be something about the store itself.

And I have seen the kind of parenting she is referring to.  Kids running about while mom or dad sits and says "come back here..." without any authority in their voice.  Or "Stop that" in the same tone of voice as Gene Wilder's Wonka "No, stop, come back" while focusing on their own thing.

Though I do agree that if the one parent was at least making her child sit, she wasn't doing too badly as a parent.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Jocelyn

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26071 on: March 29, 2014, 11:42:07 AM »
When I was an undergrad, there were 2 bookstores - one for texts and office supplies, the other a mainstream bookstore selling a wide variety of books. Just inside the door of that bookstore, there were cubbyholes into which you were to put your backpack. The cashiers faced the cubbyholes, but with the counter between them and the cubbies, so even if they noticed someone up to no good, there was nothing they could do but shout, and the thief would be out the door and into the stairwell. Just outside the store, though, were little lockers where you put in a quarter, and got a key, and the quarter was returned to you when you put the key in the lock. I could NEVER understand why people would prefer to use the cubbies over the lockers! But nearly always, there were empty lockers available.

Dindrane

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26072 on: March 29, 2014, 12:36:24 PM »
I was reminded the other day that not all things that are extremely, gratingly annoying are special snowflakery or even rude. I use my department's break room for lunch most days, as do many other people. I tend to eat later than most, so I've gotten kind of used to being in there by myself (or mostly by myself). However, there are sometimes other people in there, and they sometimes like to chat to each other. I usually read.

So the other day, I was trying to read, and there were a couple of people sitting at the table behind me and talking. One of them happens to have a voice that carries extremely well, and she can get kind of loud without realizing it. Even though I like this person a lot, her conversation was making it impossible for me to focus on what I was reading, because it was just the conversational equivalent of piercing. It grated on my very last nerve. I would have finished my lunch break elsewhere if I'd been done eating, but it wasn't practical.

But the thing is, even though I was seriously frustrated with the situation, she wasn't a special snowflake. She wasn't even rude. Her conversation was taking place in an appropriate location, and while she was talking loud enough that I couldn't ignore her, it wasn't loud enough to be rude. In the end, no matter how annoying I found it, it was my problem.

I think that's the type of thing Bexx27 meant when she said that sometimes "it's just life." Sometimes people do things which are genuinely extremely annoying, but not actually rude. It happens when you have to interact with others, and it especially happens when your location is only sort of chosen by you (like waiting for tires to be changed or sitting in the office breakroom on your lunch break).

I do agree that parents not actually trying to parent (even if they seem to be going through the motions) are being inconsiderate to others around them. But I don't think that parents whose children are misbehaving are automatically in that category. Sometimes children don't behave, even if you're the best parent in the world. Everybody has off days, and kids tend to act out when they're having one. Parents should do everything in their power to limit the impact of that on others, but sometimes "everything in their power" is not going to prevent others from witnessing annoyingly bad behavior.


Yarnspinner

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26073 on: March 29, 2014, 01:16:49 PM »
Okay, so a special interest group is using one of our public rooms for a meeting.  Obviously, I will not print the real name (I doubt they are well known outside of this town, but you never know) but it is similar to "Ladies With Manners".  Let's just say that that ship has sailed.

During our lunch break one of them banged on the door of our staff room.  (Which has an access code)  My coworker jumped up and asked "Can I help you?"

She stood there a while and then shrugged and let the door shut.

"I asked if I could help her" she said "and she whipped out her cell phone and started talking to someone on the other end and stood there staring at me the whole time without answering.  Then all of a sudden she just walked away.   I don't get THAT much time for lunch."

Turns out the Ladies couldn't figure out that they were supposed to be in the room they had just passed  with the sign that read "Ladies With Manners."

Bexx27

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26074 on: March 29, 2014, 04:59:04 PM »
I was reminded the other day that not all things that are extremely, gratingly annoying are special snowflakery or even rude. I use my department's break room for lunch most days, as do many other people. I tend to eat later than most, so I've gotten kind of used to being in there by myself (or mostly by myself). However, there are sometimes other people in there, and they sometimes like to chat to each other. I usually read.

So the other day, I was trying to read, and there were a couple of people sitting at the table behind me and talking. One of them happens to have a voice that carries extremely well, and she can get kind of loud without realizing it. Even though I like this person a lot, her conversation was making it impossible for me to focus on what I was reading, because it was just the conversational equivalent of piercing. It grated on my very last nerve. I would have finished my lunch break elsewhere if I'd been done eating, but it wasn't practical.

But the thing is, even though I was seriously frustrated with the situation, she wasn't a special snowflake. She wasn't even rude. Her conversation was taking place in an appropriate location, and while she was talking loud enough that I couldn't ignore her, it wasn't loud enough to be rude. In the end, no matter how annoying I found it, it was my problem.

I think that's the type of thing Bexx27 meant when she said that sometimes "it's just life." Sometimes people do things which are genuinely extremely annoying, but not actually rude. It happens when you have to interact with others, and it especially happens when your location is only sort of chosen by you (like waiting for tires to be changed or sitting in the office breakroom on your lunch break).

I do agree that parents not actually trying to parent (even if they seem to be going through the motions) are being inconsiderate to others around them. But I don't think that parents whose children are misbehaving are automatically in that category. Sometimes children don't behave, even if you're the best parent in the world. Everybody has off days, and kids tend to act out when they're having one. Parents should do everything in their power to limit the impact of that on others, but sometimes "everything in their power" is not going to prevent others from witnessing annoyingly bad behavior.

Thank you for explaining what I meant better than I could.  :)
How far you go in life depends on your being tender with the young, compassionate with the aged, sympathetic with the striving and tolerant of the weak and strong. Because someday in life you will have been all of these. -George Washington Carver

cattlekid

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26075 on: March 29, 2014, 05:29:39 PM »
My roommate learned the hard way about the cubbies outside the bookstore.  She put her backpack in the cubby like everyone else and someone stole one of her textbooks out of it.  The thief wasn't too bright because he sold the book back to the bookstore for cash before the final exam for that class.  It was the capstone class for that major and the final exam hadn't happened yet.  It was easy enough to report the theft and for the campus police to go to the bookstore and get the information about the ONE individual who sold that book back to the bookstore already.

The Special Snowflake twist to this story was that the thief came to our dorm and spoke to our RA asking to be allowed to speak to my roommate.  Apparently, the thief didn't want my roommate to press charges.  He was trying to scrape together the cash for the dues for his fraternity, which is why he had taken to stealing books, and apparently that was a perfectly legitimate reason to do what he did (at least in his mind) AND my roommate should have to sit and listen to his apology.  Well, she was under too much stress with everything going on with the flurry of last minute work for the semester to put up with this so I ended up telling the RA exactly how wrong he was for even thinking that this was a good idea and she did end up pressing charges on this individual. 

When I was an undergrad, there were 2 bookstores - one for texts and office supplies, the other a mainstream bookstore selling a wide variety of books. Just inside the door of that bookstore, there were cubbyholes into which you were to put your backpack. The cashiers faced the cubbyholes, but with the counter between them and the cubbies, so even if they noticed someone up to no good, there was nothing they could do but shout, and the thief would be out the door and into the stairwell. Just outside the store, though, were little lockers where you put in a quarter, and got a key, and the quarter was returned to you when you put the key in the lock. I could NEVER understand why people would prefer to use the cubbies over the lockers! But nearly always, there were empty lockers available.

Jocelyn

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26076 on: March 29, 2014, 05:59:19 PM »
Cattlekid,
I had the same thing happen! But my book was stolen from a ladies' room, and then resold to the bookstore. I found it in the pile of returned books and they gave it back to me, disgruntled. I realize there wasn't a practical way to tell if the name in a book was that of a former owner or the current owner, but I didn't care- I hadn't had my final exam yet, and I needed the book! :)

Mediancat

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26077 on: March 31, 2014, 08:07:27 AM »
Were they disgruntled AT YOU or at the situation? Because blaming you would be dumb.

Rob
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cattlekid

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26078 on: March 31, 2014, 12:13:15 PM »
DH and I encountered a whole birthday party full of Special Snowflakes yesterday.  We were at a place that has bowling and bocce, as well as a restaurant and a bar.  We had a reservation for bowling and an early dinner to be eaten at the bowling lane. 

Everything was fine until a large party showed up for their reservation at the lanes next to us.  There were approximately 10 children, most of whom appeared to be under the age of five, even a couple of really little ones who were just toddling around.  It appeared that all of the parents/guardians were there as well.

Chaos ensued.  The children were allowed to "bowl" at will - they were taking our 13-16 pound bowling balls and trying to push them down the lanes.  They were walking all over the lanes and there were a couple of times that they walked directly in front of us as we were on the approach.  At some point, I feared that someone was going to get hurt. 

After several minutes, it was clear that the parents were not going to keep their kids out of harm's way.  It was unclear who belonged to who as far as parents/kids and also who was in charge of the party, so we went straight to the manager.  There were no other lanes open so we could not be moved but they did put up a rope (think like in an airport) between our lane and theirs and they spoke to the parents.  Of course, that didn't work too well as the kids just ducked under the rope and the parents remained unconcerned.

I shudder to think what would have happened if DH or I would have actually knocked down one of their kids as we aren't used to bowling with a swarm of small children to watch for.

StuffedGrapeLeaves

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26079 on: March 31, 2014, 12:58:09 PM »
Not to mention with young ones who have short attention spans, you could bring something with you, they might play with it for a few minutes or look at pictures if they're not good readers yet, and get tired and restless if the trip goes longer than expected.

I had to take my youngest with me to get a window replaced on our van a couple months ago, as the back window had broken. I brought along a small toy that did make noise but it wasn't loud and you can actually control the volume.  I also brought a book with a few Thomas the Tank engine stories and some snacks.  We were there for about an hour and he barely touched the toy, let me read him two of the 5 minute stories but the rest of the time he wanted to wander around the lobby, run behind the desk, drink from the fountain, try and get into the bathrooms, pull flowers off the potted plant (I have to admit he got one but it at least was already dying).

So even well prepared moms can have a hard time if the child has a lot of energy but a short attention span.

This has happened to me, too.  DS was two when I had an emergency on the road and had to take the car to an auto repair shop right away.  It was supposed to be just a quick trip to the supermarket.   I had some toys in the car, but in my frazzled state due to the emergency I left them in the car.  By the time I realized they were not with me, it was too late to get them from the car that was getting repaired.  I had a couple of small toys in my purse but it was not enough to keep him occupied the entire time.  There was definitely a lot of "DS, stop running and sit here with me," or "DS, stop touching that!"

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26080 on: March 31, 2014, 01:34:28 PM »
With the bowling, man that would make me mad as well to see behavior like that!  DH used to bowl in leagues, and would like to still but for his schedule making it tough to do so.  His mother taught him to bowl when he was young and as part of that, also taught him lane etiquette.  For instance, if the person in the lane right next to you is approaching, you wait till they're done and released the ball before you make your approach.

Letting kids run amock is quite rude, IMO, when it could lead to injury to the child or another bowler.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

snowfire

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26081 on: March 31, 2014, 09:49:16 PM »
Our gym has two main sets of locker rooms.  One is adults 19 and over only.  The other is a general locker room. There are signs on the door of this set that an adult with a child of opposite gender over the age of 5 should use the special locker rooms.  There was a woman with a young boy, approximately 9-10 years old in the women's locker room.  Kid was looking all around and making a lot of women very uncomfortable.

Another woman told her she should not have her child in the main locker room.  SS said that she couldn't let pwecious go in the men's locker room alone & there was no reason not to have him in there.  First woman pointed out that there were big HONKIN' RED signs on the door of the locker room with the policy stated & that son was making everyone very uncomfortable.  SS claimed she hadn't seen the signs....

I can understand being uncomfortable sending your kid alone into a locker room, but there are separate rooms for just that purpose.  Don't give everyone else the willies by dragging your child where he shouldn't be.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26082 on: April 01, 2014, 12:14:28 AM »
Our gym has two main sets of locker rooms.  One is adults 19 and over only.  The other is a general locker room. There are signs on the door of this set that an adult with a child of opposite gender over the age of 5 should use the special locker rooms.  There was a woman with a young boy, approximately 9-10 years old in the women's locker room.  Kid was looking all around and making a lot of women very uncomfortable.

Another woman told her she should not have her child in the main locker room.  SS said that she couldn't let pwecious go in the men's locker room alone & there was no reason not to have him in there.  First woman pointed out that there were big HONKIN' RED signs on the door of the locker room with the policy stated & that son was making everyone very uncomfortable.  SS claimed she hadn't seen the signs....

I can understand being uncomfortable sending your kid alone into a locker room, but there are separate rooms for just that purpose.  Don't give everyone else the willies by dragging your child where he shouldn't be.

My local YMCA has the same type of locker room set up.  The staff there have no problem with telling parents like this that they need to use the family locker room and not the adult room. 

I don't know if they actually followed through, but when they opened up the family locker room, they made it clear in the email that they would be willing to cancel memberships if there were multiple complaints. 

Shalamar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26083 on: April 01, 2014, 11:10:13 AM »
That reminds me of when my daughter was a baby, and I wanted to use the "family bathroom" at our local mall.  This was a large room with the usual bathroom stuff (toilet and sink) as well as a changing table and a chair for breastfeeding.  As it so happened, I needed all of it.  Trouble was, the room was occupied.  I waited for a good ten minutes for the people inside to be done, but I didn't really mind, because I know how long it takes to deal with babies and small children ...

... except that, when the door opened, one person emerged.  A man, who had no children with him.  I stared at him in disbelief and he gave me an insolent "What are YOU looking at?" expression.

alkira6

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26084 on: April 01, 2014, 12:04:24 PM »
One from my husband:

He works at Starbucks and he was called over to the drive through to run money on a woman's loyalty card.  She was buying a drink and wanted the card run for the drink first and then money added. No problem.  He runs the card for her drink, adds the $50 she handed him to her card, gives her both receipts, all is well. 

Not quite.

This woman could not understand why she had two receipts and refused to understand that two transactions generate two receipts.  She accused them of stealing her money.  No amount of math or explanations would satisfy her.  She parked her car in the drive through during morning rush and refused to move.  She blocked in everyone behind her.  After 15 minutes my DH said that he was tired of being nice and comping drinks for the people stranded behind her and he called the police.  She finally moved when she saw the car come up.

By call the police I mean he sent someone to the hospital next door to get one f the cops who is always in their parking lot for some reason.  they came right over.