Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5511950 times)

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bloo

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26175 on: April 04, 2014, 10:11:59 PM »
Well one thing I've noticed is that parents who know when it's time to cut the cord and accept their children are grown and will have lives and families of their own are the parents who end up having good, healthy relationships with their children.

ITA.

I admit to being envious of people who have this relationship with their parents as mine were the sort who seemed afraid to let go and clung too tightly.

Clearly you are breaking that cycle and creating that envious situation for your own children. You will be the coolest MIL.  :)

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26176 on: April 04, 2014, 10:15:27 PM »
Well one thing I've noticed is that parents who know when it's time to cut the cord and accept their children are grown and will have lives and families of their own are the parents who end up having good, healthy relationships with their children.

ITA.

I admit to being envious of people who have this relationship with their parents as mine were the sort who seemed afraid to let go and clung too tightly.

Clearly you are breaking that cycle and creating that envious situation for your own children. You will be the coolest MIL.  :)

AWWW!! *BLUSH!!* Thank you, I'm trying!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26177 on: April 04, 2014, 10:29:42 PM »
So, I have a story that I'm not sure is SS.  You can tell me what you think.  There's a park right behind my house where my kids play all the time.  Just a little neighborhood park.  One of the houses next to the park is a man (and his wife) and some dogs.  My kids were playing at the park yesterday (I was in the yard gardening), and I overheard him telling them that his dog had a trick.  He then had his dog run up the stairs to the top of the playground equipment, then slide down the slide.  He had the dog do this a number of times.  I was outside gardening for much of the day, so I heard him take his dog to the park several times over the course of the day, always doing this trick.  Fortunately my two who were at the playground at the time weren't afraid of dogs, and my scared-of-dogs child just stayed in our backyard watching until he left with the dog. 

I don't *imagine* that the dog would have pooped on the equipment, as he was just running up and then immediately going down the slide.  So I'm not sure if there's any real harm in it?  Or is it just my rule-following nature that says the playground is for kids and dogs shouldn't be climbing on it.  Of course, I'm also that parent who won't let my kids climb up the slide unless there aren't any other kids anywhere nearby, so I'm a bit of a stick-in-the-mud.

The dog's not likelier to be any dirtier/germier than the kids who play there.  As long as the dog isn't causing any problems, preventing kids from playing on the equipment, and isn't misbehaving, I wouldn't have any issue with it.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26178 on: April 04, 2014, 10:35:17 PM »
Our city park has rules against dogs  being in the part of the park where there are playgrounds yet for a while there were a lot of folks bringing their small dogs through.  It seems like to some "Small dog=not a dog at all" so the rules therefore don't apply.

But in the case of that one dog going down the slide, it doesn't seem like a huge deal.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

SheltieMom

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26179 on: April 04, 2014, 10:52:03 PM »
I used to have a dog (Chinese Pug) who would get in line at the slide, climb up, slide down, and go get in line again. He taught himself to do it, and the kids loved it!
If Timmy had had a Sheltie, he never would have fallen in that well!

Elfmama

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26180 on: April 04, 2014, 11:15:38 PM »

I remember talking to my MIL about this sort of thing, though I don't recall if it was before or after DH and I started having children...we may have discussed it both times.  Anyway, MIL was very much of the opinion that the goal of raising children was so that when they turn 18 they should be able to take care of themselves.  If they chose not to listen...well at least you can say you tried.

I had a neighbor who seemed astounded by me teaching my sons to cook and do laundry and she did both for her sons. Mind you one was a toddler but the other is a couple years older than my oldest child. 
Your neighbor is raising children.  Your MIL and you were/are raising future adults. 
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oz diva

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26181 on: April 04, 2014, 11:24:08 PM »
I mentioned our jam stall on the craft freebies thread.

We also had a few snowflakes, like the grumpy woman who comes in looking for crabapple jelly every year. And grumbles because we never have it. They're not a very popular tree anymore and you can't buy them in shops. When she went on and on about it, I told her she could provide the fruit for us next year and we'd make the jelly. "But where could I find it?" she complained. "Yes", I said, "see, that's the problem". I expected to see her later in the day looking for bargains, she's done that before, but I expect she went home, unhappy.

Some people asked about blackberry or blueberry jam which we didn't have, but they didn't argue the toss. It's not a shop.

On a side note, it's nice to hear people say our raspberry jam is the nicest they've ever tasted. I had some of my plum and strawberry jam yesterday and it was pretty delicious.  :P

Victoria

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26182 on: April 05, 2014, 12:11:29 AM »

So, I have a story that I'm not sure is SS.  You can tell me what you think.  There's a park right behind my house where my kids play all the time.  Just a little neighborhood park.  One of the houses next to the park is a man (and his wife) and some dogs.  My kids were playing at the park yesterday (I was in the yard gardening), and I overheard him telling them that his dog had a trick.  He then had his dog run up the stairs to the top of the playground equipment, then slide down the slide.  He had the dog do this a number of times.  I was outside gardening for much of the day, so I heard him take his dog to the park several times over the course of the day, always doing this trick.  Fortunately my two who were at the playground at the time weren't afraid of dogs, and my scared-of-dogs child just stayed in our backyard watching until he left with the dog. 

I don't *imagine* that the dog would have pooped on the equipment, as he was just running up and then immediately going down the slide.  So I'm not sure if there's any real harm in it?  Or is it just my rule-following nature that says the playground is for kids and dogs shouldn't be climbing on it.  Of course, I'm also that parent who won't let my kids climb up the slide unless there aren't any other kids anywhere nearby, so I'm a bit of a stick-in-the-mud.

Unless the local laws state no dogs at the park, I don't see a problem.  From your post, the dog wasn't bothering anyone, and it isn't likely to be any worse or any better (grossness-wise) than any kid playing in the park, touching everything, including the dirt, that every other kid has touched.
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JenJay

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26183 on: April 05, 2014, 12:14:14 AM »
I don't think the dog was being a SS unless he wasn't taking turns. If all the kids were expected to stand there and be amazed while the dog went down the slide repeatedly that would be rude. Unless they were loving it and encouraging him to go again and again.

pearls n purls

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26184 on: April 05, 2014, 05:01:44 AM »
I was in a restroom at a tourist site, and there were probably at least 15 stalls. The restroom was practically empty.
Someone entered the restroom, passed a few empty stalls and kicked open the door of the stall I was in.  No checking to see if anyone was in there, and she kicked it hard enough to break the latch.  Who does that?

Nikko-chan

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26185 on: April 05, 2014, 07:32:31 AM »
I was in a restroom at a tourist site, and there were probably at least 15 stalls. The restroom was practically empty.
Someone entered the restroom, passed a few empty stalls and kicked open the door of the stall I was in.  No checking to see if anyone was in there, and she kicked it hard enough to break the latch.  Who does that?

 ??? I have no words for this one. I just.... why? *shakes head* did she at least retreat once she realized there was someone in the stall?

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26186 on: April 05, 2014, 07:51:21 AM »
Wow...yeah, I've got nothing either...
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

siamesecat2965

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26187 on: April 05, 2014, 08:57:54 AM »
I may just do that!

I remember when my boys were younger DH sometimes would talk about what we'd do when they moved out, as we had the elder two at 22 and 23 respectively (they're 18 months apart) so when they did reach 18 and went off on their own, even if they waited a couple years we'd still be relatively young empty nesters.  Course this was before Littlest Pirate came along but even still we'll be in our 50's which leaves a good amount of time to do our own thing provided we keep ourselves healthy and fit.

Anyway, my mom used to say, aghast "What's the point of having kids if you're looking forward to getting rid of them?"  I remember thinking "What's wrong with having a healthy acceptance of the fact that we will one day be empty nesters?"  We know they're not going to live with us forever and it's not like we're going to be booting them out the minute they turn 18, for crying out loud.  We're not looking forward to getting rid of them but we're not going to be hanging onto them, either.

I think you both have a healthy mindset, especially because DH & I share it!  ;D

We moved to an area of large, very enmeshed families that go way back. We, ourselves, are rather transitory and so were our parents. DH & I are already laying plans for when the youngest moves out (we still have both - they're 18 & 16). We were together first and when the kids are gone, we'll just have each other.

I can't quite comprehend seeing some of my friends that appear to fall apart emotionally at the thought that their kids are doing the normal things that people do: moving out, getting married, moving away, having kids, etc. My parents always had the attitude of 'we love you and hope that works out for you' whenever we had a life change. They also supported us emotionally from a distance and took pains to visit us wherever we lived.

Some friends of ours married off their two sons in the last year. One of them stayed in their area and the other moved to my area, 30 minutes away. 1.5 years later the other son and his wife are moving to our area. The wife is crying all the time. They're 30 minutes away. I'm sympathetic but I cannot empathize.

My DH's parents are similar in that they are not enmeshed with us but that's because they could give a rat's behind about us. I will say that for all my MIL's faults, she's always respected our decisions as being ours to make.

And seeing some of my friends actually...handicap their kids so that they can't/won't move out...well, words fail me.

I've had several people tell me I will completely change my mind about the chicks leaving the nest whenever I discuss the experiences and adventures I'm encouraging my kids to pursue. I just smile and say 'okay' but I really believe, in my heart that I won't. Because I simply wasn't raised that way. I want my kids to travel, meet new people, experience new things. And then call and visit to the extent they are able and tell me all about it! The best chance for them to be able to stand on their feet and be contributing members of society is if we work hard to make them that way.

Edited: clarity

 I've mentioned this before, but after college I moved back home and worked. And stayed until I was 30. But...I paid rent and other stuff and helped out. And was fully capable of cleaning, doing my own laundry, etc. my first apt was only 5 mins from my parents, but it just happened that way. Second one was 25 mins and I had a friend ask me why I was moving soooo far away! Next one was 45 mins...hehe and then my parents had the NERVE to move 400 miles away.

Which is fine except for the time to get there. But I know people my own age, and parents who cannot bear to be more than 10 minutes or so from their parents, kids etc. like the world will end, and they also can't understand anyone who doesn't live on top of their families. Me, I need space. My mom, who will be 80 next year and I joke while we can live next door to each other, we cannot live in the same house

goldilocks

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26188 on: April 06, 2014, 11:45:13 PM »
for those of you looking forward to being empty nesters - a little advice.

As soon as the last kid moves out - sell the house and buy a 1 bedroom condo.  With no guest room.  No room to put an air mattress on the floor.  Make sure the yard is not big enough to pitch a tent.

My last one moved out and 2 months later the oldest one was back.   Wish I'd followed my own advice.

kherbert05

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26189 on: April 07, 2014, 12:25:32 AM »
I'm going to nominate my new neighbors. Their backyard faces my left side yard (they face on a different street).

They are into soccer. They have a soccer field in their back yard goals, chalk lines. They have put up trellises on the end of the soccer field that boarder the street to stop soccer balls from going over. They haven't put them up on my end. My windows get hit with wild balls a couple times a day on the weekends. They like playing at night. They light up their yard like a stadium the lights come right in my windows that side of the house. They have a ref with a whistle. They stopped playing at Midnight last night - after jarring me out of a deep sleep with a combo whistle, ball hitting my window, and loud argument. I'm going to start calling the cops on the games.
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