Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5299842 times)

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siamesecat2965

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26190 on: April 05, 2014, 08:57:54 AM »
I may just do that!

I remember when my boys were younger DH sometimes would talk about what we'd do when they moved out, as we had the elder two at 22 and 23 respectively (they're 18 months apart) so when they did reach 18 and went off on their own, even if they waited a couple years we'd still be relatively young empty nesters.  Course this was before Littlest Pirate came along but even still we'll be in our 50's which leaves a good amount of time to do our own thing provided we keep ourselves healthy and fit.

Anyway, my mom used to say, aghast "What's the point of having kids if you're looking forward to getting rid of them?"  I remember thinking "What's wrong with having a healthy acceptance of the fact that we will one day be empty nesters?"  We know they're not going to live with us forever and it's not like we're going to be booting them out the minute they turn 18, for crying out loud.  We're not looking forward to getting rid of them but we're not going to be hanging onto them, either.

I think you both have a healthy mindset, especially because DH & I share it!  ;D

We moved to an area of large, very enmeshed families that go way back. We, ourselves, are rather transitory and so were our parents. DH & I are already laying plans for when the youngest moves out (we still have both - they're 18 & 16). We were together first and when the kids are gone, we'll just have each other.

I can't quite comprehend seeing some of my friends that appear to fall apart emotionally at the thought that their kids are doing the normal things that people do: moving out, getting married, moving away, having kids, etc. My parents always had the attitude of 'we love you and hope that works out for you' whenever we had a life change. They also supported us emotionally from a distance and took pains to visit us wherever we lived.

Some friends of ours married off their two sons in the last year. One of them stayed in their area and the other moved to my area, 30 minutes away. 1.5 years later the other son and his wife are moving to our area. The wife is crying all the time. They're 30 minutes away. I'm sympathetic but I cannot empathize.

My DH's parents are similar in that they are not enmeshed with us but that's because they could give a rat's behind about us. I will say that for all my MIL's faults, she's always respected our decisions as being ours to make.

And seeing some of my friends actually...handicap their kids so that they can't/won't move out...well, words fail me.

I've had several people tell me I will completely change my mind about the chicks leaving the nest whenever I discuss the experiences and adventures I'm encouraging my kids to pursue. I just smile and say 'okay' but I really believe, in my heart that I won't. Because I simply wasn't raised that way. I want my kids to travel, meet new people, experience new things. And then call and visit to the extent they are able and tell me all about it! The best chance for them to be able to stand on their feet and be contributing members of society is if we work hard to make them that way.

Edited: clarity

 I've mentioned this before, but after college I moved back home and worked. And stayed until I was 30. But...I paid rent and other stuff and helped out. And was fully capable of cleaning, doing my own laundry, etc. my first apt was only 5 mins from my parents, but it just happened that way. Second one was 25 mins and I had a friend ask me why I was moving soooo far away! Next one was 45 mins...hehe and then my parents had the NERVE to move 400 miles away.

Which is fine except for the time to get there. But I know people my own age, and parents who cannot bear to be more than 10 minutes or so from their parents, kids etc. like the world will end, and they also can't understand anyone who doesn't live on top of their families. Me, I need space. My mom, who will be 80 next year and I joke while we can live next door to each other, we cannot live in the same house

goldilocks

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26191 on: April 06, 2014, 11:45:13 PM »
for those of you looking forward to being empty nesters - a little advice.

As soon as the last kid moves out - sell the house and buy a 1 bedroom condo.  With no guest room.  No room to put an air mattress on the floor.  Make sure the yard is not big enough to pitch a tent.

My last one moved out and 2 months later the oldest one was back.   Wish I'd followed my own advice.

kherbert05

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26192 on: April 07, 2014, 12:25:32 AM »
I'm going to nominate my new neighbors. Their backyard faces my left side yard (they face on a different street).

They are into soccer. They have a soccer field in their back yard goals, chalk lines. They have put up trellises on the end of the soccer field that boarder the street to stop soccer balls from going over. They haven't put them up on my end. My windows get hit with wild balls a couple times a day on the weekends. They like playing at night. They light up their yard like a stadium the lights come right in my windows that side of the house. They have a ref with a whistle. They stopped playing at Midnight last night - after jarring me out of a deep sleep with a combo whistle, ball hitting my window, and loud argument. I'm going to start calling the cops on the games.
Don't Teach Them For Your Past. Teach Them For Their Future

StarDrifter

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26193 on: April 07, 2014, 03:08:04 AM »
When Nan and Pop moved into a new place a few years ago they had neighbours like that, and Pop started to leave the windows open (the windows the balls were hitting were in the back bedrooms - nothing breakable in there except the lamps which he removed) and keeping the balls - telling the kids to get their parents to come and ask for them back so he could talk to them.

Apparently the kids made up stories about 'losing' the balls elsewhere for a while and Pop got quite a collection going before the parents realised where all the balls were going and started to get shirty about them not being returned... until Pop pointed out that he could have just left the windows closed and waited until they were smashed and charged them for replacements.

Suddenly - no more balls coming over the fence and the kids were playing in the park at the end of the street instead.
And Pop had a dozen soccer balls that he gave to his own grandkids - because the parents were so embarrassed by their kids' behaviour that they never actually asked for them back.
... it might frighten them.
Victoria,

HoneyBee42

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26194 on: April 07, 2014, 07:46:39 AM »
I think I might have encountered the SSparents who were involved in the parking follies during all the practices (that's an earlier post in this thread--people going in the exit or parking across multiple spots in a small parking lot).

We go to the closing night performance of the school play.  Director-teacher announces before the show that she is requesting that people turn their cell phones *off* because of interference with the sound system.

So we have the parent who kept jumping in front of me to snap photos with his cell phone *during the performance* whenever his child happened to be on stage.  Seriously?  All those other kids?  Notice them?  I had noticed on the way in that there were a large number of parents (got there before the doors opened, lined up) judging by the people who were bringing flowers and the like (traditional .. even for the kids who are ensemble members, to get something like that from the parents after the conclusion of the final show).  I'd say that probably 3/4  of the kids in the program had families present at this show, no one else was jumping into the way of others during the performance to snap photos.

I guess it's a good thing I purchased the DVD being made of one of the performances (made available to all of the parents prior to the performance--we had to pre-order).

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26195 on: April 07, 2014, 07:58:12 AM »
for those of you looking forward to being empty nesters - a little advice.

As soon as the last kid moves out - sell the house and buy a 1 bedroom condo.  With no guest room.  No room to put an air mattress on the floor.  Make sure the yard is not big enough to pitch a tent.

My last one moved out and 2 months later the oldest one was back.   Wish I'd followed my own advice.

My IL's moved to a smaller home a couple years after DH joined the marines, because my MIL said it just felt too big without him around.  Their current house is a 2br but with rather small bedrooms that are mostly occupied by the beds and small furniture.  We slept there once but it was because we had been flying home from Maine and our flight that was meant to land in Atlanta was forced to land in BWI for the night and the IL's aren't too far so we stayed with them instead of a hotel.  It was cramped but we managed. :)

When we moved back east we lived 15 minutes away and now we're an hour away so still close enough that we really don't need to spend the night either way.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26196 on: April 07, 2014, 10:00:47 AM »
Nominating the two aggressive drivers that terrorized other cars this morning. Neither of you should be driving.

alkira6

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26197 on: April 07, 2014, 11:36:13 AM »
Nominating my husbands boss for calling him at 4:30 AM of Saturday to ask him where cup lids were stored.  Um, right where they normally are? 

First day we get to sleep in together and it's shot. She also left him an angry message when he didn't answer the phone an hour later because I made him mute the ringer for her phone and for the work #.  I don't see their relationship getting better after this...

MissRose

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26198 on: April 07, 2014, 11:56:26 AM »
I'd like to nominate a few of the over night people at my office.  We have a room where people can relax and watch tv on their breaks.  I came into the room this morning, and the tv does not work.  Come to find out they unplugged a few things to play this old video game thing on their break and never replugged in things back.  They also forget to switch the tv settings back to allow for normal viewing.  One person said it will do no good to complain to our facilities person as she thinks they would sooner take the tv from us.

laughtermed

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26199 on: April 07, 2014, 05:02:49 PM »
The losing the job because Mom didnt wake me up story reminded me of something that happened while I was in college:

A woman I worked with (I was in college, her daughter had just left for her first semester) would still write her daughter's school papers for her.  This was pre-Internet, so the daughter would fax the assignment to our work, the mother would write the paper and send it back to her using the company fax. 

Here's the kicker - since I was in college at the time, during my lunch breaks or short breaks, I would usually work on homework.  She asked me several times TO HELP HER WITH HER DAUGHTERS HOMEWORK while I was working on my own, saying that "Since she (mother) was paying for the daughters education, then it was her duty to help her not flunk out." She said this to me, a person who was WORKING their way through school.

I declined. She persisted because "You know this better than I do since you are taking it now."  I finally asked our supervisor to have her stop and she was cool to me since then. 

And yes, her daughter did eventually flunk out.

I have experienced a variation of this. One company I worked for had a website. Visitors could ask questions. One student asked me to do their homework and even sent a copy of the assignment from the university. I declined and the visitor got very huffy.

Shalamar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26200 on: April 07, 2014, 05:10:00 PM »
The other day, I was participating in a research study.  The point of this study is to find out which moisturizers work best.  We study participants spend a certain amount of time getting moisturizers and getting tested, then we get paid.  One of the other participants suddenly gasped "I just figured it out - we're not even getting minimum wage for this!".

I winced, because I knew what was coming.   Sure enough, one of the employees (a very no-nonsense lady) scowled and said "This isn't a job.  You chose to take part of your own free will, and the document you signed at the beginning makes that very clear."  The participant made things worse, saying "Well, yes, I know, but still - minimum wage is -"  "If you're dissatisfied, you're more than welcome to take it up with a lawyer."   Participant immediately started to backtrack, saying hastily that she wasn't dissatisfied, nosirree!

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26201 on: April 07, 2014, 07:29:29 PM »
I think that this was a situation where she was seriously not thinking her actions through. It probably never occurred to her that by opening the door she would expose you.  Maybe not malicious, just a case of her not thinking.

I see a SS as someone who knows that their actions adversely affect others, they just don't care.

I agree--I think some people described on this thread could simply have made a mistake, or not thought all the way through.

(And I might suggest that you suggest a curtain/screen of some sort. Just in case.)

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26202 on: April 07, 2014, 07:34:20 PM »
On the subject of helicopter parents and college, I read an article where a mother called in demanding to know what the university offered for laundry services because her son didn't know how to do laundry.

The man who took her call suggested she take the two remaining weeks until term started to teach him.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26203 on: April 07, 2014, 07:49:48 PM »
We got several mailings for drop-off laundry services. My DD scoffed.

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26204 on: April 07, 2014, 09:33:37 PM »
There was a  time when college students mailed their laundry home for Mom to do. It was cheaper than taking them to a laundry (coin machines didn't exist).



[url=http://afinecollection.wordpress.com/2013/10/02/laundry-mailer-1950-54/]Laundry Mailer

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