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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6748157 times)

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Elfmama

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26280 on: April 10, 2014, 09:55:08 AM »
Years ago I saw a bit of a tv reality program with the pinnacle of the SS kid (think young adult who acts like a bratty 3 y/old) who never had to lift a finger and thought everything was owned to her.
I myself was still a teenager, it made me shudder.
I think the only time a kid is too young to help out is before they can crawl.
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mime

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26281 on: April 10, 2014, 10:05:05 AM »
My FIL has always been cared-for by his mother, then by my MIL (except for finances-- he did that). Now MIL has Alzheimer's and FIL has been doing everything. He's really risen to the challenge, I have great respect for that. I think PPs are right that necessity can be very motivating.

In years past, he and DH and SILs would joke about his future old-age years.
DH & SIL's would say "we will take care of you"
FIL would add on "in the manner to which I am accustomed"
DH & SIL's would day "we will take care of you. period."
It was kinda cute.


mime

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26282 on: April 10, 2014, 10:07:16 AM »


*gasp*  I want one of those! With the way my 8 month old constantly crawls around trying to eat every tiny thing she finds on the floor, I've been referring to her as "the Roomba".

Hmmm.... this would make her even more effective...


Hillia

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26283 on: April 10, 2014, 10:23:15 AM »
DH and his brother never learned to do anything for themselves, or any 'manly' things like maintenance, etc.  Their parents didn't want them messing up the kitchen cooking, they'd somehow break the laundry machines if they touched them, and FIL was too impatient to teach them to fix or maintain anything...they carried tools and ran errands, but they couldn't actually do anything because they'd 'screw it up', and he didn't have time to answer questions or explain what he was doing.

DH has learned to do his own laundry and will try recipes he finds online.  He's missing a lot of basic kitchen knowledge but he is careful and does try.  With a lot of cheerleading on my part, he's getting more confident in taking on projects...right now we're working on building a chicken coop/storage building.  BIL can open packages and add water...it's something anyway, although all the processed food just adds to his serious weight problem.

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Elfmama

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26284 on: April 10, 2014, 10:29:23 AM »
My FIL has always been cared-for by his mother, then by my MIL (except for finances-- he did that). Now MIL has Alzheimer's and FIL has been doing everything. He's really risen to the challenge, I have great respect for that. I think PPs are right that necessity can be very motivating.
And in that same situation, my FIL chose to eat every meal out, other than the occasional bowl of cereal or sandwich.  He didn't know how to cook, and didn't even care to read the instructions on a box to learn.  And as a result, their diet was horrible, pretty heavily leaning toward fried foods. 
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Common sense is not a gift, but a curse.  Because then
you have to deal with all the people who don't have it.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

knitwicca

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26285 on: April 10, 2014, 11:17:58 AM »
One thing I noticed about Mr "I won't lower myself to make a sandwich"- his wife is working as well. So she's expected to have a job and keep house too?

Not only was she working and doing all the household chores, she was the go-to person for her specialty.
He, otoh, was bounced from area to area of the company. Finally given a desk and p.c. in the receiving area. His "job" became running Access database reports....not managing the database but simply running pre-created queries.

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26286 on: April 10, 2014, 11:22:09 AM »
One thing I noticed about Mr "I won't lower myself to make a sandwich"- his wife is working as well. So she's expected to have a job and keep house too?

Not only was she working and doing all the household chores, she was the go-to person for her specialty.
He, otoh, was bounced from area to area of the company. Finally given a desk and p.c. in the receiving area. His "job" became running Access database reports....not managing the database but simply running pre-created queries.

Proves my point.

Someone who clings to his "privilege" to avoid tasks will do it other areas as well. No wonder he wasn't given any job that needed the tiniest bit of initiative.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26287 on: April 10, 2014, 11:56:13 AM »
I remember when I was working full time, back when I was on speaking terms with my parents, I very much got the feeling they were both of the mindset that it doesn't matter if the wife/mother is working full time, it is STILL up to her to do the majority of the housework, child minding, managing of the family calender, cooking, etc. 

And oh they were also of the opinion that a house with two boys under the age of ten should be as clean as a model home.

My dear brother once said that they don't get it because he and I were 8 years apart in age and by the time he came along I was old enough to help clean and/or keep him entertained while our mother cleaned so therefore they really wouldn't get how it is to have two children 18 months apart in age and try to keep a house clean to their standards. 

My father expected that a wife/mother should have NO free time to herself.  That she ought to be busy from the time she wakes up till the kids go to bed and even then be cleaning up so that when she does find time to sit down she'd be too tired to do anything.  ::)

He came from a family of 7 children with a mother who was a nurse, cooked and cleaned and did laundry for other families. From what I've been told, she wasn't the greatest cook but somehow dinner was always on the table at the same time.

That makes my ADD brain hurt and cry, honestly.  Thank heaven DH doesn't expect that of me!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Bethalize

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26288 on: April 10, 2014, 12:34:30 PM »

My father expected that a wife/mother should have NO free time to herself.  That she ought to be busy from the time she wakes up till the kids go to bed and even then be cleaning up so that when she does find time to sit down she'd be too tired to do anything.  ::)

I've read several good pieces about feminism and gender equality recently about leisure being the privilege of men. It's a point I've always been aware of.

alkira6

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26289 on: April 10, 2014, 12:44:30 PM »

My father expected that a wife/mother should have NO free time to herself.  That she ought to be busy from the time she wakes up till the kids go to bed and even then be cleaning up so that when she does find time to sit down she'd be too tired to do anything.  ::)

I've read several good pieces about feminism and gender equality recently about leisure being the privilege of men. It's a point I've always been aware of.

My husband and I had to have this conversation years ago when I pointed out the different views on off days.

No dinner, laundry undone, chore half/not finished -

Him to me when I'm off: What did you do all day?

Him to me when he's off: It's my off day, I needed to relax.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26290 on: April 10, 2014, 01:08:02 PM »
My dear man has learned not to say "What have you done all day" and actually the few times he's come home to find my older two awake and me out for the count on the couch, he's said "Okay, what have you done to wear your mother out today?"

In staying home with all 3 boys on Saturdays so I can have time to myself, I think he's definitely learned just how much of a handful and how frustrating it can be. But even before the third one was a thought he would give me a gift card to a bookstore on Mother's Day and say "Go have fun, let me worry about the boys."

He can make me crazy but he is a good man and believes a well rested woman with time to herself makes for a happier, better mother. :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

gramma dishes

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26291 on: April 10, 2014, 01:10:18 PM »


He can make me crazy but he is a good man and believes a well rested woman with time to herself makes for a happier, better mother. :)

... and wife!   >:D

shhh its me

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26292 on: April 10, 2014, 01:12:19 PM »


He came from a family of 7 children with a mother who was a nurse, cooked and cleaned and did laundry for other families. From what I've been told, she wasn't the greatest cook but somehow dinner was always on the table at the same time.


I think another part of this is how people recall their childhoods, some of the details get really fuzzy. Plus parenting has changed a great deal in 2 generations.  I grew up in one of the worst cities for crime and remember being allowed to walk with friends to school in 2nd grade (and not a school just a few doors down  1/2 a mileish across a major road and several streets without crosswalks) My son grew up in one of the safest cities and with literally one exception all the the kids walked with an adult (including the kids 10 door down from the school) I'm in no way saying raising 7 kids was easy but the were huge differences in what that means over the last  25-50 years.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26293 on: April 10, 2014, 01:28:40 PM »


He came from a family of 7 children with a mother who was a nurse, cooked and cleaned and did laundry for other families. From what I've been told, she wasn't the greatest cook but somehow dinner was always on the table at the same time.


I think another part of this is how people recall their childhoods, some of the details get really fuzzy. Plus parenting has changed a great deal in 2 generations.  I grew up in one of the worst cities for crime and remember being allowed to walk with friends to school in 2nd grade (and not a school just a few doors down  1/2 a mileish across a major road and several streets without crosswalks) My son grew up in one of the safest cities and with literally one exception all the the kids walked with an adult (including the kids 10 door down from the school) I'm in no way saying raising 7 kids was easy but the were huge differences in what that means over the last  25-50 years.

Oh I agree, and while I adored my grandmother, I do suspect there was some level of fuzzy memory as well as differences in generations.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Shalamar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26294 on: April 10, 2014, 01:52:08 PM »
When my daughters were 4 and 2, respectively, my dad called me on the phone to chat.  "How are you?" he asked.  "Ugh, I'm exhausted," I replied.  He said with honest curiosity "Why?"   ::)