Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5088649 times)

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siamesecat2965

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26280 on: April 10, 2014, 08:48:45 AM »
My dad, when he retired, volunteered for AARP doing tax prep for seniors. He did it in an area where there was a large concentration of people from a certain country, one which  was very man-centric. Where the norm was the man worked, handled the finances and everything else, and the woman took care of the house and kids. He said he had a lot of little old ladies coming in, after their husbands were gone, who had no clue about ANY of their financial stuff. They'd come wiht bags and boxes of "stuff" for their tax returns.

My parents were pretty equal; my mom lived on her own, had a job and company car in the late 1950s, and then drove from NJ to CA with two friends, and lived there, where she met my dad. So she's pretty independent. And now that he's gone, she does just fine. you'll never hear about her getting swindled like many seniors sadly do.

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26281 on: April 10, 2014, 08:55:10 AM »


What did these men do for food prior to being married? Did they just go hungry? Call up mom for dinner delivery?

 
Or ate a lot of cereal or sandwiches.   Or pizza.

This was a classic problem with men of my parents' generation. 

These were men who lived at home until they were drafted during WW II and married soon after the
 war. At home, their mother saw to all their needs.  In the Army, the army took care of all their needs.  Once they got married, new wives were schooled by the man's family to take care of all their needs.  It was pathetic. 

My father and many of his friends weren't exactly sure how much money they were bringing home
because the pay envelope went directly into the hands of the women and the men were given a weekly allowance.

When the wives of these men died, they were at a complete loss.  Many of them didn't know what size clothes they wore or how many spoons of sugar they liked in their tea because there was always a woman to do it for them.  Heck, my mother had to teach some of them how to balance a
checkbook and write a check to pay a bill.     

My grandmother was a formidable woman. Divorced my grandfather in the 1950's because they weren't compatible and raised my mom and aunt. She remarried and was widowed, then remarried again. She took care of all the business of her cattle ranches, the paperwork and taxes for her land and oil royalty ownership, paid all the bills.

She passed away and my step GF had no idea how to do any of these things because he was illiterate. He couldn't read or write.

lkdrymom

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26282 on: April 10, 2014, 09:04:44 AM »
I wonder what will happen if my father outlives my mother.  My mother handles the money matters & bills even though they are in his name but he knows how to gather the tax documents & make the year appointment to the tax place. 

Back to snowflakes:

My mother wanted to watch a certain program on tv Sunday evening.  I live in 1 town, she in another - the same cable company but some of my channel listings are different than hers.  I told her to simply turn to channel y at 7pm.  She spent more time ringing my phone to say I cannot find the program and missed half of it because she did not wait long enough.  Apparently, I should have driven over (but I did not), then turned on the channel and made her wait a minute as the tv guide on the tv did not describe the program to the point that she knew that it was the right thing!

I am still in shock that my father has managed ten since since my mother died. She was sick for a long time so he finally had to learn how to use the microwave and the vacuum. Yet he will try and act helpless if I let him (I don;t). He was famous for calling me at work freaking out that his remote stopped working. He really expected me to leave work to go and fix it (often it would have to be reporgrammed). Or at least stop by after work...you know when I was racing home to make it to daycare in time. I finally wrote down detailed instructions on how to fix the remote. He would still want me to do it. Once he was left high and dry with out a remote (and access to the tv) for days  since I could not stop by he finally learned how to fix it himself.

alkira6

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26283 on: April 10, 2014, 09:07:39 AM »
I keep trying to get my husband on board with learning how to handle finances or at least know what is what.  He finds it easier to just get an allowance and then ask me if we have enough money to get things if he wants something that costs more than he has in cash.  I'm mentally going  ::) because he's going to need to know these things when/if I die before him.

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26284 on: April 10, 2014, 09:31:12 AM »
Yet another SS driver who was putting on makeup while driving down the road and swerving 2 feet in either direction while looking in the vanity mirror.

Another SS driver, a young man, combing and putting gel in his hair while driving down the street. He wasn't looking forward, but in the mirror.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26285 on: April 10, 2014, 09:36:35 AM »
I know a guy who was diagnosed at age 9 with diabetes type 1.  He was always babied by his mother and when he once went to Disney with his best friend and no parents when they were in their early 20's, this guy ended up collapsing due to low blood sugar cause he hadn't learned how to manage it despite having it for at least 10 years up to that point.   And from what his friend told us, it wasn't a case of something affecting him differently than he'd expected (my brother's also diabetic and some foods cause his bs to spike more than others)

Well he married and suddenly monitoring his diabetes became wifey's job, not his, but he'd fight her whenever she'd try to look out for him.  ::) He'd give himself the shots but she had to remind him to check his blood sugar and eat good food, not the junk food that sent his bs on a roller coaster ride.

Now they're divorcing and he works about 10 hrs a week so he brings in money but she makes more.  He makes enough to buy himself food but he spends it on junk and toys and copius amounts of alcohol.  She once said that she would just buy food for herself and lock it up to attempt to force some responsibility for his care on him and he told her that if he died of insulin shock she'd be found guilty of murder. 

He's also refusing to sign the papers because he doesn't want to have to be left to learn to take care of himself.  ::)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26286 on: April 10, 2014, 09:46:21 AM »
My dad once commented on his coworkers always complaining about their lunches and how awful they were. One asked my dad why he never complained about his. My dad told them he always makes his lunch himself. It was like the thought never occurred to these guys to make their own.

My mom is kind of no-nonsense, she was a SAH mom, but she and dad shared cooking duties. My mom hated cooking, even though she was good at it. The 3 of us kids were more or less self taught on cooking and laundry. My sister and I were also taught not to nag, if we couldn't get a response to just do it ourselves.

My sister could not get her DH to help her around the house, so after having enough, she took a pile of her DH clean clothes and made a pile in their closet. Needless to say, he was not amused. She  told him, until he starts helping her, that is where his clothes would be. It worked. They've been together 27 years now.

SS driver... On my way to work yesterday morning I get behind a car weaving in the lane, and going way under the speed limit. When I had a chance, I went around, I didn't want to be involved in an accident. Driver was texting.

Elfmama

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26287 on: April 10, 2014, 10:55:08 AM »
Years ago I saw a bit of a tv reality program with the pinnacle of the SS kid (think young adult who acts like a bratty 3 y/old) who never had to lift a finger and thought everything was owned to her.
I myself was still a teenager, it made me shudder.
I think the only time a kid is too young to help out is before they can crawl.
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mime

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26288 on: April 10, 2014, 11:05:05 AM »
My FIL has always been cared-for by his mother, then by my MIL (except for finances-- he did that). Now MIL has Alzheimer's and FIL has been doing everything. He's really risen to the challenge, I have great respect for that. I think PPs are right that necessity can be very motivating.

In years past, he and DH and SILs would joke about his future old-age years.
DH & SIL's would say "we will take care of you"
FIL would add on "in the manner to which I am accustomed"
DH & SIL's would day "we will take care of you. period."
It was kinda cute.


mime

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26289 on: April 10, 2014, 11:07:16 AM »


*gasp*  I want one of those! With the way my 8 month old constantly crawls around trying to eat every tiny thing she finds on the floor, I've been referring to her as "the Roomba".

Hmmm.... this would make her even more effective...


Hillia

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26290 on: April 10, 2014, 11:23:15 AM »
DH and his brother never learned to do anything for themselves, or any 'manly' things like maintenance, etc.  Their parents didn't want them messing up the kitchen cooking, they'd somehow break the laundry machines if they touched them, and FIL was too impatient to teach them to fix or maintain anything...they carried tools and ran errands, but they couldn't actually do anything because they'd 'screw it up', and he didn't have time to answer questions or explain what he was doing.

DH has learned to do his own laundry and will try recipes he finds online.  He's missing a lot of basic kitchen knowledge but he is careful and does try.  With a lot of cheerleading on my part, he's getting more confident in taking on projects...right now we're working on building a chicken coop/storage building.  BIL can open packages and add water...it's something anyway, although all the processed food just adds to his serious weight problem.

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Elfmama

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26291 on: April 10, 2014, 11:29:23 AM »
My FIL has always been cared-for by his mother, then by my MIL (except for finances-- he did that). Now MIL has Alzheimer's and FIL has been doing everything. He's really risen to the challenge, I have great respect for that. I think PPs are right that necessity can be very motivating.
And in that same situation, my FIL chose to eat every meal out, other than the occasional bowl of cereal or sandwich.  He didn't know how to cook, and didn't even care to read the instructions on a box to learn.  And as a result, their diet was horrible, pretty heavily leaning toward fried foods. 
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It's true. Money can't buy happiness.  You have to turn it
into books first.
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knitwicca

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26292 on: April 10, 2014, 12:17:58 PM »
One thing I noticed about Mr "I won't lower myself to make a sandwich"- his wife is working as well. So she's expected to have a job and keep house too?

Not only was she working and doing all the household chores, she was the go-to person for her specialty.
He, otoh, was bounced from area to area of the company. Finally given a desk and p.c. in the receiving area. His "job" became running Access database reports....not managing the database but simply running pre-created queries.

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26293 on: April 10, 2014, 12:22:09 PM »
One thing I noticed about Mr "I won't lower myself to make a sandwich"- his wife is working as well. So she's expected to have a job and keep house too?

Not only was she working and doing all the household chores, she was the go-to person for her specialty.
He, otoh, was bounced from area to area of the company. Finally given a desk and p.c. in the receiving area. His "job" became running Access database reports....not managing the database but simply running pre-created queries.

Proves my point.

Someone who clings to his "privilege" to avoid tasks will do it other areas as well. No wonder he wasn't given any job that needed the tiniest bit of initiative.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #26294 on: April 10, 2014, 12:56:13 PM »
I remember when I was working full time, back when I was on speaking terms with my parents, I very much got the feeling they were both of the mindset that it doesn't matter if the wife/mother is working full time, it is STILL up to her to do the majority of the housework, child minding, managing of the family calender, cooking, etc. 

And oh they were also of the opinion that a house with two boys under the age of ten should be as clean as a model home.

My dear brother once said that they don't get it because he and I were 8 years apart in age and by the time he came along I was old enough to help clean and/or keep him entertained while our mother cleaned so therefore they really wouldn't get how it is to have two children 18 months apart in age and try to keep a house clean to their standards. 

My father expected that a wife/mother should have NO free time to herself.  That she ought to be busy from the time she wakes up till the kids go to bed and even then be cleaning up so that when she does find time to sit down she'd be too tired to do anything.  ::)

He came from a family of 7 children with a mother who was a nurse, cooked and cleaned and did laundry for other families. From what I've been told, she wasn't the greatest cook but somehow dinner was always on the table at the same time.

That makes my ADD brain hurt and cry, honestly.  Thank heaven DH doesn't expect that of me!
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata