Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5390373 times)

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darling

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27450 on: June 15, 2014, 10:57:23 PM »
Not sure if this is snowflakey, or just a bad case of counting one's chickens before they are hatched.  Older man with few relatives dies under ambiguous circumstances (He was dead in his apartment for about 2 weeks.)  Only close relative is a sister and her two grown children.  Between waiting for an autopsy, and some personal problems, the executor hasn't been in contact with the sister in over a month.  Now I understand that the sister is getting anxious about what her brother died of, and when he can be buried.   Meanwhile, Sister's husband (and I suspect Sister herself) wants their son to come up and clean out the apartment as soon as possible.  There's some family heirlooms, son's oldest kids moved out and can use some of the furniture, it's costing the estate a couple of thousand dollars a month in rent.  What gets into the snowflake category is that  they don't know what is in the brother's will.  In fact, they don't know for sure if the will has been located yet. (Apparently, it is/was in the apartment.)  It may well be that the whole estate is going to a charity. 

Granted, the executor should be better at keeping in contact, if only to say that the autopsy hasn't been done yet, and the apartment is still considered a possible crime scene.  But being a person's only living relative is not a guarantee that you will be in the will.

Wanting to get a situation resolved and move on isn't snowflakey in the slightest.   I don't see anywhere that she is making unreasonable demands or asking for special treatment.    I actually sympathize a little bit, it sounds like a frustrating situation.   Inheriting isn't always a good thing, sometimes it's a burden if it means being responsible for a large amount of junk disposal!   I can see them wanting to get it all sorted.   Plus how frustrating to see the estate money go down the plughole of rent while waiting for the executor to get organised.

The executor has a duty to get this resolved as soon as possible, and I would be furious. They can't even bury him yet??? You bet your bippy that I'd be throwing a fit, without even thinking about any inheritance. I vote for not snowflakey...

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27451 on: June 15, 2014, 11:14:31 PM »
I also don't think it's snowflakey to think that it's highly likely you'll end up inheriting, and to want to get a move on if that's true.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27452 on: June 15, 2014, 11:55:08 PM »
Not sure if this is snowflakey, or just a bad case of counting one's chickens before they are hatched.  Older man with few relatives dies under ambiguous circumstances (He was dead in his apartment for about 2 weeks.)  Only close relative is a sister and her two grown children.  Between waiting for an autopsy, and some personal problems, the executor hasn't been in contact with the sister in over a month.  Now I understand that the sister is getting anxious about what her brother died of, and when he can be buried.   Meanwhile, Sister's husband (and I suspect Sister herself) wants their son to come up and clean out the apartment as soon as possible.  There's some family heirlooms, son's oldest kids moved out and can use some of the furniture, it's costing the estate a couple of thousand dollars a month in rent.  What gets into the snowflake category is that  they don't know what is in the brother's will.  In fact, they don't know for sure if the will has been located yet. (Apparently, it is/was in the apartment.)  It may well be that the whole estate is going to a charity. 

Granted, the executor should be better at keeping in contact, if only to say that the autopsy hasn't been done yet, and the apartment is still considered a possible crime scene.  But being a person's only living relative is not a guarantee that you will be in the will.

Wanting to get a situation resolved and move on isn't snowflakey in the slightest.   I don't see anywhere that she is making unreasonable demands or asking for special treatment.    I actually sympathize a little bit, it sounds like a frustrating situation.   Inheriting isn't always a good thing, sometimes it's a burden if it means being responsible for a large amount of junk disposal!   I can see them wanting to get it all sorted.   Plus how frustrating to see the estate money go down the plughole of rent while waiting for the executor to get organised.

The executor has a duty to get this resolved as soon as possible, and I would be furious. They can't even bury him yet??? You bet your bippy that I'd be throwing a fit, without even thinking about any inheritance. I vote for not snowflakey...

If the municipality/state still has the body, then there is nothing that the executor can do until there is a death certificate. 

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27453 on: June 16, 2014, 09:24:12 AM »
DH and I went to see Maleficent Saturday. We were surprised how empty the theater was in the afternoon, but got our seats and were settled.

Enter the three women and girl. They sit in front of us, but keep changing seats through all the previews. I noticed all three women have beer, but seemed okay. They giggle and whisper throughout the movie, two of the women frequently get up to get more beer. They get louder, with more seat changes, and I tried my best to ignore them.

Until the one in front of me got our her phone and pulled up facebook in the middle of one of the darkest scenes. I moved forward and asked her to turn off her phone. Three times. She did, but whispered to the others with her.

Seconds after the last scene, all three women pull out their phones, with bright screens. One turned on her LED flash and waved it around.  >:(

Celany

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27454 on: June 16, 2014, 12:20:28 PM »
I have a friend (Lia) who does burlesque & I frequently do costume work for her. Her friend Eric lives in my neighborhood. So a lot of the time, when she picks up stuff from me, it's because she's doing something with Eric, so they both stop by for 5-10 mins. I really don't care for Eric. He's not awful, but he's...obnoxious enough that I wouldn't want to hang out with him for more than 5-10 mins at a time.

I have a candy bowl in my living room. I buy candy for it nearly every week & my AirBnBers often give me little bags of candy as a host gift. Depending on how much candy we're been snacking on, I'll buy a cheaper bag of large candies, if it's getting really low, or a smaller bag of fancy candies, if it's pretty full. So I'll have mini-snickers bars, reece's cups, lindt chocolate-filled truffle balls, brazilian candies,  & little fancy italian candies from eataly, all mixed together.

I noticed a few months ago that when Eric is over, he eats a LOT of the candy, & also takes some with him-AND he zeros in on the expensive candies. When I realized that, the next time they were over, I said something like "feel free to grab a couple of candies, but please don't take any with you, they're here for everybody to have some". He sort of muttered sure, but as I was turning back to the costume I was talking to Lia about, I saw him rolling his eyes.

Anyways, I noticed after that that he was *still* eating & taking candy, but that he must have been waiting until my back was turned, I was facing away from the bowl, because I never SAW him take more than 2-3 candies, but there were clearly a lot less in the bowl when he left.

So when Lia said they were going to stop by this weekend, I hid the candy bowl. The first thing Eric said, when he got to my living room, was "Hey! Where's the candy bowl?" & I said "sorry, too many people were eating/taking too many, so I'm out of candy". and he says "that totally sucks! I came here because you always have the expensive candies that nobody buys!" me (in a jokey voice, smiling) "if you like them that much, you could buy them yourself. I get the really nice ones at eataly mostly & sometimes at dean & deluca." him "no, they're EXPENSIVE. I don't buy things that are that expensive. Lia, I'm going to go wait for you in the park, since it's nice out" and he leaves.

Lia was embarrassed (this is the first time he's actually been *rude* as opposed to just having an obnoxious personality). & I said "why don't you stop over from now on before you go to Eric's. Or after you leave his place? I'm not really feeling having him over anymore". Which she agreed to.
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siamesecat2965

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27455 on: June 16, 2014, 12:32:02 PM »
I have a friend (Lia) who does burlesque & I frequently do costume work for her. Her friend Eric lives in my neighborhood. So a lot of the time, when she picks up stuff from me, it's because she's doing something with Eric, so they both stop by for 5-10 mins. I really don't care for Eric. He's not awful, but he's...obnoxious enough that I wouldn't want to hang out with him for more than 5-10 mins at a time.

I have a candy bowl in my living room. I buy candy for it nearly every week & my AirBnBers often give me little bags of candy as a host gift. Depending on how much candy we're been snacking on, I'll buy a cheaper bag of large candies, if it's getting really low, or a smaller bag of fancy candies, if it's pretty full. So I'll have mini-snickers bars, reece's cups, lindt chocolate-filled truffle balls, brazilian candies,  & little fancy italian candies from eataly, all mixed together.

I noticed a few months ago that when Eric is over, he eats a LOT of the candy, & also takes some with him-AND he zeros in on the expensive candies. When I realized that, the next time they were over, I said something like "feel free to grab a couple of candies, but please don't take any with you, they're here for everybody to have some". He sort of muttered sure, but as I was turning back to the costume I was talking to Lia about, I saw him rolling his eyes.

Anyways, I noticed after that that he was *still* eating & taking candy, but that he must have been waiting until my back was turned, I was facing away from the bowl, because I never SAW him take more than 2-3 candies, but there were clearly a lot less in the bowl when he left.

So when Lia said they were going to stop by this weekend, I hid the candy bowl. The first thing Eric said, when he got to my living room, was "Hey! Where's the candy bowl?" & I said "sorry, too many people were eating/taking too many, so I'm out of candy". and he says "that totally sucks! I came here because you always have the expensive candies that nobody buys!" me (in a jokey voice, smiling) "if you like them that much, you could buy them yourself. I get the really nice ones at eataly mostly & sometimes at dean & deluca." him "no, they're EXPENSIVE. I don't buy things that are that expensive. Lia, I'm going to go wait for you in the park, since it's nice out" and he leaves.

Lia was embarrassed (this is the first time he's actually been *rude* as opposed to just having an obnoxious personality). & I said "why don't you stop over from now on before you go to Eric's. Or after you leave his place? I'm not really feeling having him over anymore". Which she agreed to.

Wow. What a boor! Good for you for hiding the candy, and telling Lia he isn't welcome anymore.

Amara

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27456 on: June 16, 2014, 12:34:48 PM »
Heh. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she tells him he is no longer welcome at your home.

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27457 on: June 16, 2014, 12:37:48 PM »
Heh. I'd love to be a fly on the wall when she tells him he is no longer welcome at your home.

That would be rude of her. In the extreme. Rude to the OP, and rude to Eric.

She should just stop over before, that's all. And if Eric asks, she should just say, "Oh, I don't need to go to her house now."

Goosey

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27458 on: June 16, 2014, 12:41:02 PM »
I don't think it would be rude to tell him the consequences of his own behavior. I do think it would be rude to lie to him - especially a lie that is so easily caught out.

2littlemonkeys

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27459 on: June 16, 2014, 12:53:20 PM »
I nominate this person: http://gothamist.com/2014/06/12/water_fountain_or_dog_bidet.php#

That's some special entitlement right there.

 :o

 :o

 :o

That is disgusting.  And I grew up on a farm

One of my kids just had kindergarten graduation.  It's nothing fancy, the parents go to the auditorium on the last day of school, the kids do a couple of songs, the teachers say a few words about how great the classes were and there is punch and cookies after. 

Since the auditorium seating isn't theater style (just folding chairs), the line to get into any school performance starts early to ensure a choice in seats near the front.  And people are very territorial about their spots.  I saw a few parents stroll up and join the  front of the line as the doors were opening and they were soundly told to go back to the end of the line by the parents who'd been waiting.  It got a little heated and profanities were lobbed about by the offenders.  The school administrators stepped in and told the offenders if they wanted to attend, they'd need to go back to the line and behave themselves.  Or they could leave.  Their choice.  They chose to go back to the end of the line but not without some name calling first.   ::)


TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27460 on: June 16, 2014, 12:54:42 PM »
I don't think it would be rude to tell him the consequences of his own behavior. I do think it would be rude to lie to him - especially a lie that is so easily caught out.

It's not rude to fix it so that he suffers the consequences of his behavior (i.e., not stopping by the OP's when he's with her). But to tell him would be rude. Absolutely.

No it wouldn't be rude to lie to him.

Etiquette sanctions lying all the time.

And leaving out the *reason* for her "stopping by to pick up a costume" plans is not lying.
So to include it ever would be rude and unnecessarily hurtful.

Goosey

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27461 on: June 16, 2014, 12:57:01 PM »
I don't think it would be rude to tell him the consequences of his own behavior. I do think it would be rude to lie to him - especially a lie that is so easily caught out.

It's not rude to fix it so that he suffers the consequences of his behavior (i.e., not stopping by the OP's when he's with her). But to tell him would be rude. Absolutely.

No it wouldn't be rude to lie to him.

Etiquette sanctions lying all the time.

And leaving out the *reason* for her "stopping by to pick up a costume" plans is not lying.
So to include it ever would be rude and unnecessarily hurtful.
He's an adult. He can't be told the consequences of his actions?

"Sorry, you really put her off with the candy thing. I'm just going to come get you after from now on" is a lot better in my mind than an obvious lie.

Perhaps this would be better in a spin off thread though.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27462 on: June 16, 2014, 01:31:18 PM »
I don't think it would be rude to tell him the consequences of his own behavior. I do think it would be rude to lie to him - especially a lie that is so easily caught out.

It's not rude to fix it so that he suffers the consequences of his behavior (i.e., not stopping by the OP's when he's with her). But to tell him would be rude. Absolutely.

No it wouldn't be rude to lie to him.

Etiquette sanctions lying all the time.

And leaving out the *reason* for her "stopping by to pick up a costume" plans is not lying.
So to include it ever would be rude and unnecessarily hurtful.
He's an adult. He can't be told the consequences of his actions?

"Sorry, you really put her off with the candy thing. I'm just going to come get you after from now on" is a lot better in my mind than an obvious lie.

Perhaps this would be better in a spin off thread though.

Not out of the blue no.  So no Lia showing up to his house and deliberately mentioning that she's just come from from Celany's house or is going to Celany's house and he can't come because he was really rude to her the last time.  That is rude and uncalled for

However, if Lia simply goes and visit's Eric before or after and doesn't mention it, that's fine.  There is no need for him to know he's not welcome, because he never goes to Celany's house without Lia. 

If he asks Lia about going to Celany's house and she tells him the reason, that's fine.  But not just arbitrarily announcing he's never invited back because Celany doesn't like him and he's rude, etc.  That's drama llama behavior. 

Goosey

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27463 on: June 16, 2014, 02:07:53 PM »
I don't think it would be rude to tell him the consequences of his own behavior. I do think it would be rude to lie to him - especially a lie that is so easily caught out.

It's not rude to fix it so that he suffers the consequences of his behavior (i.e., not stopping by the OP's when he's with her). But to tell him would be rude. Absolutely.

No it wouldn't be rude to lie to him.

Etiquette sanctions lying all the time.

And leaving out the *reason* for her "stopping by to pick up a costume" plans is not lying.
So to include it ever would be rude and unnecessarily hurtful.
He's an adult. He can't be told the consequences of his actions?

"Sorry, you really put her off with the candy thing. I'm just going to come get you after from now on" is a lot better in my mind than an obvious lie.

Perhaps this would be better in a spin off thread though.

Not out of the blue no.  So no Lia showing up to his house and deliberately mentioning that she's just come from from Celany's house or is going to Celany's house and he can't come because he was really rude to her the last time.  That is rude and uncalled for

However, if Lia simply goes and visit's Eric before or after and doesn't mention it, that's fine.  There is no need for him to know he's not welcome, because he never goes to Celany's house without Lia. 

If he asks Lia about going to Celany's house and she tells him the reason, that's fine.  But not just arbitrarily announcing he's never invited back because Celany doesn't like him and he's rude, etc.  That's drama llama behavior.

I absolutely agree with this, but it sounds like Toots was saying it would be rude to tell him under any circumstance.

Celany

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27464 on: June 16, 2014, 02:57:04 PM »
I don't think it would be rude to tell him the consequences of his own behavior. I do think it would be rude to lie to him - especially a lie that is so easily caught out.

It's not rude to fix it so that he suffers the consequences of his behavior (i.e., not stopping by the OP's when he's with her). But to tell him would be rude. Absolutely.

No it wouldn't be rude to lie to him.

Etiquette sanctions lying all the time.

And leaving out the *reason* for her "stopping by to pick up a costume" plans is not lying.
So to include it ever would be rude and unnecessarily hurtful.
He's an adult. He can't be told the consequences of his actions?

"Sorry, you really put her off with the candy thing. I'm just going to come get you after from now on" is a lot better in my mind than an obvious lie.

Perhaps this would be better in a spin off thread though.

Not out of the blue no.  So no Lia showing up to his house and deliberately mentioning that she's just come from from Celany's house or is going to Celany's house and he can't come because he was really rude to her the last time.  That is rude and uncalled for

However, if Lia simply goes and visit's Eric before or after and doesn't mention it, that's fine.  There is no need for him to know he's not welcome, because he never goes to Celany's house without Lia. 

If he asks Lia about going to Celany's house and she tells him the reason, that's fine.  But not just arbitrarily announcing he's never invited back because Celany doesn't like him and he's rude, etc.  That's drama llama behavior.

I absolutely agree with this, but it sounds like Toots was saying it would be rude to tell him under any circumstance.

"Sorry, you really put her off with the candy thing and when you made it clear that you have no interest in visiting if there is no candy. I'm just going to come get you after from now on"

Believe me, I knew that Eric & I both weren't fond of each other & it was pretty clear that neither of us would just hang out the two of us. However, the way he acted sort of inferred to me that, without candy, he doesn't even want to spend 10-15 minutes in my apartment...for me, that was the icky icing on the rude cake.

Lia doesn't have a problem speaking her mind to people, and she was embarrassed and steamed by how he left, so I wouldn't be surprised if she lit in to him for herself when she met him at the park & told him that she wasn't bringing him back because *she* was upset because of his behavior too. I honestly don't understand why they hang out together. But, not my dog.
I have studied many philosophers and many cats. The wisdom of cats is infinitely superior. ~ Hippolyte Taine