Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5517080 times)

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Shalamar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27465 on: June 16, 2014, 03:29:59 PM »
Wow.  Eric reminds me a bit of my former co-worker Melissa, who'd grab handfuls of my Kleenexes and leave without a word.  I finally got tired of being treated like a human vending machine (except that you pay a vending machine) and told her "You know, the store will sell them to you, too."  Hoo boy, was she offended.  I wouldn't have minded if it was only once in a while (spring allergies can sometimes take you by surprise), but it was every day, often more than once per day.

carol1412

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27466 on: June 16, 2014, 03:42:05 PM »
I don't think it would be rude to tell him the consequences of his own behavior. I do think it would be rude to lie to him - especially a lie that is so easily caught out.

It's not rude to fix it so that he suffers the consequences of his behavior (i.e., not stopping by the OP's when he's with her). But to tell him would be rude. Absolutely.

No it wouldn't be rude to lie to him.

Etiquette sanctions lying all the time.

And leaving out the *reason* for her "stopping by to pick up a costume" plans is not lying.
So to include it ever would be rude and unnecessarily hurtful.

Re: the bolded - while etiquette may "sanction" saying less than what you would like to, or not saying anything at all, I do not believe that it "sanctions" lying. Or even encourages it. There's no need to lie when keeping quiet will do just as well. And yes, it is rude to lie to people.

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27467 on: June 16, 2014, 03:45:48 PM »
I don't think it's her place to do so.

Goosey

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27468 on: June 16, 2014, 04:06:08 PM »
I don't think it's her place to do so.

Can you elaborate? Whose place is it? Should he be kept in the dark about how his poor behavior has put people off? What does that accomplish? Lia is his friend - if there's a person whose "place" it is to respond with honesty to a question, a friend qualifies IMO

MrTango

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27469 on: June 16, 2014, 04:38:28 PM »
I heard this SS-receives-instant-karma story from a friend of mine:

Friend was driving to work when he came up to someone who was driving 35mph in a 55mph zone and in the fast lane, alternately talking and texting on their cell phone.  Friend honked his horn (which his state's driver's manual says is the correct signal to another driver that the other driver needs to move to the right to allow faster traffic to pass).

Instead of moving over, the Slow driver extended his left hand out the driver's window to extend their middle finger.  The driver's left hand was also the hand with which they were holding the phone.  The phone comes out of the driver's hand, hits the road, and then my friend heard the crunch of his tires rolling over the slow driver's phone.

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27470 on: June 16, 2014, 04:39:58 PM »
Oh my. That was not wise at all.

VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27471 on: June 16, 2014, 04:46:04 PM »
I heard this SS-receives-instant-karma story from a friend of mine:

Friend was driving to work when he came up to someone who was driving 35mph in a 55mph zone and in the fast lane, alternately talking and texting on their cell phone.  Friend honked his horn (which his state's driver's manual says is the correct signal to another driver that the other driver needs to move to the right to allow faster traffic to pass).

Instead of moving over, the Slow driver extended his left hand out the driver's window to extend their middle finger.  The driver's left hand was also the hand with which they were holding the phone.  The phone comes out of the driver's hand, hits the road, and then my friend heard the crunch of his tires rolling over the slow driver's phone.

I would be that the "lesson" the SS learned was that other people will drive over his phone if he drops it, not that the phone needs to be put away when driving...

But he might have to spend enough money replacing the phone that it is going to be taken better care of than the one that got more or less "tossed" out the window, even if it was by accident/mistake.
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melicious

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27472 on: June 16, 2014, 04:47:24 PM »
I don't think it's her place to do so.

Can you elaborate? Whose place is it? Should he be kept in the dark about how his poor behavior has put people off? What does that accomplish? Lia is his friend - if there's a person whose "place" it is to respond with honesty to a question, a friend qualifies IMO

I agree. If he's demonstrating poor etiquette, why sweep it under the rug? He's a grown man and should be made aware of his behaviour. If he chooses to modify it, that's up to him, but at least he'd know why he's no longer welcome in Celany's home.

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27473 on: June 16, 2014, 05:00:30 PM »
And what if Celany doesn't want the awkwardness of having this communicated t him.? Without express directions, then the mutual friend would owe it to Celany to keep the confidence.
    After all, Celany didn't say this directly to him; she made of point of having the convo when Eric wasn't around. So to repeat it to him is the height of rudeness to Celany.

Sirius

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27474 on: June 16, 2014, 05:24:03 PM »
Not sure if this is snowflakey, or just a bad case of counting one's chickens before they are hatched.  Older man with few relatives dies under ambiguous circumstances (He was dead in his apartment for about 2 weeks.)  Only close relative is a sister and her two grown children.  Between waiting for an autopsy, and some personal problems, the executor hasn't been in contact with the sister in over a month.  Now I understand that the sister is getting anxious about what her brother died of, and when he can be buried.   Meanwhile, Sister's husband (and I suspect Sister herself) wants their son to come up and clean out the apartment as soon as possible.  There's some family heirlooms, son's oldest kids moved out and can use some of the furniture, it's costing the estate a couple of thousand dollars a month in rent.  What gets into the snowflake category is that  they don't know what is in the brother's will.  In fact, they don't know for sure if the will has been located yet. (Apparently, it is/was in the apartment.)  It may well be that the whole estate is going to a charity. 

Granted, the executor should be better at keeping in contact, if only to say that the autopsy hasn't been done yet, and the apartment is still considered a possible crime scene.  But being a person's only living relative is not a guarantee that you will be in the will.

I've been an executor, and it is rather snowflakey for the relatives to be badgering the executor, especially ones who don't know for a fact that they are heirs.  When my aunt died I was staying in her house looking after her pets since she'd been hospitalized before her death, and if other relatives had descended on the place and started picking things out I'd have tossed them out the back door.  However, I already had a copy of my aunt's will and had been in contact with the other heirs, and since my aunt lived in a small town out in the middle of nowhere the other heirs were not really interested in her furnishings, etc.  The line about being someone's only living relative doesn't guarantee that the relative is an heir is very true; even in my aunt's case my dad (my aunt's brother) got upset that he wasn't mentioned in her will.  I simply told him that the will said what it said, and that was the end of it.  (I knew he wouldn't try to sue; my dad is such a tightwad he'd never pay a lawyer.)

Celany

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27475 on: June 16, 2014, 05:29:32 PM »
And what if Celany doesn't want the awkwardness of having this communicated t him.? Without express directions, then the mutual friend would owe it to Celany to keep the confidence.
    After all, Celany didn't say this directly to him; she made of point of having the convo when Eric wasn't around. So to repeat it to him is the height of rudeness to Celany.

It was less that I deliberately had it when he wasn't around & more that he literally walked out while my mouth was still wide open, catching flies.

Had he not walked out, I'm honestly not sure what I would have said to him, because "You are no longer welcome in my home" feels...weird. If I'd have been thinking quickly (and he hadn't gotten up & zipped right off), I think I'd have said something like "And on that note, I do thing it's best that you leave. I'll coordinate with Lia so that you don't join us any more when she stops by", because we're not FB friends & I don't know how I'd contact him otherwise (or want to, really).

But I can see how, if I deliberately had the conversation without him, it could be awkward if I didn't want him to know (like if I was worried about some kind of retaliation) or if I wanted to keep it confidential. But given the way he acted, I don't particularly care if he knows why I don't want him to come back.
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Adelaide

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27476 on: June 16, 2014, 08:26:53 PM »
My SS coworker has now managed to tick off most people in the office. She cut out early to attend a conference (which she gave a long-winded explanation about why she didn't know it was today/had to attend/its importance) and I saw when i left that she hasn't finished her half of the project we're supposed to present together tomorrow. I can't wait to see how she explains to our supervisor the fact that she got none of her assigned work done because she *had* to leave before noon to go to this random thing she wanted to go to.

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27477 on: June 16, 2014, 08:42:02 PM »
My SS coworker has now managed to tick off most people in the office. She cut out early to attend a conference (which she gave a long-winded explanation about why she didn't know it was today/had to attend/its importance) and I saw when i left that she hasn't finished her half of the project we're supposed to present together tomorrow. I can't wait to see how she explains to our supervisor the fact that she got none of her assigned work done because she *had* to leave before noon to go to this random thing she wanted to go to.


I wonder if she's job hunting?

kherbert05

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27478 on: June 16, 2014, 09:48:35 PM »
Not sure if this is snowflakey, or just a bad case of counting one's chickens before they are hatched.  Older man with few relatives dies under ambiguous circumstances (He was dead in his apartment for about 2 weeks.)  Only close relative is a sister and her two grown children.  Between waiting for an autopsy, and some personal problems, the executor hasn't been in contact with the sister in over a month.  Now I understand that the sister is getting anxious about what her brother died of, and when he can be buried.   Meanwhile, Sister's husband (and I suspect Sister herself) wants their son to come up and clean out the apartment as soon as possible.  There's some family heirlooms, son's oldest kids moved out and can use some of the furniture, it's costing the estate a couple of thousand dollars a month in rent.  What gets into the snowflake category is that  they don't know what is in the brother's will.  In fact, they don't know for sure if the will has been located yet. (Apparently, it is/was in the apartment.)  It may well be that the whole estate is going to a charity. 

Granted, the executor should be better at keeping in contact, if only to say that the autopsy hasn't been done yet, and the apartment is still considered a possible crime scene.  But being a person's only living relative is not a guarantee that you will be in the will.

I've been thinking about this. Is handling the news about the autopsy the executor's job? Same for getting the body released? Or is that the immediate family's job.

In my family the executors have tended to be the adult heirs, lawyer, and 1 or 2 family member 1 degree removed. (Dad's executors were Mom, our lawyer, and Dad's Sis/Brother-in-law Uncle J. Mom's were sis/me, our lawyer and Dad's Sis/Brother-in-law because Mom's relatives are in other countries) The heirs put the funerals together.

The only exception was Uncle Gibb - because his heirs were back in Mississippi - so Dad and Uncle J did handle putting the funeral together talking to uncle Gibb's sister and niece about what they wanted.  Since he already had a plot &  joint headstone with deceased his wife (our blood relative) things were pretty straight forward.  They also took care of the getting the body released (similar to this story so required autopsy), but I thought Dad said they had to get a POA from Gibb's sister to do that.
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Tosca

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #27479 on: June 17, 2014, 06:21:19 AM »
I have a good friend who works in Music.  Today he was STEAMED because a very Special Snowflake mother had contacted him.  He has previously done some Music coaching for her teenage daughter, who he describes as a nice girl and adequate at music, but not especially talented.

So today, Mother left a voice mail announcing that she needed the phone number of Internationally Renowned Musician that Friend worked with a couple of months ago...so that she can arrange for IRM to give her daughter lessons.

 :o

INTERNATIONALLY RENOWNED MUSICIAN DOES NOT GIVE LESSONS TO MEDIOCRE TEENAGERS, IDIOT WOMAN!  And Friend is particularly steamed because (apart from the insolence of assuming he would simply give out IRM's number to anyone who asks), this woman owes him several hundred dollars for the lessons he's given her daughter.