Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5387835 times)

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Mental Magpie

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28365 on: August 08, 2014, 05:14:18 PM »
I think I might be being a snowflake right now. :(

There's a new guy in one of my Skype chats who...well, quite frankly, I can't stand him. He comes off extremely elitist and snobbish, and gives me the feeling he's looking down on anyone who doesn't agree with him one hundred percent. While I try not to interact with this guy (let's call him M) too much, because I know he makes me angry as a wet cat and my keep-your-mouth-shut filter is bound to slip in that case, he was heavily involved in a conversation I was having with another member of the chat (we'll call her C) about a game we all play. This game contains timed missions, and while I really don't care for them, M enjoys them quite a bit. Unfortunately, when I said I'm rather bad at them and don't like time limits, M basically proceeded to tell me I'm doing it wrong, that they're really easy and I just need to practice them more.

Well, my filter slipped, and I did in fact say something rather vitriolic and, I admit it, very uncalled for, so I promptly retreated from the situation and spoke privately to C for a bit so I could calm down, then returned to the chat and apologized to M, saying that I knew what I had said was uncalled for.

M's response: "Yes, it was."

Here's where I feel snowflakey - I found that extremely rude, after I'd just taken the time to apologize to him and admit I knew it was uncalled for. I didn't need it rubbed in.

So, was I the snowflake here?

Yes - noone is obligated to accept your apology. It is nicer to do that but I was also once in a situation where I didn't accept the apology because I didn't care that he was sorry - what he did wasn't acceptable. I don't even remember what it was but I was upset about it for days at the time.

I don't think rejecting the apology is rude; the way he went about whatever it was he was doing was rude.  He could have simply said, "I cannot accept your apology" or "I accept your apology"; he didn't have to rub it in.

I guess I don't see stating a fact once as rubbing it in. She said it was uncalled for. He agreed. Sucks but he probably wasn't ready to accept an apology yet.

I see it as rubbing it in because it's like saying, "I fell off a pogostick and broke my arm," and someone replying, "You shouldn't have done that."  That would result in me thinking, "Obviously I shouldn't have done that, thanks for stating the obvious!"
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Shalamar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28366 on: August 08, 2014, 05:14:47 PM »
Heh.  When our daughter was a baby, my husband would get peeved if passers-by didn't smile at her and comment on how cute she was.

That said, I remember a waitress stopping to admire her and saying "She's so adorable!  *looks at my husband and me*  How did that happen?"  Oookay.

wolfie

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28367 on: August 08, 2014, 05:21:38 PM »
I think I might be being a snowflake right now. :(

There's a new guy in one of my Skype chats who...well, quite frankly, I can't stand him. He comes off extremely elitist and snobbish, and gives me the feeling he's looking down on anyone who doesn't agree with him one hundred percent. While I try not to interact with this guy (let's call him M) too much, because I know he makes me angry as a wet cat and my keep-your-mouth-shut filter is bound to slip in that case, he was heavily involved in a conversation I was having with another member of the chat (we'll call her C) about a game we all play. This game contains timed missions, and while I really don't care for them, M enjoys them quite a bit. Unfortunately, when I said I'm rather bad at them and don't like time limits, M basically proceeded to tell me I'm doing it wrong, that they're really easy and I just need to practice them more.

Well, my filter slipped, and I did in fact say something rather vitriolic and, I admit it, very uncalled for, so I promptly retreated from the situation and spoke privately to C for a bit so I could calm down, then returned to the chat and apologized to M, saying that I knew what I had said was uncalled for.

M's response: "Yes, it was."

Here's where I feel snowflakey - I found that extremely rude, after I'd just taken the time to apologize to him and admit I knew it was uncalled for. I didn't need it rubbed in.

So, was I the snowflake here?

Yes - noone is obligated to accept your apology. It is nicer to do that but I was also once in a situation where I didn't accept the apology because I didn't care that he was sorry - what he did wasn't acceptable. I don't even remember what it was but I was upset about it for days at the time.

I don't think rejecting the apology is rude; the way he went about whatever it was he was doing was rude.  He could have simply said, "I cannot accept your apology" or "I accept your apology"; he didn't have to rub it in.

I guess I don't see stating a fact once as rubbing it in. She said it was uncalled for. He agreed. Sucks but he probably wasn't ready to accept an apology yet.

I see it as rubbing it in because it's like saying, "I fell off a pogostick and broke my arm," and someone replying, "You shouldn't have done that."  That would result in me thinking, "Obviously I shouldn't have done that, thanks for stating the obvious!"

I see it more as you slapped me and then said "I shouldn't have hit you" and me saying "you are right - you shouldn't have" because you did hurt me and I am still in pain. I am acknowledging that you said something, but i am not letting you off the hook yet because I am still feeling the consequences of your actions.  She probably hurt his feelings and he wasn't going to pretend he was over it before he was ready. I don't see that as rubbing it in so much as acknowledging the sequence of events.

TeamBhakta

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28368 on: August 08, 2014, 07:11:30 PM »
Two snowflakes today. SS #1 almost slammed a shopping cart into me while I was grocery shopping, because she was talking on a cellphone. I said "excuse me" even though it wasn't my fault. SS comments to someone on phone, but pointedly at me,  "People keep not watching where they're going and running into me around here! *sarcastically at me* Thaaaannnnkkk you  >:( "

SS #2 was getting a sandwich made at Subway. She was not paying attention to what the employee was asking, because she was randomly chatting with her kid on the other side of me. SS waved off the employee asking "Would you like any condiments" and goes back to chatting with her kid. So when the employee closed the sandwich and tried to wrap it, SS shrieks "You didn't put mayo on! Why didn't you put mayo on before you added tomatoes! I wanted mayo before my tomatoes!" Poor employee apologized and fixed the sandwich. Is that enough for SS ? Nope. When SS went to pay, she tattled to a second employee at the cash register. She would not shut up about "She didn't put mayo on! I told her I wanted that but she didn't listen! How can you make a sandwich without asking if somebody wants sauces! She doesn't know to put tomato after mayo either!" The second employee had seen the whole thing and knew SS was being ridiculous, so she politely told SS "We'll make your sandwich however you like. We can always fix anything in your order at any point. Just let us know. You're in complete control of your order here the whole time." I almost fell over giggling at how that went straight over SS' head.   

pearls n purls

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28369 on: August 09, 2014, 02:31:34 AM »
A friend's one year old son was playing at a park with another baby who was about the same age.  Other baby slaps my friend's son.  My friend was right there, and automatically said "oh, no... we don't hit!" in a gentle voice.  The other baby starts to cry.  Other mom comes over, and my friend explained what happened.  The other mom got angry and said, "he doesn't like hearing the word 'no.'"  :(

Cherry91

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28370 on: August 09, 2014, 05:05:36 AM »
A friend's one year old son was playing at a park with another baby who was about the same age.  Other baby slaps my friend's son.  My friend was right there, and automatically said "oh, no... we don't hit!" in a gentle voice.  The other baby starts to cry.  Other mom comes over, and my friend explained what happened.  The other mom got angry and said, "he doesn't like hearing the word 'no.'"  :(

I did work experience at a nursery years ago, and the owner's daughter decided that an appropriate response to feeling I wasn't lavishing all of my attention on her was to ram her scooter into my shins as hard as she could. In quite a lot of pain, I told her off, never raising my voice, but I told her what she'd done was naughty. Her mother storms over and informs me that they do not use the word naughty at the nursery. I looked her in the eyes and told her I didn't have any other way of to describe intentionally whacking me in the legs with her scooter. She huffed and walked away.

I was glad to leave at the end of the day. Bet that kid grew up into a monster.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28371 on: August 09, 2014, 09:01:22 AM »
So apparently local authorities feel that the Abbey Road crossing is becoming unsafe and are thinking of adding additional traffic controls. 

http://news.yahoo.com/beatles-abbey-road-crossing-could-traffic-warden-105527662.html

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28372 on: August 09, 2014, 11:52:38 AM »
Found on my travel board today. Didn't last long--the mods got to it right away.

The post in its entirely was something like "travel help needed. [link to crowdfunding site]."  The pitch on the site was basically "my daughter has always wanted to go to Paris and I want to take her this fall. Help make it a reality."

What an interesting assumption that the world would like to fund a pleasure trip for a total stranger. Why would I want to do that? I'm afraid that it won't be possible, so my response (and that of world, so far) is complete silence.

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laughtermed

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28373 on: August 09, 2014, 03:51:42 PM »
Many times, myself included, people have sent their kids in with debit cards to grab some things. Sometimes with a note giving permission, other times, just a list. If a kid comes in with a debit card, and is buying food, I don't question it, but if a kid comes in with a debit card, and is buying a large amount of junk food, I will question that.

I have durable POA for MIL and have had to call companies to pay her bills. Many times they have not requested the document or verified my identity, but on the other hand, if a person calls to just pay a bill or get information so it can be paid, the representative figures it is for a legitmate reason.

Ceallach

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28374 on: August 09, 2014, 08:26:18 PM »
I would say many of us have used somebody's card for an approved purpose, or given somebody our card to use for an approved purpose, or are aware of such a situation.  There is a grey area that is just about practicality and common sense.  Like a PP I work in the homecare industry and this is sometimes done for shopping for the elderly etc too.

But actually outright going to the bank staff and asking them to give you cash from somebody else's account (card or no card!) and then complaining that they don't, is SS.

In the workplace one situation that arises a lot is that a booking is made under a CEO or senior execs name and credit card, but the support staff are the one making the booking and needing to make changes etc.  It's not uncommon for a PA to call and change Sandy Smith's booking (where Sandy is the execs name) without revealing that they aren't in fact Sandy Smith, in order for everything to be straightened out, rather than trying to explain that they have the authority to make changes on behalf of Sandy Smith and getting shut down.  It's a case of don't tell.  The company doesn't care as long as you have all of the required details for the transaction.   But as soon as you say "Oh I'm not Sandy I'm her assistant" they're going to want somebody on the phone saying "I'm Sandy and I authorise this transaction" before they'll let the change happen.  (I've literally had to do this - pick up the phone and say "Yes I'm Ceallach, yes it's fine to make that change" because the staff have mentioned that they're not the cardholder.  This is for bookings that have nothing to do with me e.g. made for one of the staff by one of the other staff, but on my official company card.  All the airline or whoever care about is that somebody claims to be me!  They don't care about any identifying questions or anything, just if somebody says they're *not* Sandy Smith then they can't do the transaction).
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dawbs

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28375 on: August 09, 2014, 09:53:16 PM »
Many times, myself included, people have sent their kids in with debit cards to grab some things. Sometimes with a note giving permission, other times, just a list. If a kid comes in with a debit card, and is buying food, I don't question it, but if a kid comes in with a debit card, and is buying a large amount of junk food, I will question that.

I have durable POA for MIL and have had to call companies to pay her bills. Many times they have not requested the document or verified my identity, but on the other hand, if a person calls to just pay a bill or get information so it can be paid, the representative figures it is for a legitmate reason.

Because of the 'grey area' other people mentioned, when I was a CSR (10 years ago now, I guess), I did a lot of careful 'don't ask, don't tell'.
If someone was calling me and trying to pay a bill and weren't the account holder, I would allow payment, but no information to go to that person.  As in, if a caller and wanted to know how much to pay to keep the account open, what the total amount due was, how far past due it was, details as to what service we were providing, I was going to have to see paperwork (which, FTR, would have been insanely easy to forge.  'Official" policy at that time was that if I got a fax that said it was OK, and was signed w the correct names, I could proceed) or get an OK from the account holder.

But if the caller just said "OK, here's a CC, to put $100 toward whatever is due", great, I could take the money.
(There were some occasional 'bends' to the rules, mostly in the direction of, "Well sir, for most active accounts, the bill is around $50 per month, usually $50 is enough for me to reactivate an account" sort of way--generalities. That usually happened, at least with me, when there were things like an adult child trying to take care of mom's phone bill, etc)

BeautifulDisaster

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28376 on: August 10, 2014, 06:54:09 PM »
I tend to get lucky enough to avoid most special snowflakes, but this past week I came across two..

SS #1 - The stairs.
On Tuesday afternoon I was in a horseback riding accident when my very young horse spooked at who knows what and I came off. I jammed one pelvic bone into another, strained the muscles in my upper back (across my shoulders) and bruised the left side of my neck trying to protect my head. I also hit my head and gave myself a lovely concussion. Wednesday I was at home after having gone to work, being sent to the doctor by my boss, then sent home by my doctor with instructions to schedule a head CT when the imaging center called me. In between being at the doc's office and coming home I picked up prescriptions for pain killers and a muscle relaxer. By the time the imaging center called me I had taken a muscle relaxer and two pain killers and was loopy as hell, so after scheduling the head CT I asked a friend to come and get me and drive me over there.

Now, I live on the second story. Walking in a straight line on a flat service was very painful, let alone walking up or down a flight of stairs. When I left someone else was walking toward the stairs, so I stopped and stepped to the side and told them to go ahead, while leaning heavily on the wall - it was very very obvious that I was in pain and moving slowly. I even said I was moving slowly so they would understand why I was inviting them to go ahead of me. The person insisted I go ahead because I was there first, I insisted she go, she kept insisting I go and we went back and forth a couple of times before I got annoyed and started making my way very carefully and slowly down the stairs.

I got to about the fourth step and Ms. SS behind me starts sighing. By the time I'm at the eighth step she's on the phone with someone about how I'm going so slow and don't I realize people have places to be? By the twelfth step she shoves past me, nearly knocking me over.

SS #2 - The parking spot.
We live in an apartment complex that offers limited free parking, lots of covered parking you pay for and quite a few garages you can also pay for. We have two cars and pay for one spot. My husband typically gets home before me and can snag a free spot and then I take our covered spot. This afternoon he leaves to go get lunch, taking our car that was parked in the covered spot, to ensure he had a place to park when he came back. He was gone maybe half an hour. When he came back there was a car parked in our spot. I called the courtesy officer and left a message. The courtesy officer came out, knocked on the door and as we were standing outside talking about whether or not we had seen the car before (I'm about 99% sure I have seen that here multiple times before, so sure in fact I think the person lives here), the owner of the car comes out of an apartment and goes to the car. The officer goes down the stairs and gets her attention. I stood there and listened, curious. Her reasons for parking in a spot someone ELSE is paying for? There was no where else to park (all the free spots close by were taken) and "she was only gone a minute". The officer told her if she parked in a covered spot again he'd have her towed.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28377 on: August 10, 2014, 07:21:50 PM »
I think I might be being a snowflake right now. :(

There's a new guy in one of my Skype chats who...well, quite frankly, I can't stand him. He comes off extremely elitist and snobbish, and gives me the feeling he's looking down on anyone who doesn't agree with him one hundred percent. While I try not to interact with this guy (let's call him M) too much, because I know he makes me angry as a wet cat and my keep-your-mouth-shut filter is bound to slip in that case, he was heavily involved in a conversation I was having with another member of the chat (we'll call her C) about a game we all play. This game contains timed missions, and while I really don't care for them, M enjoys them quite a bit. Unfortunately, when I said I'm rather bad at them and don't like time limits, M basically proceeded to tell me I'm doing it wrong, that they're really easy and I just need to practice them more.

Well, my filter slipped, and I did in fact say something rather vitriolic and, I admit it, very uncalled for, so I promptly retreated from the situation and spoke privately to C for a bit so I could calm down, then returned to the chat and apologized to M, saying that I knew what I had said was uncalled for.

M's response: "Yes, it was."

Here's where I feel snowflakey - I found that extremely rude, after I'd just taken the time to apologize to him and admit I knew it was uncalled for. I didn't need it rubbed in.

So, was I the snowflake here?

Yes - noone is obligated to accept your apology. It is nicer to do that but I was also once in a situation where I didn't accept the apology because I didn't care that he was sorry - what he did wasn't acceptable. I don't even remember what it was but I was upset about it for days at the time.

I don't think rejecting the apology is rude; the way he went about whatever it was he was doing was rude.  He could have simply said, "I cannot accept your apology" or "I accept your apology"; he didn't have to rub it in.

I guess I don't see stating a fact once as rubbing it in. She said it was uncalled for. He agreed. Sucks but he probably wasn't ready to accept an apology yet.

I see it as rubbing it in because it's like saying, "I fell off a pogostick and broke my arm," and someone replying, "You shouldn't have done that."  That would result in me thinking, "Obviously I shouldn't have done that, thanks for stating the obvious!"

I see it more as you slapped me and then said "I shouldn't have hit you" and me saying "you are right - you shouldn't have" because you did hurt me and I am still in pain. I am acknowledging that you said something, but i am not letting you off the hook yet because I am still feeling the consequences of your actions.  She probably hurt his feelings and he wasn't going to pretend he was over it before he was ready. I don't see that as rubbing it in so much as acknowledging the sequence of events.

I see your point.  I read it the same with the OP did, but I can see how it was meant the way you described.  I will be sure to consider that in the future if it happens to me again.  Thanks for enlightening me :)
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Gyburc

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28378 on: August 11, 2014, 05:31:25 AM »
A friend's one year old son was playing at a park with another baby who was about the same age.  Other baby slaps my friend's son.  My friend was right there, and automatically said "oh, no... we don't hit!" in a gentle voice.  The other baby starts to cry.  Other mom comes over, and my friend explained what happened.  The other mom got angry and said, "he doesn't like hearing the word 'no.'"  :(

Oh for goodness' sake... DH's youngest nephew (18 months old) doesn't like hearing the word 'no' - to the extent that he will throw himself on the floor crying if he simply hears someone near him say 'no' as part of a conversation. He still gets told 'no' when necessary, and the ensuing tantrum is ignored.
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Lady Snowdon

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28379 on: August 11, 2014, 06:34:56 AM »
A friend's one year old son was playing at a park with another baby who was about the same age.  Other baby slaps my friend's son.  My friend was right there, and automatically said "oh, no... we don't hit!" in a gentle voice.  The other baby starts to cry.  Other mom comes over, and my friend explained what happened.  The other mom got angry and said, "he doesn't like hearing the word 'no.'"  :(

Oh for goodness' sake... DH's youngest nephew (18 months old) doesn't like hearing the word 'no' - to the extent that he will throw himself on the floor crying if he simply hears someone near him say 'no' as part of a conversation. He still gets told 'no' when necessary, and the ensuing tantrum is ignored.

My sister in law initially tried never using the word "no" to her oldest daughter.  Everything was supposed to be distraction/redirection only.  At one point, I did the same thing with Marie, the daughter.  I said something like "No Marie, that's not for you.  Let's go check out the crayons!".  Immediate loud crying.  She ran to her mom, and my sister in law picks her up, gives me a dirty look and says "It's okay sweetie.  Auntie just said "No".  It doesn't mean she doesn't love you anymore!"  I sort of went all  :o

Things have changed a bit since then - Sister in law and her hubby now have a 3.5 year old who looks almost six due to her height, and so they've really had to be a bit more firm in how they react to finding her in dangerous/forbidden situations.