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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6754484 times)

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dawbs

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28365 on: August 09, 2014, 08:53:16 PM »
Many times, myself included, people have sent their kids in with debit cards to grab some things. Sometimes with a note giving permission, other times, just a list. If a kid comes in with a debit card, and is buying food, I don't question it, but if a kid comes in with a debit card, and is buying a large amount of junk food, I will question that.

I have durable POA for MIL and have had to call companies to pay her bills. Many times they have not requested the document or verified my identity, but on the other hand, if a person calls to just pay a bill or get information so it can be paid, the representative figures it is for a legitmate reason.

Because of the 'grey area' other people mentioned, when I was a CSR (10 years ago now, I guess), I did a lot of careful 'don't ask, don't tell'.
If someone was calling me and trying to pay a bill and weren't the account holder, I would allow payment, but no information to go to that person.  As in, if a caller and wanted to know how much to pay to keep the account open, what the total amount due was, how far past due it was, details as to what service we were providing, I was going to have to see paperwork (which, FTR, would have been insanely easy to forge.  'Official" policy at that time was that if I got a fax that said it was OK, and was signed w the correct names, I could proceed) or get an OK from the account holder.

But if the caller just said "OK, here's a CC, to put $100 toward whatever is due", great, I could take the money.
(There were some occasional 'bends' to the rules, mostly in the direction of, "Well sir, for most active accounts, the bill is around $50 per month, usually $50 is enough for me to reactivate an account" sort of way--generalities. That usually happened, at least with me, when there were things like an adult child trying to take care of mom's phone bill, etc)

BeautifulDisaster

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28366 on: August 10, 2014, 05:54:09 PM »
I tend to get lucky enough to avoid most special snowflakes, but this past week I came across two..

SS #1 - The stairs.
On Tuesday afternoon I was in a horseback riding accident when my very young horse spooked at who knows what and I came off. I jammed one pelvic bone into another, strained the muscles in my upper back (across my shoulders) and bruised the left side of my neck trying to protect my head. I also hit my head and gave myself a lovely concussion. Wednesday I was at home after having gone to work, being sent to the doctor by my boss, then sent home by my doctor with instructions to schedule a head CT when the imaging center called me. In between being at the doc's office and coming home I picked up prescriptions for pain killers and a muscle relaxer. By the time the imaging center called me I had taken a muscle relaxer and two pain killers and was loopy as hell, so after scheduling the head CT I asked a friend to come and get me and drive me over there.

Now, I live on the second story. Walking in a straight line on a flat service was very painful, let alone walking up or down a flight of stairs. When I left someone else was walking toward the stairs, so I stopped and stepped to the side and told them to go ahead, while leaning heavily on the wall - it was very very obvious that I was in pain and moving slowly. I even said I was moving slowly so they would understand why I was inviting them to go ahead of me. The person insisted I go ahead because I was there first, I insisted she go, she kept insisting I go and we went back and forth a couple of times before I got annoyed and started making my way very carefully and slowly down the stairs.

I got to about the fourth step and Ms. SS behind me starts sighing. By the time I'm at the eighth step she's on the phone with someone about how I'm going so slow and don't I realize people have places to be? By the twelfth step she shoves past me, nearly knocking me over.

SS #2 - The parking spot.
We live in an apartment complex that offers limited free parking, lots of covered parking you pay for and quite a few garages you can also pay for. We have two cars and pay for one spot. My husband typically gets home before me and can snag a free spot and then I take our covered spot. This afternoon he leaves to go get lunch, taking our car that was parked in the covered spot, to ensure he had a place to park when he came back. He was gone maybe half an hour. When he came back there was a car parked in our spot. I called the courtesy officer and left a message. The courtesy officer came out, knocked on the door and as we were standing outside talking about whether or not we had seen the car before (I'm about 99% sure I have seen that here multiple times before, so sure in fact I think the person lives here), the owner of the car comes out of an apartment and goes to the car. The officer goes down the stairs and gets her attention. I stood there and listened, curious. Her reasons for parking in a spot someone ELSE is paying for? There was no where else to park (all the free spots close by were taken) and "she was only gone a minute". The officer told her if she parked in a covered spot again he'd have her towed.

Mental Magpie

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28367 on: August 10, 2014, 06:21:50 PM »
I think I might be being a snowflake right now. :(

There's a new guy in one of my Skype chats who...well, quite frankly, I can't stand him. He comes off extremely elitist and snobbish, and gives me the feeling he's looking down on anyone who doesn't agree with him one hundred percent. While I try not to interact with this guy (let's call him M) too much, because I know he makes me angry as a wet cat and my keep-your-mouth-shut filter is bound to slip in that case, he was heavily involved in a conversation I was having with another member of the chat (we'll call her C) about a game we all play. This game contains timed missions, and while I really don't care for them, M enjoys them quite a bit. Unfortunately, when I said I'm rather bad at them and don't like time limits, M basically proceeded to tell me I'm doing it wrong, that they're really easy and I just need to practice them more.

Well, my filter slipped, and I did in fact say something rather vitriolic and, I admit it, very uncalled for, so I promptly retreated from the situation and spoke privately to C for a bit so I could calm down, then returned to the chat and apologized to M, saying that I knew what I had said was uncalled for.

M's response: "Yes, it was."

Here's where I feel snowflakey - I found that extremely rude, after I'd just taken the time to apologize to him and admit I knew it was uncalled for. I didn't need it rubbed in.

So, was I the snowflake here?

Yes - noone is obligated to accept your apology. It is nicer to do that but I was also once in a situation where I didn't accept the apology because I didn't care that he was sorry - what he did wasn't acceptable. I don't even remember what it was but I was upset about it for days at the time.

I don't think rejecting the apology is rude; the way he went about whatever it was he was doing was rude.  He could have simply said, "I cannot accept your apology" or "I accept your apology"; he didn't have to rub it in.

I guess I don't see stating a fact once as rubbing it in. She said it was uncalled for. He agreed. Sucks but he probably wasn't ready to accept an apology yet.

I see it as rubbing it in because it's like saying, "I fell off a pogostick and broke my arm," and someone replying, "You shouldn't have done that."  That would result in me thinking, "Obviously I shouldn't have done that, thanks for stating the obvious!"

I see it more as you slapped me and then said "I shouldn't have hit you" and me saying "you are right - you shouldn't have" because you did hurt me and I am still in pain. I am acknowledging that you said something, but i am not letting you off the hook yet because I am still feeling the consequences of your actions.  She probably hurt his feelings and he wasn't going to pretend he was over it before he was ready. I don't see that as rubbing it in so much as acknowledging the sequence of events.

I see your point.  I read it the same with the OP did, but I can see how it was meant the way you described.  I will be sure to consider that in the future if it happens to me again.  Thanks for enlightening me :)

Gyburc

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28368 on: August 11, 2014, 04:31:25 AM »
A friend's one year old son was playing at a park with another baby who was about the same age.  Other baby slaps my friend's son.  My friend was right there, and automatically said "oh, no... we don't hit!" in a gentle voice.  The other baby starts to cry.  Other mom comes over, and my friend explained what happened.  The other mom got angry and said, "he doesn't like hearing the word 'no.'"  :(

Oh for goodness' sake... DH's youngest nephew (18 months old) doesn't like hearing the word 'no' - to the extent that he will throw himself on the floor crying if he simply hears someone near him say 'no' as part of a conversation. He still gets told 'no' when necessary, and the ensuing tantrum is ignored.
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Lady Snowdon

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28369 on: August 11, 2014, 05:34:56 AM »
A friend's one year old son was playing at a park with another baby who was about the same age.  Other baby slaps my friend's son.  My friend was right there, and automatically said "oh, no... we don't hit!" in a gentle voice.  The other baby starts to cry.  Other mom comes over, and my friend explained what happened.  The other mom got angry and said, "he doesn't like hearing the word 'no.'"  :(

Oh for goodness' sake... DH's youngest nephew (18 months old) doesn't like hearing the word 'no' - to the extent that he will throw himself on the floor crying if he simply hears someone near him say 'no' as part of a conversation. He still gets told 'no' when necessary, and the ensuing tantrum is ignored.

My sister in law initially tried never using the word "no" to her oldest daughter.  Everything was supposed to be distraction/redirection only.  At one point, I did the same thing with Marie, the daughter.  I said something like "No Marie, that's not for you.  Let's go check out the crayons!".  Immediate loud crying.  She ran to her mom, and my sister in law picks her up, gives me a dirty look and says "It's okay sweetie.  Auntie just said "No".  It doesn't mean she doesn't love you anymore!"  I sort of went all  :o

Things have changed a bit since then - Sister in law and her hubby now have a 3.5 year old who looks almost six due to her height, and so they've really had to be a bit more firm in how they react to finding her in dangerous/forbidden situations. 

Sakuko

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28370 on: August 11, 2014, 06:49:18 AM »
That's an interesting reaction. My DS (8 month) seems to think no is one of the funniest words, but he does have an understanding what it means. I tell him "[son], no" when he goes somewhere he's not allowed (like near the power outlet), and he will stop and grin at you, but he usually obeys.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28371 on: August 11, 2014, 07:40:21 AM »
My 21-month-old has no problem with the word "no."  She regards it as a challenge.  <sigh>
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LadyDyani

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28372 on: August 11, 2014, 07:40:46 AM »
I tend to get lucky enough to avoid most special snowflakes, but this past week I came across two..

SS #1 - The stairs.
On Tuesday afternoon I was in a horseback riding accident when my very young horse spooked at who knows what and I came off. I jammed one pelvic bone into another, strained the muscles in my upper back (across my shoulders) and bruised the left side of my neck trying to protect my head. I also hit my head and gave myself a lovely concussion. Wednesday I was at home after having gone to work, being sent to the doctor by my boss, then sent home by my doctor with instructions to schedule a head CT when the imaging center called me. In between being at the doc's office and coming home I picked up prescriptions for pain killers and a muscle relaxer. By the time the imaging center called me I had taken a muscle relaxer and two pain killers and was loopy as hell, so after scheduling the head CT I asked a friend to come and get me and drive me over there.

Now, I live on the second story. Walking in a straight line on a flat service was very painful, let alone walking up or down a flight of stairs. When I left someone else was walking toward the stairs, so I stopped and stepped to the side and told them to go ahead, while leaning heavily on the wall - it was very very obvious that I was in pain and moving slowly. I even said I was moving slowly so they would understand why I was inviting them to go ahead of me. The person insisted I go ahead because I was there first, I insisted she go, she kept insisting I go and we went back and forth a couple of times before I got annoyed and started making my way very carefully and slowly down the stairs.

I got to about the fourth step and Ms. SS behind me starts sighing. By the time I'm at the eighth step she's on the phone with someone about how I'm going so slow and don't I realize people have places to be? By the twelfth step she shoves past me, nearly knocking me over.

SS #2 - The parking spot.
We live in an apartment complex that offers limited free parking, lots of covered parking you pay for and quite a few garages you can also pay for. We have two cars and pay for one spot. My husband typically gets home before me and can snag a free spot and then I take our covered spot. This afternoon he leaves to go get lunch, taking our car that was parked in the covered spot, to ensure he had a place to park when he came back. He was gone maybe half an hour. When he came back there was a car parked in our spot. I called the courtesy officer and left a message. The courtesy officer came out, knocked on the door and as we were standing outside talking about whether or not we had seen the car before (I'm about 99% sure I have seen that here multiple times before, so sure in fact I think the person lives here), the owner of the car comes out of an apartment and goes to the car. The officer goes down the stairs and gets her attention. I stood there and listened, curious. Her reasons for parking in a spot someone ELSE is paying for? There was no where else to park (all the free spots close by were taken) and "she was only gone a minute". The officer told her if she parked in a covered spot again he'd have her towed.

Goodness! I hope you're feeling better!
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whatsanenigma

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28373 on: August 11, 2014, 07:51:12 AM »
I would say many of us have used somebody's card for an approved purpose, or given somebody our card to use for an approved purpose, or are aware of such a situation.  There is a grey area that is just about practicality and common sense.  Like a PP I work in the homecare industry and this is sometimes done for shopping for the elderly etc too.

My sister ended up being a special snowflake in this type of situation, but she didn't ask for it-the cashier just volunteered.

My parents adopted one of their grandchildren when she was a small baby.  My mother usually went to the same small grocery store in town, with baby in the cart (as people do with babies) and the employees  knew both of them well.

The time came when my mother needed a gall bladder operation, and so my sister (not the mother of the child!) took care of the baby and ran various errands for mom.  In the grocery store, the cashier knew very well that my sister was not the cardholder, and was in a dilemma about what to do.  My sister was trying to think of what to do to solve this problem-did she maybe have enough in her own checking account to pay for it? And then...

The cashier looked at the baby, and looked back at my sister.  And then she said, "If you've got permission to be out with her baby, you must have permission to be out using her debit card!" and all finished well.

I've never heard of a baby being used that way before, but it worked.

Cherry91

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28374 on: August 11, 2014, 08:12:03 AM »
I would say many of us have used somebody's card for an approved purpose, or given somebody our card to use for an approved purpose, or are aware of such a situation.  There is a grey area that is just about practicality and common sense.  Like a PP I work in the homecare industry and this is sometimes done for shopping for the elderly etc too.

My sister ended up being a special snowflake in this type of situation, but she didn't ask for it-the cashier just volunteered.

My parents adopted one of their grandchildren when she was a small baby.  My mother usually went to the same small grocery store in town, with baby in the cart (as people do with babies) and the employees  knew both of them well.

The time came when my mother needed a gall bladder operation, and so my sister (not the mother of the child!) took care of the baby and ran various errands for mom.  In the grocery store, the cashier knew very well that my sister was not the cardholder, and was in a dilemma about what to do.  My sister was trying to think of what to do to solve this problem-did she maybe have enough in her own checking account to pay for it? And then...

The cashier looked at the baby, and looked back at my sister.  And then she said, "If you've got permission to be out with her baby, you must have permission to be out using her debit card!" and all finished well.

I've never heard of a baby being used that way before, but it worked.

The logic seems sound enough...
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Gyburc

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28375 on: August 11, 2014, 08:30:47 AM »
That's an interesting reaction. My DS (8 month) seems to think no is one of the funniest words, but he does have an understanding what it means. I tell him "[son], no" when he goes somewhere he's not allowed (like near the power outlet), and he will stop and grin at you, but he usually obeys.

Little G (nearly 9 months) definitely does understand that 'no' is an important word, but he keeps forgetting what it means! :-)
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audhs

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28376 on: August 11, 2014, 08:43:01 AM »
My 21-month-old has no problem with the word "no."  She regards it as a challenge.  <sigh>
Lol my littlest is the same age and is the same way.

She has been a sweet compliant "easy" baby since birth, until this last week.  Oh my, we have decided to assert our independence in all situations. Sigh.  ;)

deadbody

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28377 on: August 11, 2014, 08:59:10 AM »
So I am not sure if I should be the SS here, or the woman in front of me in line at the post office.

Obviously I am in line at the post office, a woman is ahead of me, and they call next.  The woman ahead of me doesn't move, the cashier calls next again, and the woman still doesn't move.  I lean over he shoulder a bit and see she is engrossed on facebook on her phone.  I say "You are next" she doesn't move.  The cashier calls again, and the person behind me says "Hey it's your turn" the woman is still blithely reading her friends status updates.  At that point I just move around her and go up to the window.  Once I get there and start my transaction she suddenly notices that someone moved in front of her, and is very peeved and starts to complain to the other people in line.  The cashier to her credit just smiled and finished my transaction before calling her up.

Was I SS for moving past someone who wasn't paying attention? Or was the woman SS for not paying attention.


audhs

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28378 on: August 11, 2014, 09:01:22 AM »
It was her, completely.  Both you and the other customers made a good faith effort to get her attention.  People not paying attention to what's going on around them annoy the heck out of me.

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #28379 on: August 11, 2014, 09:01:52 AM »
If you hadn't tried to get her attention, I'd say you would have been rude.  You were fine, IMO.
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