Listen my dear friends to the story of Special Nathan, a special student, with some very special ideas about his importance as a undeclared major at a top 10 university.
Special Nathan was special only b/c he believed he was very special and therefore rules and regulations did not apply to him and the concerns of the many were outweighed by his petty desires. As a result of registering late one semester (again) Special Nathan could not get into one of the classes he wanted. He asks my co-worker, who works with late registration to add him to a full class. She says she cannot b/c he is low on the waitlist and if any spaces open up they will go first to the upperclassmen who need the class to graduate (like a senior in their last semester), then down the line eventually coming to him, the lowly sophmore who wants to take it as an elective.
Special Nathan does not like this response as it denies him his helicoptering-parentage-given-right to instananeous wish fulfillment at the expense of all others. so he goes to my friend's Director of undergrad studies. The Director says "Sorry Special Nathan, staffer was right, seniors who need this to graduate get it first. you can take it another semester. register on time next time and that will help." Well Special Nathan doesn't like this at all, so he goes to the Chair who says, "Who are you and why aren't you talking to the director of undergrad? You should have registered on time." Special Nathan is mortally offended and goes to a Dean, who says "Your Director and her assistant gave you the correct answer. Stop being a baby and take it later. And register on time!"
Well Special Nathan can't have that sort of reality entering his Special Nathan World, so he writes a really nice, poorly spelled, absurd letter to the PROVOST saying the my co-worker friend is a horrible, big, bag, meanie who has the power to enroll him in this class ahead of seniors who need it to graduate but she won't do it b/c she is had gone insane with the heady rush of registration power and she must be stopped at all costs!!! The Provost calls the Director of undergrad studies in our departmen and says, "Who the hell is Special Nathan? Tell him to get over it and never contact my office again. I mean he didn't even register on time. That Sucks Twinkie Doo!?"
Special Nathan's letter was forwarded by the Provost to the Dean, to the Chair, to the Director...who forwarded it down to my co-worker, but only after calling Special Nathan into her office to explain that bringing himself to the attention of the Chair, Dean, and Provost in this manner was not conducive to a successful academic future, nor was writing immature and fantasical emails about valued employees going to endear him to any staffer in the department b/c we all knew about it. The next time Special Nathan came in wanting some assistance from my co-worker she pointed to his letter, which she had tacked up on her bulletin board with the big red title "How Not to Behave in College" from the Chair written on it. He left without asking for help...I don't believe he ever came back again.
The End.
