Working in a call center for a communications company (cable/phone/internet) I get my share of special snowflakes every day. Mostly it's people who want us to drop *everything* and send a tech to their house for a minor issue. This guy was nuts though ...
SS calls me to find out why his services aren't working. SS is in a very small tow outside of one of the larger towns we service (seriously, there was maybe 50 customers in his whole town) and there was maintenance being done on the lines that ran from the larger town to the smaller town. This was nearing the end of my shift which meant it was after midnight. Usually that is when maintenance like this is scheduled to be done because it will impact the least amount of people. I informed SS that it was temporary and should be back up in a few hours. From most people, I get "OK, I guess I should be getting to bed anyway." Some people ask for a credit for the time service was out, but usually give up on that when they find out the credit will be very small due to service only being out for a short time. I'm still happy to give people a credit, it's just that it usually is less than $2 ($100 per month for all three services divided by 30 days divided by 24 hours.) This is not good enough for SS.
SS informs me (at the top of his lungs) that he was in the middle of a very important business deal that required both his internet and his television services (he did not have our phone service). I might have believed him but he goes on to scream that he was trading on the stock market and that his trades were affected by the outcome of the presidential primaries that day. This is when I lost any sympathy for him. Remember, it is after midnight so the American stock market is closed and has been for hours. Also, the primaries are over already, the votes have been counted, and a winner declared so all he was watching was 24 hour news coverage of the all the speeches that were made hours and hours ago.
I still would have just rolled my eyes and ignored him but then SS demands that we reimburse him for the business deal that he lost out on because of us. This isn't going to happen, it's really not our fault if somebody wants to conduct business in the middle of the night, we will just give them a credit for what they paid us, but just out of curiosity I ask SS what amount he would like to be reimbursed and figure we can go from there, some times I can negotiate a credit for inconvenience sake. SS wants $1,000,000.
I had to hit the mute button on my phone because I started laughing. I thought he was joking. Nope. SS really wanted a million dollars because his internet and TV had been off for less than an hour.
He screamed and yelled at me that he would have my job if he wasn't given the credit. Nevermind that I was in more danger of losing my job if I *did* give him a million dollars, but I digress. After screaming at me for about a half an hour and realizing that there was no way he was going to bully me into giving him a credit of any sort besides what was due to him, SS hung up on me. And immediately called back to speak with somebody else. At this hour there was only one other somebody and he was sitting in the desk behind me and had been laughing at SS's ridiculous demands along with me. SS tries to tell coworker that I was a big meanie and I was rude to him and he wanted to speak to the owner of the company. (Um, no. We aren't going to call the corporate office to get his home phone number so we can wake him up to deal with your BS.) He then demands to speak to co-worker's superior ... that would be me ... Nevermind, he wants to speak to *my* superior. Well, he's not here right now but we will certainly send him an email and have him pull the call (they are all recorded) and he will call you back after reviewing the situation. SS suddenly decided that the credit I had offered him for the actual service charges was good enough.
Seriously though, who honestly thinks that their cable company is going to give them a million dollars for a minor inconvenience? He's become a bit of a running joke between me, coworker, and another coworker from another department who heard the whole thing. Anytime somebody asks for something ridiculous we do a Dr. Evil impression and ask for "One *million* dollars!"