Special Snowflake Stories

[kherbert05]

Thank you for posting that. I also get annoyed by the suggestion that picky eaters were "spoiled" by permissive parents.

Why? A lot of them are.

A good number more than you might be aware of aren't they are super tasters, issues with textures, or have allergies. In my case the docs wouldn't even test me till I was a teenager - and the skin senstivity test sent me into shock and they had to administer epi .There are other tests now but they involve blood draws, and insurance won't always approve because they are more expensive. Believe me knowing that some foods can kill you and that others make you want to rip off your skin because of the itching - can severely limit what you want to try. Add idiots that want to prove it is all in your head by hiding your allergen in your food and you breeding ground for serious trust and food issues.

[BabylonSister]

Thank you for posting that. I also get annoyed by the suggestion that picky eaters were "spoiled" by permissive parents.

Why? A lot of them are.

Because picky eaters are born that way.  At most the parents can get them to try new things, not make a disgusted face at the foods they dislike, and make an effort when they're guests. That won't turn them into non-picky eaters, just into civilized ones.

[CrochetFanatic]

When my brother was little, I resented him a great deal for being picky while I was expected to eat whatever was on my plate whether I liked it or not.  That was how it seemed to me at the time, anyway.  It probably wasn't as black and white as that, but I remember that he pretty much lived on chicken nuggets one year.  If there was a food he didn't like, or didn't want to try because he didn't like the look of it, he would just barely touch the tip of his tongue to it before making a sour face and crying, "Eugh!"  I guess it was just easier for our parents to fix him a plate of chicken nuggets so that he would have a full belly than to sit at the table for two hours trying to get him to try a brussel sprout.  In his defense, he was five.  Now he loves brussel sprouts, and there are only a couple things he absolutely will not eat.  One of them is mushrooms.  Which means that if we order a pizza that is half-pepperoni and half-mushroom, guess who eats more pepperoni than the rest of us?

I know I complain about him from time to time, but these days we're in cahoots more often than not! 

[Giggity]

I don't know any super tasters. I do know a lot of picky eaters who like to make a production of how picky they are and therefore how special.

Note: all the picky eaters I know are children. If I have picky adult friends, I don't know that I do, so by definition they're doing it right.

[Rohanna]

Picky eaters may be super-tasters, but it's not necessarily the case. I know people that claim that is why they are picky, but they will eat things that a true super-taster wouldn't touch, while claiming that their "super-tasting" is what makes them not eat something that has nothing to do with the mutation. It's rather like aspergers- there are *many* people for whom austism-spectrum disorders are a legitimate problem- but for every sufferer, there is another person who self-labels it to explain why they are a bit of a social misfit. Allergies? Celiac? The same thing. You wouldn't think this would be an issue- call yourself what you like- until you realize that it leads to misunderstanding and downplaying of the problems for people who truly suffer from it. When someone self-diagnosis incorrectly, it leads to a lot of people thinking "well, Judy has X, but she still does Y"... and some poor person with celiac gets served the wrong gravy.

[Giggity]

Exactly. Same reason I think it's wrong to say "I am allergic to tomatoes" when what you are is "a person who dislikes them." Dislike is NOT the same as allergy.

And yeah, I know about the stories of "I didn't used to like X and I got tested and I found out I'm allergic to it." Those are not what I'm talking about.

[Kendo_Bunny]

Picky eaters may be super-tasters, but it's not necessarily the case. I know people that claim that is why they are picky, but they will eat things that a true super-taster wouldn't touch, while claiming that their "super-tasting" is what makes them not eat something that has nothing to do with the mutation.

I'm not an overly picky eater myself, but I'm not a super-taster, I'm a super-smeller. I have an incredible sense of smell, so there are some foods I just can't bring myself to eat no matter what, because the smell is wrong for me. Asparagus, for example. I am also horrified by people eating whole crustaceans and black olives - it's a borderline phobic response that I'm not entirely sure why I have.

I think the picky eaters who were "spoiled by permissive/lazy parents" are easy to tell as the ones who whine loudly over other people's food choices, make faces, and go "EWWWWW" over anything they don't want to eat. No matter how you feel about types of food (or your taste sensitivity, allergies, etc), you should have been taught a polite "No, thank you", or "What's in that? Oh, I'm sorry, I can't. My doctor has told me I must never eat shellfish, or risk an ER visit. I would hate to spoil the party, but it looks delicious". I know some outrageously picky eaters as adults, but none of them ever make a production over the fact that I'm eating food they wouldn't touch with a 10-foot pole.

[VorFemme]

   Several of the crafters in my family have had a tradition of decorating a small ( table top) tree with "take away" ornaments, this has been a tradition for longer than I can remember ( I am 51) . These are hand made and range from the very simple to the very beautiful. The tradition is that each person who comes over is encouraged to take ONE ornament home with them. One per person is the rule.
   One aunt (Terry)  has the creativity to make several different types/designs for her tree. Today we had the family Christmas get together at this aunt's home and several folks noticed her tree was already down. Another aunt ( Beth) make the remark to Terry that she must have given all her "take out orders" away already. At this Terry told us the tale of Susie Snowflake and her mother. 
   Susie Snowflake's mother is the friend of a friend of Terry's who had asked Terry to alter a dress for Susie. Terry agreed and when Susie and Mommy Snowflake came for the fitting, they noticed the tree and Terry, following the tradition told them that they could have one each and went to her sewing room to get some of her tools for the fitting. When she returned she noticed that Susie had several ornaments in her hands and was trying to get more off the tree. Terry reminded her that she could only have one and Susie wanted to know "Why? I want one of each!" Terry replied the limit was one person so that everyone who came could have one. Susie's reply was "I don't CARE about other people, I want one of each!" complete with foot stamp and yelling.  Terry looked at Mommy Snowflake for help and Mommy just smiled. So Terry went over and gently removed all but one ornament from the child's grasp and invited them to leave her home.  At this point Mommy Snowflake spoke up with "If you would just give her what she wants, this could all be so simple."  Terry again told them that the rule is one person - and Susie at that point threw the ornament she was given at Terry and shouted "If I can't have all of those, I don't want any!" and at this point Terry TOLD them to leave.
  Terry was so upset about it, that rather than re-decorate the denuded tree, she just took it down, that was the first week of Advent - so most of Terry's Holiday guests were not able to participate in the 50+ year tradition because of the one greedy, indulged child and a mother who thinks nothing of her child's behavior.
 

That's so sad! I think that is a beautiful tradition and I hope it doesn't turn Terry off it forever. As to Susie and her mother, I don't believe I'd allow them in my home again.

Wow - if I ever behaved like that at someone's house, my mom would take me out so fast my head would have spun around!  It's sad that one bratty child, and her mom had to spoil things, but kudos to Terry for sticking to her guns, and not giving in!

And Susie & her Spineless Mother aren't getting Terry to alter any more clothing to fit the little SS, either.

[cass2591]

Thank you for posting that. I also get annoyed by the suggestion that picky eaters were "spoiled" by permissive parents.

Why? A lot of them are.

And you know this, how?

[weeblewobble]

   Several of the crafters in my family have had a tradition of decorating a small ( table top) tree with "take away" ornaments, this has been a tradition for longer than I can remember ( I am 51) . These are hand made and range from the very simple to the very beautiful. The tradition is that each person who comes over is encouraged to take ONE ornament home with them. One per person is the rule.
   One aunt (Terry)  has the creativity to make several different types/designs for her tree. Today we had the family Christmas get together at this aunt's home and several folks noticed her tree was already down. Another aunt ( Beth) make the remark to Terry that she must have given all her "take out orders" away already. At this Terry told us the tale of Susie Snowflake and her mother. 
   Susie Snowflake's mother is the friend of a friend of Terry's who had asked Terry to alter a dress for Susie. Terry agreed and when Susie and Mommy Snowflake came for the fitting, they noticed the tree and Terry, following the tradition told them that they could have one each and went to her sewing room to get some of her tools for the fitting. When she returned she noticed that Susie had several ornaments in her hands and was trying to get more off the tree. Terry reminded her that she could only have one and Susie wanted to know "Why? I want one of each!" Terry replied the limit was one person so that everyone who came could have one. Susie's reply was "I don't CARE about other people, I want one of each!" complete with foot stamp and yelling.  Terry looked at Mommy Snowflake for help and Mommy just smiled. So Terry went over and gently removed all but one ornament from the child's grasp and invited them to leave her home.  At this point Mommy Snowflake spoke up with "If you would just give her what she wants, this could all be so simple."  Terry again told them that the rule is one person - and Susie at that point threw the ornament she was given at Terry and shouted "If I can't have all of those, I don't want any!" and at this point Terry TOLD them to leave.
  Terry was so upset about it, that rather than re-decorate the denuded tree, she just took it down, that was the first week of Advent - so most of Terry's Holiday guests were not able to participate in the 50+ year tradition because of the one greedy, indulged child and a mother who thinks nothing of her child's behavior.
 

That's so sad! I think that is a beautiful tradition and I hope it doesn't turn Terry off it forever. As to Susie and her mother, I don't believe I'd allow them in my home again.

That's such a beautiful tradition!  I'm so sorry Susie and her mother ruined it. I hope your aunt goes back to it next year.  And I'm sure Susie's mother will find just how "simple" she has made her life in ten years when her daughter is a spoiled entitled woman-child.

[pearls n purls]

I believe this is a case of a true picky eater and not a super taster.

A coworker had gone on a university trip abroad with a small group.  One girl in the group refused to eat anywhere that was not an American chain restaurant.  The small group didn't want to split up, so the entire time they were there, they ate at McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Burger King, etc. instead of eating any local food.

(I would not have been so nice.  Trying new things is part of the experience for me.)

[Hillia]

I don't think I'm a picky eater, but I'm not an adventurous one.  The farthest I've gone is with my DS and DH over spicy food.  I cannot tolerate spicy food at all, just can't eat it.  There are one or two restaurants that have nothing on their  menus that isn't liberally dosed with spice - Chipotle is one - and there's no way to order the food plain, so I just won't go there.  If the object of the trip is for all of us to eat together, we need to find another place.

[weeblewobble]

I believe this is a case of a true picky eater and not a super taster.

A coworker had gone on a university trip abroad with a small group.  One girl in the group refused to eat anywhere that was not an American chain restaurant.  The small group didn't want to split up, so the entire time they were there, they ate at McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Burger King, etc. instead of eating any local food.

(I would not have been so nice.  Trying new things is part of the experience for me.)

I thought a group of my friends handled this sort of situation well when we all had to travel to a conference together for a semi-professional organization. Our organization gave us a per diem for food, and if we spent it sensibly, we could afford to go out for one nice meal together each night. Our problem came when one of the guys insisted that we had to eat fast food for every meal.  He wanted to save a portion of his per diem to pay off a phone bill when he got home, so he wanted to eat as cheaply as possible.  So instead of the lovely restaurants and pubs available, he wanted to go to Burger King every night.  He pitched a fit when he realized we weren't going to go along with this plan and cried, "But I can't AFFORD that place!" 

Our student leader reminded him that we'd all received the same amount of money to sustain us and he was choosing to spend less.  He was welcome to eat at Burger King, but the rest of us would continue with our plans. Cheapskate fussed and fretted, but didn't want to go to Burger King alone, so he came along, moaning and groaning the whole way about how his phone bill would go unpaid and it was all our fault.  He would sit at the table and loudly criticize the menu's prices as being ridiculous, then ordered the cheapest thing available, like a cup of soup.  Then he would complain that this wasn't enough food for him and he could have gotten a lot more at Burger King, so it was our fault that he would go hungry. 

He did this for two nights in a row before our leader pulled him aside and told him to cut it out.

[kherbert05]

I believe this is a case of a true picky eater and not a super taster.

A coworker had gone on a university trip abroad with a small group.  One girl in the group refused to eat anywhere that was not an American chain restaurant.  The small group didn't want to split up, so the entire time they were there, they ate at McDonald's, Pizza Hut, Burger King, etc. instead of eating any local food.

(I would not have been so nice.  Trying new things is part of the experience for me.)

I had the same problem in HS on trip to Greece and another to Scotland/England. Except it wasn't the kids - it was the chaperons. It was less of a problem in Greece - because there weren't as many US chains especially on the Islands. But the flipped out at a Greek food and dancing dinner we went to, because we were handed shot glasses of ouzo as we walked in. Everyone except a few of the seniors was under 18, which was the legal drinking age I think. Thing is I'm pretty sure that our unethical tour director* had lied to the venue and said we were a University group not a HS group. I don't think we would have been allowed in if they known we were all underaged. 


In England I flat out refused to walk into a McDonalds - which shocked everyone. I told them I didn't eat there in the US why would I travel across the Atlantic Ocean to eat it. I pointed out several places near by with similar prices but better food. Besides if they were going to keep dragging me to Laura Ashley shops instead of going to museums or historical sites, they could at least let me eat a decent meal. The Principal was in charge of our group - and shocked everyone by letting us to to a pub for lunch. We got to eat local restaurants the rest of the trip for lunch. (We had to stay with our grade-level group, instead of having different interest based groups).


*I witnessed her getting kick backs from various venues on both trips. I also saw her bribe guards in Greece.

[Piratelvr1121]

   Several of the crafters in my family have had a tradition of decorating a small ( table top) tree with "take away" ornaments, this has been a tradition for longer than I can remember ( I am 51) . These are hand made and range from the very simple to the very beautiful. The tradition is that each person who comes over is encouraged to take ONE ornament home with them. One per person is the rule.
   One aunt (Terry)  has the creativity to make several different types/designs for her tree. Today we had the family Christmas get together at this aunt's home and several folks noticed her tree was already down. Another aunt ( Beth) make the remark to Terry that she must have given all her "take out orders" away already. At this Terry told us the tale of Susie Snowflake and her mother. 
   Susie Snowflake's mother is the friend of a friend of Terry's who had asked Terry to alter a dress for Susie. Terry agreed and when Susie and Mommy Snowflake came for the fitting, they noticed the tree and Terry, following the tradition told them that they could have one each and went to her sewing room to get some of her tools for the fitting. When she returned she noticed that Susie had several ornaments in her hands and was trying to get more off the tree. Terry reminded her that she could only have one and Susie wanted to know "Why? I want one of each!" Terry replied the limit was one person so that everyone who came could have one. Susie's reply was "I don't CARE about other people, I want one of each!" complete with foot stamp and yelling.  Terry looked at Mommy Snowflake for help and Mommy just smiled. So Terry went over and gently removed all but one ornament from the child's grasp and invited them to leave her home.  At this point Mommy Snowflake spoke up with "If you would just give her what she wants, this could all be so simple."  Terry again told them that the rule is one person - and Susie at that point threw the ornament she was given at Terry and shouted "If I can't have all of those, I don't want any!" and at this point Terry TOLD them to leave.
  Terry was so upset about it, that rather than re-decorate the denuded tree, she just took it down, that was the first week of Advent - so most of Terry's Holiday guests were not able to participate in the 50+ year tradition because of the one greedy, indulged child and a mother who thinks nothing of her child's behavior.
 

The bolded just made my jaw drop. Depending on Susie's age, her actions could be forgiven. But her mother's reaction is doing her daughter a disservice so huge it's out of this world.

 Susie in third grade. Old enough to know better.

She sounds like Veruca Salt from Willy Wonka.  "Don't care how, I want it NOW!"

As for picky eating, I think sometimes it can be due to permissive parents while other times it's because the child has a lot of legitimate aversions.  My parents made me eat whatever was served but when my brother came around and only wanted to eat a few select things, they didn't make him eat what was served.   So they'd tell me "Eat your veggies, we don't care if you think it tastes funny!" whereas if my brother turned up his nose he got chicken nuggets and plain noodles.  He learned that he could get whatever he wanted if he refused what they put on his plate.

When he was 11 he gave up the picky eating and would eat whatever was served and hasn't been picky ever since. Incidentally that's around the time he was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and hit a big growth spurt so I think combined they had a lot to do with giving up his picky ways.