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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6742425 times)

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ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18750 on: January 07, 2013, 10:59:28 AM »
Thank you for posting that. I also get annoyed by the suggestion that picky eaters were "spoiled" by permissive parents.

Why? A lot of them are.


Because picky eaters are born that way.  At most the parents can get them to try new things, not make a disgusted face at the foods they dislike, and make an effort when they're guests. That won't turn them into non-picky eaters, just into civilized ones.

For any parents that have accomplished this, thank you. There are people I socialize with in their 30s and 40s who haven't learned the bolded.

Elfmama

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18751 on: January 07, 2013, 12:20:43 PM »
Thank you for posting that. I also get annoyed by the suggestion that picky eaters were "spoiled" by permissive parents.

Why? A lot of them are.

And you know this, how?

Of the ones I know, as I said above all children, I know their parents and I've seen it happen. "Oh honey, it's okay, you don't have to eat the nasty grown-up food if you want, I'll make you some mac and cheese." Where I come from, making an entire extra meal to cater to a child's want is spoiling the child.
Yes, that's spoiling a child. My kids had dislikes, like everyone does.  If they didn't want to eat the veggie that I know they didn't like, they didn't have to.  But they DID have to eat the rest of the meal.  If they didn't do anything but drink their milk and then claim "full", they got told that children who are too full to eat their dinner are too full for dessert or anything else until the next meal.  (And they're raising their sons the same way.)

And I don't remember that restaurants 30 years ago had special children's menus, all the same 6 or 7 things like mac'n'cheese and chicken nuggets.  When they were little, we either shared what was on our plates with them or ordered an entree for them to split. By the time we went to England, they were adventurous eaters who would at least try almost anything.
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Ambrosia Hino

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18752 on: January 07, 2013, 12:39:48 PM »
*trimmed*

And I don't remember that restaurants 30 years ago had special children's menus, all the same 6 or 7 things like mac'n'cheese and chicken nuggets.  When they were little, we either shared what was on our plates with them or ordered an entree for them to split. By the time we went to England, they were adventurous eaters who would at least try almost anything.

And that is roughly what I do with my son and hopefully it will hold up as he gets older. I do skim the "kid's menu" to see if there is anything there I want him to have, but he still ends up with something similar to what we're eating, in a smaller portion. I had to deal with my brother being an insanely picky eater growing up and I refuse to deal with that again. DH is picky, but can order for himself, pick out stuff he doesn't like, or quietly avoid it.

On the special snowflake front, I guess staying home sick most of the past 2 weeks has let me miss out on any spectacular specialness. The worst I can think of was the aquiantance at a Christmas party who bought some very dirty presents for the Dirty Santa game, and thought other people's discomfort was hilarious. I'm just glad I was able to swap mine for some earrings, but now I know way too much about the person I swapped with and their ideas of fun.

Kaora

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18753 on: January 07, 2013, 01:07:59 PM »
There are a couple of bits like that near me - they go round the edge of the roundabouts but separated by a media so you don't have anyone to give way to.  I was driving behind someone and we hit two within half a mile and this person stopped at both.  Bearing in mind it was a 50mph road so I've got vehicle s coming at me at that speed and this guy won't move!!!

When my mother came down for DD#1's graduation from high school, we were driving up a 2 lane highway, with a center passing and turning lane for a short portion of it.  This was a road that a LOT of the big rigs that service farms use - these are large vehicles, and many of them are fully loaded when using this road, so stopping quickly is NOT going to happen.  Mom and I were coming up on the passing and turn lane, and somebody from the housing complex swung out into the lane, and stopped, waiting for us and the farm trucks to pass by so they could enter the driving lane.  Mom comes to a screeching halt IN the DRIVING lane, thinking that the car in the turn lane is in front of us, instead of one lane left of us.  I tell her that the car is next to, not in front of us, AND there are big rigs bearing down behind us and we're going to be hamburger very soon if she doesn't motivate asap!  I got her to get moving again just as the truck behind us started honking and using his brakes, and we got out of there.  I nearly wet my pants...  Mom really did not believe me that the other car was next to us, even as she passed him still sitting there. 

That was the last time any of us got in the car with her driving.  I told the girls they weren't allowed any more, I told Mom that none of us would be riding with her anymore, and I wrote a letter to the DMV describing our close call.  DMV didn't do anything about it.  I finally got Mom's car away from her after her 2nd hip replacement, when dementia had become obvious and was confirmed by the doctor in a letter I took to the DMV.  It was nearly 5 years after that first close call.  In that time, she totaled the car she had, and had no clue how the accident had happened.  She had her license suspended until she took 2 classes mandated by the DMV, and got another car, which she had a few more accidents in, and again did not know how they had happened.  She got lost while traveling to our house for Christmas, and couldn't tell me how she got lost, and didn't have a good reason for not leaving hours earlier so she'd get to our place before dark.  It was a long and frustrating period that I spent wondering if she was going to get into an accident that hurt somebody.

Still catching up, but that is sad.  My grandparents got lost on the way here for Christmas.  New grandma I can forgive, since she hasn't lived in DesertTown for more than a year at this point.  But Grandpa?  He transferred here when my mum was in Highschool, is why we live here in the first place, and has driven to our house many many times.  Its not like we've ever moved, either, and there's around 3, feasible, direct routes, plus some awful number of scenic routes.  Mum's looking to have Grandma and Grandpa put under care, though this has angered him to no end.  Nevermind any other scary incidents that have happened recently with them... :'(

Miss March

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18754 on: January 07, 2013, 01:09:13 PM »
Witnessed at my local library. Someone had used Inter-library loan to request season two of "Downton Abbey" and it was visible on the Special Orders shelf behind the front desk. SS was the woman standing at the counter, arguing with the librarian that she wanted to check out the dvds. The librarian kept explaining that those dvds were being held for the person who requested them, and if SS wanted to check them out, she would need to reserve them herself and wait her turn. The SS was pulling this whole "Don't you know who I am?" attitude with the librarian, who stayed composed through the whole thing. Finally SS stomped off making some angry remark about how she'd just buy the dvds and not need to come back to the library anymore. I hope she meant it- I don't think the library staff particularly wants her to come back!
I assume you heard the way she spoke to me at dinner.
Of course, but how does it help to answer rudeness with rudeness?             --Downton Abbey

Spring Water on Sundays

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18755 on: January 07, 2013, 01:26:48 PM »
Witnessed at my local library. Someone had used Inter-library loan to request season two of "Downton Abbey" and it was visible on the Special Orders shelf behind the front desk. SS was the woman standing at the counter, arguing with the librarian that she wanted to check out the dvds. The librarian kept explaining that those dvds were being held for the person who requested them, and if SS wanted to check them out, she would need to reserve them herself and wait her turn. The SS was pulling this whole "Don't you know who I am?" attitude with the librarian, who stayed composed through the whole thing. Finally SS stomped off making some angry remark about how she'd just buy the dvds and not need to come back to the library anymore. I hope she meant it- I don't think the library staff particularly wants her to come back!

Considering she pays the same taxes to support the library whether she uses it or not, I'm not really sure what kind of point she's trying to make.

Emmy

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18756 on: January 07, 2013, 01:27:03 PM »
Thank you for posting that. I also get annoyed by the suggestion that picky eaters were "spoiled" by permissive parents.

Why? A lot of them are.

And you know this, how?

Of the ones I know, as I said above all children, I know their parents and I've seen it happen. "Oh honey, it's okay, you don't have to eat the nasty grown-up food if you want, I'll make you some mac and cheese." Where I come from, making an entire extra meal to cater to a child's want is spoiling the child.
Yes, that's spoiling a child. My kids had dislikes, like everyone does.  If they didn't want to eat the veggie that I know they didn't like, they didn't have to.  But they DID have to eat the rest of the meal.  If they didn't do anything but drink their milk and then claim "full", they got told that children who are too full to eat their dinner are too full for dessert or anything else until the next meal.  (And they're raising their sons the same way.)

And I don't remember that restaurants 30 years ago had special children's menus, all the same 6 or 7 things like mac'n'cheese and chicken nuggets.  When they were little, we either shared what was on our plates with them or ordered an entree for them to split. By the time we went to England, they were adventurous eaters who would at least try almost anything.

It's unfair to assume it is just the parents that make kids a picky eater.  I was raised in a household where we were expected to try everything and special meals were not made for the picky.  I ate almost everything and enjoyed it while my brother only liked a few things and would often be stubborn about eating if the food was not his preference.  My brother was still picky, he just wasn't catered to and there were unpleasant dinner table battles of trying to get him to eat.  I know other parents with picky kids who would cater to them because the kids wouldn't eat anything at all and they were afraid for their health.

twiggy

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18757 on: January 07, 2013, 01:30:19 PM »
I came across an SS driver today. I was stopped at a red light, and the millisecond that the light turned green the car next to me started honking for me to go. SS horn honker was in a left turn lane, but wanted to get into my lane and go straight instead. Even with my "delay" I was still the first vehicle to enter the intersection, so it's not like I was sitting there ignoring the green.
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

Shalamar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18758 on: January 07, 2013, 02:46:23 PM »
My older daughter was a special kind of picky eater.  When she was little and didn't want to eat what we were having, we tried the "It's either this or nothing" routine.  She said "Okay!" and happily hopped down from her chair to go play.  We said "Um ... that means NOTHING.  No coming to us later and saying you're hungry."  "Okay!"  And she meant it, too.   If she ever did get hungry later, we didn't hear about it.    Meanwhile, I was fretting about starving my kid.  :)

mmswm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18759 on: January 07, 2013, 03:11:27 PM »
My older daughter was a special kind of picky eater.  When she was little and didn't want to eat what we were having, we tried the "It's either this or nothing" routine.  She said "Okay!" and happily hopped down from her chair to go play.  We said "Um ... that means NOTHING.  No coming to us later and saying you're hungry."  "Okay!"  And she meant it, too.   If she ever did get hungry later, we didn't hear about it.    Meanwhile, I was fretting about starving my kid.  :)

My youngest son is like this. It drives me up a wall.
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Hmmmmm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18760 on: January 07, 2013, 03:18:12 PM »
My older daughter was a special kind of picky eater.  When she was little and didn't want to eat what we were having, we tried the "It's either this or nothing" routine.  She said "Okay!" and happily hopped down from her chair to go play.  We said "Um ... that means NOTHING.  No coming to us later and saying you're hungry."  "Okay!"  And she meant it, too.   If she ever did get hungry later, we didn't hear about it.    Meanwhile, I was fretting about starving my kid.  :)

Both of my kids were like this.  They'd happily go hungry for 4 hours between meals before they'd eat something they didn't want.  Food was not a priority for them once they were older than 2.  My son would happily eat just about any protein or fruit you'd put in front of him.  But he was not going to have anything to do with vegetables other than brocolli (go figure).  His pediatrician said to not worry about it but of course I did because I WANTED one of those kids who happily ate their salads, carrots, peas, beans.  One of the Ped's nurses told me the problem was that he knew he just had to go a few hours before he could fill up on protein and carbs again so what I needed to do was only offer him protein for breakfast then at lunch and dinner, only offer vegetables and limit his milk to 8 oz at breakfast/lunch/dinner and afternoon snack.  Let me tell you, a 4 year old can go for 3 days on a breakfast of a sausage link, an egg, a slice of toast and 4 glasses of milk without complaining about being hungry.  After 3 days, my DH and I were both tired of vegetarian dinners and I was worried sick he was going to starve so reconcilled that he was going to never be a big vegetable eater.  What I later discovered when he was around 6 was that most vegetables were too mild of a flavor for him.  He likes bolder flavors so his favorites are brocolli, cauliflower, collard greens, cabbage and spinach, things I had been conditioned to believe were kid's least favorite vegetables so didn't cook often (except brocolli because that was his older sister's favorite veggie too).  I mean if I couldn't get him to eat mashed potatoes, what chance did cauliflower have? Oh well, live and learn.

StuffedGrapeLeaves

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18761 on: January 07, 2013, 03:25:21 PM »
My older daughter was a special kind of picky eater.  When she was little and didn't want to eat what we were having, we tried the "It's either this or nothing" routine.  She said "Okay!" and happily hopped down from her chair to go play.  We said "Um ... that means NOTHING.  No coming to us later and saying you're hungry."  "Okay!"  And she meant it, too.   If she ever did get hungry later, we didn't hear about it.    Meanwhile, I was fretting about starving my kid.  :)

Both of my kids were like this.  They'd happily go hungry for 4 hours between meals before they'd eat something they didn't want.  Food was not a priority for them once they were older than 2.  My son would happily eat just about any protein or fruit you'd put in front of him.  But he was not going to have anything to do with vegetables other than brocolli (go figure).  His pediatrician said to not worry about it but of course I did because I WANTED one of those kids who happily ate their salads, carrots, peas, beans.  One of the Ped's nurses told me the problem was that he knew he just had to go a few hours before he could fill up on protein and carbs again so what I needed to do was only offer him protein for breakfast then at lunch and dinner, only offer vegetables and limit his milk to 8 oz at breakfast/lunch/dinner and afternoon snack.  Let me tell you, a 4 year old can go for 3 days on a breakfast of a sausage link, an egg, a slice of toast and 4 glasses of milk without complaining about being hungry.  After 3 days, my DH and I were both tired of vegetarian dinners and I was worried sick he was going to starve so reconcilled that he was going to never be a big vegetable eater.  What I later discovered when he was around 6 was that most vegetables were too mild of a flavor for him.  He likes bolder flavors so his favorites are brocolli, cauliflower, collard greens, cabbage and spinach, things I had been conditioned to believe were kid's least favorite vegetables so didn't cook often (except brocolli because that was his older sister's favorite veggie too).  I mean if I couldn't get him to eat mashed potatoes, what chance did cauliflower have? Oh well, live and learn.

You just gave me hope.  My DS is exactly like this.   We tried everything but he would go hungry or not eat over eating something he doesn't like.   Maybe there is hope for DS and vegetables after all. 

PastryGoddess

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18762 on: January 07, 2013, 03:37:10 PM »
Can we please move the picky eater conversation to another thread?
Maryland

mmswm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18763 on: January 07, 2013, 06:06:15 PM »
I'm currently waiting in an emergency room waiting room.  My 11 year old sister decided to race my 10 year old brother and my 10 year old son across the yard, but she was wearing flip flops and tripped, landing face first on a rock.  My mother can't drive due to recent ankle surgery, so my father stayed with the boys while I drove my mother and sister.

So, I drop my mother and sister off at the entry way and race to find a parking spot, which thankfully took all 30 seconds because there was an open handicapped spot right up front.  I came in just in time to see this woman literally shove my mother out of the way to get to the registration desk first.  My mother is 64 years old, has her left foot in a walking cast and her right knee in a brace (30 year old knee replacement that needs to be replaced again).  Now, if this woman's kid looked like he was at all sick, I might understand, but the kid was bouncing around like a normal, healthy kid.  I also understand that there are "hidden" issues, but that's no reason to shove an old, obviously injured, walker-using woman out of the way.

So, this woman then gets to the registration area and is talking loud enough for half of Miami to hear her.  Apparently the kid has asthma and "needs his breathing checked", and also, "can he be fast tracked because of his condition".  Now, two of my kids have asthma.  I can recognize and asthmatic emergency.  This kid did NOT have an emergency going on.

After all that, my sister still got a room before this kid did.

Edited to add:  I apologize for any confusion in the body of this post.  I started to post while we were in the waiting room, but half way through we got called back to an exam room.
« Last Edit: January 07, 2013, 06:30:48 PM by mmswm »
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

cass2591

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18764 on: January 07, 2013, 06:23:36 PM »
Enough of the picky eaters, okay? Move on please.
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