Special Snowflake Stories

[Rohanna]

Oh, yeah, but there's a difference between people offering you the food they can't finish and Cheapskate assuming that he somehow has the right to take everyone's leftovers.

I have another example of his parsimony - a group of us visited the Dominical Republic one January.  Cheapskate is an avid golfer and brought his clubs, talking excitedly about how he couldn't wait to hit the links.  (We live in a very cold climate, and usually the earliest he'd be able to golf is April.)  When we arrived at the resort, Cheapskate asked the front desk clerk about using the golf course.  The clerk told him where he had to go, then added "It costs ten dollars per day."  Cheapskate's expression was a sight to behold.  He sputtered "It's not INCLUDED?"  "Well ... no."  That was it.  He didn't golf.

Don't you love it when a person's behavior is its own punishment?

I don't know, most people I know who behaved like this ended up paying off their mortgage faster that anyone else and had really comfortable later lives.

Not really. Even in their "later lives," they spend their time worrying about how to save those extra pennies. They don't relax and spend their money then.

My father in law is like this- he refused to spend anything, as they were saving it all for retirement, when they were going to do "everything". My husband and I helped our mother in law get him to finally agree to take his wife on a trip she'd always wanted to do- though he grumbled about the cost incessantly. She died of cancer a year later- 5 years before retirement. He still won't spend anything- though he's long retired, and he still grumbles about how much everything costs. I don't know what he's waiting for... 

[Cami]

I feel your pain. I saw a production of 'Othello' at the Globe in London a few years ago. There was a man seated immediately behind us who was translating for his girlfriend (at a normal, conversational volume) the whole.way.through. Eventually both we, and 2 others people nearby asked him to stop. He got really indignant and said his grldfriend couldn't understand and we were being selfish. He only stopped after we spoke to a steward.

What got me, apart from the entitled attitude, was  is that this production was sold out, and it sold out (except for standing room) really  fast, so they almost certainly booked the tickets 2-3 months before the performance. And it is not exactly hard to get copies of the play in whatever language you want, in fact the theatre itself has a bookshop attached to it.

Dfortunately the steards, after speaking to him, stayed quite near by for the rest of the performance and when he started again about 10 minutes into the second act they reminded him and warned him he would have to leave if he didn't stop

A couple of years ago my dd and I had a similar experience with a short-run show on Broadway. The tickets had sold out early and it was a full house. There was a large group of people in front of us who were loudly speaking in a foreign language before the show. I hoped they'd button it when the curtain rose. No such luck. What they then did was play a game of LOUD telephone as the person on the far right translated the play into Spanish and then the person told their seat mate to the left and so on, for a total of 10 people. Did I mention they were LOUD? Shushing and glares did nothing. I finally told them to shut their mouths in Spanish. They then complained to me that without translating they couldn't understand.  Not.Our.Problem.

[weeblewobble]

I had sort of an opposite experience.  We went to a performance of La Boheme in a nearby large Southern city.   We don't speak Italian, but we read the English version of story ahead of time and knew the general story, and we figured that music would sort of speak for itself.

When the show started, we realized that the lyrics were translated into English on a small screen above the stage.  It was very discreet and didn't detract or distract from the performance.  We were grateful that it was there. 

As soon as the words start appearing on the screen, the woman in front of us moaned, "Oh, NOOOO."  And proceeded to gripe loudly about the translation service and how it cheapened the performance and how this sort of thing didn't happen in northern cities, all people in the south are so stupid they have to be spoon-fed everything.  On and on she went, to the point that someone went and got an usher to address it.  When the usher asked her to be quiet, she claimed that she was voicing everybody's opinion about how distracting the translation service was.  A prim lady two rows away piped up, "Actually, ma'am, your rudeness has been far more distracting that any silly words on the screen.  If you're not enjoying the show, please do us all a favor and leave!"

Translator Hater stayed, but acted put out with all of us for not supporting her (in calling us all stupid) and huffed off at intermission. She didn't come back.

[Thipu1]

I had a similar situation with a Grad School course. 

At the first meeting, the Professor announced that we were to take the same seat for the duration of the course so he could more easily remember our names. No problem there.

However, right behind me was a group of three ladies.  It turned out that the two on the ends were not proficient in English and the one in the middle was their interpreter.  She kept up a sentence by sentence simultaneous translation during the entire two hours of the class.  I have to admit that it was a spectacular performance but it was  almost impossible to concentrate on the lecture.  I knew I couldn't sit through two hours, twice a week for 13 weeks with this going on.  I wasn't the only one.
Even the Prof was giving them the stink eye. 

He must have had a 'Come to the deity' meeting with the trio because they never came back. 

[Shalamar]

I don't know, most people I know who behaved like this ended up paying off their mortgage faster that anyone else and had really comfortable later lives.

Well, for what it's worth, Cheapskate is in his 40's, is unmarried, and lives with his parents.  He has a full-time job, so I can only imagine that financially he's doing better than some folks (unless his parents charge him an arm and a leg for rent).

[nutraxfornerves]

When the show started, we realized that the lyrics were translated into English on a small screen above the stage.  It was very discreet and didn't detract or distract from the performance.  We were grateful that it was there. 

Those are called "supertitles," and they are ubiquitous at opera performances in the US. In fact, where I live, the supertitles often are in English & Spanish.

If Translation Hater had never seen a supertitle before, then she can't be the real opera lover she claimed to be.

[TurtleDove]

When the show started, we realized that the lyrics were translated into English on a small screen above the stage.  It was very discreet and didn't detract or distract from the performance.  We were grateful that it was there. 

Those are called "supertitles," and they are ubiquitous at opera performances in the US. In fact, where I live, the supertitles often are in English & Spanish.

If Translation Hater had never seen a supertitle before, then she can't be the real opera lover she claimed to be.

Agreed.  I saw Othello while in Prague in maybe 1995 and it was sung in Italian and supertitled in presumably Czech.  This is not even something new.

[mmswm]

When the show started, we realized that the lyrics were translated into English on a small screen above the stage.  It was very discreet and didn't detract or distract from the performance.  We were grateful that it was there. 

Those are called "supertitles," and they are ubiquitous at opera performances in the US. In fact, where I live, the supertitles often are in English & Spanish.

If Translation Hater had never seen a supertitle before, then she can't be the real opera lover she claimed to be.

Agreed.  I saw Othello while in Prague in maybe 1995 and it was sung in Italian and supertitled in presumably Czech.  This is not even something new.

I was playing in pit orchestras between 1991 and 1994 (hiking accident ended my music career).  The supertitles were present even then. I remember watching a few operas in the late 80's that didn't have them, but by the mid 90's they were pretty much everywhere.  The only opera I remember not having them later than that was a production of Hansel and Gretel that was performed in English to an English speaking audience. 

Now, whether or not they detract from the performance is another debate, but not one that's appropriate during the actual performance.

[Cami]

Oh, yeah, but there's a difference between people offering you the food they can't finish and Cheapskate assuming that he somehow has the right to take everyone's leftovers.

I have another example of his parsimony - a group of us visited the Dominical Republic one January.  Cheapskate is an avid golfer and brought his clubs, talking excitedly about how he couldn't wait to hit the links.  (We live in a very cold climate, and usually the earliest he'd be able to golf is April.)  When we arrived at the resort, Cheapskate asked the front desk clerk about using the golf course.  The clerk told him where he had to go, then added "It costs ten dollars per day."  Cheapskate's expression was a sight to behold.  He sputtered "It's not INCLUDED?"  "Well ... no."  That was it.  He didn't golf.

Don't you love it when a person's behavior is its own punishment?

I don't know, most people I know who behaved like this ended up paying off their mortgage faster that anyone else and had really comfortable later lives.

Not really. Even in their "later lives," they spend their time worrying about how to save those extra pennies. They don't relax and spend their money then.

My father in law is like this- he refused to spend anything, as they were saving it all for retirement, when they were going to do "everything". My husband and I helped our mother in law get him to finally agree to take his wife on a trip she'd always wanted to do- though he grumbled about the cost incessantly. She died of cancer a year later- 5 years before retirement. He still won't spend anything- though he's long retired, and he still grumbles about how much everything costs. I don't know what he's waiting for... 

They're not waiting for anything. They get something right now out of what they're doing. They get something out of the process of being a cheapskate or by the act of hoarding money or by controlling others with the withholding or distribution of the money.

Cheapskates often enjoy being able to brag about how little they spend or how they "win" by "saving" money. (Or in my MIL's case by doing what the rest of us called stealing, but which she called, "Being thrifty and smart".)

Some people get a thrill out of controlling others with money.

For the hoarders, it's kind of like a Scrooge sitting there salivating at the sight of the coins stacked in front of them. It's not about what the money can do for you, it's about the sight of money in stacks on its own. Just like the guys who collect action figures and leave them in their boxes in a dark room and never looks at them. 

The means becomes the end.

It's kind of like my MIL who talked incessantly about how once she could afford a house, her primary focus was going to be on hosting the family parties. Which she did -- funeral and baptism receptions, baby and wedding showers, Christmas and Easter, major birthday milestone parties -- all in her basement. She had a fully decorated home complete with large living and dining rooms and no one was allowed to set foot in them. They had to be kept untouched because she was "waiting for an important enough occasion." My dh called her on it and asked what that occasion might be and when pressed, she admitted that she couldn't imagine any occasion "worthy of my living room. Maybe... i the pope visited. Maybe." She said she liked to stand in the doorway and look at this untouched room and seeing it unused made her happy. She added that just imagining people in those rooms made her upset and anxious because some small damage might occur. One day when dd was a toddler, she wandered into the forbidden room and fell down and cried. My MIL basically stepped on her to get to the wall and make sure that dd hadn't left a mark on the wall when she fell down.

[Twik]

Now, whether or not they detract from the performance is another debate, but not one that's appropriate during the actual performance.

I recall one performance where the poor tenor must have been terribly unsettled when the audience started to laugh during his solo. He couldn't see that the subtitles had just come up with the Blue Screen of Death.

[jammytoast]

I once went to my local University's comedy club show. The comedy club is fairly famous, and their shows are well known for being geared towards 18+ i.e. plenty of (v. strong) swearing, sexual innuendo etc. DBF and I took his parents, looking forward to a good time. For some reason, a couple in the row behind me had brought their 8 year old daughter, and proceeded to explain every single joke to her at normal volume. I never heard the daughter actually ask for clarification, but her mother kept on for the entire first half. 

After sitting through the first half with my teeth gritted I did (very politely) ask her parents if they could at least keep it down, and to be fair to them, I didn't hear a peep in the second half, but I still couldn't figure out why on earth they had brought her to such a show if they didn't think she'd understand it, let alone that it was unsuitable!

[heartmug]

My guess is that it is like when I have seen 4 or 5 or 6 year olds at the movies when it is R rated:  it is cheaper than a babysitter (as one couple told me).

[weeblewobble]

When the show started, we realized that the lyrics were translated into English on a small screen above the stage.  It was very discreet and didn't detract or distract from the performance.  We were grateful that it was there. 

Those are called "supertitles," and they are ubiquitous at opera performances in the US. In fact, where I live, the supertitles often are in English & Spanish.

If Translation Hater had never seen a supertitle before, then she can't be the real opera lover she claimed to be.

Well, her tone was that of, 'I can't believe I have to put up with this again!"  So I think she'd experienced it before, she just wanted to show everybody that she was above it.

[2littlemonkeys]

     The weight/Cardio area at my Y is 10 and up.  I was there today working on the stationary bike and in the middle of my workout.  Some woman walked up and tapped my shoulder interrupting me and I just looked at her, said "yes?" while continuing to cycle. She replied "I need three bikes together, you'll need move to the other end." I replied that I was in the middle of a work out and she and her kids would either need to  break up or find something else to do and went back to my work out. She tapped me again and said that splitting up won't do - the kids are too young and biking is what she was there for, so I needed to move. NOW.
 because she had kids there. And then she showed me the kids. One was about 3 and the other even younger- no where near old enough to be there or tall enough to be able to sit on the bikes safely. I refused again and went back to my work out. She then shut the bike off and I stood up and called over to my personal trainer to get me some help. Sarah left her client went to the desk and got Andy who is another employee there and he came over.  I told him what was going on and he told her that I did not have to move, she then said she did not want to be that far away from her kids - who were running around like only a toddler can and he said "Oh are those yours? We we just going to page the parent and tell them to remove them, they are not allowed up here, you'll have to get them downstairs" At which point she told the employee what she though about that policy- discriminating, yada, yada, turned around and told me "See what you've done this means I can't work out because of your selfishness."  She shoved one kid and grabbed the other so hard she yanked her off her feet and then carried the little girl by one arm all the way across the first floor.
  The employee asked how much of a disturbance she had been and I told him she had interrupted me 3 times and that the last time she had shut the bike off entirely. He replied with - just start over as if you had just started, and go for the entire time the bike will allow ( 30 min)
    Really no one is going to look askance at an 8 or 9 year up there - but toddlers are a problem, because they are a danger to themselves and others because of their need to be moving all the time. 
   This is not the first time I have seen parents break the rules, but she was the most insistent I have seen in a long time.

I just can't get past the part where she just turned off your bike.  Who DOES that?  I know the answer is "Why, entitled Super Special Snowflakes do that!"  but I can't even wrap my head around this.

And those poor kids.   

[Midnight Kitty]

Hi! I think Cheapskate is my long lost twin.  I don't eat much and most meals are way too much for me to finish in one sitting, which is why my nickname is "Midnight 'Doggy bag' Kitty."  When I am in a situation where I can't do the doggy bag routine, I order an appetiser or salad to be served with everyone else's dinner.  DH usually lets me have a couple bites of whatever he's having.  Last time I did this, we were dining with 2 other people.  Both of them gave me something off their plates, too.  One said, "I can't eat both pieces of bread.  Would you like one?"  I left after eating a sufficient amount of food and minimized the amount that was thrown out.  Win - win 

It's win-win if the people eating with you *really* don't want the extra food. However, if you're sitting there with two scoops of salad, staring wistfully at everyone else's Lobster Newburg, until they fork over part of their meal out of guilt, it's only a win for you. It's a loss (in food plus enjoyment) for everyone else.

I'd say if you're looking so hungry that someone is passing over their bread, you just might be overdoing it. And if you are not full until three other people provide you with part of their own dinners, you were hungry enough you could have eaten your own meal.

That's an interesting assumption.  Actually, you made several "interesting assumptions" which were disparaging of my character. You describe me as a cheapskate, drooling over other people's plates until I guilt them into forking over part of their meal while they go home hungry, when you don't know me and you weren't there.

I was not "staring wistfully" at anyone's meal.  The restaurant serves humongous meals.  I knew that, but the people with whom I was dining did not, so they ordered about twice as much food as they thought they were going to get.  It was as they were ordering that I realized that we were going to have enough food for an army.  In addition, they were buying, not me.  They asked me if I wanted a meal and I said, "Nope.  We're gonna have choke grinds already."

The person who gave me the bread is on a low carb diet, so their bread was going to waste if I didn't eat it.  My husband gave me one of his three pieces of chicken, which is how we always split our food (2 parts to him, 1 part to me).  The third person asked if I had tried the pulled pork because it was "broke da mouth," so I tried a bite of that, too.

DH & I dine with other "foodie" couples.  We'll order as a table and share all the dishes.  This was the first time we dined with this couple and we all agreed that, in the future, we are going to dispense with ordering individual meals and "buy for the table" instead.

I gotta say, Twik, this post of yours has changed my opinion of you since it said a lot more about your presumptions than my eating habits.