Special Snowflake Stories

[weeblewobble]

How Special Snowflakes are born:

I'm sitting in the minor procedures waiting room at a major children's hospital.  I had to drive my mother and sister here for a minor plastic surgery procedure.  I've been in the waiting room for 2.5 hours. We should be done.  We're not.  Why are we not done?  Well, my mother is raising my sister to be an SS.

I get that the child is scared, but the hospital has rules and procedures.  I might not agree with those rules, but they have them, and as much as they might stink, we have to follow them. I've been in this position 1000 times at least with my boys. So, the problem is that my mother is not allowed to follow my sister back to the procedure room.  Lil sis is refusing to go without her.  If she were my kid, I would calmly tell her that I loved her and that I understood that it was scary, but these are the rules and she simply had no choice.  This is not what my mother is doing.  My mother is wasting time trying to convince the hospital staff to make an exception, holding up not just me, but everybody else who's waiting for procedures.

Oh, and I have Thing 2 and Thing 1 with me (my 10 year old son and my 10 year old brother), as I had to drive my mother and had nobody to watch them.  My 13yo is with my father, but he's doing some repair work that involves tools like blowtorches and wasn't comfortable having the littler kids with him.  Kids are homeschooled, so there's no school to send them to.

Hasn't the medical staff told her by now that her appointment time is over, so she should leave?  I would think at this time, they would be done with dealing with her.  Sorry you're in that position.

[sevenday]

Yarnie, I'm assuming that all attempts to tell her that this behavior was inappropriate went right in one ear and out the other?

re: the surgical procedure  for the young sister  - how old is this kid?  A friend's daughter, who's barely 3, was able to have surgery for sleep apnea.  Mom was not allowed in the actual room, but was with her in the "pre op" room.  When I had my surgeries, (over the age of 18) my mother was allowed into the pre-op room (although I wonder if that was because I'm deaf and they wanted to be sure they had a translator until the 'real' one arrived) and then left as I headed into the surgery itself.  Are they not allowing her into the pre-op room, or did they do that and she's insisting that Mom go into the ACTUAL surgery room??  This is the one for the cosmetic work relating to falling and hitting her forehead, right?   

And honestly, yes, the hospital should simply say "You can't follow the rules, you've overrun your time, you need to leave and reschedule."

[mmswm]

The child just turned 11 and yes she was having a minor cosmetic procedure. My own kids have been in surgery for non trivial procedures dozens of times and I have never allowed them to hold up a procedure room like that, even when they were much younger. Heck, my mother would have never tolerated that behavior when I was growing up do I am even more flustered than I would be normally.

[CrochetFanatic]

Foodie SS Version 3.0:

In my pre-library days, I worked in an office with Betsy.  Betsy was originally from another country and justified everything she did or said with "Well, that's how it IS in my country.  Americans are just so uptight."  This applied to everything from her suddenly throwing her arms about you and resting her head on your shoulder while you took a walk to grabbing hold of a buxom coworker's bllouse, pulling the top open and announcing "I am curious about what you HAVE down there."

Our office ate out quite often as a group and it got to where no matter what Betsy ordered, we ordered the same thing whether we liked it or not.  It was the only way to assure ourselves of getting most of our meal. 

Betsy would usually wait until everyone else ordered, order something she liked and no one else could stand and then gobble up her meal and spend the rest of the dinner wandering about the table trying to pick food off of others' plates.  We got to the point we were all hunched over our plates trying to protect our pathetic little spaghetti dinners or burgers because Betsy had absolutely no compunction about picking up your burger and taking a bite. 

We were all thrilled when she got a job across the country.  I wonder how they feel about her wherever she's eating/walking/feeling people up these days.

  Okay, for the blouse thing, that's sexual harassment even though it's another woman.  As for the food theft (yes, theft), the first time I might be too stunned to do anything, but she would eventually be told off but good.  "Well, this isn't your country.  This is America, uptight or not.  Please don't touch me/take food off my plate."  Maybe not the best way to handle the situation, but I'm territorial about my personal space, and this includes what is on my plate.  On a side note, I wonder how she would have responded to someone doing the same things to her?  Hmm...

[MrTango]

I remember a SS incident that happened while I was in college.  I was visiting a friend of mine who worked for a neighboring city's fire department (he was giving me a tour of the department) when a call came in.

I immediately got out of the truck and jogged over to the public lobby of the building (so I would be out of my friend's way as he was getting the truck ready to pull out).

SS was in the lobby arguing a ticket he received for watering on the wrong day during a summer drought, but his car was parked on the apron in front of the fire station, blocking the exit door for the engine, which would be the first vehicle to pull out of the station.

My friend came into the lobby and told the guy to move his vehicle "now."  The guy refused.  Friend said that they needed to get the truck to an emergency and SS needs to move the vehicle "now, or we'll move it for you."  SS told him to "F off."

In the end, the guy received a ticket for being illegally parked, charged with a felony for willfully obstructing an emergency vehicle, his car was totalled when my friend pushed it out of the way with the fire truck, he was billed tens of thousands of dollars to replace the damaged chrome bumper on the fire truck, and his insurance company refused to cover any of the repairs to either vehicle since the damage occurred while he was committing a felony.

[Cami]

I remember a SS incident that happened while I was in college.  I was visiting a friend of mine who worked for a neighboring city's fire department (he was giving me a tour of the department) when a call came in.

I immediately got out of the truck and jogged over to the public lobby of the building (so I would be out of my friend's way as he was getting the truck ready to pull out).

SS was in the lobby arguing a ticket he received for watering on the wrong day during a summer drought, but his car was parked on the apron in front of the fire station, blocking the exit door for the engine, which would be the first vehicle to pull out of the station.

My friend came into the lobby and told the guy to move his vehicle "now."  The guy refused.  Friend said that they needed to get the truck to an emergency and SS needs to move the vehicle "now, or we'll move it for you."  SS told him to "F off."

In the end, the guy received a ticket for being illegally parked, charged with a felony for willfully obstructing an emergency vehicle, his car was totalled when my friend pushed it out of the way with the fire truck, he was billed tens of thousands of dollars to replace the damaged chrome bumper on the fire truck, and his insurance company refused to cover any of the repairs to either vehicle since the damage occurred while he was committing a felony.

My BIL is a fireman and he once drove a fire truck, as he said, "through" a car that the owner refused to move. Best part was that the owner was a brother of another fireman and he had come to the firehouse to visit with the brother and parked right in front of the large, transparent doors for the fire truck. So not only did he end up with a totaled car and all of the other consequences, his brother also never talked to him again.

[MrTango]

I remember a SS incident that happened while I was in college.  I was visiting a friend of mine who worked for a neighboring city's fire department (he was giving me a tour of the department) when a call came in.

I immediately got out of the truck and jogged over to the public lobby of the building (so I would be out of my friend's way as he was getting the truck ready to pull out).

SS was in the lobby arguing a ticket he received for watering on the wrong day during a summer drought, but his car was parked on the apron in front of the fire station, blocking the exit door for the engine, which would be the first vehicle to pull out of the station.

My friend came into the lobby and told the guy to move his vehicle "now."  The guy refused.  Friend said that they needed to get the truck to an emergency and SS needs to move the vehicle "now, or we'll move it for you."  SS told him to "F off."

In the end, the guy received a ticket for being illegally parked, charged with a felony for willfully obstructing an emergency vehicle, his car was totalled when my friend pushed it out of the way with the fire truck, he was billed tens of thousands of dollars to replace the damaged chrome bumper on the fire truck, and his insurance company refused to cover any of the repairs to either vehicle since the damage occurred while he was committing a felony.

My BIL is a fireman and he once drove a fire truck, as he said, "through" a car that the owner refused to move. Best part was that the owner was a brother of another fireman and he had come to the firehouse to visit with the brother and parked right in front of the large, transparent doors for the fire truck. So not only did he end up with a totaled car and all of the other consequences, his brother also never talked to him again.

The thing I still don't understand: I was parked in one of several (clearly-marked) "Visitor" parking spots, all of which were closer to the public entrance than where this guy decided to park.

[Shalamar]

Okay, for the blouse thing, that's sexual harassment even though it's another woman. 

Agreed.  I had a male co-worker do something like that to me when he'd had a bit too much to drink at a company barbeque.  I didn't handle it very well (I slapped his face, albeit not hard).  It turned out later that he'd done something similar to other female employees at that event, and they all complained about him to the boss the following day.  He got an official reprimand.

The kicker - and what made him a Special Snowflake - is that he honestly had no idea that what he'd done could be considered offensive.   

[goldilocks]

The child just turned 11 and yes she was having a minor cosmetic procedure. My own kids have been in surgery for non trivial procedures dozens of times and I have never allowed them to hold up a procedure room like that, even when they were much younger. Heck, my mother would have never tolerated that behavior when I was growing up do I am even more flustered than I would be normally.

My 7YO grandaughter had to have rather major dental surgery.   Her mother was upset that she couldn't go back with her, but didn't make a fuss.  I pointed out that this rule was probably in place due to people who go back with their kids and then create such a scene that the kid is more scared than they were in the first place!

7YO handled it like a trouper.  They did let her take her lovey.

[Shoo]

I have always been allowed to accompany my child whenever she's had something done in a hospital, doctor's office, dentist's office .... anywhere.  I would not be happy to be told I couldn't go with her into the procedure room.

[Shalamar]

When I was three, I had my first dental appointment.  The dentist was very brusque, and he frightened me, so Mum asked if she could accompany me into the room.  Dentist said "No, you'll just upset her."  I was already plenty upset, and I had a screaming meltdown when he all but dragged me away from my mother.  He tried to give me a fluoride treatment, but I was struggling so hard, he squirted it down my throat by mistake - whereupon I barfed all over him.    Heh.

[CuriousParty]

I have always been allowed to accompany my child whenever she's had something done in a hospital, doctor's office, dentist's office .... anywhere.  I would not be happy to be told I couldn't go with her into the procedure room.

Yeah, I'm with Shoo on this one, this hospital's procedures would not work for me.  I'd expect to stay with my child for an office procedure, largely the same way I stay when they are with the pediatrician.  If the procedure is an actual operation that requires anesthesia, I'd expect to stay until the child goes to the OR.  I would be surprised on the day of the procedure to learn this rule, too - I've never had a medical provider try to separate me from my child, ESPECIALLY with scary procedures while the child is awake.  Not to say it doesn't happen, obv it does, but that's not my experience so I wouldn't be anticipating it.

However, on learning the hospital's procedures, I would likely ask once for an exception, and then say what I said above - "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not comfortable with that restriction.  We will have to look for a provider that can accommodate us.  Thank you."

I also do kind of wonder about the hospital, too, though. This cannot be the only time they've encountered this type of issue in a large children's hospital.  They should have policies in place to inform parents ahead of time/manage parents who are surprised or unwilling to comply/cancel or reschedule appointments when necessary.  Maybe part of the reason your mom hasn't said "This is how it is, take it or leave it" is because the hospital isn't sending that message either, by either making your mother comply or cancelling the appointment.

[Diane AKA Traska]

I remember a SS incident that happened while I was in college.  I was visiting a friend of mine who worked for a neighboring city's fire department (he was giving me a tour of the department) when a call came in.

I immediately got out of the truck and jogged over to the public lobby of the building (so I would be out of my friend's way as he was getting the truck ready to pull out).

SS was in the lobby arguing a ticket he received for watering on the wrong day during a summer drought, but his car was parked on the apron in front of the fire station, blocking the exit door for the engine, which would be the first vehicle to pull out of the station.

My friend came into the lobby and told the guy to move his vehicle "now."  The guy refused.  Friend said that they needed to get the truck to an emergency and SS needs to move the vehicle "now, or we'll move it for you."  SS told him to "F off."

In the end, the guy received a ticket for being illegally parked, charged with a felony for willfully obstructing an emergency vehicle, his car was totalled when my friend pushed it out of the way with the fire truck, he was billed tens of thousands of dollars to replace the damaged chrome bumper on the fire truck, and his insurance company refused to cover any of the repairs to either vehicle since the damage occurred while he was committing a felony.

Now THAT is a good insurance company!

[Midnight Kitty]

Since this is an etiquette forum, I thought I would share a few easy ways to do the things these SS do, buttely.

Eating someone else's food:  As mentioned above, we enjoy dining with fellow foodies.  If you want to eat someone else's food, ask!  Accept "no" for an answer.  Hand them your fork or small plate.  Let them decide how much to share.  We tell the waiter/ress what we're going to do.  Usually they offer to bring out some small plates or we'll ask.  We tip well because there are more dishes to clear and clean.

Accompanying a minor child to surgery:  DH has had 10 eye surgeries in the last 3 years, so I've spent a lot of time in waiting rooms.  The prize for not being a SS under trying conditions goes to the mother of the autistic girl who was scheduled for major surgery (OR & anesthesia).  She explained to the medical staff that her daughter was autistic and could not tolerate being touched by strangers.  The nurse who was supposed to put the plastic ID bracelet on asked the mother, "OK, I need to ID her.  Can you help?  What can we attach this to?"  The mother repeated herself patiently to the little girl, who was scared, "You'll be fine.  They are here to care for you.  You will be OK.  They are here to help you."  It was almost a chant.  Every time the girl's face screwed up ready to cry, her mom was a rock.  "No need to cry.  They won't hurt you."  Yeah, that last one was probably a lie, because it probably did hurt.  Mom was dealing with the anticipated pain which was the pressing issue at that time.

[Softly Spoken]

Foodie SS Version 3.0:

In my pre-library days, I worked in an office with Betsy.  Betsy was originally from another country and justified everything she did or said with "Well, that's how it IS in my country.  Americans are just so uptight."  This applied to everything from her suddenly throwing her arms about you and resting her head on your shoulder while you took a walk to grabbing hold of a buxom coworker's bllouse, pulling the top open and announcing "I am curious about what you HAVE down there."

Our office ate out quite often as a group and it got to where no matter what Betsy ordered, we ordered the same thing whether we liked it or not.  It was the only way to assure ourselves of getting most of our meal. 

Betsy would usually wait until everyone else ordered, order something she liked and no one else could stand and then gobble up her meal and spend the rest of the dinner wandering about the table trying to pick food off of others' plates.  We got to the point we were all hunched over our plates trying to protect our pathetic little spaghetti dinners or burgers because Betsy had absolutely no compunction about picking up your burger and taking a bite. 

We were all thrilled when she got a job across the country.  I wonder how they feel about her wherever she's eating/walking/feeling people up these days.

  Okay I do not believe for a MINUTE that all the behaviors you described are acceptable in ANY country!! They may be a tad more lax about physical affection/personal space (i.e. a big hug and kiss is a standard greeting) or more casual about dining (i.e. family style/sharing is expected) but I can't think of a country that has physical assault and public humiliation embedded in their culture. Seriously, find me a country that encourages it's citizens to yank on each other's clothes and dismiss each other's discomfort. The Republic of Special Snowflakes? Jerksylvania? My theory is Betsy got thrown out of her own country because they couldn't stand her either!