News: All new forum theme!  See Forum Announcements for more information. 

  • May 06, 2015, 07:31:41 AM

Login with username, password and session length

Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6317162 times)

4 Members and 8 Guests are viewing this topic.

snowdragon

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2200
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18990 on: January 16, 2013, 01:56:28 PM »
Foodie SS Version 3.0:

In my pre-library days, I worked in an office with Betsy.  Betsy was originally from another country and justified everything she did or said with "Well, that's how it IS in my country.  Americans are just so uptight."  This applied to everything from her suddenly throwing her arms about you and resting her head on your shoulder while you took a walk to grabbing hold of a buxom coworker's bllouse, pulling the top open and announcing "I am curious about what you HAVE down there."

Our office ate out quite often as a group and it got to where no matter what Betsy ordered, we ordered the same thing whether we liked it or not.  It was the only way to assure ourselves of getting most of our meal. 

Betsy would usually wait until everyone else ordered, order something she liked and no one else could stand and then gobble up her meal and spend the rest of the dinner wandering about the table trying to pick food off of others' plates.  We got to the point we were all hunched over our plates trying to protect our pathetic little spaghetti dinners or burgers because Betsy had absolutely no compunction about picking up your burger and taking a bite. 

We were all thrilled when she got a job across the country.  I wonder how they feel about her wherever she's eating/walking/feeling people up these days.

"Betsy, you are in America now and here we do it otherwise. whether or no they do it differently where you're from means nothing - you need to follow the rules here. If you can not - we will take stronger steps to make sure you do. "  And follow through - everything from refusing to go to lunch with her, to going to HR and up and including, charges for ripping open a blouse.  The Betsy's of this world get away with things because people are too polite to fight back - they don't want be called "racist" or whatever the current label is that bullies use.

  If she grabbed my food, she'd be paying for and that would be the last time I went anywhere with Betsy.  Job or not - they can not force you to allow someone to steal from you.

mmswm

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2544
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18991 on: January 16, 2013, 02:35:02 PM »
I have always been allowed to accompany my child whenever she's had something done in a hospital, doctor's office, dentist's office .... anywhere.  I would not be happy to be told I couldn't go with her into the procedure room.

Right.  I'm not saying that she shouldn't have been upset, but the hospital had rules and procedures.  If I really didn't like something, I would complain to the appropriate department, not hold up a procedure room for 2 hours.  If the child really was that nervous, then a special exception might be worked out, but it should be done ahead of time.  If this were my child, I would have either told her "I'm sorry, but this is the way it has to be", or rescheduled with enough time to talk to the hospital administration to make an exception to the rule.  The worst part of all this was when they finally got her back to the procedure room, the actual procedure took less than 10 minutes.  2.5 hours of fussing for a procedure was really not appropriate.

For what it's worth, I've never been allowed back into a sterile procedure room.  Pre-op, yes, but not the procedure itself.  My boys have had various minor to major orthopedic procedures at several different hospitals in several different states, and while the hospital rules do vary a bit, the part about parents in the sterile rooms have not changed.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9468
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18992 on: January 16, 2013, 02:59:49 PM »
I have always been able to have someone with me in Pre-op if I so desired and requested. This policy seems very confusing for me.

sevenday

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 805
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18993 on: January 16, 2013, 03:03:42 PM »
In this case it really matters if whatever it was involved anesthesia and a sterile operating room. If yes, then no, the parent shouldn't be allowed back there.  If it's a minor thing like putting on a cast/removing it, then I don't see why the parent can't be there.   It has to do with exactly what it was that needed to be done.  But after 2.5 hours? Collect your child and LEAVE.  Find some place that will allow you to do what you want to do, or suck it up.  This is not a tiny child, this is an 11 year old who has no apparent disabilities that would prevent comprehension of what will happen when Mom leaves the room.  Yes, an 11 year old can still have a panic attack/be frightened, but you can reason with an 11 year old far easier than you can a 3 year old.  It's a sad day when a 3 year old is calmer than an 11 year old for a minor thing.

It's not clear exactly what is being done for this process, though.  I have never seen a parent denied access during pre-op itself, so I think this must involve a sterile room for something.  It's not a bad policy, just about every hospital has a sterile-room policy that permits access during pre-op and post-op only.

Shoo

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 16395
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18994 on: January 16, 2013, 03:09:25 PM »
In this case it really matters if whatever it was involved anesthesia and a sterile operating room. If yes, then no, the parent shouldn't be allowed back there.  If it's a minor thing like putting on a cast/removing it, then I don't see why the parent can't be there.   It has to do with exactly what it was that needed to be done.  But after 2.5 hours? Collect your child and LEAVE.  Find some place that will allow you to do what you want to do, or suck it up.  This is not a tiny child, this is an 11 year old who has no apparent disabilities that would prevent comprehension of what will happen when Mom leaves the room.  Yes, an 11 year old can still have a panic attack/be frightened, but you can reason with an 11 year old far easier than you can a 3 year old.  It's a sad day when a 3 year old is calmer than an 11 year old for a minor thing.

It's not clear exactly what is being done for this process, though.  I have never seen a parent denied access during pre-op itself, so I think this must involve a sterile room for something.  It's not a bad policy, just about every hospital has a sterile-room policy that permits access during pre-op and post-op only.

Yes, I agree about the sterile room.  I wouldn't expect to be allowed into an operating room, but if the procedure only took 10 minutes, I doubt there was anesthesia and a sterile room involved.  It seems to me that the hospital could have solved this problem by allowing the child's mother to accompany her.  Sometimes exceptions just have to be made.  I'd like to know exactly why the hospital wouldn't allow the mom to go with her daughter.

snowflake

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1812
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18995 on: January 16, 2013, 03:13:52 PM »
Quote
Okay, for the blouse thing, that's sexual harassment even though it's another woman. 

Agreed.  I had a male co-worker do something like that to me when he'd had a bit too much to drink at a company barbeque.  I didn't handle it very well (I slapped his face, albeit not hard).  It turned out later that he'd done something similar to other female employees at that event, and they all complained about him to the boss the following day.  He got an official reprimand.

The kicker - and what made him a Special Snowflake - is that he honestly had no idea that what he'd done could be considered offensive.   ::)

I once had a female co-worker who was always over-the-top offensive.  She openly flirted with everyone in a raunchy way and would always say, "Well I'm joking!  I joke with both men and women so you know I'm just joking."  I guess none of us wanted to be the "party pooper" so we all just laughed it off.  I was only 19 and figured that's the way it was.  I knew she seriously did not have any sexual designs on me.

Well once when she grabbed my upper leg and made a proposition, I decided to joke right back and pretended to swoon and said, "Oh someone save me!  Murder! Rape! Assault!"  She got very offended and told me that she knew I was just joking around but that I shouldn't say such things because someone might think badly of her.  I told her that I had the right to joke around as much as she did and that she should not scoff at "people who are too sensitive" if she was going to be tetchy.

After I did that, about five guys in the office filed formal complaints against her.  After the manager (who was her good friend) had an uncomfortable talk with her, she finally stopped. 

Actually I could go on and on about this co-worker.  She also:

1) Would get pissy with bill collectors who called her and once said, "You <offensive term for developmentally delayed>!  Where do you think I'm going to get $200?  Not everyone is rich like you!"  (Yeah, because some poor schlump working for a collection agency is rolling in it.)

2) She would make a big deal about how everyone had it easy except for her and she was the only person in the whole country who was an upstanding, responsible citizen.  She called in sick 5-10 times per month besides not paying her bills. 

3) She made very obviously racist comments to my African American friend - telling her that she was lazy, entitled and constantly playing the race card.  (Friend worked her behind off at school and has since.)  Afterwards, she couldn't figure out why we didn't invite her to hang out.   She said that every potential friend deserved a chance because no one was perfect.

4) She got mad at "Draconian company policies" that meant she didn't get paid for the days she took sick.  We did get 4 paid sick days per year, but she used those up in a month.

5) She was living at home and complained that her parents "treated her like an irresponsible child."  (She paid zero living expenses.)  She would get in screaming fights with them over the phone at work if she, say, wanted her mother to bring co-worker a sweater because she had left the house without it. 

I guess I could go on about her, but I'll stop.  I wish I had made this all up but she really was this bad and she wasn't a fellow 19 year old.  She was 30!  She had a huge impact on me because at one point I made a "30 year old checklist" which was everything that co-worker was that I was determined NOT to be.  I'm happy to say that I kept it and could cross everything off at age 25.

mmswm

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2544
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18996 on: January 16, 2013, 03:15:41 PM »
LadyKnight, my mother was allowed in the pre-procedure room, but not the procedure itself.

Shoo, this particular procedure was, in fact, done under a local anesthetic, but in a sterile room.  Like I said before, whether or not I disagree with the policy is beyond the point.  That was not the time to discuss it.  Since my sister felt so strongly about it, I would have rescheduled and talked to the hospital administration about allowing an exception.  That would not have been SS-in-training.  Holding up the entire procedure schedule, however, is a problem.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

mmswm

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2544
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18997 on: January 16, 2013, 03:29:17 PM »
I suppose I just approach things differently than my mother does.  My children have never had a minor procedure done at this hospital.  My  two youngest were in NICU (oldest was at a different NICU...I don't do well with pregnancy) there when they were newborns and my youngest has had several major surgical procedures done there.  They've also had work done at other hospitals. (For a little background, the disease they have is rare, and between not living here for a number of years and travelling to go to particular specialists, we've dealt with a number of hospitals).  Every time I've taken my boys to a different hospital, we've gotten a tour of the surgical suites and a nurse has walked us through the "what to expect" stuff several days prior to surgery.  Well, I take that back.  There was one time that didn't happen.  We'd gone to one children's hospital in City A for what we expected to be a relatively routine outpatient surgery, only to discover a much more serious issue and that hospital wasn't equipped to handle it.  The doc had worked at another hospital that was equipped, so he was transferred to the children's hospital in City B for that procedure.  At any rate, I would have asked more questions than my mother did, and would not have been blindsided by this policy.  I still feel that the day of the actual procedure, considering it was not an emergency procedure, was not the time to hold things up while it got resolved.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Jones

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2841
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18998 on: January 16, 2013, 04:03:14 PM »
When my son had his procedure done in late November we were with him in pre-op, separated during the procedure, then I was allowed to sit with him in post-op until he woke up. If he had thrown a fit at the goodbye line, we were instructed beforehand that we were to walk away and not look back. Fortunately my son had instant like for his anesthesiologist and, with the help of a toy car, was whisked happily away. Total procedure time was less than 30 minutes.

Midnight Kitty

  • The Queen of Sludge
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3686
    • The Stoddard's Hale
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18999 on: January 16, 2013, 04:12:15 PM »
Several of my husband's eye surgeries were not scheduled.  Once they opened the Surgi-Center (same day out patient surgery) at 11 PM just for DH.  In these cases, I was allowed in the post-op room.  One surgery was scheduled and performed at a different hospital.  They wouldn't let me see DH until he was released.  They said the recovery room was too crowded.  DH said he's not going back there.  I know pain management techniques that work for him.  Nurses don't have time for that stuff.

We did not throw a hissy fit because of their policies.  DH was very upset.  He was asking for me from the time he regained consciousness.  He said they acted like I was nowhere to be found.  In addition, there were family members for other patients in the recovery room.  I told DH that was probably why I couldn't go in; they already had a blizzard of SSs in there.

We won't use that hospital again, for this and many other reasons.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

ladyknight1

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 9468
  • Operating the logic hammer since 1987.
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19000 on: January 16, 2013, 04:22:21 PM »
I agree that the day of the procedure is not the time for this to be worked out.

magician5

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 3524
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19001 on: January 16, 2013, 05:29:13 PM »
"Betsy, you are in America now and here we do it otherwise. whether or no they do it differently where you're from means nothing - you need to follow the rules here."

Definition of cultural literacy: not needing to have "When in Rome do as the Romans do" explained to you.
« Last Edit: January 16, 2013, 05:32:18 PM by magician5 »
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

Shea

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4116
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19002 on: January 16, 2013, 05:48:06 PM »
Special Snowflakus Iwillnotpaymyfinesus:

At my library, some books are on 48-hour loan, because they're textbooks for classes. There are usually only a few copies of these books, and they're in high demand, as courses often have several hundred students in them. In order to induce students to return them on time (to allow as many students access to these books as possible), late fees are high, 5 cents per minute. Now, if you're only a few minutes late, you won't get a fine, there's a 15-minute grace period. However, if you're a couple of hours late, you will  have a fine of a few dollars. This policy is on the website, and when students check the books out, circulation staff tells them the exact hour and day when the book is due. Of course, students often do not listen and are shocked to find, upon returning the book a day late, that they now have a rather large fine. Most of them aren't happy, but accept it. Our Special Snowflake was not such a student.

He'd returned a 48-hour loan book a few hours late, and so had a fine of about $5. Not a very big fine, but he had an absolute fit at the circ desk. He kept ranting in a very loud voice, just short of shouting, about how stupid this policy was, and nobody had told him about the fines, and how could they attach per minute fines to the book? The library clerk tried to calm him down and explain the policy, and offered to get the circulation supervisor, but SS was having none of that. After several minutes of ranting, he informed the clerk that absolutely would not pay the fine. Clerk told him that in that case, he would not get his diploma when he graduated. Student told him that he was going to complain to the Dean, and WOULD NOT PAY THE FINE. He then stormed off. Charming fellow.


If a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, librarians are a global threat.

wheeitsme

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4121
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19003 on: January 16, 2013, 07:34:32 PM »
Special Snowflakus Iwillnotpaymyfinesus:

At my library, some books are on 48-hour loan, because they're textbooks for classes. There are usually only a few copies of these books, and they're in high demand, as courses often have several hundred students in them. In order to induce students to return them on time (to allow as many students access to these books as possible), late fees are high, 5 cents per minute. Now, if you're only a few minutes late, you won't get a fine, there's a 15-minute grace period. However, if you're a couple of hours late, you will  have a fine of a few dollars. This policy is on the website, and when students check the books out, circulation staff tells them the exact hour and day when the book is due. Of course, students often do not listen and are shocked to find, upon returning the book a day late, that they now have a rather large fine. Most of them aren't happy, but accept it. Our Special Snowflake was not such a student.

He'd returned a 48-hour loan book a few hours late, and so had a fine of about $5. Not a very big fine, but he had an absolute fit at the circ desk. He kept ranting in a very loud voice, just short of shouting, about how stupid this policy was, and nobody had told him about the fines, and how could they attach per minute fines to the book? The library clerk tried to calm him down and explain the policy, and offered to get the circulation supervisor, but SS was having none of that. After several minutes of ranting, he informed the clerk that absolutely would not pay the fine. Clerk told him that in that case, he would not get his diploma when he graduated. Student told him that he was going to complain to the Dean, and WOULD NOT PAY THE FINE. He then stormed off. Charming fellow.

LOL!
"Dean, I broke the rules, and the library is expecting me to live up to my responsibilities as an adult!"

(And the fact that it's such a small fine that he is making such a fuss over is going to further endear him to the dean  ;) )

BabylonSister

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 579
  • Shake it!
Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19004 on: January 16, 2013, 09:09:27 PM »
Foodie SS Version 3.0:

In my pre-library days, I worked in an office with Betsy.  Betsy was originally from another country and justified everything she did or said with "Well, that's how it IS in my country.  Americans are just so uptight."  This applied to everything from her suddenly throwing her arms about you and resting her head on your shoulder while you took a walk to grabbing hold of a buxom coworker's bllouse, pulling the top open and announcing "I am curious about what you HAVE down there."

Our office ate out quite often as a group and it got to where no matter what Betsy ordered, we ordered the same thing whether we liked it or not.  It was the only way to assure ourselves of getting most of our meal. 

Betsy would usually wait until everyone else ordered, order something she liked and no one else could stand and then gobble up her meal and spend the rest of the dinner wandering about the table trying to pick food off of others' plates.  We got to the point we were all hunched over our plates trying to protect our pathetic little spaghetti dinners or burgers because Betsy had absolutely no compunction about picking up your burger and taking a bite. 

We were all thrilled when she got a job across the country.  I wonder how they feel about her wherever she's eating/walking/feeling people up these days.

"Betsy, you are in America now and here we do it otherwise. whether or no they do it differently where you're from means nothing - you need to follow the rules here. If you can not - we will take stronger steps to make sure you do. "  And follow through - everything from refusing to go to lunch with her, to going to HR and up and including, charges for ripping open a blouse.  The Betsy's of this world get away with things because people are too polite to fight back - they don't want be called "racist" or whatever the current label is that bullies use.

  If she grabbed my food, she'd be paying for and that would be the last time I went anywhere with Betsy.  Job or not - they can not force you to allow someone to steal from you.


I very much doubt her actions were acceptable in any culture.  I think the country where her behavior is normal was entirely contained in her head,