Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5642379 times)

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Midnight Kitty

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18990 on: January 16, 2013, 01:28:56 PM »
Since this is an etiquette forum, I thought I would share a few easy ways to do the things these SS do, buttely.

Eating someone else's food:  As mentioned above, we enjoy dining with fellow foodies.  If you want to eat someone else's food, ask!  Accept "no" for an answer.  Hand them your fork or small plate.  Let them decide how much to share.  We tell the waiter/ress what we're going to do.  Usually they offer to bring out some small plates or we'll ask.  We tip well because there are more dishes to clear and clean.

Accompanying a minor child to surgery:  DH has had 10 eye surgeries in the last 3 years, so I've spent a lot of time in waiting rooms.  The prize for not being a SS under trying conditions goes to the mother of the autistic girl who was scheduled for major surgery (OR & anesthesia).  She explained to the medical staff that her daughter was autistic and could not tolerate being touched by strangers.  The nurse who was supposed to put the plastic ID bracelet on asked the mother, "OK, I need to ID her.  Can you help?  What can we attach this to?"  The mother repeated herself patiently to the little girl, who was scared, "You'll be fine.  They are here to care for you.  You will be OK.  They are here to help you."  It was almost a chant.  Every time the girl's face screwed up ready to cry, her mom was a rock.  "No need to cry.  They won't hurt you."  Yeah, that last one was probably a lie, because it probably did hurt.  Mom was dealing with the anticipated pain which was the pressing issue at that time.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

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Softly Spoken

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18991 on: January 16, 2013, 01:39:36 PM »
Foodie SS Version 3.0:

In my pre-library days, I worked in an office with Betsy.  Betsy was originally from another country and justified everything she did or said with "Well, that's how it IS in my country.  Americans are just so uptight."  This applied to everything from her suddenly throwing her arms about you and resting her head on your shoulder while you took a walk to grabbing hold of a buxom coworker's bllouse, pulling the top open and announcing "I am curious about what you HAVE down there."

Our office ate out quite often as a group and it got to where no matter what Betsy ordered, we ordered the same thing whether we liked it or not.  It was the only way to assure ourselves of getting most of our meal. 

Betsy would usually wait until everyone else ordered, order something she liked and no one else could stand and then gobble up her meal and spend the rest of the dinner wandering about the table trying to pick food off of others' plates.  We got to the point we were all hunched over our plates trying to protect our pathetic little spaghetti dinners or burgers because Betsy had absolutely no compunction about picking up your burger and taking a bite. 

We were all thrilled when she got a job across the country.  I wonder how they feel about her wherever she's eating/walking/feeling people up these days.

 :o :o :o ??? ??? ??? Okay I do not believe for a MINUTE that all the behaviors you described are acceptable in ANY country!! They may be a tad more lax about physical affection/personal space (i.e. a big hug and kiss is a standard greeting) or more casual about dining (i.e. family style/sharing is expected) but I can't think of a country that has physical assault and public humiliation embedded in their culture. Seriously, find me a country that encourages it's citizens to yank on each other's clothes and dismiss each other's discomfort. The Republic of Special Snowflakes? Jerksylvania? My theory is Betsy got thrown out of her own country because they couldn't stand her either!  >:(
"... for there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so."
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"We find comfort among those who agree with us - growth among those who don't."  ~Frank A. Clark

weeblewobble

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18992 on: January 16, 2013, 01:46:43 PM »
I remember a SS incident that happened while I was in college.  I was visiting a friend of mine who worked for a neighboring city's fire department (he was giving me a tour of the department) when a call came in.

I immediately got out of the truck and jogged over to the public lobby of the building (so I would be out of my friend's way as he was getting the truck ready to pull out).

SS was in the lobby arguing a ticket he received for watering on the wrong day during a summer drought, but his car was parked on the apron in front of the fire station, blocking the exit door for the engine, which would be the first vehicle to pull out of the station.

My friend came into the lobby and told the guy to move his vehicle "now."  The guy refused.  Friend said that they needed to get the truck to an emergency and SS needs to move the vehicle "now, or we'll move it for you."  SS told him to "F off."

In the end, the guy received a ticket for being illegally parked, charged with a felony for willfully obstructing an emergency vehicle, his car was totalled when my friend pushed it out of the way with the fire truck, he was billed tens of thousands of dollars to replace the damaged chrome bumper on the fire truck, and his insurance company refused to cover any of the repairs to either vehicle since the damage occurred while he was committing a felony.

My BIL is a fireman and he once drove a fire truck, as he said, "through" a car that the owner refused to move. Best part was that the owner was a brother of another fireman and he had come to the firehouse to visit with the brother and parked right in front of the large, transparent doors for the fire truck. So not only did he end up with a totaled car and all of the other consequences, his brother also never talked to him again.

The thing I still don't understand: I was parked in one of several (clearly-marked) "Visitor" parking spots, all of which were closer to the public entrance than where this guy decided to park.

Why would the guy visiting his brother refuse to move his car?

misha412

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18993 on: January 16, 2013, 01:54:29 PM »
Foodie SS Version 3.0:

In my pre-library days, I worked in an office with Betsy.  Betsy was originally from another country and justified everything she did or said with "Well, that's how it IS in my country.  Americans are just so uptight."  This applied to everything from her suddenly throwing her arms about you and resting her head on your shoulder while you took a walk to grabbing hold of a buxom coworker's bllouse, pulling the top open and announcing "I am curious about what you HAVE down there."

Our office ate out quite often as a group and it got to where no matter what Betsy ordered, we ordered the same thing whether we liked it or not.  It was the only way to assure ourselves of getting most of our meal. 

Betsy would usually wait until everyone else ordered, order something she liked and no one else could stand and then gobble up her meal and spend the rest of the dinner wandering about the table trying to pick food off of others' plates.  We got to the point we were all hunched over our plates trying to protect our pathetic little spaghetti dinners or burgers because Betsy had absolutely no compunction about picking up your burger and taking a bite. 

We were all thrilled when she got a job across the country.  I wonder how they feel about her wherever she's eating/walking/feeling people up these days.

Betsy would have heard me say "That is my food, put it down." Once. The second time she tried it I would have smacked it out of her hand. The third time would involve a fork into the said appendage. (Stuffing EvilMisha back into her cage.)

The instant she thought it was appropriate to open up my blouse to check anything would be the day I reported it to HR and demanded something be done. If they didn't do anything, I would be calling the cops.

snowdragon

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18994 on: January 16, 2013, 01:56:28 PM »
Foodie SS Version 3.0:

In my pre-library days, I worked in an office with Betsy.  Betsy was originally from another country and justified everything she did or said with "Well, that's how it IS in my country.  Americans are just so uptight."  This applied to everything from her suddenly throwing her arms about you and resting her head on your shoulder while you took a walk to grabbing hold of a buxom coworker's bllouse, pulling the top open and announcing "I am curious about what you HAVE down there."

Our office ate out quite often as a group and it got to where no matter what Betsy ordered, we ordered the same thing whether we liked it or not.  It was the only way to assure ourselves of getting most of our meal. 

Betsy would usually wait until everyone else ordered, order something she liked and no one else could stand and then gobble up her meal and spend the rest of the dinner wandering about the table trying to pick food off of others' plates.  We got to the point we were all hunched over our plates trying to protect our pathetic little spaghetti dinners or burgers because Betsy had absolutely no compunction about picking up your burger and taking a bite. 

We were all thrilled when she got a job across the country.  I wonder how they feel about her wherever she's eating/walking/feeling people up these days.

"Betsy, you are in America now and here we do it otherwise. whether or no they do it differently where you're from means nothing - you need to follow the rules here. If you can not - we will take stronger steps to make sure you do. "  And follow through - everything from refusing to go to lunch with her, to going to HR and up and including, charges for ripping open a blouse.  The Betsy's of this world get away with things because people are too polite to fight back - they don't want be called "racist" or whatever the current label is that bullies use.

  If she grabbed my food, she'd be paying for and that would be the last time I went anywhere with Betsy.  Job or not - they can not force you to allow someone to steal from you.

mmswm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18995 on: January 16, 2013, 02:35:02 PM »
I have always been allowed to accompany my child whenever she's had something done in a hospital, doctor's office, dentist's office .... anywhere.  I would not be happy to be told I couldn't go with her into the procedure room.

Right.  I'm not saying that she shouldn't have been upset, but the hospital had rules and procedures.  If I really didn't like something, I would complain to the appropriate department, not hold up a procedure room for 2 hours.  If the child really was that nervous, then a special exception might be worked out, but it should be done ahead of time.  If this were my child, I would have either told her "I'm sorry, but this is the way it has to be", or rescheduled with enough time to talk to the hospital administration to make an exception to the rule.  The worst part of all this was when they finally got her back to the procedure room, the actual procedure took less than 10 minutes.  2.5 hours of fussing for a procedure was really not appropriate.

For what it's worth, I've never been allowed back into a sterile procedure room.  Pre-op, yes, but not the procedure itself.  My boys have had various minor to major orthopedic procedures at several different hospitals in several different states, and while the hospital rules do vary a bit, the part about parents in the sterile rooms have not changed.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18996 on: January 16, 2013, 02:59:49 PM »
I have always been able to have someone with me in Pre-op if I so desired and requested. This policy seems very confusing for me.

sevenday

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18997 on: January 16, 2013, 03:03:42 PM »
In this case it really matters if whatever it was involved anesthesia and a sterile operating room. If yes, then no, the parent shouldn't be allowed back there.  If it's a minor thing like putting on a cast/removing it, then I don't see why the parent can't be there.   It has to do with exactly what it was that needed to be done.  But after 2.5 hours? Collect your child and LEAVE.  Find some place that will allow you to do what you want to do, or suck it up.  This is not a tiny child, this is an 11 year old who has no apparent disabilities that would prevent comprehension of what will happen when Mom leaves the room.  Yes, an 11 year old can still have a panic attack/be frightened, but you can reason with an 11 year old far easier than you can a 3 year old.  It's a sad day when a 3 year old is calmer than an 11 year old for a minor thing.

It's not clear exactly what is being done for this process, though.  I have never seen a parent denied access during pre-op itself, so I think this must involve a sterile room for something.  It's not a bad policy, just about every hospital has a sterile-room policy that permits access during pre-op and post-op only.

Shoo

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18998 on: January 16, 2013, 03:09:25 PM »
In this case it really matters if whatever it was involved anesthesia and a sterile operating room. If yes, then no, the parent shouldn't be allowed back there.  If it's a minor thing like putting on a cast/removing it, then I don't see why the parent can't be there.   It has to do with exactly what it was that needed to be done.  But after 2.5 hours? Collect your child and LEAVE.  Find some place that will allow you to do what you want to do, or suck it up.  This is not a tiny child, this is an 11 year old who has no apparent disabilities that would prevent comprehension of what will happen when Mom leaves the room.  Yes, an 11 year old can still have a panic attack/be frightened, but you can reason with an 11 year old far easier than you can a 3 year old.  It's a sad day when a 3 year old is calmer than an 11 year old for a minor thing.

It's not clear exactly what is being done for this process, though.  I have never seen a parent denied access during pre-op itself, so I think this must involve a sterile room for something.  It's not a bad policy, just about every hospital has a sterile-room policy that permits access during pre-op and post-op only.

Yes, I agree about the sterile room.  I wouldn't expect to be allowed into an operating room, but if the procedure only took 10 minutes, I doubt there was anesthesia and a sterile room involved.  It seems to me that the hospital could have solved this problem by allowing the child's mother to accompany her.  Sometimes exceptions just have to be made.  I'd like to know exactly why the hospital wouldn't allow the mom to go with her daughter.

snowflake

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #18999 on: January 16, 2013, 03:13:52 PM »
Quote
Okay, for the blouse thing, that's sexual harassment even though it's another woman. 

Agreed.  I had a male co-worker do something like that to me when he'd had a bit too much to drink at a company barbeque.  I didn't handle it very well (I slapped his face, albeit not hard).  It turned out later that he'd done something similar to other female employees at that event, and they all complained about him to the boss the following day.  He got an official reprimand.

The kicker - and what made him a Special Snowflake - is that he honestly had no idea that what he'd done could be considered offensive.   ::)

I once had a female co-worker who was always over-the-top offensive.  She openly flirted with everyone in a raunchy way and would always say, "Well I'm joking!  I joke with both men and women so you know I'm just joking."  I guess none of us wanted to be the "party pooper" so we all just laughed it off.  I was only 19 and figured that's the way it was.  I knew she seriously did not have any sexual designs on me.

Well once when she grabbed my upper leg and made a proposition, I decided to joke right back and pretended to swoon and said, "Oh someone save me!  Murder! Rape! Assault!"  She got very offended and told me that she knew I was just joking around but that I shouldn't say such things because someone might think badly of her.  I told her that I had the right to joke around as much as she did and that she should not scoff at "people who are too sensitive" if she was going to be tetchy.

After I did that, about five guys in the office filed formal complaints against her.  After the manager (who was her good friend) had an uncomfortable talk with her, she finally stopped. 

Actually I could go on and on about this co-worker.  She also:

1) Would get pissy with bill collectors who called her and once said, "You <offensive term for developmentally delayed>!  Where do you think I'm going to get $200?  Not everyone is rich like you!"  (Yeah, because some poor schlump working for a collection agency is rolling in it.)

2) She would make a big deal about how everyone had it easy except for her and she was the only person in the whole country who was an upstanding, responsible citizen.  She called in sick 5-10 times per month besides not paying her bills. 

3) She made very obviously racist comments to my African American friend - telling her that she was lazy, entitled and constantly playing the race card.  (Friend worked her behind off at school and has since.)  Afterwards, she couldn't figure out why we didn't invite her to hang out.   She said that every potential friend deserved a chance because no one was perfect.

4) She got mad at "Draconian company policies" that meant she didn't get paid for the days she took sick.  We did get 4 paid sick days per year, but she used those up in a month.

5) She was living at home and complained that her parents "treated her like an irresponsible child."  (She paid zero living expenses.)  She would get in screaming fights with them over the phone at work if she, say, wanted her mother to bring co-worker a sweater because she had left the house without it. 

I guess I could go on about her, but I'll stop.  I wish I had made this all up but she really was this bad and she wasn't a fellow 19 year old.  She was 30!  She had a huge impact on me because at one point I made a "30 year old checklist" which was everything that co-worker was that I was determined NOT to be.  I'm happy to say that I kept it and could cross everything off at age 25.

mmswm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19000 on: January 16, 2013, 03:15:41 PM »
LadyKnight, my mother was allowed in the pre-procedure room, but not the procedure itself.

Shoo, this particular procedure was, in fact, done under a local anesthetic, but in a sterile room.  Like I said before, whether or not I disagree with the policy is beyond the point.  That was not the time to discuss it.  Since my sister felt so strongly about it, I would have rescheduled and talked to the hospital administration about allowing an exception.  That would not have been SS-in-training.  Holding up the entire procedure schedule, however, is a problem.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

mmswm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19001 on: January 16, 2013, 03:29:17 PM »
I suppose I just approach things differently than my mother does.  My children have never had a minor procedure done at this hospital.  My  two youngest were in NICU (oldest was at a different NICU...I don't do well with pregnancy) there when they were newborns and my youngest has had several major surgical procedures done there.  They've also had work done at other hospitals. (For a little background, the disease they have is rare, and between not living here for a number of years and travelling to go to particular specialists, we've dealt with a number of hospitals).  Every time I've taken my boys to a different hospital, we've gotten a tour of the surgical suites and a nurse has walked us through the "what to expect" stuff several days prior to surgery.  Well, I take that back.  There was one time that didn't happen.  We'd gone to one children's hospital in City A for what we expected to be a relatively routine outpatient surgery, only to discover a much more serious issue and that hospital wasn't equipped to handle it.  The doc had worked at another hospital that was equipped, so he was transferred to the children's hospital in City B for that procedure.  At any rate, I would have asked more questions than my mother did, and would not have been blindsided by this policy.  I still feel that the day of the actual procedure, considering it was not an emergency procedure, was not the time to hold things up while it got resolved.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

Jones

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19002 on: January 16, 2013, 04:03:14 PM »
When my son had his procedure done in late November we were with him in pre-op, separated during the procedure, then I was allowed to sit with him in post-op until he woke up. If he had thrown a fit at the goodbye line, we were instructed beforehand that we were to walk away and not look back. Fortunately my son had instant like for his anesthesiologist and, with the help of a toy car, was whisked happily away. Total procedure time was less than 30 minutes.

Midnight Kitty

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19003 on: January 16, 2013, 04:12:15 PM »
Several of my husband's eye surgeries were not scheduled.  Once they opened the Surgi-Center (same day out patient surgery) at 11 PM just for DH.  In these cases, I was allowed in the post-op room.  One surgery was scheduled and performed at a different hospital.  They wouldn't let me see DH until he was released.  They said the recovery room was too crowded.  DH said he's not going back there.  I know pain management techniques that work for him.  Nurses don't have time for that stuff.

We did not throw a hissy fit because of their policies.  DH was very upset.  He was asking for me from the time he regained consciousness.  He said they acted like I was nowhere to be found.  In addition, there were family members for other patients in the recovery room.  I told DH that was probably why I couldn't go in; they already had a blizzard of SSs in there.

We won't use that hospital again, for this and many other reasons.
"The first rule is to keep an untroubled spirit.  The second is to look things in the face and know them for what they are."

Marcus Aurelius

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19004 on: January 16, 2013, 04:22:21 PM »
I agree that the day of the procedure is not the time for this to be worked out.