Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5280873 times)

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bopper

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19095 on: January 24, 2013, 10:55:47 AM »
I am going to go against the grain...I think that doctors/dentists have found that kids do better when their parents AREN"T there in general.
Likw how kids act better at school or the babysitter or at friends houses but save all their whining and annoying behavior for you.
One does have to make sure about safety, but for example at our dentist there is a big room with lots of people in it but parents are not allowed in.  Worked great for my kids and I am sure there would have been some clinginess otherwise.
Now for kids with special needs accommodations should be made but for a typical kid it works better.

Hillia

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19096 on: January 24, 2013, 11:14:31 AM »
I am going to go against the grain...I think that doctors/dentists have found that kids do better when their parents AREN"T there in general.
Likw how kids act better at school or the babysitter or at friends houses but save all their whining and annoying behavior for you.
One does have to make sure about safety, but for example at our dentist there is a big room with lots of people in it but parents are not allowed in.  Worked great for my kids and I am sure there would have been some clinginess otherwise.
Now for kids with special needs accommodations should be made but for a typical kid it works better.

When DS was about 7 he took gymnastics classes, and the other mothers thought that I was a horrible, uncaring parent because I didn't sit in the observation room cheering him on.  If I was there, he spent all his time looking at me, but when I left, he focused on the instructor and the class.  So I would either sit in my car and read, or sit in a far corner where he couldn't see me.  There was one mom in particular who made a big point of cheering for DS every time he walked across the room, all the time giving me dirty looks and shaking her head. 

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MommyPenguin

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19097 on: January 24, 2013, 11:32:48 AM »
The dentist that I was taking the kids to had individual rooms and also a big group room.  My youngest kids (3 and younger) at the time would be seen in the private room with me.  I sometimes had to hold them, and the littlest ones would be held down across my lap, with their head on the dentist's lap, to be checked.  Older kids would be seen in the big group room, so they were independent of their parents but also weren't in a private room with a dentist and no witnesses.  It worked fairly well, and my oldest loved being independent.  I'm assuming that if the kid needed more than a cleaning and tooth check, they'd have it done in a private room though (for filling cavities, root canals, etc.).

My daughters take gymnastics, and the lessons are in rooms that only the child can enter (unless it's a Mommy and me class for the littles).  The rooms have big windows to the main hall where everybody waits.  The only problem is that the kids can see their parents through the windows.  Sometimes this isn't an issue, especially with older kids, but younger kids are apt to show off when they see their parents watching, or just be distracted.  My husband thinks, for the insane price we're paying for gymnastics instruction, that it would be nice if they'd put one of those one-sided films on the window so that the parents can see in but the kids can't see out.

AfleetAlex

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19098 on: January 24, 2013, 02:18:50 PM »
Special snowflake icantbebotheredtogetthesnowoffmycarius: http://metro.co.uk/2013/01/21/snow-covered-audi-a3-pictured-driving-along-m4-motorway-in-south-wales-3359877/

I live in Michigan and we see similar people far more often than we ought to - i.e. they've cleared just the front windshield and nothing else. That driver, however, takes the cake - just one little hole to see out of??? Yikes!
I have a chronic case of foot-in-mouth disease.

snowdragon

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19099 on: January 24, 2013, 02:27:17 PM »
Special snowflake icantbebotheredtogetthesnowoffmycarius: http://metro.co.uk/2013/01/21/snow-covered-audi-a3-pictured-driving-along-m4-motorway-in-south-wales-3359877/

I live in Michigan and we see similar people far more often than we ought to - i.e. they've cleared just the front windshield and nothing else. That driver, however, takes the cake - just one little hole to see out of??? Yikes!
 
  He needs to be stopped before he kills someone.

Yarnspinner

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19100 on: January 24, 2013, 04:37:46 PM »
I've just stopped pounding my head on the desk after this little exchange.  Couldn't decide whether to put it here or the conversations that drive you crazy thread...then figured that this patron is a major snowflake (she's the one that wanted me to zip up her coat) so here she is again.

She trotted over and showed me some new electrical gadget (looked like a phone, but not really) and said "Do you have a card for this that's maybe lying around in lost and found and you can give it to me so I can use this?"

And I said "If we had a card for that in lost and found, it would mean someone else lost it and it belonged to THEM."

Snowflake stares at me.

"But see, it NEEDS a card."

"And we don't have any of those."

"But I could buy one."

"Yes, but we don't carry them.  Library, not computer store."

She contemplates this a while, then says "How many days until February 2nd?"

I give her the number of days until Saturday, February 2.  (9).

She continues "Oh, that's such a long time.  This month has been so long.  Why is it taking this month so long to go by?  Is the month usually this long?  Does it take a month this long to go by?"

"Well," I said "when you are waiting for something, it can make the month seem a lot longer than it is. "

Finally she wandered off and my coworker said "Kind of like that conversation probably seemed to take a lot longer than the five minutes it was."

Twik

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19101 on: January 24, 2013, 04:54:48 PM »
Yarnspinner, please tell me this was not an adult, or even a teenager.  :-\
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19102 on: January 24, 2013, 05:44:15 PM »
I am going to go against the grain...I think that doctors/dentists have found that kids do better when their parents AREN"T there in general.
Likw how kids act better at school or the babysitter or at friends houses but save all their whining and annoying behavior for you.
One does have to make sure about safety, but for example at our dentist there is a big room with lots of people in it but parents are not allowed in.  Worked great for my kids and I am sure there would have been some clinginess otherwise.
Now for kids with special needs accommodations should be made but for a typical kid it works better.

When DS was about 7 he took gymnastics classes, and the other mothers thought that I was a horrible, uncaring parent because I didn't sit in the observation room cheering him on.  If I was there, he spent all his time looking at me, but when I left, he focused on the instructor and the class.  So I would either sit in my car and read, or sit in a far corner where he couldn't see me.  There was one mom in particular who made a big point of cheering for DS every time he walked across the room, all the time giving me dirty looks and shaking her head.

that reminded me of this: 
http://alameda.patch.com/blog_posts/please-dont-help-my-kids

Quote
Dear Other Parents At The Park:

Please do not lift my daughters to the top of the ladder, especially after you've just heard me tell them I wasn't going to do it for them and encourage them to try it themselves.

I am not sitting here, 15 whole feet away from my kids, because I am too lazy to get up. I am sitting here because I didn't bring them to the park so they could learn how to manipulate others into doing the hard work for them. I brought them here so they could learn to do it themselves.

They're not here to be at the top of the ladder; they are here to learn to climb.

snowflake

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19103 on: January 24, 2013, 06:12:17 PM »
that reminded me of this: 
http://alameda.patch.com/blog_posts/please-dont-help-my-kids

Quote
Dear Other Parents At The Park:

Please do not lift my daughters to the top of the ladder, especially after you've just heard me tell them I wasn't going to do it for them and encourage them to try it themselves.

I am not sitting here, 15 whole feet away from my kids, because I am too lazy to get up. I am sitting here because I didn't bring them to the park so they could learn how to manipulate others into doing the hard work for them. I brought them here so they could learn to do it themselves.

They're not here to be at the top of the ladder; they are here to learn to climb.

Love this.

I am always the "mean" mother who is engendering self-reliance in her kids.  I am encouraging a 4-year-old to make her own sandwiches.  If she goes back to her depressed relatives, she and her brother are gonna always be able to feed themselves if I have anything to do with it!  Of course, besides the practical, it's just precious to see the face of a child figuring stuff out.  I can't imagine depriving a kid of the rush that self-efficacy brings.


ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19104 on: January 24, 2013, 06:41:39 PM »
I get that people can sometimes not plan enough time into their schedule to accomplish all of their morning tasks. However, your (general you) commute isn't the time to:

Gentlemen: Apply products and style your hair while your car is moving down the road! Shaving with an electric razor while driving. Changing clothes (everything but underwear) while stopped at an intersection.

Ladies: Applying makeup (not powder and lip gloss) while the car is moving. Styling hair with brushes while driving. Changing shirts while driving.

Yes, I have witnessed all of these. I also frequently see people reading magazines, newspapers and printed pages while traveling down the road. Today's winner, a guy reading his smartphone while driving his DeLorean.

wonderfullyanonymous

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19105 on: January 24, 2013, 07:05:44 PM »
that reminded me of this: 
http://alameda.patch.com/blog_posts/please-dont-help-my-kids

Quote
Dear Other Parents At The Park:

Please do not lift my daughters to the top of the ladder, especially after you've just heard me tell them I wasn't going to do it for them and encourage them to try it themselves.

I am not sitting here, 15 whole feet away from my kids, because I am too lazy to get up. I am sitting here because I didn't bring them to the park so they could learn how to manipulate others into doing the hard work for them. I brought them here so they could learn to do it themselves.

They're not here to be at the top of the ladder; they are here to learn to climb.

Love this.

I am always the "mean" mother who is engendering self-reliance in her kids.  I am encouraging a 4-year-old to make her own sandwiches.  If she goes back to her depressed relatives, she and her brother are gonna always be able to feed themselves if I have anything to do with it!  Of course, besides the practical, it's just precious to see the face of a child figuring stuff out.  I can't imagine depriving a kid of the rush that self-efficacy brings.

When my daughter was small, I would put a cup of milk in the fridge at night so she could make a bowl of cereal without dumping a gallon of milk on the floor, and I could sleep in occasionally.

nuit93

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19106 on: January 24, 2013, 07:06:30 PM »
Today's winner, a guy reading his smartphone while driving his DeLorean.

That sounds like a deleted scene from Back To The Future Part II.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19107 on: January 24, 2013, 07:11:08 PM »
that reminded me of this: 
http://alameda.patch.com/blog_posts/please-dont-help-my-kids

Quote
Dear Other Parents At The Park:

Please do not lift my daughters to the top of the ladder, especially after you've just heard me tell them I wasn't going to do it for them and encourage them to try it themselves.

I am not sitting here, 15 whole feet away from my kids, because I am too lazy to get up. I am sitting here because I didn't bring them to the park so they could learn how to manipulate others into doing the hard work for them. I brought them here so they could learn to do it themselves.

They're not here to be at the top of the ladder; they are here to learn to climb.

Love this.

I am always the "mean" mother who is engendering self-reliance in her kids.  I am encouraging a 4-year-old to make her own sandwiches.  If she goes back to her depressed relatives, she and her brother are gonna always be able to feed themselves if I have anything to do with it!  Of course, besides the practical, it's just precious to see the face of a child figuring stuff out.  I can't imagine depriving a kid of the rush that self-efficacy brings.

When my daughter was small, I would put a cup of milk in the fridge at night so she could make a bowl of cereal without dumping a gallon of milk on the floor, and I could sleep in occasionally.

I do this, too!  I have a kid-sized (Montessori) pitcher of milk in the fridge.  I started when my oldest was 3 with a little cup of Cheerios outside her door when she woke up.  She'd have some herself and poke others between the bars of the crib for her 1-year-old sister.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19108 on: January 24, 2013, 07:14:38 PM »
that reminded me of this: 
http://alameda.patch.com/blog_posts/please-dont-help-my-kids

Quote
Dear Other Parents At The Park:

Please do not lift my daughters to the top of the ladder, especially after you've just heard me tell them I wasn't going to do it for them and encourage them to try it themselves.

I am not sitting here, 15 whole feet away from my kids, because I am too lazy to get up. I am sitting here because I didn't bring them to the park so they could learn how to manipulate others into doing the hard work for them. I brought them here so they could learn to do it themselves.

They're not here to be at the top of the ladder; they are here to learn to climb.

Love this.

I am always the "mean" mother who is engendering self-reliance in her kids.  I am encouraging a 4-year-old to make her own sandwiches.  If she goes back to her depressed relatives, she and her brother are gonna always be able to feed themselves if I have anything to do with it!  Of course, besides the practical, it's just precious to see the face of a child figuring stuff out.  I can't imagine depriving a kid of the rush that self-efficacy brings.

I had neighbors who couldn't seem to get over the idea that my older two can cook a few things and do a few chores.  It's not a lot but these folks were astounded that we made the boys take out the trash and recycling on Monday nights, do their own laundry (not all the time, but maybe a load every few weeks.  And they know how to make a few things, such as mac & cheese, scrambled eggs, grilled cheese and omelets.  Simple stuff but the way these people reacted to it you'd think I expected the kids to cook gourmet meals for the family.   ::) 

Their oldest son's father was over there once when the boy's mother and her boyfriend were going on about this and said "Well when N's with me he can cook up some things. Nothing too complicated, usually just putting frozen nuggets on a cookie sheet and popping it in the oven."

My folks used to act scandalized when I didn't force the boys to rely on me for everything they needed and let them help themselves to a few things when they were old enough to open the fridge.  Not everything but I did keep things like apples and bananas or grapes.  So they'd go walking to the table with a banana and hear "Where'd he get that? Why do you let him help himself?" Yes, it's awful isn't it, they're helping themselves to nutrition! GASP!!!

Just call CPS on me now! *swoon*
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

LadyClaire

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #19109 on: January 24, 2013, 07:29:14 PM »
My mom's rule was that we could help ourselves to fruit and veggies but we had to ask for cookies or candy. We also knew how to fix sandwiches and such from a pretty young age.