that reminded me of this:
Dear Other Parents At The Park:
Please do not lift my daughters to the top of the ladder, especially after you've just heard me tell them I wasn't going to do it for them and encourage them to try it themselves.
I am not sitting here, 15 whole feet away from my kids, because I am too lazy to get up. I am sitting here because I didn't bring them to the park so they could learn how to manipulate others into doing the hard work for them. I brought them here so they could learn to do it themselves.
They're not here to be at the top of the ladder; they are here to learn to climb.
I am always the "mean" mother who is engendering self-reliance in her kids. I am encouraging a 4-year-old to make her own sandwiches. If she goes back to her depressed relatives, she and her brother are gonna always be able to feed themselves if I have anything to do with it! Of course, besides the practical, it's just precious to see the face of a child figuring stuff out. I can't imagine depriving a kid of the rush that self-efficacy brings.
I had neighbors who couldn't seem to get over the idea that my older two can cook a few things and do a few chores. It's not a lot but these folks were astounded that we made the boys take out the trash and recycling on Monday nights, do their own laundry (not all the time, but maybe a load every few weeks. And they know how to make a few things, such as mac & cheese, scrambled eggs, grilled cheese and omelets. Simple stuff but the way these people reacted to it you'd think I expected the kids to cook gourmet meals for the family.
Their oldest son's father was over there once when the boy's mother and her boyfriend were going on about this and said "Well when N's with me he can cook up some things. Nothing too complicated, usually just putting frozen nuggets on a cookie sheet and popping it in the oven."
My folks used to act scandalized when I didn't force the boys to rely on me for everything they needed and let them help themselves to a few things when they were old enough to open the fridge. Not everything but I did keep things like apples and bananas or grapes. So they'd go walking to the table with a banana and hear "Where'd he get that? Why do you let him help himself?" Yes, it's awful isn't it, they're helping themselves to nutrition! GASP!!!
Just call CPS on me now! *swoon*