DH is nominated here. About an hour ago (so 11:30 at night), I was sound asleep in our bedroom when DH walks in and proceeds to try to have a conversation with me -- yes, while I'm sleeping (and it's the 2nd time in a week or so that he's done this -- the first time, I flat out told him I was half-asleep and not paying attention to a word he was saying because, really, I was barely conscious and not wanting his unnaturally loud voice blaring me awake for a non-emergency reason in the middle of the night). This time, I gave him a grunt in response hoping he would stop talking (he did). DH then gets into bed with a total lack of grace so I feel all the vibrations on my side of the bed. Wait, it doesn't stop there. He then shifts but not like moving one limb or another but the kind of shifting where you lift yourself somewhat and thud back into place a few inches in one direction or another. He does this every few seconds. Then, as he continues to do this, he also decides he needs to read his iPhone -- his superbright iPhone in the darkness of our bedroom. All of this is taking place in our bedroom in our 1400+ SF home where he could be ANYWHERE else in the house than the one place I happen to be sleeping.
I endure all of this for about 5-10 minutes because I figure, with each action, he will settle down to sleep right afterwards. When he continued to ungracefully shift his bodyweight on the bed (so, really, eliminating my ability to go back to sleep since the bed keeps moving), I finally decide to just get up. However, I go straight to the bathroom because a) I really need to go anyway and b) I could conceal the additional reason I'm getting up.
While I'm in the bathroom obviously relieving myself, I hear DH come out of our bedroom (I'm pretty sure to find me). He finds I'm in the bathroom, I'm sure, since he goes back to our bedroom, so I'm hoping that that is the end of it. Nope. After I come out of the bathroom and head to the kitchen, he comes out of our bedroom again and confronts me, asking me why I got up. Seriously??? I thought, "I wasn't going to say a word." Besides, he had gotten up a few hours earlier in the evening, and I thought nothing of it. He pressed on with his questions so I told him, "Honestly? Being in bed was like Mr. Toad's Wild Ride. You kept moving and moving and moving so I finally decided just to get up. I wasn't going to say anything at all since I had to go to the bathroom anyway, but you insisted on knowing the answer."
I mean, really??? DH has not adjusted well to the idea that he lives with someone now (me) and that everything can't be his way (thus making him SS). He can't read his super-bright iPhone in the dark in our bedroom, keep making the bed move like it's a ship at sea, sleep smack dab in the middle so there's no room for me to be on it and make voluntary noises (like "comfort grunts" and loud sniffles because he refuses to get up and blow his nose) and expect that I, the other person in the bedroom, should not only not say a word but endure it, rather than move to another room so <gasp> I could actually sleep. I tried mentioning the noise thing to him a couple of times, but he got really offended so, now, I'll just get up. I'm perfectly happy to sleep in another room (not because I necessarily don't want to sleep next to him but because I'm happy to fall asleep on any other bed in our house). He takes it as an insult and, while I don't lodge any complaints as the reason why I'm sleeping elsewhere (see part where I'm happy to sleep anywhere in the house as a rule), if confronted, I'm going to tell him it's him if he pushes for the answer and it really is because of him.
To be fair, DH did apologize, although I think it was more an apology of frustration (AKA the non-apology of obligation because you feel your spouse not pleased). It went something like, "I'm sorry. I was trying to get comfortable. I guess I should've just stayed out of bed." I didn't respond as I had already been compelled to say more than I wanted to say and, also, my thought was, "Yeah, you should've stayed out of bed since I was sleeping while you were busy doing things that you could've done anywhere else in the house."
Yup, my normally considerate and lovable DH, for tonight, wins the SS award. Me, OTOH, once I get tired enough (like now), I'm going to, once again, happily crash on the couch in another room and know the only movement I'll feel is my own. : )