Bob: Look, I'm the type of guy that just calls it as I see it, I don't pull any punches, so when I see something is stupid, I'll tell you it's stupid, and getting up this early is stupid!
I like it when people say things like this. "I'm the kind of person who says whatever comes into my head without caring about how other people feel about it." Especially when they say it as though it's something they should be proud of: "I have the social skills of a two-year-old so there!" It's good to be able to write them off mentally as a borderline sociopath so I know not to waste time on them anymore. Otherwise it can take years to find out that they're not worth it.
My own story: I enjoy finding out things about ordinary days to make them interesting, e.g. famous historical events that happened on that day. Sometimes I have to go to Wikipedia or Google to find things out, but other times they're famous enough to not have to bother.
I was at work, where nearly everyone is lovely except one particular person, whom I shall call Flakey. It turned out that it was Flakey's birthday, and as we were all talking casually over lunch, I commented that it was cool to be born on the Ides of March.
Flakey: The what of March?
Me: The Ides of March. You know, "beware the Ides of March"
and Julius Caesar and all that.
Flakey: What on earth are you on about?
Me: It's the date when Julius Caesar was assassinated, in 44BCE. It was also in a Shakespeare play where he got warned of it by these fortune-telling witches, but he didn't take the advice. It's a pretty cool date to be born on--very important historically.
Flakey: How dare you!
Flakey: It's my
birthday, so I
know all about it, not you
. This is the worst birthday ever
! You don't have to go and make me look stupid! You're stupid!
And off Flakey goes, while the rest of us sit stunned for a few minutes before just going on to talk about witches. I thought it was more well-known, and that people were generally interested in cool facts about their birthdays, but apparently I'm not allowed to know more than the birthday snowflake.