Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5644803 times)

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Twik

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20430 on: April 10, 2013, 12:16:25 AM »
For those unwilling to wait for the auto club, most taxis will come and give a boost. It's not free, but it's quicker.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20431 on: April 10, 2013, 12:32:35 AM »
I'm not sure who was the SS here, my neighbour or me ...

I think you were--because your approach was very abrupt

And I think you still sort of are, because you sound as though you *still* think he should have been late to work in order to help you. As though your "three hours late" was his fault.

Quote
This is going back a few years when we were having a very cold day where I live, and the battery in my car was being temperamental.   My car refused to start one morning, and I didn't know what to do.  I saw that my neighbour was getting ready to leave for work, so I went up to him.  (Sidenote:  we'd never met or spoken to each other up to that point.) 

I said "Excuse me - do you have jumper cables?"  He looked startled and said "... Yes." 
of course hel ooked startled--you started in the middle of the conversation. And--you did the non-etiquette-approved thing of eliminating his polite excuse--sort of like saying, "what are you doing Friday?" and now the person can't say "I have plans."

"Would you mind giving me a boost?  My car won't start."

His response:  "No, because then I'll be late for work."

This guy is a great example for all of us. He went straight to the "no."

Now - I realize that he didn't know me (although he saw me walking across the back lane, so he knew I lived close by).  I also realize that I was asking him to do a favour for a stranger, and that doing said favour would have taken a few minutes.  But it would only have been five minutes, tops - probably not even that. 
I think you're being VERY optimistic. It would have taken twice that, probably. He has to pull the car over by yours, open the hood, attach the cables, start the car, check to be sure it work....

Because he refused to help me, I had to call the auto club where I live, and the upshot was that I was late for work - about three hours late.

bloo

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20432 on: April 10, 2013, 01:17:02 AM »
Shalamar, I do lean towards Toots reply to your posts on the subject ^^^

I've sympathy for you because I was in a similar sitch. Similar in that my battery died and I discovered that when I had to leave for work!

I approached my neighbor that was outside, but 1) I knew him, we'd already introduced ourselves and 2) it was odd hours so he wasn't on his way to work and 3) I would have perfectly understood a 'no'.

Nah, I didn't think he was obligated to help me ... I was a bit perplexed by the "I'll be late for work" reason, considering that I ended up missing half a day myself because he wouldn't spend five minutes boosting my car.    You're probably right about him not being able to risk being even five minutes late, though.


Like Virg said, you were late because your battery was dead, not because he wouldn't boost your car. Not your fault that your battery was dead, nor was it his fault that he wasn't able to accommodate helping you.

As a side note, this makes for a good argument to get to know your (general 'your') neighbors in a friendly way if possible. He wasn't willing to help you (as some neighbor he didn't know) but he might have been willing to be a few minutes late to work for a friend. Six months ago a woman ran out of gas in front of my house. I was on my way to an appointment, but weighed the lateness against helping her and decided to help, mostly because she was my friend and not a stranger (though I like to think I would have helped a stranger but who knows?).

Ereine

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20433 on: April 10, 2013, 03:27:45 AM »
The laundry room in my apartment building has a reservation system that generally works fine. There are three blocks that can be reserved, from 7 to 12, 12 to 4 and 4 to 9. I reserved the earliest time for today, I have to do two loads (I haven't had a chance to laundry for a while and I'm running out of clothes) and so I knew that if I start at 10 I have time to do them both (there's no rule that says that you have to start at the earliest time). Except someone thought that I wasn't going to show up at all and the washing machine was running when I got there. He showed up and his excuse was that he thought that I wasn't going to use the time I had reserved and it was the only time he had for laundry. Too bad it's also the only time I have for laundry, the only difference is that I was prepared for it and reserved the time. The reservation list shows my name and apartment number, so if he was that desperate he could have asked me.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20434 on: April 10, 2013, 09:21:20 AM »
The laundry room in my apartment building has a reservation system that generally works fine. There are three blocks that can be reserved, from 7 to 12, 12 to 4 and 4 to 9. I reserved the earliest time for today, I have to do two loads (I haven't had a chance to laundry for a while and I'm running out of clothes) and so I knew that if I start at 10 I have time to do them both (there's no rule that says that you have to start at the earliest time). Except someone thought that I wasn't going to show up at all and the washing machine was running when I got there. He showed up and his excuse was that he thought that I wasn't going to use the time I had reserved and it was the only time he had for laundry. Too bad it's also the only time I have for laundry, the only difference is that I was prepared for it and reserved the time. The reservation list shows my name and apartment number, so if he was that desperate he could have asked me.

I've had that happen.  I stop the machine and remove the clothes in it.  Reservations are not suggestions

Shalamar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20435 on: April 10, 2013, 10:46:50 AM »
I guess I'm used to my dad's way of doing things, which is to go out of his way to help people in trouble - even if he doesn't know them or it will inconvenience him.  I once saw him spend roughly half-an-hour helping out an old lady who'd locked her keys in her car. 

Anyway, I accept my SS status for that occasion.  :)

mmswm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20436 on: April 10, 2013, 11:50:20 AM »
I guess I'm used to my dad's way of doing things, which is to go out of his way to help people in trouble - even if he doesn't know them or it will inconvenience him.  I once saw him spend roughly half-an-hour helping out an old lady who'd locked her keys in her car. 

Anyway, I accept my SS status for that occasion.  :)

I was raised the same way.  Actually, my father is still like that.  Just last week he was headed out to the post office and saw some poor soul broken down on the main road near his house.  He stopped, asked a few questions and poked around a little bit in the woman's car's engine.  He then got her car running enough so it would make the 1/2 mile trip to the house and spent the next 3 hours fixing what turned out to be a completely blocked radiator hose while her kids played in the pool and mom fixed lunch for everybody. This is just stuff he does.  Sometimes it's easy to forget that sort of thing is far beyond normal.
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LadyDyani

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20437 on: April 10, 2013, 12:01:06 PM »
I guess I'm used to my dad's way of doing things, which is to go out of his way to help people in trouble - even if he doesn't know them or it will inconvenience him.  I once saw him spend roughly half-an-hour helping out an old lady who'd locked her keys in her car. 

Anyway, I accept my SS status for that occasion.  :)

I was raised the same way.  Actually, my father is still like that.  Just last week he was headed out to the post office and saw some poor soul broken down on the main road near his house.  He stopped, asked a few questions and poked around a little bit in the woman's car's engine.  He then got her car running enough so it would make the 1/2 mile trip to the house and spent the next 3 hours fixing what turned out to be a completely blocked radiator hose while her kids played in the pool and mom fixed lunch for everybody. This is just stuff he does.  Sometimes it's easy to forget that sort of thing is far beyond normal.

That sounds like something my dad would do, and something like that is one of the reasons I married my husband.  When we were dating, driving a beat up POS car, with no heat, in the middle of an Ohio winter, he pulled over on a busy street to help a car stuck in the snow.  We drove the lady to Meijer's so she could buy a shovel, (they were out of shovels, but they let her borrow their's), then he dug her car out.  She went back to Meijer's to return the shovel, and we went on our way.  It's one of the moments that convinced me that I loved him.
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Twik

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20438 on: April 10, 2013, 12:34:56 PM »
I guess I'm used to my dad's way of doing things, which is to go out of his way to help people in trouble - even if he doesn't know them or it will inconvenience him.  I once saw him spend roughly half-an-hour helping out an old lady who'd locked her keys in her car. 

Anyway, I accept my SS status for that occasion.  :)

I think it depends a lot on what the man's work was. For some people, 15 minutes either way is nothing. For others, it could be critical. For some people (like me) it depends on what your function is on that particular day.
My cousin's memoir of love and loneliness while raising a child with multiple disabilities will be out on Amazon soon! Know the Night, by Maria Mutch, has been called "full of hope, light, and companionship for surviving the small hours of the night."

Ereine

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20439 on: April 10, 2013, 01:41:59 PM »
The laundry room in my apartment building has a reservation system that generally works fine. There are three blocks that can be reserved, from 7 to 12, 12 to 4 and 4 to 9. I reserved the earliest time for today, I have to do two loads (I haven't had a chance to laundry for a while and I'm running out of clothes) and so I knew that if I start at 10 I have time to do them both (there's no rule that says that you have to start at the earliest time). Except someone thought that I wasn't going to show up at all and the washing machine was running when I got there. He showed up and his excuse was that he thought that I wasn't going to use the time I had reserved and it was the only time he had for laundry. Too bad it's also the only time I have for laundry, the only difference is that I was prepared for it and reserved the time. The reservation list shows my name and apartment number, so if he was that desperate he could have asked me.

I've had that happen.  I stop the machine and remove the clothes in it.  Reservations are not suggestions

I was going to but ended up letting the machine finish (though it made me feel a bit spineless), it was only 20 minutes and I had (barely) enough time to finish my loads. Besides, I don't think that it's possible to stop the machine after a certain time has passed, I think that there's something like only 10 minutes  when it's possible. It did really annoy me, it has happened to me before and I got the same excuse then, they thought that I wasn't using the machine as I wasn't there then. With five hours to my washing, do they really expect that I'm going to spend every minute of it doing the laundry. 

gramma dishes

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20440 on: April 10, 2013, 01:45:52 PM »
... With five hours to my washing, do they really expect that I'm going to spend every minute of it doing the laundry.

Maybe they should break the 'schedule' down into smaller increments.  I can kind of see why if there's a five hour stretch, someone might assume that if they find the washer empty,  the person scheduled to use it plans to use it "later". 

Virg

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20441 on: April 10, 2013, 01:52:03 PM »
gramma dishes wrote:

"Maybe they should break the 'schedule' down into smaller increments.  I can kind of see why if there's a five hour stretch, someone might assume that if they find the washer empty,  the person scheduled to use it plans to use it "later"."

For someone who needs to do a family's worth of laundry, five hours isn't all that long so breaking it up would just mean that big families would need to reserve multiple slots.  Also, since the sign-up sheet lists the schedule by name and apartment, it's on the queue jumper to go ask if the machines are free, not just assume.

Virg

LazyDaisy

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20442 on: April 10, 2013, 02:37:26 PM »
gramma dishes wrote:

"Maybe they should break the 'schedule' down into smaller increments.  I can kind of see why if there's a five hour stretch, someone might assume that if they find the washer empty,  the person scheduled to use it plans to use it "later"."

For someone who needs to do a family's worth of laundry, five hours isn't all that long so breaking it up would just mean that big families would need to reserve multiple slots.  Also, since the sign-up sheet lists the schedule by name and apartment, it's on the queue jumper to go ask if the machines are free, not just assume.

Virg
That actually sounds like a good thing though. As long as it's allowed, and there are several consecutive slots, why not? This way the laundry room can accommodate 5 people with 1 hour time slots or 1 person with a 5 hour slot, or mix them up. This would also allow for the 5 hour person to start at say 11:00 am instead of having to begin at 7:00. I agree that in this instance, however, the jumper should have asked and I would make a complaint about him to the super/manager. They can give him a warning and if he has a habit of this ban him from using the facilities if he can't follow the rules.
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LadyDyani

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20443 on: April 10, 2013, 02:57:46 PM »
gramma dishes wrote:

"Maybe they should break the 'schedule' down into smaller increments.  I can kind of see why if there's a five hour stretch, someone might assume that if they find the washer empty,  the person scheduled to use it plans to use it "later"."

For someone who needs to do a family's worth of laundry, five hours isn't all that long so breaking it up would just mean that big families would need to reserve multiple slots.  Also, since the sign-up sheet lists the schedule by name and apartment, it's on the queue jumper to go ask if the machines are free, not just assume.

Virg
That actually sounds like a good thing though. As long as it's allowed, and there are several consecutive slots, why not? This way the laundry room can accommodate 5 people with 1 hour time slots or 1 person with a 5 hour slot, or mix them up. This would also allow for the 5 hour person to start at say 11:00 am instead of having to begin at 7:00. I agree that in this instance, however, the jumper should have asked and I would make a complaint about him to the super/manager. They can give him a warning and if he has a habit of this ban him from using the facilities if he can't follow the rules.

Devil's advocate:  Needing to do five hours worth of laundry and only being able to do in one hour increments at various times over three days would be extremely frustrating.  I'm betting the choice slots would go first, and the users may not be able to get consecutive spots.
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Hmmmmm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20444 on: April 10, 2013, 03:15:13 PM »
I guess I'm used to my dad's way of doing things, which is to go out of his way to help people in trouble - even if he doesn't know them or it will inconvenience him.  I once saw him spend roughly half-an-hour helping out an old lady who'd locked her keys in her car. 

Anyway, I accept my SS status for that occasion.  :)

I think it depends a lot on what the man's work was. For some people, 15 minutes either way is nothing. For others, it could be critical. For some people (like me) it depends on what your function is on that particular day.
My dad was like this as well but he never had to clock in on the time clock so his time was flexible. But I also remember being the one sitting in a car late to where ever we were going because Dad felt he just had to stop and offer assistance.  But this was before cell phones and easy access to roadside assistance programs. With todays communication access, I'm not sure the need is as great to have someone stop and offer assistance.