Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 4391341 times)

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Bottlecaps

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20565 on: April 22, 2013, 10:50:42 AM »
My mother sat in the back when me and my sister were little as my sister was more challenging compared to me to get her to stay in one spot quietly then later on was able to move closer to front of the church. I feel she was being polite in what she did until my sister would not dart off into the next county and make a commotion at the same time.

That's exactly what my mother and grandmother did with me, my older sister, and my younger sister when we were kids. We always sat in the back pew of the church so we could step out if need be without disturbing the service. We were actually pretty well-behaved kids (well, me and ODS - YDS was kind of another story, LOL), but of course when we were babies, well, babies cry and fuss when they need something and there's nothing one can do about that. And even older kids can sometimes be unpredictable!
"Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes." -Tori Amos


Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20566 on: April 22, 2013, 10:52:34 AM »
If it had been the baby being baptized, obviously she would have had to stay.  But I agree with you that one of the adults should have taken her out, especially with CCTV set up.  I think it would have been fine for an usher to approach them and ask that they take the baby out for at least the duration of the ceremony.

Pod.  Our church doesn't have a cctv but they do have the priest's microphone wired such that you can hear her over a PA system in the hallway and in the nursery.   The little ones stay in the nursery until after the exchange of the peace and then are brought in but if your child needs to be removed you can still hear what's going on in the nursery. 

When there's a baptism they bring the kids participating in Children's Chapel and the nursery back in so all of the congregation is present for it, but if your child's not the one baptized and is kicking up a fuss, they would rather you take your infant/toddler out than disturb the service.  Our church is pretty tolerant to kid noises during Rite II as it's a more family-oriented service as opposed to Rite I which is earlier and more adult focused.  If your toddler is quietly babbling or giggling, or asking questions about the service, few people mind.

When it's someone new that comes in with a small child the typical MO is "Oh just to let you know, we have a nursery here for little ones and you'd still be able to hear the service!"

My youngest behaves better when his older brothers are not in the pew.  Yesterday they were acolytes and singing in the choir so Piratebabe was relatively quiet.
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

artk2002

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20567 on: April 22, 2013, 10:53:25 AM »
Of course, if the hole had never been there, he wouldn't have tried to go through. So if your natural bent was to keep that spacing tight, you'd have closed the hole the moment it opened, sooner than he tried to take the turn.

My sons have their learner's permits and have been driving a lot recently. This is one of the toughest things for me to work with them, especially on the freeway. Here, if you keep a proper distance (one car length per 10mph), you'll spend your time being cut off right and left, even if you're going at the speed of traffic. Judging a practical following distance is a matter of gut feeling and that's hard to teach. Fortunately, they won't have to go on the freeway for their test.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Hmmmmm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20568 on: April 22, 2013, 10:59:31 AM »

After church, I mentioned to DH that it would have been better if one of our ushers approached the family and asked them to take the baby to the quiet room.  DH said that would be unkind and could turn that whole family away from attending the church.  I said OK, but what about Emily and her family, who we've all known for years?  Shouldn't we be concerned about their feelings, too?  I called the baby's family special snowflakes.  DH said they weren't, and maybe the mother was just nervous about leaving the baby in the baby nursery.  I said that would be fine, she could still go to the quiet room out of consideration to the rest of the congregation - even if there wasn't important ceremony going on.  It's polite to take a baby out of a quiet setting when he or she is crying.  He says that's not very welcoming.

So what say you?
They should have moved the child to the quiet room. When they didn't either the ushers or the minister should have told them to take the child out. I hope at the very least the minister or someone from the church makes it clear in the future crying babies should be removed.

I agree with this.  If they are asked politely and kindly to have someone take the child outside until the child has calmed down, there is no reason why they should have their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome.

And if they did get their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome, then they may not be the right fit for this particular church community. Asking someone to take a disruptive child away from a solemn ceremony is not, in any way, shape or form, out of line. If a simple request to respect the rest of the community puts their knickers in a twist, what else will they do?
Agreed.  Having an usher approach the family and saying "Let me show you were our quiet room is and you can watch the service from there." should not make anyone feel unwelcome. Instead they are trying to assist the family.

And I don't think it matters if the girl being baptized was a beloved member of the church that many fellow worshipers cherish. I'm not sure why that was important to the conversation. Even if it had been our finance chair giving his twice annual dry boring report, it was rude of the family to not remove the crying child.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20569 on: April 22, 2013, 10:59:35 AM »
My aunt and uncle were asked to leave their church, which was particularly difficult because it was the only one of their demonization nearby and they lived on an island.  I've only heard my aunt's side of the affair, but I suspect the real reason was that she refused to take my cousins out of the sanctuary when they got fussy.

artk2002

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20570 on: April 22, 2013, 11:03:03 AM »
My aunt and uncle were asked to leave their church, which was particularly difficult because it was the only one of their demonization nearby and they lived on an island.  I've only heard my aunt's side of the affair, but I suspect the real reason was that she refused to take my cousins out of the sanctuary when they got fussy.

I don't usually point out typos, but that one's pretty good!  >:D
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bow lines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover. -Mark Twain

Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20571 on: April 22, 2013, 11:06:36 AM »
Stupid iPad autocorrect - but I think I'll leave that as it is  :P

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20572 on: April 22, 2013, 11:06:57 AM »
My aunt and uncle were asked to leave their church, which was particularly difficult because it was the only one of their demonization nearby and they lived on an island.  I've only heard my aunt's side of the affair, but I suspect the real reason was that she refused to take my cousins out of the sanctuary when they got fussy.

I know what you meant, but hilarious...

nuit93

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20573 on: April 22, 2013, 11:54:27 AM »

After church, I mentioned to DH that it would have been better if one of our ushers approached the family and asked them to take the baby to the quiet room.  DH said that would be unkind and could turn that whole family away from attending the church.  I said OK, but what about Emily and her family, who we've all known for years?  Shouldn't we be concerned about their feelings, too?  I called the baby's family special snowflakes.  DH said they weren't, and maybe the mother was just nervous about leaving the baby in the baby nursery.  I said that would be fine, she could still go to the quiet room out of consideration to the rest of the congregation - even if there wasn't important ceremony going on.  It's polite to take a baby out of a quiet setting when he or she is crying.  He says that's not very welcoming.

So what say you?
They should have moved the child to the quiet room. When they didn't either the ushers or the minister should have told them to take the child out. I hope at the very least the minister or someone from the church makes it clear in the future crying babies should be removed.

I agree with this.  If they are asked politely and kindly to have someone take the child outside until the child has calmed down, there is no reason why they should have their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome.

And if they did get their feelings hurt or feel unwelcome, then they may not be the right fit for this particular church community. Asking someone to take a disruptive child away from a solemn ceremony is not, in any way, shape or form, out of line. If a simple request to respect the rest of the community puts their knickers in a twist, what else will they do?

Oh, the stories I could tell about entitled parents and screaming kids in a church...

VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20574 on: April 22, 2013, 12:05:08 PM »
My aunt and uncle were asked to leave their church, which was particularly difficult because it was the only one of their demonization nearby and they lived on an island.  I've only heard my aunt's side of the affair, but I suspect the real reason was that she refused to take my cousins out of the sanctuary when they got fussy.

Interesting Freudian slip there......and I suspect that you're probably right.

I visited more than one church in our younger days (military spouse - we moved) that VorGuy vetoed going back to for that reason.  Or chose because the "cry room" was used......even though the pastor changed six months later and the interim and new pastors changed things a lot....he quit going, in fact, because of so many changes to the way it had been done by the previous pastor (he was out there three or four times a year for part time service with the Reserves - he'd been going there part time, as it were, for more than two years when we finally got recalled to active duty and MOVED the whole family).

The new pastor was a bit of a SS and a "new broom that sweeps clean", I suspect that some of the changes to the way things were set up were made was just because he wanted things done differently than they had been.......and VorGuy wasn't the only member who quit coming over the changes. 
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Friday

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20575 on: April 22, 2013, 12:09:28 PM »
Parking lot special snowflakes....

I work for a large company with a large campus outside of the metro area.  They have several lots and small ramps for parking around both enterances.  Over the weekend, the closed up the largest lot by one door.  When I came in today, I noticed that all the "visitor" spots were completely full, early on a Monday... yeah, right...  One of the cars is a BRIGHT ORANGE vehicle that's been in the lot for weeks.... like we don't know that he's an employer/contractor, NOT a visitor and not eligble to park there.

I work closely with our security people.  They tell me that they are engaging a private firm to ticket and tow during the construction. 


LazyDaisy

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20576 on: April 22, 2013, 12:31:45 PM »

DP starts fussing at me about moving up already

I've had to really blast my DH before he would stop telling me how to drive. No, I'm not speeding up now just because YOU would; *I* don't feel comfortable going that fast on city streets, even if you do. And even if I am 10 miles below the speed limit.

Quote

 (most of the space between my car and the one in front was the travel lane for people turning onto the freeway from the opposite direction, so I'd have been in their way - and there's still that semi with the turn signal) so I said no... and just as I did, some moron goes flying around the traffic waiting behind me, squeals through the gap between me and the semi (nearly hitting us both) and stops short, with the back of his truck blocking the lane. If I'd have listened to DP, I'd have been hit broadside, just where she was sitting, as I'd have JUST pushed forward when he slipped through.

I know the other driver was an SS. I wish DP wasn't so SS too!

Of course, if the hole had never been there, he wouldn't have tried to go through. So if your natural bent was to keep that spacing tight, you'd have closed the hole the moment it opened, sooner than he tried to take the turn.
I'm a bit with RebeccainGA's DP. If everyone follows the rules of right of way, there would be far fewer accidents. It's not just the aggressive drivers that cause accidents -- timid drivers who do unexpected things also cause accidents -- hitting the brakes unexpectedly, driving too slow for the flow of traffic/conditions, not following the rules of right of way. While I know not everyone does follow those rules, I can't control that, and I don't want to contribute to the problem, so I follow the rules. If it's my turn to go, I go. This isn't just polite to all of the other cars behind me, it's also the safe thing because that's what other drivers expect. Going 10 miles an hour below the speed limit frustrates other drivers. While most will quietly curse, there will be one who decides not to get caught behind the slow driver and will try to dart around them. If I'm in a long line of traffic and the car in front of me keeps allowing in more merging cars instead of pulling forward and letting the traffic flow together like a zipper, I will now need to change lanes (safely) in order to continue on my way; whereas if traffic just kept moving, albeit slowly, I'd be fine where I am.

My father is a timid driver and I can't stand to be in the car with him. He brakes for green lights (because it might turn yellow  ::) ), he drives too slowly, he stops and lets people make left-hand turns in front of him (he has the right of way). He causes cars behind him to swerve to avoid hitting him because they aren't expecting what he's doing. It's my "safe" dad who is really causing the trouble.
"A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools." Douglas Adams

LadyDyani

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20577 on: April 22, 2013, 12:34:09 PM »
It has just been brought to my attention that Brutus and his sister Sadie are special snowflakes.  Not only do they block the walkway between the couch and wall:



but I was just sitting here reading the SS thread in between appointments when I heard barking from out back.  Since we don't yet have our backyard fenced (hopefully next summer), they have a 50 foot dog run that attaches to their collars. Sometimes Brutus will wind himself around around a bush and won't be able to reach the back door.  When that happens, he'll bark for me, and I'll go unwind him and he'll go inside while I try to fix the rope so it doesn't happen again.  (We could shorten it, but I really don't want to give them a smaller area to play)

Three times today, I've heard him barking, gone out back, and there he sits, not wound up or anything, six feet away from the door.  He just wanted the door open before he started walking toward it.  What a little prince.  Now he sits in hubby's recliner, snoring, while I try to work, and Sadie lays on the couch, obstructing my track ball.  I've gotten to the point I just use her as an armrest instead of shooing her down. So. Spoiled. Rotten.

Edited to add:  I am now typing this around Brutus's head.  He got down from the recliner, walked over, jumped onto the couch, put his head in my lap, and went back to sleep. Snoring rather loudly. You have to admire the audacity.  I'm glad I have the touch pad turned off.
« Last Edit: April 22, 2013, 01:35:21 PM by LadyDyani »
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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20578 on: April 22, 2013, 12:38:26 PM »
We left one church because there was no nursery or cry room.  There was the set up for a nursery in the rectory but you'd miss out of the service completely while in there and so I'd end up missing the service and started thinking "Well what's the point of going, then?"  It would be one thing if it really mattered to DH to go, but it didn't and since then his parents have stopped attending there as well. 

We could have gotten something worked out perhaps, but our older two were the only nursery aged kids in attendance each week because it was an older congregation.  I do like cry rooms/nurseries.  One base church I attended had an intercom but it was played so softly that you couldn't hear it over the cries and screams of the kids so it was pretty much pointless. 

As for pet SS, my boys always complain when they get up and come back to find a cat in their spot. Sorry, they like warm spots. :)

Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

MariaE

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20579 on: April 22, 2013, 02:04:43 PM »
My sister was once asked to leave the nursery because her kid was crying and it was disturbing the other children  :o  So... She was supposed to go back into the church itself instead??  ???

For some odd reason they never really felt at home in that place...
 
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