Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 4385677 times)

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NyaChan

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20670 on: April 24, 2013, 03:44:18 PM »
I remember when my daughter was small and asked for something that she plain couldn't have - I can't remember what it was, but for the sake of argument, let's say that it was a very expensive toy.  The way she phrased it was "Please will you buy me that?"  When I said "No, honey, it's too expensive," she sputtered in outrage "But I said PLEASE!".  :)

I'm a bit embarrassed to say it, but I remember something similar in my own childhood.  I think I had asked my mom and sister to turn on the radio and I still remember this sense of shock that I had politely asked and yet they were flouting my will  ;)

LazyDaisy

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20671 on: April 24, 2013, 03:44:39 PM »
DP and I have an ongoing debate of sorts going on this point - I say, it's better to avoid the accident than be right. She's more of a 'it's my right of way, no you can't share it, you'll get the ticket not me' on these things.


One of my favorite "funny" epitaphs:
Quote
This is the grave of Mike ODay
Who died maintaining his right of way.
His right was clear, his will was strong,
But hes just as dead as if hed been wrong.

I love that :-)

One of my favorite lines that I use in the context of relationships and also at work is "would you rather be right or happy?"  'cos picking your battles is wise.

I think my grandfather had that in mind when he told me, at a very young age, that people had the right of way when crossing the road, but cars were bigger, and cars would win if they hit me, and being right wouldn't keep me alive.  I think I was about 5 years old.


Please, no legal advice on this forum.
« Last Edit: April 24, 2013, 03:57:27 PM by cass2591 »
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NyaChan

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20672 on: April 24, 2013, 04:02:05 PM »
SS story -

I was reading at Starbucks and grabbed a 2 person table since I was alone.  Another girl walked in and grabbed the only large table which seats 6 people.  Doesn't spread out, just pulls out one laptop and puts her bag on the chair.  In comes a group of 4 people.  They look around, see only small circle tables and then this one large table.  They ask the girl if they can use the table since they have a group.  The girl pushes back in her chair, throws her hands up in outrage, and stage whispers with this intense outrage - "I'm working here!"  I almost laughed out loud - I was sitting behind her and she was totally on Failblog.

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20673 on: April 24, 2013, 04:02:27 PM »
My grandpa told me he put vaseline on the pole that supported their bird feeder, thinking the squirrels would just slide down and not be able to get to it.  No, instead they just climbed up and slid down till they wore all the vaseline off and finally got to the seed.

Lololol that's awesome  :D

Some greasy SS squirrels there.

MrTango

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20674 on: April 24, 2013, 04:02:38 PM »
My grandpa found a solution to the squirrel/bird feeder problem: electric fence.

Since he operated a dairy farm, they already had an electric fence around the pastures, so it was an easy task to run a cable to his bird feeder and install a chicken-wire basket around the iron pole (insulated with a heavy-duty rubber wrap).

I was surprised that the shock (voltage meant to contain large animals) didn't seem to do any lasting harm to the little squirrels.  I was also surprised that it frequently took 3-4 tries before a squirrel would give up.

bloo

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20675 on: April 24, 2013, 04:06:20 PM »
My DH was telling me about an article that was posted at our daycare. (I presume to read and discuss at home.) The gist of it was that we're all teaching our kids to be TOO polite, which is causing other children to become entitled and think that they can get anything if they ask for it, and perhaps we should teach our children to refuse to share.

I told DH that I don't think our DD that shares is the problem...

I didn't read the article but there was a piece on it on GMA.  Once you hear the whole thing, it makes quite a bit of sense. 

The school in the piece had multiples of toys so that several children could be playing with the same item at the same time.  It also makes sense to teach children that they don't necessarily have to hand over something just because someone has taken a shine to it. 

Of course, sharing is important to learn but it's also important to learn how to handle the occasional 'No'.

I remember having this discussion with my 15 yo DD about 5 years ago. We were in the multimedia center of the library and my DD was playing video games. I was reading a magazine while she played and 5 unsupervised siblings* came trooping in and the youngest was probably 3. Her older sister was watching her (I'm guessing she was anywhere from 13-15) and just thought it was 'so cute' when the 3 yo crawled into my DD's lap and took the game controller from her...which - to my chagrin - my 10 yo DD just let her take (it isn't like my DD 'let's' her brother grab a game controller right out of her hands).

So I put my magazine down, plucked the controller out of the 3 yo's hands and handed it back to DD. Then I took the 3 yo off of her lap and handed her to her sister saying, 'You need to take her'. I then kept a polite smile on my face and explained to DD, in front of the other girls, "You do not need to give something up just because someone else wants it. Unless you want to. Do you want to quit playing? Have you had a long enough turn?"

DD said, "No, I wasn't done. It's been 5 minutes (library rules give them 30)."

I said, "Okay," and picked up my magazine while the other teen stood there holding her sister, trying to puzzle out what just happened.

I definitely think my kids learned to 'overshare' because they actually had to be taught that it's okay to not share sometimes!

*all have some kind of developmental delay as well as physical problems - they regularly come in, cause a ruckus, and then get chucked out by the library staff. Parents are nice but 'off'. I have no idea why they don't just come into the library with them.

Ms_Cellany

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20676 on: April 24, 2013, 04:08:44 PM »
My grandpa found a solution to the squirrel/bird feeder problem: electric fence.

Since he operated a dairy farm, they already had an electric fence around the pastures, so it was an easy task to run a cable to his bird feeder and install a chicken-wire basket around the iron pole (insulated with a heavy-duty rubber wrap).

I was surprised that the shock (voltage meant to contain large animals) didn't seem to do any lasting harm to the little squirrels.  I was also surprised that it frequently took 3-4 tries before a squirrel would give up.

If the squirrels weren't in contact with the ground, they wouldn't necessarily get a shock.
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magician5

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20677 on: April 24, 2013, 04:12:54 PM »
I volunteer at a museum, where I do programs for 4th graders (about age 9). At one point, I show them a sample of real gold. About every 4th or 5th program, one of the students will say "Can I have it?" in that tone that implies "Ask and ye shall receive." I've been wondering why so many kids seem to think that a museum will be happy to hand over a valuable specimen, just because they asked.

I remember when my daughter was small and asked for something that she plain couldn't have - I can't remember what it was, but for the sake of argument, let's say that it was a very expensive toy.  The way she phrased it was "Please will you buy me that?"  When I said "No, honey, it's too expensive," she sputtered in outrage "But I said PLEASE!".  :)

To my mind, neither of these children's actions come as surprises.

Regarding the first instance, I heard an anecdote long ago in which a volunteer in a poor foreign country played his harmonica, and was immediately beseiged by local children asking to be given the harmonica. All he could say (and a very good idea it was) was "I wish I could give you a harmonica. ... and I wish I could give you two harmonicas ... and I wish I could give you a thousand harmonicas ..." It was far better than just closing down and saying "no".

In the second case ("...but I said PLEASE...") it's really that the child needs to learn the other half of the lesson. How often do we treat children somewhat like dogs, dangling treats and demanding that they say "please" before we'll give them the treat? Again, it should help to explain "I wish I could buy it for you, but I just can't".
There is no 'way to peace.' Peace is the way.

MariaE

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20678 on: April 24, 2013, 04:25:44 PM »
I remember when my daughter was small and asked for something that she plain couldn't have - I can't remember what it was, but for the sake of argument, let's say that it was a very expensive toy.  The way she phrased it was "Please will you buy me that?"  When I said "No, honey, it's too expensive," she sputtered in outrage "But I said PLEASE!".  :)

I remember Michelle doing that in Full House.

Michelle: May I have that cookie, please?
DJ: No, you may not.
Michelle: But I was polite and said please!
DJ: And I was polite and said 'No, you may not'.
Michelle: That's it! Politeness week is OVER!!!
 
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MrTango

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20679 on: April 24, 2013, 04:30:09 PM »
My grandpa found a solution to the squirrel/bird feeder problem: electric fence.

Since he operated a dairy farm, they already had an electric fence around the pastures, so it was an easy task to run a cable to his bird feeder and install a chicken-wire basket around the iron pole (insulated with a heavy-duty rubber wrap).

I was surprised that the shock (voltage meant to contain large animals) didn't seem to do any lasting harm to the little squirrels.  I was also surprised that it frequently took 3-4 tries before a squirrel would give up.

If the squirrels weren't in contact with the ground, they wouldn't necessarily get a shock.

The feeder was mounted to an iron pole.  Anything touching the pole was grounded just as if it was standing on the lawn.

Shalamar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20680 on: April 24, 2013, 05:11:53 PM »
Heh.  As I recall, my reaction was "You were very polite, and I'm proud of you for that.  But I can't afford to buy it, and I'm afraid 'please' won't make a difference." 

Thipu1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20681 on: April 24, 2013, 05:25:11 PM »
Heh.  As I recall, my reaction was "You were very polite, and I'm proud of you for that.  But I can't afford to buy it, and I'm afraid 'please' won't make a difference."

In the early days of E-Hell someone had a wonderful sig about this.

  It was a strip cartoon.  A very little kid asked for a 'live elephant' with pleasant but quite smug body language and was told that the answer was ''NO'.  The kid threw a  fit and complained that he had, 'Asked nicely'.  His Mom responded that, 'Asking nicely won't always get you what you want'. this is something that children need to learn.


faithlessone

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20682 on: April 24, 2013, 05:36:43 PM »
Heh.  As I recall, my reaction was "You were very polite, and I'm proud of you for that.  But I can't afford to buy it, and I'm afraid 'please' won't make a difference."

In the early days of E-Hell someone had a wonderful sig about this.

  It was a strip cartoon.  A very little kid asked for a 'live elephant' with pleasant but quite smug body language and was told that the answer was ''NO'.  The kid threw a  fit and complained that he had, 'Asked nicely'.  His Mom responded that, 'Asking nicely won't always get you what you want'. this is something that children need to learn.

My grandmother used to say that "Asking nicely won't always get you want you want, but demanding rudely never will." (She was also very firm that simply saying the word 'please' didn't count as asking nicely, if it was said in a demanding tone!!)

Katana_Geldar

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20683 on: April 24, 2013, 05:44:18 PM »
A response may be "Well, perhaps someone be fortunate enough to get one at Christmas/birthday".

Kids need to be also taught that good things are worth waiting for.

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #20684 on: April 24, 2013, 05:47:27 PM »
I sing to my kids when they whine about wanting something.  "You can't always get what you want..."
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata