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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6306524 times)

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Moralia

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21015 on: May 13, 2013, 09:55:16 PM »
Can birds be special snowflakes?  The weather has been so warm here that I've been opening up all the windows in the evening to cool the house down.  The first night, I left the spare bedroom and the bathroom open but had to close my bedroom (bathroom is connected) because of the street lights and the blind rattles if the window is open.  4:00 am, I have to get up and close the bathroom window because the dang birds were so loud.  It's not even light out yet, for Pete's sake.  Shut up!

 :D
Of course they can!  One very SS of the avian variety decided that I had put that pretty wreath on my door just for her to build a nest in it.  When we removed the nest, she built it again.  We removed nest AND wreath, whereupon she moved around to the back and built a nest on the rungs of DH's step ladder! That nest we allowed to stay, but after the baby birds left the nest, the ladder was removed.   Her second nest of the year she built on top of the beer refrigerator on the back porch.

We were obligated to provide her with a nest site, dingdangity it!

For years in the springtime no matter where he parked it, not matter how he tried to cover it, a bird would invariably nest in my dad's motorcycle. Every year, he couldn't take his bike out for at least two months.

MommyPenguin

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21016 on: May 14, 2013, 04:32:04 PM »
My husband and I are pretty lucky, I guess!  We're not so different in height, although I have a long torso, so when we're sitting up next to each other, I'm taller.  Which means his legs are a *lot* longer than mine.  We've managed to reach a compromise position in the minivan, so that I'm a little farther back than I'd like to be, and he's a bit closer than he'd like to be, but it works well enough for each of us that we can just leave it alone and not have to adjust it back and forth.  The minivan is my primary vehicle, but he drives it a good bit as well.  He also has a car that I almost never drive, so he adjusts that to his convenience.

twiggy

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21017 on: May 15, 2013, 02:08:50 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)
In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children.  The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted.  The result is unruly children and childish adults.  ~Thomas Szasz

stitchygreyanonymouse

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21018 on: May 15, 2013, 03:09:08 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.

Ed for white-out
« Last Edit: May 15, 2013, 06:55:12 PM by stitchygreyanonymouse »

Diane AKA Traska

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21019 on: May 15, 2013, 03:41:42 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.

Okay, I'm not even that gender at this point in my life, and I nearly fainted from reading that.  YIKES.
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Coralreef

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21020 on: May 15, 2013, 04:48:35 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.

Okay, I'm not even that gender at this point in my life, and I nearly fainted from reading that.  YIKES.

OK, I'm holding the girls right now... I swear they just lurched in my bra. 

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Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21021 on: May 15, 2013, 05:14:18 PM »
Gonna white this out just in case, but it is one of my funnier stories from my high school internship at the local hospital (in relation to the squirm-inducing topic at hand):

I job shadowed several people at the hospital, including the pathologist for a while.  A big part of her job was doing tissue biopsies.  Also worth noting that this was a Catholic hospital, run by nuns.  So one day the nun who ran the hospital came through, taking a number of visiting nuns on a tour of the facility.  As it so happened, the pathologist had a breast to biopsy, which had just been removed as part of a mastectomy.  (I'll admit that was the one thing that made me squeamish - seeing her have to cut part of the nipple to biopsy was seriously creepy.)

Anyway, it went something like this:

Head of hospital (nun): ". . . and here we have the pathology lab!  Good morning, [Pathologist's Name.]  What are you working on this morning?"

Pathologist: [glancing over at the group of a dozen nuns, all in full habits, all looking around interestedly] I, ah, well . . . *whispers* it's a breast.

Entire group of nuns: *turn bright red, hurry on out of the pathology lab*

The pathologist and I looked at each other and we just lost it  :P


MommyPenguin

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21022 on: May 15, 2013, 05:20:39 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.

Yeesh, I've never heard of that!  Was she able to... get it reattached?  Or something?  I'm very glad my kids don't seem to get teeth until around 1 year of age, which is right when I wean.  Coincidence?  :)  My current baby does love to latch on and then abruptly turn her head.

Kimblee

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21023 on: May 15, 2013, 05:24:52 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.

Okay, I'm not even that gender at this point in my life, and I nearly fainted from reading that.  YIKES.

OK, I'm holding the girls right now... I swear they just lurched in my bra.

Yep... They tried to reverse-grow back into my chest.
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Ms_Cellany

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21024 on: May 15, 2013, 05:25:45 PM »

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off!

Reminds me of Jeff Foxworthy's "You have my full attention" story.
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Yarnspinner

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21025 on: May 15, 2013, 05:27:12 PM »
It's turning into a blizzard here.

Today's entitled and undoable request goes to Parka Lady (who wears a parka and scarf year round) who wanted to use a computer that was NOT surrounded by other people.  We stood and looked at our fifty or so computers which were all occupied but one.  She didn't want the one that was available because there were other people sitting one either side of it.  I was shocked that she didn't expect me to make them move as well.

There was the man who didn't like our bathrooms and so walked through the doors that read "staff only" and went looking for a better bathroom.  (I should have taken him up to Stonecold's bathroom, as she has stated that we can take patrons to her private potty, but I was on my way to lunch, which takes precedence over being snide.)  The maintenance head (who is about nine feet tall) walked out of his office and pointed out to the gentleman that I had already told him five times where the public bathrooms were and to get out of the staff area.)

There was a nice lady who expected I would stand next to her for the forty five minutes it took her to make copies at the copy machine.

Just another day in paradise.....

Yarnspinner

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21026 on: May 15, 2013, 05:28:28 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.

Okay, I'm not even that gender at this point in my life, and I nearly fainted from reading that.  YIKES.

OK, I'm holding the girls right now... I swear they just lurched in my bra. 

Mine tried to turn themselves inside out.....

Lorelei_Evil

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21027 on: May 15, 2013, 05:33:36 PM »
I know it's the nature of babies to be SS, but Baby really took the cake today! I was nursing him, but he was more bored than hungry, so he decided to combine his two greatest amusement. Nursing, and showing off his new teeth. He bit me so hard I yelped. And my reaction startled him, so he started sobbing. So, Baby bites me and I end up comforting him  ::)

My step-sister was the specialest of snowflakes, then—she bit my step-mom’s nipple off! Hearing stores of having done that put her off nursing her own children completely.


Okay, I'm not even that gender at this point in my life, and I nearly fainted from reading that.  YIKES.

OK, I'm holding the girls right now... I swear they just lurched in my bra.

Yep... They tried to reverse-grow back into my chest.

I think mine are currently cowering behind shoulderblades and trembling

Yarnspinner

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21028 on: May 15, 2013, 05:44:27 PM »
......and another one.  If you have a library card with us you get two hours on the computer.  If you are actually doing something like researching a paper, writing a paper or filling out a job application on line and are having difficulty, we will tack on an extra half hour or more. 

People will, of course, abuse the system.  They will be playing games on Facebook, then realize their time is almost up and come back to tell us they are filling job applications and need more time.  We will give them a half hour and then check on them....and if they are playing farmville, they lose their priviliges for the day. 

If you want another two hours, or if you don't have a library card, you have to pay two dollars for a guest pass which will give you an additional two hours.

I just got screamed at by a woman who a ) admits she was already in this morning and b) used up all her time but contends that c) she should get two hours free because she was d) in the f***ing emergency room and don't have time for this s**t." 

She paid two dollars but couldn't understand the difference between "guest" and "patron" and started screaming at me because  her pass wouldn't work.  I walked over and showed her where it said "guest" and typed the whole number in.  Next thing I know she's torn her guest pass up because I embarrassed her or something.  It's not stopping her from staying on the computer, of course (and I am looking up her guest # now because I KNOW she will try to play some other angle in another two hours.)

Fun times.....

Amara

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21029 on: May 15, 2013, 06:42:21 PM »
*begging voice*

Please, please, please, can we not do any more ... uh YIKES stories, at least not unless the poster whites out the information. I cannot express how icked out I am right now and getting more so by the minute.

Thank you!