Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5643962 times)

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Emmy

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21390 on: May 31, 2013, 10:55:07 PM »
Apparently wedding SS-ness is taking over my neck of the woods. I was telling a coworker about my friend's parents and she totally one-upped me. She's invited to the wedding of a college friend next month and this weekend got an email from the bride giving coworker and her husband their assignment for the reception: 200 rolls. Apparently the happy couple have decided to "cater the wedding themselves" and have assigned all the guests some type of food or beverage to bring. Other guests are supposed to bring supermarket roast chickens, salad, roasted veggies (they got a recipe), bottles of wine, plates, etc.

Coworker has not decided whether or not she'll bring bread but she definitely will no longer be buying that fancy serving platter from the registry.

...Yeeeah, they need to look up the definition of "doing something yourself". It does not mean "order your nearest and dearest to do it FOR you at their own expense"! ::)

I think the coworker should file this under the nature of the invitation has changed and change her RSVP to NO.

Or just make the bread her wedding gift.

This actually was the case at a wedding I attended several years ago.  A friend from work was getting married.  She and her fiance had lived together for a while.  They had their wedding ceremony in the forest preserve and asked the guests to bring a dish for a wedding gift.  It was one of the nicest weddings I've been to.  Very laid back and low-key.

Although I am not a fan, and itís not good etiquette, I can see how what Redwing describes could work out okay if it is done at (or preferably prior to) the point of invitation and you know your invitees well enough to know they would support that. I think the laid-back and low-key part is key here. And probably a pretty small invite list.

200 rolls makes me think they were expecting ~150 peopleóthereís just no way that can be low-key and laid-back, purely based on number of people to accommodate. And no way to know that your invitees all support that, unless maybe youíre deep in a counter culture.

I think it would have been one thing if the bride and groom made it clear from the start they wanted a small potluck wedding and were part of community that did things like that. But pulling a bait and switch on 150 people is an entirely different thing all together. What if my coworker had already bought a present; she's supposed to spend $100 on bread on top of that? Or what if she wasn't planning on spending $100 but instead make something for $25?

That's one of the more jaw dropping things I've heard.  The lengths people will go through to get something for nothing.  If they want that many guests and can't afford a lunch/dinner, having a cake and punch reception is much more honorable than having the guests supply the wedding of your dreams.  By the number of rolls requested, it sounds like there will be a lot of people.  This can't be cheap (especially for the wine purchaser) and having to prepare (or pick-up) and lug large amounts of food on the wedding day sounds like a huge imposition as well.  Your friend gets off easy with bread, she could be lugging chickens to the wedding.  Are all the invited guests expected to bring something or do only some of the guests get the honor?  Or maybe the guests that don't bring food are expected to help contribute to the music, photos, flowers, ect.  I'm with the poster who said make the bread a wedding gift, I'd just stick a bow on the bag and give them a card (or just change the RSVP).

Iris

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21391 on: June 01, 2013, 01:13:45 AM »
Quote
FIL has a tendency to lecture on facts as a substitute for conversation.

I didn't know that I had another sister-in-law!  *waves*.  I love my dad, but he does this all.  the.  time.    One of our family stories is that, when I was little, I announced "I don't like daddy.   He gives long 'explashuns' and makes me bored."

Ironically, I once tried to tell him about a book I was reading on Lana Turner, and he interrupted me with "I don't care about Lana Turner, so save your breath."   ???

That's so rude it made me gasp. I didn't know DH had a sister, but this is so exactly like my FIL that I guess he must...
"Can't do anything with children, can you?" the woman said.

Poirot thought you could, but forebore to say so.

katiescarlett

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21392 on: June 01, 2013, 11:10:21 AM »
Would it be rude for her to attend the wedding and reception, and pretend she didn't see anything about bringing the rolls?

I would just RSPV no, myself.

CrazyDaffodilLady

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21393 on: June 01, 2013, 01:03:56 PM »
Would it be rude for her to attend the wedding and reception, and pretend she didn't see anything about bringing the rolls?

I would just RSPV no, myself.
Then the Happy Couple would only need 198 rolls . . . but then we'd never learn how this turns out. 
It takes two people to play tug of war. If you don't want to play, don't pick up the rope.

NyaChan

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21394 on: June 01, 2013, 01:55:07 PM »
Would it be rude for her to attend the wedding and reception, and pretend she didn't see anything about bringing the rolls?

I would just RSPV no, myself.
Then the Happy Couple would only need 198 rolls . . . but then we'd never learn how this turns out.

lololol  ;D  ah that got me

bloo

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21395 on: June 01, 2013, 03:09:17 PM »


Apparently wedding SS-ness is taking over my neck of the woods. I was telling a coworker about my friend's parents and she totally one-upped me. She's invited to the wedding of a college friend next month and this weekend got an email from the bride giving coworker and her husband their assignment for the reception: 200 rolls. Apparently the happy couple have decided to "cater the wedding themselves" and have assigned all the guests some type of food or beverage to bring. Other guests are supposed to bring supermarket roast chickens, salad, roasted veggies (they got a recipe), bottles of wine, plates, etc.

Coworker has not decided whether or not she'll bring bread but she definitely will no longer be buying that fancy serving platter from the registry.
:o

Yeah I got nailed for that AFTER two showers. Three large platters of chocolate covered strawberries to make. This was the same friend that had to be reined in from throwing a third shower for her DD (inviting all the same people to all three). She already got one gift out of me at one shower (I didn't feel close enough to DD for the personal bridal shower), so I decided the request for the food = wedding gift.

And the three beautiful glass platters I purchased to 'present' the strawberries ($75 for all three but I figured I could get some mileage out of them for any other friends that wanted me to help cater for their wedding ::) )?

I made sure they went home with me. No mistaking that they were a 'wedding gift'.   

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21396 on: June 01, 2013, 04:43:21 PM »
I have that problem with cake plates and stands. I have to make sure the leftovers have a container to stay in while I take my cake plates and stands home.

EmmaJ.

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21397 on: June 01, 2013, 04:53:03 PM »
. . . He'd say "Yes, and would keep telling the story even if you indicated he'd already told it before! . . .
The other day my long-time handyman was helping me with a pool task and started explaining the pool circulation system to me as if I were a child.  I've lived here for 12 years and taught him the little bit he knows about pools.  First I gently said, "I know how the pool works, Jerry".  He kept talking, and I said it again.  After I had to say it a third time and he still kept going, I just walked away.  It was like he could not stop.

My friend Joe is exactly like that - once he starts a conversation (lecture), it's like he is on autopilot and cannot stop.

At a lunch with a group of friends, I mentioned I'd recently purchased a chimney for my barbecue and how much I loved it, plus no more scary lighter fluid!

Joe interrupted my story and told me "Emma, you MUST buy a chimney. They eliminate the need for lighter fluid. Here, let me explain how they work..."

Me:  Joe, I know how they work, I already bought one.
Joe:  You take a couple sheets of newspaper, crumple them loosely, and stuff them in the bottom of the chimney...
Me:  yes, I know, I've used my chimney several times now. I really love it.
Joe:  Then you fill it to the top with charcoal briquettes and light the newspaper.
Me:  I promise I know how to use my chimney.
Joe:  Let it burn until the flame dies out and the charcoal is white around the edges. Dump the coals into your grill and you're ready to cook.  You really should buy a chimney Emma.
Me:  (sigh)  What a good idea.

amandaelizabeth

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21398 on: June 01, 2013, 05:11:54 PM »
Bonus points if you  can say 'yes I Know' like  Sybil Fawlty. 

gramma dishes

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21399 on: June 01, 2013, 05:47:54 PM »


At a lunch with a group of friends, I mentioned I'd recently purchased a chimney for my barbecue and how much I loved it, plus no more scary lighter fluid!

Joe interrupted my story and told me "Emma, you MUST buy a chimney. They eliminate the need for lighter fluid. Here, let me explain how they work..."

...

I think right here at this point I would have said "Joe, what did I just say?" and if continued with his "instructions" instead of pausing to realize that you had already done what he was suggesting, I think I'd have walked away. 

But, is there any possibility that he has a wee bit of a hearing problem, heard the word chimney and only that and therefore started in with his suggestion?

Or he may be somewhere on some neurological spectrum of some kind or another where actual communication is just very hard for him.

LadyClaire

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21400 on: June 03, 2013, 09:43:46 AM »
Nominating my Mom's neighbor's girlfriend.

Mom has her yard fully fenced. The fence is 1' in from the property line, which means Mom's property extends 1' beyond the fence.

Her neighbor has taken to mowing right up to the fence. Ok, no big deal, if he wants to mow up to the fence then fine. That means Mom doesn't have to.

Mom has clematis vines growing on the fence. Yesterday she went outside to find neighbor's girlfriend had hacked down the clematis that had climbed over the other side of the fence, and was reaching over into mom's yard to cut down the vine growing on the inside of the fence. Mom confronted her, and she said "well, they hit Neighbor in the head when he mows!" except the clematis does not actually extend beyond the fence itself. Clematis likes to grow by climbing up and then mounding at the top of whatever it is growing on. It doesn't stick out more than an inch or two beyond the fence. Neighbor would be in danger of hitting the fence itself if he is mowing close enough to touch the clematis vines. Mom told the girlfriend that if they want to trim the stuff growing over the fence, fine, but reaching into Mom's yard inside her fence to cut down the vine is not OK. Girlfriend argued "well the vine will keep growing so it should be cut down". Um..no. Not happening. Mom informed her in no uncertain terms that she is not to touch the vines again, and not only that, but the fence is a foot in from the property line so she is actually trespassing.

Later, Mom discovered that the girlfriend also cut down some other plants growing along the fence, and had hacked at Mom's Rose of Sharon bush that is fully on Mom's property, inside her garden, at a point where the fence ends (her back yard is fenced, the side yard is not). To say she is unhappy would be an understatement.

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21401 on: June 03, 2013, 10:24:28 AM »
My in-laws neighbors did the same. Only, Mr. Jerk reached 3 feet over a chain link fence to cut the tree with his hedge clippers. He butchered the tree so much, FIL walked over with a chain saw and cut the tree down. The Jerk family are the loudest people I have ever had the displeasure to be around. The parents scream all the time, the kids scream, the dog barks constantly.  :(

I need to nominate my in-laws for being SS yesterday. We ran into FIL Friday and he was very talkative, but we had to leave to get all of our errands done in the time we had. I suggested we meet for dinner on Sunday, then in-laws call and ask for us to come to their house for dinner. I offered to bring salad and dessert, and we went over for dinner.

Only after we got there did we discover that in-laws had picked up very large and heavy furniture at an estate sale, and they expected DH and DS to move such furniture. With no notice.  >:(

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21402 on: June 03, 2013, 10:53:55 AM »
With the ones that will lecture on something you've already said you've done or will do, I think sometimes it's a case of them hearing a key phrase and then already they start thinking of how they're going to reply so they don't "hear" the rest.

My mother was good at this.  We'd have conversations like this:

Me: I'd love to go to Ireland some day.
Her: You can't afford to go to Ireland now!!
Me: I know that.  That's why I said some day.
Her: It's very expensive for the flight, the passport since yours has expired, and then there's food and lodging and-
Me: I realize that, it's not like I'm thinking I'll hop on a plane tomorrow.  I said SOME DAY!!!!!!!
Her: But you can't afford it now!!!  ::) ::)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata

Seraphia

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21403 on: June 03, 2013, 11:20:31 AM »
With the ones that will lecture on something you've already said you've done or will do, I think sometimes it's a case of them hearing a key phrase and then already they start thinking of how they're going to reply so they don't "hear" the rest.

My mother was good at this.  We'd have conversations like this:

Me: I'd love to go to Ireland some day.
Her: You can't afford to go to Ireland now!!
Me: I know that.  That's why I said some day.
Her: It's very expensive for the flight, the passport since yours has expired, and then there's food and lodging and-
Me: I realize that, it's not like I'm thinking I'll hop on a plane tomorrow.  I said SOME DAY!!!!!!!
Her: But you can't afford it now!!!  ::) ::)

My DH and I have had that conversation too. I think has some sort of base assumption that you don't talk about things until you're ready to start attempting them, whereas I like to theorize and brainstorm even if I don't have immediate plans.

I'll say something like: "Oh, maybe we could paint that room green" and he will get very stressed about: "Well, we can't spare the time to go buy paint and I don't want to be moving furniture while I have this meeting and that thing to attend and I don't think we have the spare cash and...." I didn't say I wanted to paint it *today*, it was just a passing thought!
Ancora Imparo - I am still learning

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21404 on: June 03, 2013, 11:33:10 AM »
I think you're right about that.   I like to daydream about future trips.  For example, I intend to visit my bff in her hometown sometime next year and we're already tossing around ideas about what we'll do.  It helps in the planning so I know what to save up for.   Then in 2015 she intends to come out this way to visit me and we've been daydreaming about what we'll do when we take off just us girls to the beach while she's here.  Since that requires some saving as well it doesn't hurt to do a bit of talking beforehand. :)
Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars.  You have a right to be here. Be cheerful, strive to be happy. -Desiderata