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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6157288 times)

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Jones

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21975 on: June 28, 2013, 10:24:18 PM »

BB-VA

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21976 on: June 28, 2013, 10:28:25 PM »
Specialest Snowflake in Shenandoah (as told by my husband):

When my husband was a kid, he and his family would often go tent  camping in Shenandoah.  Their favorite campgrounds were Loft Mountain and Lewis Mountain.  I am not sure where this story happened but was probably in one of those.

Back in those days, the trash cans weren't bear-proofed the way they are now.  They just used the 20-gallon galvanized cans with tight fitting lids.  The cans were chained to the ground, but the bears had very little trouble popping the lids off by just smacking the cans. 

One night, DH and his cousins were watching out the windows of the family camper when a bear came up, popped off the lid of the nearest can, and dug in.  The kids had sense enough to stay quiet and watch - and then the Specialest Snowflake arrived. 

The bear was happily munching away when a small skunk appeared.  The skunk stood by until the bear noticed.  The bear slunk away, heading for the next trash can.  The skunk dug in to the remains of what the bear had left.  After a few moments, the skunk decided that this haul was too picked over, and then followed the bear.  The bear, seeing the skunk, moved on.  The kids watched for some time while the bear moved from can to can, followed by the skunk.   No sooner than the bear would open the can than the skunk would appear at his side.  DH swears the bear was making little exasperated grumbles every time the skunk showed up, but he did not dare touch the skunk.

"The Universe puts us in places where we can learn. They are never easy places, but they are right. Wherever we are, it's the right place and the right time. Pain that sometimes comes is part of the process of constantly being born."
- Delenn to Sheridan: "Babylon 5 - Distant Star"

gramma dishes

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21977 on: June 28, 2013, 10:34:47 PM »
^^^  Now THAT'S a cute story!!   ;D

PastryGoddess

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21978 on: June 28, 2013, 10:49:47 PM »
Have you ever seen a skunk print?  they look like little hands :)  They are not very cute when they are on your picnic table because someone forgot to put away dish detergent and vinegar ::)

Winterlight

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21979 on: June 29, 2013, 12:11:31 AM »
http://notalwaysright.com/life-is-stranger-than-the-fiction-section/30405

I just...I can't even. I really hope this is fake.

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Minmom3

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21980 on: June 29, 2013, 01:40:17 AM »
Re: all the bear stories, the closest I have ever been to a bear is about 3 feet. I was biking along a trail by a river when I saw a big nose coming up out of the grassy river bank right in front of me. I had just a second to think "that's a big dog...oh wait, that's a bear!"

My bear-related SS is my sister in law, who lives in a relatively wooded area, leaves her garbage cans outside, then posts on Facebook "oh Yogi made such a mess with my garbage last night." Grrrrr! Maybe now that her neighbours are complaining, she will keep the garbage inside. I just hope it's not too late for the bear.  :'(

Mega special snowflake. She's lucky she hasn't gotten fined for that.

Hell, she's lucky if the bear hasn't followed the garbage INSIDE...  It happens with regularity, from what I read.  Bears and smart and strong, and LOVE people food.  Once they know it's there, they have no shame on going in to get it.  And sooner or later, that bear needs to be relocated or shot outright.  Stupidity in bear country just annoys the snot out of me.   >:(
Newly widowed, fairly cranky, prone to crying at the drop of a hat.  Newly a MIL; not yet a Grandma.  Keeper of chickens and dispenser of eggs! ;D  Owner of Lard Butt Noelle, kitteh extraordinaire!

RingTailedLemur

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21981 on: June 29, 2013, 03:36:14 AM »
I heard a story from a guy I once knew who was from Colorado, I might have told it before.  He said a friend of his had a bear walk through an open door into his kitchen and promptly put its face into the fruit bowl.  He apparently yelled, "Hey you! Scat!" (fear and surprise, I guess) at which point the bear hurried out again.


I'm not sure I ever want to visit Colorado after hearing that...

Outdoor Girl

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21982 on: June 29, 2013, 10:07:07 AM »
My Dad had very SS white-tailed deer at his house.  They'd come down and eat the bird seed, the garden, the flowers, whatever they could get their mouths on.  Drove Dad crazy and he'd go charging out of the house, letting out a whoop and chase the deer out of the yard.  One, he even hit in the rump with a broom, trying to get it to move on.

One evening, he was on the porch when he heard a noise so he took off, letting out his whoop and chased the deer up the back hill.  As he stopped running, he suddenly realized that there was no white flash from the deer's tail going up.  It was distinctly black.  As he paled a little, he realized that it was a bear, not a deer!  Dad figures that poor little guy is still running, he scared him so badly.
After cleaning out my Dad's house, I have this advice:  If you haven't used it in a year, throw it out!!!!.
Ontario

pierrotlunaire0

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21983 on: June 30, 2013, 10:05:30 AM »

Another SS driver I worked with walked with a significant and permanent limp due to the effects of several car accidents she was at least partially responsible for.  Her solution to this was to buy the biggest darn truck she could, so that, in her words, *when* (not if, when) she was in the next accident, she would be protected.

She would be protected, but what about the people she kills?  SS to the max indeed.
I have enough lithium in my medicine cabinet to power three cars across a sizeable desert.  Which makes me officially...Three Cars Crazy

mmswm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21984 on: June 30, 2013, 11:07:22 AM »
My boyfriend is a long haul truck driver with a dedicated weekly run.  He's been driving for nearly 30 years, and the past two years he has driven the exact same route every week.  He knows these roads well, and he knows his truck and how it handles.  He also handles the darned thing better than most people handle their cars.  This is important to this SS story.

So, we're driving down a mountain in Virginia. There's not much traffic and he's driving the speed limit. There was a work van of some sort in front of us, going slower than us, so bf moves into the left hand lane to pass.  He passes the van, which apparently the van driver took exception to.  The van driver, who apparently thought that nobody on the road should be going faster than he was, passed us, cut us off and then slammed on his brakes hard.  There was nobody in front of him, he just apparently thought that bf should slow down (he was driving the speed limit). Thank deity that bf is an extraordinary driver, as he was able to maneuver his truck through the traffic that had come up behind him and avoid what could have been a fatal accident.  This was also the one an only time during the entire trip that I engaged the passenger side brakes, though there were quite a few other times when passenger car drivers did stupid things.
Some people lift weights.  I lift measures.  It's a far more esoteric workout. - (Quoted from a personal friend)

SpottedPony

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21985 on: June 30, 2013, 11:55:08 AM »
My Dad tells this story about a trip he and my Mom to visit his sister in Florida. Having made the trip before, he knew that when on the multi-lane Atlanta bypass, to exit, you needed to be in the correct lane, otherwise you would have to go the whole way around.  So driving a SUV and pulling a trailer, as soon as he got on the bypass, as traffic allowed, he worked his way safely to the lane he wanted to be in to make his exit. 

Cruising along at the speed limit, he happened to glance in his side mirror to see that the SS driver in the lane next to him wanted over.  This driver had his turn signal on and was pounding on the steering wheel, waving his hands and making who knows what kind of comments.  Deciding to let this fellow over, Dad stepped on the brake to slow down enough that this guy could pass and pull in front.  However, this guy decided to slow down at the same time.  Dad tried speeding up so that the could fall in behind, but SS also sped up.  After a few more attempts of slowing down and speeding up, Dad figured that the other driver didn't want to be in front of or in back of him, but he wanted to be in the space occupied by Dad's SUV and trailer.  That wasn't going to happen, so Dad quit playing and just kept on going at the speed limit. 

This other driver continued to maintain speed with my Dad, waving his hands, pounding the steering wheel and making comments, which Dad of course couldn't hear.  When the exit came up, Dad was able to leave the bypass safely, the other driver couldn't.  So in order to get off at that exit, he had to either go the whole way around or get off at the next exit and get back on. 

Spotted Pony

kherbert05

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21986 on: June 30, 2013, 12:30:32 PM »
I may have posted this before but mmswm's post reminded me of it.


When Dad had the Distributorship in West Texas, It covered square miles than the east coast states put together basically San Angelo - Midland down south to Big Bend. Parts of his territory was dry. In Texas counties or cities/towns even parts of cities* can be wet, semi-wet or dry. If an area was dry Dad's trucks were forbidden by law to stop for any reason. They can't stop to get fuel, they can't stop to get food or use the restroom they have to drive straight through.


*The Heights in Houston is an example of this. The Heights was once a separate city and its charter said the city was dry. The city was then annexed by Houston. Because the area was dry when annexed it still is dry 101 years after the original law was passed.

Dad gets an irate phone call from a woman. She had her kids in the car, broken down on the side of the road. She was mad because one of his trucks went by, slowed but didn't stop.

Dad tried to explain that the driver couldn't stop, but had called in her being broken down to DPS. DPS had sent someone to help her. The driver had been told to by DPS to keep going or face fines.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2013, 12:38:00 PM by kherbert05 »
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weeblewobble

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21987 on: June 30, 2013, 02:48:38 PM »
Why is my gym so full of special snowflakes!? I love it there.  It's a nice place!

BG: There is a lovely daycare center at my gym, but it's closed on Saturday.   The gym has a "no one under 16 on the gym floor" policy.

Yesterday, I went to the gym and used the "annex" a recent addition full of cardio equipment that is so separated from the main gym that it's practically its own building. (My point being that the room is smaller and sound REALLY carries.) I was about halfway through my run when a woman came in with a stroller and put it in front of an elliptical machine. She started working out and within a few minutes, the baby in the stroller started SCREAMING.  I mean, I could hear the baby crying over my iPod, which was on full blast. The half dozen or so people in the annex kept glancing over at the stroller lady, wondering (I assume) whether she was going to get off of her machine and take care of the baby. For about five minutes, she didn't. 

I pulled out my earbuds and heard an older man stopped HIS workout and say to her, "Ma'am, you're not supposed to have children in here. Please take the baby out of the gym."

Stroller lady was highly offended and said, "Well, the daycare is closed!  I didn't know the daycare closed!  What am I supposed to do?"

Older man: "You go home and leave the baby with a sitter, or you come back when the daycare is open."

Stroller lady (who is still not getting off her elliptical or comforting her baby): "I have the same right to be here that you do!  I need to use it more because I just had a baby!"

Another lady piped up, "Ma'am, I have three kids.  And when the daycare is closed, I leave them with my husband or a sitter, so I can come to the gym.  Because that's the gym policy."

Stroller lady: "Well, it's a stupid policy that discriminates against moms!"

At this point, someone on the gym staff overheard and asked her to take the baby and leave.  He reminded her there is a "no one under 16" policy.  How she managed to sneak the baby past the front desk, I have no idea.  Anyway, she stormed out. I feel sort of bad because she obviously felt like she was being ganged up on.  But her attitude didn't help.
« Last Edit: June 30, 2013, 02:54:16 PM by weeblewobble »

weeblewobble

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21988 on: June 30, 2013, 03:03:27 PM »
N.J. man faces fines in bear attack.

Quote
[He] was hiking at Worthington State Forest in Warren County with his three children late last month when he saw the black bear and tossed a bagel its way in the hope of getting a snapshot.

But the plan backfired. The bear devoured the bagel and went after Jacobs' 5-year-old son, Billy, who was left with claw marks on his arm and shoulder blade.

This kind of thing makes me feel ill. This sort of person should not be allowed to care for children or perform in any role involving responsibility for others. "Oh, look, a wild and deadly animal which is much stronger than me and about which I know next to nothing! I'll just lure it over here near my children whom I have forgotten in my much more important quest to get a photo!"

I have a Darwin Awards Omnibus (who doesn't?) and one of the most unsettling ones was about a woman who was merrily spreading honey on her child's face so that she could take a wonderful photo of the bear licking the toddler.

I'm not sure if I've told this story here before, but I have to tell it. No food involved, but ****....

When I was a girl, we lived on an AF base in Colorado. A heavily wooded base. We had everything around there, coyotes, racoons, bears... They would come into our cul-di-sac both for the garbage and the crab-apple tree in one of the yards.

So, picture the scene. There is a bear prowling around our shared driveway, not doing anything, probably too busy digesting the apple glut to bother opening a trashcan, but still a grown female black bear. My mother and sister are in the hall, trying to calm down our panicking puppies, I'm in the kitchen, trying to keep our tom from busting through the wall to show this female who's boss, my dad steps out into our fenced yard to keep a better eye on our uninvited guest. This is all at about 11'o'clock at night. Dad looks over the fence, and what does he see?

Our next-door neighbor, having given his eight-year-old son a camera, standing in his carport, trying to get this groggy, still in his pajamas, child to go up to and get a better shot of the bear.

I swear, you could hear my father's "get the F*** inside!" from across the base. I didn't get to see the bears (being on cat-duty and all), but from the description (bear in driveway, guy in carport) there couldn't have been more then twenty feet, absolute max, between that bear and that child.

Yeah, we didn't get on with the neighbors on that side.  >:(

This is the same man who decided that ten-year-old me was responsible for making sure our toms didn't fight. If he'd come over and said Moonbeam was causing him trouble it would have been one thing, but going up to a young girl and berating her that her cat is horrible isn't going to help you.

I call this the "Disneyland mentality" (with apologies to the Disney Corporation).  Because of action movies, theme parks, haunted houses, sponsored tours, and other "sanitized" experiences in which people are put into "dangerous" situations, but know that they will ultimately come to no harm, because there are measures in place to protect them. Or in the case of the action movies, they see the main character survive being shot at, thrown off a bus, smacked with a pipe wrench, and attacked by a sea serpent.  A real person probably would have died from any one of those things.  But we're all the hero of our own movies, you know?

So people assume that "protection" extends to every area of life and do really stupid things.

PeterM

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #21989 on: June 30, 2013, 03:08:27 PM »
When Dad had the Distributorship in West Texas, It covered square miles than the east coast states put together basically San Angelo - Midland down south to Big Bend. Parts of his territory was dry. In Texas counties or cities/towns even parts of cities* can be wet, semi-wet or dry. If an area was dry Dad's trucks were forbidden by law to stop for any reason. They can't stop to get fuel, they can't stop to get food or use the restroom they have to drive straight through.

That sounds like a prime contender for an idiotic laws thread, but of course as long as its on the books it has to be followed. Does anyone know if laws like that are common in dry areas, though? Aren't some of the biggest distilleries in America in dry areas? I'm imagining the delivery trucks roaring past the loading dock at full speed while specially trained employees - perhaps large gorillas wearing ties - fling barrels into the open back of the truck.

My father and some of his brothers got arrested in a dry area back in the day. It's not necessarily a special snowflake story, unless bringing booze to a private bachelor party way out in the woods in a dry county qualifies. It wasn't their smartest move, granted. Nor was clamoring up a large tree when the sheriff showed up, rather than scattering into the woods like anyone who hadn't been imbibing heavily probably would've thought of. The sheriff just walked over to the tree, lit them up with his flashlight and told them to get their <redacted> down, already. My uncle the groom to be turns the story into one of the funniest things you'll ever hear, but I can't really do it justice in print. It's mostly in the accents. Just imagine an exasperated, tired sheriff with a deep Southern accent who has much, much better things to be doing than pulling a bunch of drunken Yankees out of a tree in the middle of nowhere. He never actually said he'd shoot them out of the tree if they didn't climb down, but I'm told it was implied.