Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 5527106 times)

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nuit93

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22470 on: July 24, 2013, 04:56:42 PM »
Apparently this happened at Mom's church recently:

Woman (walks in with tennis racket + water bottle): Is there a preacher here ?
Pastor: Yes, I'm the pastor. What can I do for you ?
Woman: I need you to bless the tennis game I'm playing in today.
Pastor: I'm sorry, I'm afraid that isn't something we do here. The service is starting in a few minutes, though. Would you like to sit in for it ?
Woman: No, I don't have time for things like that! Can't you just do it anyway ? This is a really important game!
Pastor: I'm sorry, I can't.
Woman: Fine, I'll just keep driving around until I find a place that will do it! *stomps off*

Keep in mind this church is out in the boonies. Any tennis courts are a couple miles away, unless you climb over a fence into the local high school's tennis court. I think there's also one tennis court in the nearest park, but it's not high quality as far I know.

"Make sure this child knows nothing but love.  Amen"

I *just* now got the joke!

Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22471 on: July 24, 2013, 04:58:11 PM »
Apparently this happened at Mom's church recently:

Woman (walks in with tennis racket + water bottle): Is there a preacher here ?
Pastor: Yes, I'm the pastor. What can I do for you ?
Woman: I need you to bless the tennis game I'm playing in today.
Pastor: I'm sorry, I'm afraid that isn't something we do here. The service is starting in a few minutes, though. Would you like to sit in for it ?
Woman: No, I don't have time for things like that! Can't you just do it anyway ? This is a really important game!
Pastor: I'm sorry, I can't.
Woman: Fine, I'll just keep driving around until I find a place that will do it! *stomps off*

Keep in mind this church is out in the boonies. Any tennis courts are a couple miles away, unless you climb over a fence into the local high school's tennis court. I think there's also one tennis court in the nearest park, but it's not high quality as far I know.

"Make sure this child knows nothing but love.  Amen"

I *just* now got the joke!

Eep, me too!  ("Love" is used instead of "zero" in tennis - so wishing she knows "nothing but love" would be tennis double-speak for praying she doesn't make any points.)

MariaE

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22472 on: July 24, 2013, 04:58:48 PM »
Apparently this happened at Mom's church recently:

Woman (walks in with tennis racket + water bottle): Is there a preacher here ?
Pastor: Yes, I'm the pastor. What can I do for you ?
Woman: I need you to bless the tennis game I'm playing in today.
Pastor: I'm sorry, I'm afraid that isn't something we do here. The service is starting in a few minutes, though. Would you like to sit in for it ?
Woman: No, I don't have time for things like that! Can't you just do it anyway ? This is a really important game!
Pastor: I'm sorry, I can't.
Woman: Fine, I'll just keep driving around until I find a place that will do it! *stomps off*

Keep in mind this church is out in the boonies. Any tennis courts are a couple miles away, unless you climb over a fence into the local high school's tennis court. I think there's also one tennis court in the nearest park, but it's not high quality as far I know.

"Make sure this child knows nothing but love.  Amen"

LOL! Ouch!  ;D
I missed the joke.  Can someone please explain? :-\

0 points is called "love" in tennis. No clue why though.
 
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heartmug

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22473 on: July 24, 2013, 05:00:02 PM »
Apparently this happened at Mom's church recently:

Woman (walks in with tennis racket + water bottle): Is there a preacher here ?
Pastor: Yes, I'm the pastor. What can I do for you ?
Woman: I need you to bless the tennis game I'm playing in today.
Pastor: I'm sorry, I'm afraid that isn't something we do here. The service is starting in a few minutes, though. Would you like to sit in for it ?
Woman: No, I don't have time for things like that! Can't you just do it anyway ? This is a really important game!
Pastor: I'm sorry, I can't.
Woman: Fine, I'll just keep driving around until I find a place that will do it! *stomps off*

Keep in mind this church is out in the boonies. Any tennis courts are a couple miles away, unless you climb over a fence into the local high school's tennis court. I think there's also one tennis court in the nearest park, but it's not high quality as far I know.

"Make sure this child knows nothing but love.  Amen"

LOL!!!!
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Outdoor Girl

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22474 on: July 24, 2013, 05:00:30 PM »
Thank you!  That went right over my head.

(And why it's called love I think is because in French, it was originally l'oeuf or egg.)
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nutraxfornerves

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22475 on: July 24, 2013, 05:27:50 PM »
"Love" is often said to come from the French l'oeuf, "egg." The shape of a zero (0). 

However, Oxford Dictionaries says "It seems to have been adapted from the phrase 'to play for love (of the game)' (i.e. to play for nothing). Although the theory is often heard that it represents the French word l'oeuf, meaning 'an egg' (from the resemblance between an egg and a nought) this seems unlikely."

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Elfmama

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22476 on: July 24, 2013, 09:50:29 PM »
At KMart tonight.  An older woman rammed her cart into another shopper - hard enough to move the other woman's cart back into her body and says "Tall. Get me that." the woman who had been slammed into said "No." and walked away. The woman who needed something reached then went and complained to someone else that the other woman would not help her.  There were three clerks that she could have asked, had she bothered.
So injuring another shopper is the way to ask them to reach something for you?  And here I've been saying "Excuse me, but would you mind getting the ____ down for me? I just can't reach it." And they always look at my 5'2" chubby little self and say "Of course." And then I thank them.
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esposita

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22477 on: July 24, 2013, 10:04:39 PM »
Sigh. I remember growing up when kids were shoved out the door in the morning to roam the neighbourhood until lunch, without our parents watching our every move.
Me too and I grew up first in the inner city and then in the suburbs.

Yeah, and now if you so much as let your kid walk a few blocks by himself you have CPS threaten to take the kid away.  And this when crime is way down and the risk of kidnapping or being hit by a car is far less than the risk of obesity by being locked in your house all day.

A big ole POD from me!

Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22478 on: July 24, 2013, 10:11:29 PM »
Don't use railroad ties.  They are usually impregnated with a lot of chemicals to prevent them from rotting, which you don't really want getting into your plants, especially if any of them are edible.

Nice big rocks would be better, preferably big enough that they need equipment to put them in place.  Otherwise, the bacon-fed knave is liable to just move them.

Or pound in some rebar, then sharpen the tops to nice points?   >:D

Good to know, and I thought the railroad ties sounde like an odd idea anyway.  The plants aren't edible (well lavender can be put in tea so I guess that one is) but either way I don't want the plants taking in those chemicals. 

And well the thing is that this bed is not very wide anyway  (maybe 3ft at the most) so rocks that big wouldn't leave much room for the plants.

There is some ol' rusted rebar though that's currently part of a grill someone built in our backyard that DH and his dad have discussed taking apart... >:D
I've seen borders of half bricks, at an angle so they are a jagged line, and something like that wouldn't take up too much space. Perhaps there are some odd bricks laying around?

Ooh, good idea!! :)
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Elfmama

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22479 on: July 24, 2013, 11:20:08 PM »
Sigh. I remember growing up when kids were shoved out the door in the morning to roam the neighbourhood until lunch, without our parents watching our every move.
Me too, Twik.  We were even allowed to play in the woods.  6-year-olds had to stay in sight of the houses, but older kids had a block roughly one mile by two miles square; the only restriction was that we couldn't cross any of the roads that bounded that square. Call it 1200 acres, more or less.  That made it easily searchable if we got lost or hurt and couldn't get home; crossing one of the roads would have put us into state forest lands, where we could have REALLY gotten lost.
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Elfmama

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22480 on: July 24, 2013, 11:30:44 PM »
... carry the 25 lb cat out to the car ( and because it's so blasted fat you can't use the handle. and have to carry it by your hands - which hurts your fingers, but "is better for the cat".
Her cat has a handle?  Where can I get one for my future cats?  Is it dealer-installed, or aftermarket?
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Liliane

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22481 on: July 25, 2013, 12:20:19 AM »
... carry the 25 lb cat out to the car ( and because it's so blasted fat you can't use the handle. and have to carry it by your hands - which hurts your fingers, but "is better for the cat".
Her cat has a handle?  Where can I get one for my future cats?  Is it dealer-installed, or aftermarket?

 ;D ;D ;D

I'm going to bet there was either a word left out (cat carrier?) or she meant the scruff, but the mental image is making me laugh so hard! ;D
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PeterM

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22482 on: July 25, 2013, 01:20:25 AM »
Her cat has a handle?  Where can I get one for my future cats?  Is it dealer-installed, or aftermarket?

Believe me when I tell you, you want someone else to install the handle for you.

Mel the Redcap

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22483 on: July 25, 2013, 06:32:10 AM »


Wow. Sorry she treated you so shabbily. Did she ever say 'thank you'?

I was wondering the same thing.

no, nor did she give me gas money for the trip.

Weeeell, I think I can identify one aunt who can pay for a taxi next time she wants a lift somewhere!

(I bet she also wanted you to pay for breakfast. :P)
« Last Edit: July 25, 2013, 06:35:26 AM by Mel the Redcap »
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LadyJaneinMD

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #22484 on: July 25, 2013, 08:00:17 AM »
Sigh. I remember growing up when kids were shoved out the door in the morning to roam the neighbourhood until lunch, without our parents watching our every move.
Me too, Twik.  We were even allowed to play in the woods.  6-year-olds had to stay in sight of the houses, but older kids had a block roughly one mile by two miles square; the only restriction was that we couldn't cross any of the roads that bounded that square. Call it 1200 acres, more or less.  That made it easily searchable if we got lost or hurt and couldn't get home; crossing one of the roads would have put us into state forest lands, where we could have REALLY gotten lost.

When I was around 8, I even camped out in the woods overnight, All By Myself!  Started a fire and cooked meals, too.   The house I grew up in had a patch of woods next to it, just big enough for a little girl to camp out without being too far away.
One of my fondest memories is my father walking through the woods in the early morning, dressed in his suit for work, coming to help me start my morning fire before he left.  *smile*