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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6278656 times)

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VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23055 on: August 24, 2013, 12:15:22 PM »
That is just so weird to me, that people in this day and age would be so negative about anyone with a developmental disability.  Does not compute.

There are a significant percentage of people who still think "if it was good enough for (previous generation - or possibly three generations back) it's good enough for today".  They do like running water, flush toilets, sewers, and a few of the other "modern" conveniences - but differ on whether electric lights, radio, tv (broadcast or cable), internet, telephones (landline or cellular), and so forth are really needed....and certainly if great-great aunt Tootsie ended up in a "home" back in 1918, well, that is the way to handle anyone else with the same issue (if anyone remembers).....

I'm not saying that they are right - just that they exist.  And they seem to have no volume control on how loudly they bray their outdated opinions and incomplete information in public.  Because in their world (or at least their family), everyone else is presumed to have the same basic information (or lack of more recent information) and to think the same way.

They may still think "sugar diabetes" is a slow death sentence....so why bother sticking to a diet, taking blood tests every day, and seeing a doctor....because you're just going to (name symptom that scares them the most) anyway......

Same issue with any other medical issue that there was no treatment for a century ago and there is NOW.
Let sleeping dragons be.......morning breath......need I say more?

Jocelyn

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23056 on: August 24, 2013, 12:28:33 PM »
Even now, a lot of parents aren't being told that there's an alternative to placing their children in Willowbrook or keeping them at home. I remember asking the mother of a client what were her plans for her son after high school, and finding out that even the special ed teachers hadn't told her that there were group homes and training programs that her son could benefit from. She said no one had ever told her that her son could hold a job someday. Once she starting thinking along those lines, it DID make sense to her that it was more 'normal' for a young adult to live with other young adults, than with their parents. It changed her idea from thinking of it as putting him away for her convenience, to moving him into adulthood like all the other kids in his high school. I pointed out that the other kids in his school were, by and large, being entrusted to the care of professionals who were providing them with supervision, peer groups and career training- that some of those 'institutions' were colleges, vo-tech schools, or the military, but that 'institutionalizing' your young adult child until they were ready to take full responsibility for themselves was really a very 'normal' thing to do. ;D

blue2000

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23057 on: August 24, 2013, 01:57:31 PM »
While in some cases I imagine it was due to a lack of knowing how to take care of a child with disabilities, I'm afraid that my cynicism believes that such an attitude was a result of not wanting to let it be known someone had "faulty" genes and that they could produce anything less than a visually perfect child.

I am the guardian of a man who has Down Syndrome, whose Grandfather, a minster, insisted he be put away because "nice" families don't have children like that.

The Special Snowflake aspect is that he tried to demand that a woman in town, who was not even a member of his congregation, do the same with her DS child. She declined.

I have a book of Reader's Digest articles dating from the 30's, and it's fascinating reading.  There's an article written by a woman who has sent her child to live in an institution for some unspecified reason, probably Down syndrome.  It's full of justification, started off by quoting her doctor who lays out how terrible the whole family's life will be if this child remains with them - they will go broke paying for special medical treatment, the other kids will be bullied at school, the mother will die young from the constant strain of caring for the 'subnormal' child, and the other kids will not be able to make good marriages, because who would want to marry into a family with this kind of freak?  She goes on to describe the institution where the child has been placed as some sort of resort, the proverbial 'farm in the country' where all unwanted animals go, and how happy the child is living there.  They visit once a month and everything is always shining and happy.

I'm sure there were  many places and many caregivers back in the day who did do their best to make a comfortable life for those in their  charge, but the whole tone of 'this is best for everyone, especially poor little Susie' just really gets under your skin.

I've mentioned this before in more detail, but my grandmother was advised by her doctor that she should 'accidentally' kill her Down Syndrome child. She also had quite a falling-out with some of her family because she chose to treat him like a normal child.

She and some other people ran a summer camp for retarded children for a while. Apparently a lot of the kids who came to camp didn't run or play much because they were so used to staying hidden inside the house. Despite the annoying tone of the article, it may actually have been better for little Susie to be sent away to a farm in those days. She would have been allowed to play and interact with other kids and do all sorts of things she never would have been allowed to do at home.
You are only young once. After that you have to think up some other excuse.

rain

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23058 on: August 24, 2013, 04:53:54 PM »
while I am very interested in the posts about the changes over the years about how individuals with disabilities have been viewed/accepted/educated could it please move to another thread?  (I'll start one as I have things to post too, but don't want to derail the snowflake thread)

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nuit93

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23059 on: August 24, 2013, 05:03:54 PM »
Catholic men who are active in their parish are welcome to join the Knights of Columbus.  (Sorry, ladies -- our plumbing is wrong!  ::) ) The KofC offers life insurance to their members, both whole and term, at VERY good prices.  Family members can also be covered.  Actual attendance at KofC functions/meetings is not mandatory; DH's council has a lot of members who are members solely for the insurance, who rarely to never show up at meetings.
KoC was created in response to other fraternal organizations' refusal to accept Catholics as members. These fraternal organizations were big in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, at least in part because they promised to care for the widows and orphans of members.
And women could join the Daughters of Isabella. :)
Most of the organizations weren't co-ed because they were started by people who were replicating their college experiences with sororities and fraternities, in the days prior to co-education. Also, they catered to well-off people, women who had leisure during the daytime to attend meetings, and men who relied on their wives to stay home with the kids while they went out to meetings at night.

Actually, it was the Catholic Church that was against its members being a part of any kind of secret society that was not a part of their church.  KoC developed in response to that.

Starchasm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23060 on: August 24, 2013, 07:20:17 PM »
I have an apartment for rent. While this has brought out a pretty large number of snowflakes (the number of people who make an appointment then never show up is staggering) this one takes the cake.

A friend of a friend is moving to the city. She will be here the second week of September and would like to see it. She also would not want to move in until October or November. She is very put out I won't hold the apartment (that she may or may not want to rent) that long. Just in case.

crella

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23061 on: August 24, 2013, 08:32:01 PM »
Ugh. My uncle tried pulling something similar. He went whining to his parents with "Sis#1 (my mom) has a house, and Sis#2 has a house, but I don't!" He expected the parents to correct this travesty!

Yeah, the reason Sis#1 has a house is because she worked hard for it, and Sis#2 inherited hers through her DH. Parents informed him that they were not going to hand him a house on a silver platter.


My sister told my mother to take me out of the will because "She has a house and a vacation house, and her husband makes good money! She doesn't need any more!"  and "Brother has a good job as a teacher, he doesn't need money either! They have everything and I have nothing! They shouldn't be in the will!"

Hooboy.....

Please tell me your mother told her where to stick her ideas about will-making.


My mother cut her out of the will, which she informed me during a visit with me in the US. It took me a year or so to talk her into leaving her something, I said 'Now come on, you'll be down the street in ****(Cemetery) and you're going to leave me to deal with her when the will's read?'  :D :D :D

Lady Knight
Quote
I am really not looking forward to estate issues when the time comes.

Have your parents make out a detailed will. Detailed. Otherwise, things that you KNOW your mother said you could have (in front of the whole family, more than once) become the target of 'But she said I could have that one day while we were out at the park feeding the swans' (example of unlikely scenario of heirloom distribution on the same level of 'Huh?' as many thrown at me last year).

If executor, check the status of bank accounts frequently, especially if you are at a distance. I just want to say that  once the ducks are all in a row never count on them staying that way! It's been a painful year. It's all done with, including a relationship or two.

Edited some info that on second thought could have been identifying.

 
« Last Edit: August 25, 2013, 09:47:53 PM by crella »

lorelai

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23062 on: August 24, 2013, 10:03:36 PM »
I can't tell if I'm the special snowflake, or if the rest of the world is... Chances are I am :)

I was flying home the other day, and the woman sitting next to me had her elbow resting on our shared armrest, with her elbow sticking into my seat space. I've heard before that etiquette says that the person in the middle seat gets the armrest. Therefore, when I am in the aisle or window, I don't even go for the armrest. But I do like to take up all my seat space.

In this case I was in the window, and getting cranky. I felt it would be rude to tell/ask her to move, so instead I waited for her to shift - she ended up needing to get something out of her purse - and then I moved my arm so that I was occupying my space. When she went back to put her elbow there, she hit my elbow, and them moved back and took only the amount of space necessary to cover the armrest. She gave me a really annoyed look and one of those exasperated loud sighs, but didn't say anything.

When I use the armrest, I do the same. I don't allow my elbows to go over into other people's space. I think she was the SS but I'm sure she thought I was! Then again I feel like people do this all the time, so perhaps I really am.

rain

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23063 on: August 24, 2013, 10:09:21 PM »
lorelai - it was not you
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VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23064 on: August 24, 2013, 11:31:02 PM »
I have an apartment for rent. While this has brought out a pretty large number of snowflakes (the number of people who make an appointment then never show up is staggering) this one takes the cake.

A friend of a friend is moving to the city. She will be here the second week of September and would like to see it. She also would not want to move in until October or November. She is very put out I won't hold the apartment (that she may or may not want to rent) that long. Just in case.

In 1992, we had the opposite problem - we offered to rent a house (moving in June with the military) if it was still available when the previous tenants moved out the end of February or so (it was over two months - close to three before we would get to the new assignment).

The owner apparently didn't communicate clearly with the agency handling it while they (owners) were overseas - the place sat EMPTY with no maintenance done to the swimming pool or yard for that whole time - no cleaning inside, no power, no chlorine in the pool, no filter run.....

Urk....it took a while to clean up - but the moving van was about five or six hours behind me....so I did NOT have much time - I got there at 3 am and went to sleep!

The swimming pool pipes from the filter back to the pool sprang a leak later that first year we were there....and I learned that the agent in charge of the property was a bacon fed knave - he kept telling me that I was imagining that there was a leak.....apparently the pool water gushing out of a crack in the concrete while the level in the pool dropped inches every hour was all in my head....or something. 

The contract with the agency was not renewed when it came up......we were in that house for four years!
« Last Edit: August 24, 2013, 11:35:22 PM by VorFemme »
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weeblewobble

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23065 on: August 24, 2013, 11:34:26 PM »
Lorelai, it was not you.

I, too, once flew next to a "leaner," a middle aged man who sat in the middle seat, but insisted on leaning at this weird diagonal angle that meant his head and shoulders practically rested on my head rest in the aisle seat.  I don't know how he could wear his seatbelt and remain comfortable in his position. His head was RIGHT next to mine and if I wanted to avoid his noxious coffee breath, I would have had to lean my head into the aisle.  And since I didn't want to be concussed by the drink cart, the following conversation took place just after take off, when it became clear he planned on staying in that position for a while.

Me: Sir, you're leaning too close to me. Could you please sit back into your own seat?

Him: My back is sore and I'm more comfortable like this. It's not a problem.

Me: Yes, but you're making me uncomfortable, which is a problem for me.  So please stay in your own space.

Him: No, it's not a problem.  I'm fine like this.

Me: But I'm not fine like this. You're in my space. Please lean back.

Him: I'm telling you, it's not a problem!

At this point, the FA came over to address the issue.  She told the man that he couldn't lean that far into another passenger's seat. He insisted that he had to keep his sore back muscles in check.  Since the flight wasn't full, she ended up moving him to a row of seats that was empty and he could lean to his heart's content. Part of me wondered whether that was his aim all along, to escape his undesirable middle seat.  The other part of me wondered whether he was trying to look down my shirt.

Either way, I was glad he moved and couldn't believe how obtuse he was.  HE didn't have a problem, so there was no problem!

violinp

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23066 on: August 24, 2013, 11:50:32 PM »
People at my theater:

No! You do not throw your whole medium popcorn in the middle of the walkway and walk all over it just because you don't have to pick it up! Yes, we are three ushers. However, we are not, in any shape, form, or fashion, magicians. Your popcorn does not travel to the trash can by the collective will of our minds. I would ask whether you were raised by wolves, but I'm sure even wolves are neater when they eat than you are.
"It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies, but even more to stand up to your friends" - Harry Potter


lorelai

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23067 on: August 25, 2013, 02:40:48 AM »
Weeblewobble that's awful! How is he going to tell you it's not a problem?!? I'm glad he moved.

I guess I wonder about this because I know it's a lot more comfortable to use the armrests if you can fully stretch out, and my way of thinking doesn't allow for that. Anyway, I'm glad you all think I'm not SS!

Btw, about cleaning up at the movie theater - my normally very kind DH threw away his candy wrapper at the movie theater the other day and he couldn't understand why I was digging around the seats trying to find it. I told him it was our duty to clean up after ourselves and he actually said, "That's their job - you might as well leave it for them."

Ahh I hate this so much! As a child I always paid attention to the opening movie ads that asked you to clean up after yourself and I took it to heart. And it's common decency, right? Now they only tell you to turn off your cell phones. Look like people aren't doing either :-\

BB-VA

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23068 on: August 25, 2013, 12:39:31 PM »
Showing my age here - back when I was a child, the custom was to leave your popcorn box/drink cup on the floor under your seat when you left the theater.  Of course, that was in the dark ages, before cell phones and when theaters actually DID have staff beyond the concession stand and ticket booth (and stages/curtains in front of the screen, and the big blue Bulova clock sign with the local jeweler's name over the exit, and continuous shows from 1-9 PM).  I really feel sorry for that staff retroactively - they must have had a heck of a time after the free kiddie matinees in summer.

I do believe now is better, when you are asked to please clean up and they do provide trash receptacles at the doors (they didn't, back in the day).  It certainly results in a more pleasant atmosphere in the auditorium.  And the spaces between shows (no more coming in in the middle and leaving when you get to the place you started) also help in getting the place neatened up.
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Cherry91

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23069 on: August 25, 2013, 01:02:00 PM »
RE cinema special snowflakes, some of the messes made were horrific at the cinema I used to work out.

One of the most bizarre things, which happened repeatedly, was people would stand up, let their seat swing closed, and then WEDGE their rubbish in between the two halves of the seat. Often, this would include popcorn boxes and drink cups with remains still inside, so if the staff didn't spot them, the next person to pull the seat down could end up with their shoes sprayed with popcorn and sticky soda.

We never could understand why people did it. We accepted that people left their rubbish on the floor - at least then we could see it!
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