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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6249305 times)

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hermanne

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23310 on: September 06, 2013, 03:38:12 PM »
The school supplies going in a common pile would burn me, too. I'm glad that DD's list is broken down into 3 parts: personal (with a reminder to lable them), communal, and keep at home for homework.
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asb8

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23311 on: September 06, 2013, 05:53:59 PM »
As far as the white boards and markers for them, my DD has been using them since K (she is in 2nd now) for math.  Instead of practicing on paper where they erase alot and tear the paper and waste it they just use the white boards.  I think it is a great idea and the dollar store has the boards and markers.

So we've come full circle back to the days of using slates?  :)

Carotte

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23312 on: September 06, 2013, 06:21:49 PM »
As far as the white boards and markers for them, my DD has been using them since K (she is in 2nd now) for math.  Instead of practicing on paper where they erase alot and tear the paper and waste it they just use the white boards.  I think it is a great idea and the dollar store has the boards and markers.

So we've come full circle back to the days of using slates?  :)

Didn't kids always had those? I know I had the whiteboard/dry erase kind a good 18 years ago, and that my parents had the black board/chalk ones a good uh, 50+ years ago.
I remember that we used them for mental arithmetic, that way the teacher would ask us to put the board up and she could check the entire class without leaving her seat. Same for quick spelling test.

Jones

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23313 on: September 06, 2013, 07:00:49 PM »
We were still using the chalk ones 20ish years ago. My sibs got the white boards.

PastryGoddess

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23314 on: September 06, 2013, 07:07:26 PM »
I was in the in between generation.  In 1st grade we used slates, I moved to a different school district in 2nd grade and never saw them again

TootsNYC

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23315 on: September 06, 2013, 07:30:08 PM »
I thought I might have offended my wife's daughter-in-law this past labor day weekend because of this kind of issue.

DIL daughter and her slightly older cousin (both are my wife's granddaughters) were downstairs while my wife and I were watching TV in the living room.  DIL came down from the upstairs and asked us if it was ok if the two girls watched a movie in our bedroom to keep them occupied.  My wife said it was ok so long as they were quiet.

DIL then turned to the two girls and started to ask if them if they would be quiet while watching the tv in our bedroom.  I broke in at that point and said "No if they are watching tv in our bedroom (bedroom is right off the living room and noise carries very easily) then they WILL be quiet, it is not a choice"

I gave a stern look to both girls, then they went into the bedroom and we did not hear a peep out of them.

DIL and husband (wife's son) are famous for constantly negotiating with their daughter.  She (the granddaughter) really rules them and most of the time I just keep my mouth shut.

Modified for clarity

If I were the, mom, I'd be royally pissed at you.

When I asked those kinds of questions about my daughter, what I was seeking was *her acknowledgment of* and *her agreement to* the conditions imposed. It gave me ammo for later, and for my own kid, it meant that she was much more likely to follow the rule, because she had *verbalized* her acquiesence.

Your interruption would have completely derailed that.

And the "stern look" before they have even misbehaved makes me flamingly angry. Children do not need to be scolded for things they haven't done!!  And I believe that treating them that way makes them *less* likely to follow the rules, and it destroys their willingness to accede to the authority of the grownups around them. Why follow the rules, if you're just going to get a dirty look before you even start?


Maybe the whole "negotiating" thing is getting out of hand in your family, but being bossy and prematurely punitive is not all that admirable.
« Last Edit: September 06, 2013, 07:32:21 PM by TootsNYC »

NyaChan

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23316 on: September 06, 2013, 07:49:49 PM »
I thought I might have offended my wife's daughter-in-law this past labor day weekend because of this kind of issue.

DIL daughter and her slightly older cousin (both are my wife's granddaughters) were downstairs while my wife and I were watching TV in the living room.  DIL came down from the upstairs and asked us if it was ok if the two girls watched a movie in our bedroom to keep them occupied.  My wife said it was ok so long as they were quiet.

DIL then turned to the two girls and started to ask if them if they would be quiet while watching the tv in our bedroom.  I broke in at that point and said "No if they are watching tv in our bedroom (bedroom is right off the living room and noise carries very easily) then they WILL be quiet, it is not a choice"

I gave a stern look to both girls, then they went into the bedroom and we did not hear a peep out of them.

DIL and husband (wife's son) are famous for constantly negotiating with their daughter.  She (the granddaughter) really rules them and most of the time I just keep my mouth shut.

Modified for clarity

If I were the, mom, I'd be royally pissed at you.

When I asked those kinds of questions about my daughter, what I was seeking was *her acknowledgment of* and *her agreement to* the conditions imposed. It gave me ammo for later, and for my own kid, it meant that she was much more likely to follow the rule, because she had *verbalized* her acquiesence.

Your interruption would have completely derailed that.

And the "stern look" before they have even misbehaved makes me flamingly angry. Children do not need to be scolded for things they haven't done!!  And I believe that treating them that way makes them *less* likely to follow the rules, and it destroys their willingness to accede to the authority of the grownups around them. Why follow the rules, if you're just going to get a dirty look before you even start?


Maybe the whole "negotiating" thing is getting out of hand in your family, but being bossy and prematurely punitive is not all that admirable.

I have to agree - the mom wasn't negotiating with the child.  It sounded more like she was making sure they understood the condition under which they'd be allowed to watch TV in the bedroom.

suzieQ

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23317 on: September 06, 2013, 08:01:20 PM »
And I know I've mentioned before, but some people add "okay?" to the end of a request as verbal short-hand for "do you hear and understand me" not "are you okay with this and if not that's fine too."

I've heard it put as "yes, ma'am?" instead of "okay?" and personally I like that better. Doesn't sound like a choice the kid has to make but an acknowledgement of "I heard and understand you."
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Shea

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23318 on: September 06, 2013, 08:40:08 PM »
Years ago I used to subscribe to a blog written by a library student. (Once she got a job, she took it down.)  One of the sections allowed librarians to air grievances and one young whippersnapper let loose on "older" librarians, how selfish we were not to retire in our forties and let younger librarians move up the food chain and get promotions.

In partial defense of this sort of dingbattery, I'll note that "The current crop of librarians is about to retire and your future is assured!" has been heavily used as a recruiting tactic by some, possibly many, MLS programs for awhile now. It's certainly what they told me when I started working towards my MLS ten years ago, and I don't think it was new then. Anyone who wholeheartedly believes the assertions of any organization that is desperate for their money deserves what they get, but this attitude likely isn't something she came to completely on her own.

As an MLIS-holder only a year out of library school, I can attest that people were telling me that very thing. Guess who's still working as a library assistant, despite having applied to upwards of 40 librarian jobs :P? And it's not just me, something like half of the people I graduated with are unemployed, employed in a totally non-MLIS-related field, or like me, working in jobs they're overqualified for. It's hardly the fault of all the crusty old librarians stubbornly holding onto their jobs, it's that when said crusty old librarians retire, no one is hired to replace them, because the economy still sucks.

Ahem. Back to your regularly scheduled thread.


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Piratelvr1121

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23319 on: September 06, 2013, 08:41:31 PM »
I use "Yes ma'am?" a lot, and my kids definitely understand that it is not asking them if they're okay with the order, but rather making sure they understand what they're expected to do and there will be no argument. 

I also throw in a "savvy" or "Capice?" too.
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doodlemor

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23320 on: September 06, 2013, 09:22:54 PM »
Yesterday my DH was in the ambulatory surgery unit of a nearby city hospital.  The pre-visit information that he was given stated that a patient was allowed 2 visitors only.  Because of this, we told both of our adult children not to come, so as not to hurt the feelings of the one who would be excluded.

Just before he was discharged we noticed 3 teenagers galloping down the hall, laughing loudly.  They galloped loudly out of the unit, got some food, and then came galloping back with their goodies, laughing all the while.  My husband was feeling better, but we were concerned for the people on the unit who appeared to be genuinely ill and in pain from their surgery. 

I can't imagine why any adult who accompanied a patient would bring 3 teenagers along as companions.  None of these kids appeared old enough to drive, so that meant that this group of people likely numbered 5, one of which was having surgery, and the rest were just there for the fun of it.

Rohanna

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23321 on: September 06, 2013, 09:23:03 PM »
I'd have exactly this conversation with my 5 year old, and I'd be pretty annoyed to have my parenting jumped in on like that. The "asking" would be me putting the rules to him "Kiddo, are you going to be quiet in the room like SoandSo asked? Okay, then you can watch TV in there". It's just a phrasing style, and to have someone over ride me would make me upset, as you are basically undermining me in front of them for no good reason.  I think "Will you do X if you're allowed to do Y" is a pretty common phrasing style (If I let you go to the park with your friends, will you remember to be back by dinner.... If I let you stay home by yourself, will you remember not to answer the door) that forces the child to acknowledge their role in the matter, and it's really not your place to jump in like that.  I have a friend who've I've cooled off playdates with as she tends to jump in when other people are handling things- it's offensive, annoying and quite frankly often confuses the kid.
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jedikaiti

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23322 on: September 07, 2013, 03:08:21 AM »
As far as the white boards and markers for them, my DD has been using them since K (she is in 2nd now) for math.  Instead of practicing on paper where they erase alot and tear the paper and waste it they just use the white boards.  I think it is a great idea and the dollar store has the boards and markers.

So we've come full circle back to the days of using slates?  :)

Didn't kids always had those? I know I had the whiteboard/dry erase kind a good 18 years ago, and that my parents had the black board/chalk ones a good uh, 50+ years ago.
I remember that we used them for mental arithmetic, that way the teacher would ask us to put the board up and she could check the entire class without leaving her seat. Same for quick spelling test.

I never had a slate or a whiteboard in school, late 70s - early 90s.
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kherbert05

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23323 on: September 07, 2013, 04:33:57 AM »
SS school bus driver in my neighborhood. Every morning since school has started, if I'm not lucky enough to miss it, this bus stops at the house of one of our neighbors. We have one road in and out of our neighborhood, with side streets branching off, but this house is on the main road, so the school bus with its red stop sign out stops all traffic in and out of the neighborhood (and the house is near the entrance, so it's ALL traffic). The student, a young-ish kid (probably elementary age) gets on the bus, alone, and then the mom comes out, talks to the driver for a good five-ten minutes every morning, and then the bus driver goes to the back of the bus (or at least farther back than the drivers seat, it's hard to tell from outside) and does something for another five minutes. THEN we can all go.

There was a parade of at least ten cars behind the bus trying to get into the neighborhood, and another fifteen or twenty vehicles (including two other school buses) trying to leave the neighborhood this morning. I can think of nothing that would require fifteen minutes to get a child not in a wheelchair (which can take some time) into a bus seat every single morning. I think the bus driver and the kid's mom are just friendly.
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It may be that the child is special needs and Mom has to pass on information and the child has to be buckled into a car seat or something you can't see. But the time frame is long for even that. There is a boy across the street from my school, who is special needs. Some mornings it takes longer to get him settled and buckled in. The driver turns off the blinkers and directs drivers to go around (while the aide and parent are getting the student buckled in.)
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Pen^2

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #23324 on: September 07, 2013, 04:42:03 AM »
I don't know if these were special snowflake parents or just weird...

Among other things, I teach a literacy class for four year olds. Some are five, some not quite four, but it works. New students are always welcome, and we get a new one every week or so. It's a class for kids whose reading is anywhere from non-existant to at grade level with maybe a few holes or poor spelling. Age usually isn't a problem.

However, it should go unspoken that a kid can't join the class if they aren't old enough to, say, walk. As of today, I'm having to rethink this assumption. We got a call from a parent a while ago who wanted his son to join the class. He said the son was two and a half, which is young, but still feasible. I made it clear that there would be tracing letters involved and that the child would have to sit down for a whole hour, which a lot of kids can't do at that age, but he assured me that his son was very advanced and all the rest of it. He was quite adamant that his son would cope fine.

Turns out the kid is 18 months old... next month. And he's not Mozart or anyone, just a normal, cute, baby. Who can't quite walk well on his own--he was falling every twenty steps or so. He couldn't engage in a conversation because, well, he's a baby. His vocabulary is too small. And of course he couldn't trace letters or colour inside lines--as is perfectly normal for a kid his age. His motor skills aren't up to it, and won't be until he's older.

We had to explain this to the parents, who were still adamant at how advanced he was despite having just seen how ill-suited the whole thing was. I know all parents have a tendency to think their kid is the bees' knees, and that's usually charming, but this was ridiculous. We suggested a nursery class, which he still might be too little for, but it was better than a kindergarten class. Did they want to show off to their friends? Did they spy some sunlight shining out the edges of the kid's nappy? Or were they just clueless?

I don't know. But I'm amazed.