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Author Topic: Special Snowflake Stories  (Read 6634775 times)

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parrot_girl

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24420 on: November 18, 2013, 05:57:53 AM »
Her reply "I dont' play silly games.  I hunt REAL ducks!!"   

she said this several times throughout the evening, as if her being a duck hunter should have been some big deal.

Does she hunt them by jumping out of a plane with nothing but a parachute on her back, a knife in her teeth and black murder in her heart, refusing to open the chute until she's bagged herself a duck in hand to hand combat? If that's not how she does it, I'm not very impressed.
Dear PeterM, I would just like to thank you for making me giggle till I cried. That mental image is warming the cockles of my heart!

ladyknight1

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24421 on: November 18, 2013, 07:48:07 AM »
SS I don't have to wait

This morning, on a 6 lane road, I saw something that made me gasp. There was a large, extra-long flatbed semi truck with a large generator strapped onto the bed. He had signaled and had clearance to move from the middle lane to the right. He started to move over.

Cue SS IDHTW. She pulled up in her little compact car into the path of the semi as it changed lanes. She must have realized this was a Bad IdeaTM, because she slammed on her brakes a minute before her car would have been made a convertible.

Winterlight

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24422 on: November 18, 2013, 07:51:40 AM »
Her reply "I dont' play silly games.  I hunt REAL ducks!!"   

she said this several times throughout the evening, as if her being a duck hunter should have been some big deal.

Does she hunt them by jumping out of a plane with nothing but a parachute on her back, a knife in her teeth and black murder in her heart, refusing to open the chute until she's bagged herself a duck in hand to hand combat? If that's not how she does it, I'm not very impressed.

Wouldn't that be hand to wing combat?
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Redsoil

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24423 on: November 18, 2013, 08:24:38 AM »
Oh no.  She only hunts SUPERDUCKS - the ones with extra appendages and mad martial art skillz.  Anything less wouldn't be a challenge.
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Twik

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24424 on: November 18, 2013, 09:04:38 AM »
Oh no.  She only hunts SUPERDUCKS - the ones with extra appendages and mad martial art skillz.  Anything less wouldn't be a challenge.

So, when served, you can get a wing, a leg, or an arm?
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VorFemme

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24425 on: November 18, 2013, 01:09:17 PM »
Her reply "I dont' play silly games.  I hunt REAL ducks!!"   

she said this several times throughout the evening, as if her being a duck hunter should have been some big deal.

Does she hunt them by jumping out of a plane with nothing but a parachute on her back, a knife in her teeth and black murder in her heart, refusing to open the chute until she's bagged herself a duck in hand to hand combat? If that's not how she does it, I'm not very impressed.
Dear PeterM, I would just like to thank you for making me giggle till I cried. That mental image is warming the cockles of my heart!

Does she hunt them with Elmer Fudd? 
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Moralia

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24426 on: November 18, 2013, 04:06:51 PM »
Something similar happened to me recently.   

Background:  I live in a part of the US where lots of women hunt.   Usually with their husbands or fathers, but nonetheless are just as much into it.   So it's not a novelty.

I was at a party and in one of the rooms we were playing a video game with shooting ducks.   You basically pointed the gun at the TV and tried to shoot the ducks before they all flew off.   A woman I did not know walked in and watched.   When the round finished, one of the players politely offered her their spot.  Her reply "I dont' play silly games.  I hunt REAL ducks!!"   

she said this several times throughout the evening, as if her being a duck hunter should have been some big deal.

I would pray for straight lines like that at a gathering I'm hosting.  The responses could be so fun:
"If you want to do that, you'll have to go outside..."
or
"Not in MY living room!"
or
(wide eyed) "Good heavens!  Not indoors, I hope!"

iridaceae

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24427 on: November 19, 2013, 06:56:35 AM »
We had a guest who told us at check out that the taxes were too high (they're set by the county; we have nothing to do with what the tax rate is) so she wasn't going to pay all of it. She said this to my boss. He said "yes you are" and she had a meltdown. When that didn't work she tried crying. He charged her card printed a receipt and said goodbye.
Nothing to see here.

cwm

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24428 on: November 19, 2013, 09:56:46 AM »
I have a story of three SS drivers. Two of them are SS Speed Limit Doesn't Apply, and the third is SS In A Hurry.

Years ago, I had to go to the mall for something. This was in college, and to get there I had to drive down a major thoroughfare. Not a problem, it's two lanes, 45mph all the way there. Except for the two SS-SLDAs ahead. They each seemed to be incapable of going more than 30mph, and of course they had to be driving side by side, rather than one falling in behind the other. And they had to be going on the main road rather than side roads.

I'm following them at a respectable distance, though very annoyed at the situation when up comes SS-IAH. I can see him coming up behind me for a few blocks, speeding and swerving in and out of the lanes of traffic, trying to get somewhere. I fall back further behind SS-SLDAs because I know what's going to happen, and I'm not disappointed. SS-IAH gets up to them and starts switching lanes between the two of them, back and forth, whichever happens to be a few inches ahead of the other at the time. He's laying on his horn, arms flying out the windows, and I crack my window just enough that I can verify that he was screaming some very choice words.

SS-SLDAs don't appear to be moved to speed up by this guy, they both slow down. They've already caused a pretty decent backup on this road by going so slow to begin with, but now they're down to about 25-28mph, and SS-IAH is FURIOUS. He lays on his horn and doesn't let up at all, he's riding right on the back end of one of the SS-SLDAs.

I don't know what happened after that, I had to turn off to get to the mall, but I was certainly glad that I wasn't behind that traveling circus any longer.

nutraxfornerves

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24429 on: November 19, 2013, 10:17:43 AM »
This is from Customers Suck. Most of the story is about a woman screaming to a store manager that she is going to sue if she doesn't get her way. That's just a garden variety of SS. The real winner is the woman's daughter who "had pushed our ENTIRE window display to the side of the table, laid down a napkin on the surface, and was eating her lunch off our window display table. " (emphasis in original)

http://www.customerssuck.com/board/showthread.php?t=103209

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Belle

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24430 on: November 19, 2013, 11:36:16 AM »
What I want to know is if she moved it on her own, how did it take two people plus her to move it back???
Because the staff member was not strong enough to move it by herself, even though the SS was. That was what contributed to the SS-ness of the matter- that she was well-capable of putting the machine back, but was just standing there watching the other woman struggle.

Yes, what Jocelyn said. There was one staff member attempting to move it back, but the staff member wasn't strong enough and the special snowflake just stood there watching. Eventually, the snowflake stepped in and helped to move it back.

I also wondered if she had moved it so she wasn't as close to the people on the other machines, but moving her machine didn't really help with that. She may not have been right next to the people on machines anymore, but now she had patrons trying to climb around her to get past and getting much closer than if she had left the machine where it was originally. It was just very, very odd.

Slartibartfast

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24431 on: November 19, 2013, 01:09:41 PM »
This may yet become professional darwinism, but . . . I'm just gonna leave this here.

Redneck Gravy

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24432 on: November 19, 2013, 03:50:43 PM »
Back to topic...

I nominate my Special Snowflake Sister for refusing to turn over to our brother the car our mother left him. 

She wanted it and he didn't "deserve" it.  She determines who in this world is deserving and who isn't and legality has nothing to do with it - it's all up to her Snowflake Highness.  He eventually got the car.

This is just one of the many toxic things she has done in her life.  If she wants it she takes it - doesn't matter if it belongs to you or not, she saw it, she wanted it, she took it.  And our mother enabled this a great deal most of her life.  Last time she tried something like that she got arrested - you know, out in the real world!   

 

 

Wordgeek

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24433 on: November 19, 2013, 04:10:29 PM »
I've removed the posts on homelessness but left the original link up.  Those who would like to discuss the issue in depth, please take it to the Civilized Politics forum.

http://www.civilizedpolitics.com/

TeamBhakta

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Re: Special Snowflake Stories
« Reply #24434 on: November 19, 2013, 04:30:51 PM »
People at a live performance who ignore the signs and loud pre-show announcements to not use cameras or recording devices. It's really distracting and rude in a dark theatre when you suddenly see someone raise a bright little screen, tap tap to record, adjust the viewfinder, etc. Especially the snowflake near the front row who did that and then posted it on the performer's twitter page; you've got brass ones to say "loved this moment, thanks for giving me a laugh" when the performer doesn't want you to record in the first place. I was ready to strangle the couple in front of me who taped the performer + took "look at us kissing" shots of themselves during the show