My Aunt M's Assumptions

[Twik]

Just a thought  - how old is your Aunt M?  There was a time (alas not so long ago) when not all doctors would provide bc info.  Unless she is just a big-butt-inner, mentioning you have a good doc/gyn that will take care of you as you wish should be sufficient.

Actually, norli has a point here. There was a time when knowing a doctor who would provide birth control was sort of like knowing a drug pusher - the information had to be passed through a clandestine, word-of-mouth network to make sure the authorities didn't close things down. Perhaps, when she was a young married woman, she was given the wink, and the nod, and an address on a piece of paper, and still thinks of that as how it's done.

She still sounds overbearing, but a couple of generations ago, someone making this offer could really be a lifesaver (sometimes literally).

[Raintree]

Perhaps you'd prefer to use other methods anyway. Condom, cervical cap, withdrawal, etc.  Whatever. It's none of her business.

"Oh, you've made an appointment for me? Thanks, but you'd better cancel it; everything's under control, so I won't be going. No, I don't wish to discuss this. This is a private matter between me and my future husband."

[RegentMom]

Ok, offering medical advice is a no-no, but my response is common sense, not medical.

 

Perhaps you'd prefer to use other methods anyway. Condom, cervical cap, withdrawal, etc.

Withdrawal is NOT birth control.  Check with your doc, get books, but get informed. 

OP--did she make an appt.?  How did you respond?

[Azrail]

Just a note while on the topic of BC - to all you pill takers out there, if you smoke also, stop smoking! Stop smoking now!!!

My friend has been in hospital over a week and a half because of blood clots found in her legs and stomach. They had gotten rid of 95% of them via keyhole, and had implanted a shield, but today I spoke with her and she told me they had found 3 more in her stomach. She is going to be in hospital for a long time, and out of work even longer. She was extremely lucky though, it could have ended very badly and she's not out of the woods yet.

This is the same friend I wrote about a while ago, who had that intrusive friend of her MIL crash our dinner and look in her pots and pans to see what she had made.

Sorry for the thread hijack.

[wordgirl]

One of the best tricks I learned from my own aunts is the Tone of Finality. A little extra emphasis* can do wonders for sending the right message and leaves them nothing to quote afterwards when they're slandering you behind your back.

"I have my own doctor, thank you. I do not wish to discuss this any more. Thank you for your concern."

*(not raising your voice at all, just making the words "heavier" if that makes any sense.)

[DaysOfPineAndRoses]

I'd probably have run from the room if a relative tried to discuss something so personal with me.

Most likely screaming.

[Lady Eboshi]

Wow! Just Wow!

If she does tell you that she has made an appointment, or even brings the subject up again, I suggest your response should be 'Gee Aunt M, I was just so surprised last time you raised this subject that I probably didn't make myself clear - I would not be comfortable going to your OB/GYN and I am not really comfortable discussing this subject at all. I hope you understand. Have you tried the beandip. I really should ask for the recipe. What kind of beans do you think she uses?

For Auntie M, I suggest has-beans 

[Redblues]

Aunt M: So, have you started birth control yet?
Answer: I'm afraid we don't discuss such issues with anyone but each other.  (Said with a cheerful smile, and repeated as often as necessary.)

[Mrs. Pilgrim]

"Aunt M.  AUNT M.  You ARE aware that I'm an adult, right?  If you're not prepared to respect that I'm an adult, I'd appreciate if you stopped discussing adult topics with me.  One or the other."

[Squeaks]

I am not sure this was the best use of "why would i want to do that"

The problem is that this answer implies you are not on the pill/using BC, and also. . . . well can come off as a little . . . uninformed.  I think a lot of people would have the internal response of "to avoid pregnancy that's why it is called birth control. .. . how does she not know what this is" 

It also unfortunately opens the door for discussion as you have already sorta answered that you were not on it.

How to proceed from here. . . . drop it.  If she brings it up again, assure her that you have all of your BC issues fully under control, and that you do not wish to discuss it further or again.  I don't see much good in bringing it up again unless she does.  And as other have said i doubt her GYN will let her set up an appointment for you.   

[Twik]

I am not sure this was the best use of "why would i want to do that"

The problem is that this answer implies you are not on the pill/using BC, and also. . . . well can come off as a little . . . uninformed.  I think a lot of people would have the internal response of "to avoid pregnancy that's why it is called birth control. .. . how does she not know what this is" 

I think the line works if it's modified to "Why would I want to discuss that in public?"

[Mrs. Pilgrim]

I am not sure this was the best use of "why would i want to do that"

The problem is that this answer implies you are not on the pill/using BC, and also. . . . well can come off as a little . . . uninformed.  I think a lot of people would have the internal response of "to avoid pregnancy that's why it is called birth control. .. . how does she not know what this is" 

I think the line works if it's modified to "Why would I want to discuss that in public?"

Or, perhaps, "Why would I want to discuss that with someone not directly involved?"  I used that on a kid trying to lecture me on contraception when Mr. P. and I announced Little Pilgrim #3 is on the way.