Hello Forum Members. I'm a long-time lurker but this is my first post. I hope this is the right folder for it. Something happened last week that left me wondering if I'm over-reacting, or if this was an acceptable act.
A little background... I have a friend I'll call "S." I've known her for many years. We used to have somewhat similar life situations and became very close, to a point of considering each other to be best friends. Over the years, our situations have changed and we drifted, although we have always still considered each other to be best friends.
A few months ago, things happened (too long a story to tell now, and not relevant to this story) that caused me to feel that S is not a friend and made me not care to associate with her. We never had an argument, but I was extremely disappointed by her actions in a situation that caused my life to change completely. End of background.
Last week, my mother passed away. She had had a massive stroke a week before, was in the hospital for a week, but never woke up. This was extremely sudden and completely unexpected. Mom was my best friend and my family (sister) has been less than supportive and this has been a very difficult time for me, although I am getting on with life with the occasional weepy moments.
When my mom passed away, I made all of the arrangements, and phoned family and friends in her address book. I also called my own close friends - basically anyone who knew my mom. I called S but got her voice mail a few times. I don't like to leave news such as this on a voice mail, but eventually had to, since I thought she may want to know before the services and I was unable to reach her.
The afternoon of the funeral, I received the longest text message on my cell phone - so long that it was actually delivered in 4 separate text messages. It was from S and it was a long condolence message, saying how sorry she was for my loss, how she thinks of me as her sister, and to please call her so we can get together for dinner. To say that I was gobsmacked would be the understatement of the decade.
Do we live in a world that has become so technologically advanced that this is considered an acceptable manner of sending condolences? In other words, am I over-reacting by being very hurt that she could spend more time typing a text message on a cell phone that it would have taken to just dial my number and talk to me for a few minutes? I fully understand that some people cannot handle a traditional viewing or funeral and I did not expect that of anyone. I was truly touched by people who were not able to attend and would call or send a card. But I was unable to answer S's text message because I just have no words to say to such a gesture.