I'm new here (just rediscovered this site a few days ago)...anyway, I have/had a situation and would really appreciate your expert advice. I would have given anything to have known about WAIA a couple months ago. Here's the situation:
My dh has worked for a local, family owned business for the past 37 yrs. Dh and I have been married 16 yrs and together over 20 yrs...so I have known this family (and they me) for a couple decades now. Having been a sahm to 4 great kids for 14 yrs...I went back to work in 2007 as an assistant/clerk for my dh. He's in a Vice President position and just does not have time for "clerk work". He arranged things so that I could work from home (which was awesome). So, for nearly 2 yrs. I put my heart and soul into helping him manage a new division (that he's in charge of). I created an entire system of tracking, logging and billing hundreds of construction jobs. Anyway, because of the recent economic crisis...dh had to lay me off last November. While I was upset, I understand because he has superintendents on salary that he's trying to keep busy. So for now, one of the supers is doing my job...and yes, I trained him LOL!
Okay...now this last December is where the "situation" started. While a company wide email went out inviting "all employees" to the year end awards/foreman's meeting/xmas party, I didn't receive it. While I wasn't the only female in this very dominant construction company...it is made up of mostly guys. Because I was the "link" between the office and the field, I became great friends with several of the guys (supers/foremen). So when one of the supers asked me if I was going to go to this year end xmas party (I had gone to the previous year's party), I said I hadn't received the email. He then forwarded the email to me which plainly stated to those receiving the email to be sure and "pass it on" to as many employees as they knew (as a lot of employees had been laid off due to economics and weather). My dh was going to be out of town and wouldn't be attending...but my friend the super said he wasn't going if I didn't go. So I figured why not.
Some of the gals from the office were there as well (handing out sweatshirts, hats and gift cards)...I won't even go into the fiasco related to that, but suffice it to say, that I did not feel welcome from the office folk. I sat with the group of guys that I knew and had worked with for almost 2 yrs. Some of them I know better than others, but because I'm their boss's wife, I really went out of my way to establish easy-going relationships with all of them. After the awards/giveaways and dinner concluded...my super friend and I stayed to help clean up (party was held in a local hall). We folded chairs, tables, picked up trash, etc...It wasn't a great time, but overall, I had a good time with my buddies. It's nice cause they treat me like "one of the guys" and it was always really fun working with them.
That party was Friday night and the "office" xmas party (for management, etc.) was on Saturday night. The owners son (who's in his mid 30's) has taken over as president of the company...but the owners Mr and Mrs. S are still involved, especially with "social" things. Anyway, the night before...I had seen both Mr. and Mrs. S (though not together) and both were very nice to me. Like I said before, we've known each other since I met my dh...so we go way back. A little background on Mrs. S. She is in her early 60's. She has battled her weight for years...and while she may have been a little overweight, she was never what I would have considered "obese"...yet a couple years ago, she underwent gastric bypass. Aside from nearly dying from this surgery...she has undergone a "drastic" change. She lost so much weight (so fast) that now she's "skeletal" looking and has aged 20 yrs. While these people are quite "well off" they're always trying to buy their happiness...anyway, she seems quite miserable. Now she's thin...but she has all this loose skin and it has just really "aged" her. I have truly felt terrible for her situation. Mr. S is not the most sensitive guy and I have a feeling that much of the "work" she's had done is to try and please the unpleasable (Mr. S)...
Fast forward to the night of the office xmas party which was held at a very nice restaurant. We were one of the first couples to show up...so we picked out our seating, etc...and began mingling with the guests that were still arriving. When Mr. and Mrs. S arrived...we were standing there talking with some other people when Mrs. S walked up to us. I think I might have said something like, "...oh hi "S", nice to see you again...", then Mrs. S proceeded not only to completely ignore my comment, but to make this comment (to which I was truly speechless): "...Oh yeah, C was at the party last night and she did her best to 'pick-up' every guy in the place, but none of them would take her home..." OMGosh...I can't remember the last time anyone embarrassed or insulted me that way. To say I was "dumbfounded" is an understatement...and seeing other people's uneasiness, awkwardness, etc...I quickly said, "...yeah, the guys take great care of me..." as in, even though my dh wasn't there, they sat with me and were good buddies. I then just walked away (to compose myself). Sheesh...my dh encouraged me to go, cause he knew I'd be with the Atmos crew and we're all good friends. I was hardly up trying to score guys. ...it's been over 2 months ago, but everytime I think of it or retell the story to someone, my blood begins to boil.
I did send Mr. and Mrs. S a nice thank you note expressing our gratitude for the lovely evening and for the gift cards we each received at the xmas party. I haven't seen either Mr. or Mrs. S since that night, but it's only a matter of time til we meet again at some other social function. I just don't want to lose my cool. For what it's worth, I'm 10 yrs. younger than my dh (he's 54, I'm 44) and a decent looking chick and generally get along well with everyone. This whole thing just came out of left field and I felt so unprepared and blind sided that I just don't understand it. I have never been anything but nice to this woman. I worked hard for HER company. I just don't "get" it.
If you've made it this far, bless your heart...I am just wondering, if I handle the situation correctly and how to handle future encounters with her. While I would love to "get even" I know that is childish and wrong...I especially would not want to do or say anything that would shine a negative light on my dh. So what do you all think? Should I just forget it? How should I handle any further insults this woman may throw my way? I really wish I would have known about the TAIA back then. Any feedback would be very appreciated!
Thanks in advance!