Author Topic: Lent Etiquette  (Read 20947 times)

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Trisha

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Lent Etiquette
« on: February 24, 2009, 08:47:45 PM »
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« Last Edit: October 26, 2011, 02:34:37 PM by Trishlovesdolphins »

Kaylee

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #1 on: February 24, 2009, 09:06:20 PM »
If this were a first-time situation, I would just ask the dad whether he would prefer that you wait until after Lent to give them the candy.  Since it's happened before, nothing has been said and the kids seem to understand the concept of saving it, you're really contributing to their spiritual education.   ;)  But you could still always ask the dad.

It's not rude to offer things to a Catholic during Lent--it's just not rude for them to say "No thank you" either.  Of course, that wouldn't be rude at any other time, but I guess if it's something they'd accepted before they might offer a word of explanation so you won't think they're suddenly diabetic or on a diet.  I never want to discourage people from giving me candy.   8)

tiggnduff

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #2 on: February 25, 2009, 12:41:49 AM »
If you know this is something they are giving up for Lent I would definitely pass it by dad first..well actually you should probably pass it by him first no matter Lent or what.  If he says ok..well I guess it would be ok but if you know it's something they are giving up..mmm... if it were me I wouldn't give it to them just because I would feel bad about tempting them.

As a practicing Catholic I always gave up ( and still) do something for lent that was hard and that meant allot and temptation was the last thing I needed lol.

If dad says it's ok the technically it's ok but if you know they are giving up candy for lent I would save all the goodies and deliver them for Easter.  You would be the best grown up on the block then lol

marcel

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #3 on: February 25, 2009, 03:23:50 AM »
We never observed lent when I was a kid, but my parents did. They told us that they would receive candy during lent and they would collect it all in a tin. Then after lent they would have a lot of candy ;D.
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MaggieB

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #4 on: February 25, 2009, 07:11:04 AM »
I would give it to the dad "for the Easter baskets."  ;)  I don't think it's rude to offer it to the family.  They can decline it or take it and save the candy.  Sometimes people take Sundays off from their Lent fasts.  I would just offer it to Dad to do with as he saw fit.




Mazdoy

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #5 on: February 25, 2009, 07:17:30 AM »
I was brought up as a catholic and often forced to give up sweets (candy) for lent.  If we were given any we had to save it until the end of lent or until Paddys day when everyone was allowed to take a break from what they gave up.

If they kids say they'll eat it after lent I'd let them have it as it gives them something yummy to look forward to.

Daffydilly

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #6 on: February 25, 2009, 07:38:44 AM »
My family was Catholic growing up and we would give things up for lent. But if we were visiting someone, it was rude to refuse what they offered because of the personal choices we had made for Lent. Ex: candy, I'd eat a little bit with my mother's approval and if offered more to take home would accept knowing it would be eaten after Lent.
PS My mum hated making me Easter baskets so she stopped when I was seven. After that, I saved candy for my own homemade basket and my grandma made sure I had some when we went to the mall before Easter.  :D

thunderroad

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #7 on: February 25, 2009, 08:15:39 AM »
I vote for asking the father.  Certainly it would be rude to offer a child something you know that he cannot eat, or to knowingly increase his temptation to break his resolution, and I know that's what you are trying to avoid.  But the parents may have made certain rules, such as allowing the children to have the treats that they are giving up on Sundays, for example.

You can't go wrong by checking with the dad. 

Evil Duckie

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #8 on: February 25, 2009, 09:03:37 AM »
I would check with their Dad. This way you won't do something that will cause the children a problem in their family.

Trisha

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #9 on: February 25, 2009, 12:45:04 PM »
Well, normally I do say something to the Dad about having a bunch of goodies to send home with him before they come. I certainly don't want to send that much candy without permission, even if there are 5 boys and a girl in the house. :)

Part of the problem too is that I don't observe Lent, so I have no idea when it is until I either offer them the candy, or read/hear about it somewhere else. Not every goodie bag is around Lent, so that helps. :)

magician5

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #10 on: February 25, 2009, 01:44:59 PM »
I speak as a non-Catholic but definitely a regretful fat person - sending them home with candy at regular times is another issue, but ratcheting up this lententime already-too-intense focus on candy may be fostering an unhealthy focus on candy. It might be time to reduce the regular gifts, and see if there's any way to avoid the issue coming up at all during lent.
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milosparront

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #11 on: February 25, 2009, 02:04:11 PM »
If you know this is something they are giving up for Lent I would definitely pass it by dad first..well actually you should probably pass it by him first no matter Lent or what.  If he says ok..well I guess it would be ok but if you know it's something they are giving up..mmm... if it were me I wouldn't give it to them just because I would feel bad about tempting them.

As a practicing Catholic I always gave up ( and still) do something for lent that was hard and that meant allot and temptation was the last thing I needed lol.


If dad says it's ok the technically it's ok but if you know they are giving up candy for lent I would save all the goodies and deliver them for Easter.  You would be the best grown up on the block then lol


This is the true spirit of Lent.   ;D  And yes, I would ask the father first before giving his children candy. 

Sharnita

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #12 on: February 25, 2009, 06:40:37 PM »
I think I would check with dad each time - Lent or not.

I do have another Lent etiquette question.  I have had people ask me and hear others being asked "What are you giving up for Lent".  I dislike this question for several reasons.

1) The person might not be giving up anything for Lent.  The question seems to indicate that is expected that they should.
2) They might be giving up something that they find personally tempting and are afraid to admit.  They might not feel comfortable explaining that they are giving up porn or that kind of thing.
3) I've always seen this as between me and God.  If I go around announcing to everybody that I'm giving up X it seems like I am looking for the praise of man.  that isn't supposed to be the purpose.

There are cases where people need to know I'm giving up X.  If my birthday were to fall during Lent it might inform what I will or won't eat at my birthday dinner.  However, I see it as a question that should be avoided.  I also think that if I'm asked I might just respond that I've decided to keep that between me and God.

Thoughts?

Snowy Owl

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #13 on: February 25, 2009, 07:36:46 PM »
I think saying that it's between you and God is fine.  I've never been religious and have never "done" Lent, so I would say if asked "I don't keep Lent."  If someone asks for more I'd probably say that I'm not religious and then change the subject. 

I have to say I've never been asked about this.  In my organisation at work people tend to keep their religious views to themselves, and so it's never come up in conversation.  Most of my friends are atheist and so don't keep Lent. 
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Kaylee

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #14 on: February 25, 2009, 09:06:26 PM »
I haven't heard anyone ask anyone else what they're giving up for Lent since junior high school.   ;D  Wow, that brings back memories.

I would consider it a mildly nosy question, though I guess if it were among friends of the same persuasion who discuss such things that might seem more normal.  I wouldn't even think to ask it of anyone I know; it just wouldn't be something that would cross my mind.