My partner and I are going to host Easter this year as a favor to his Aunt who normally hosts. (She's sick.) Down the road we may also host other holidays so this is more than just a one time deal.
We are hosting my partner's Dad's side of the family as well as my parents, 2 uncles and cousin.
My Mom hosts every holiday for her side of the family, but it's small, 6 people total. My uncle and cousin (father and son) always attend. Cousin and Uncle show up to every holiday looking pretty scrubby. They both always look like they just rolled out of bed. Dirty jeans, wrinkled shirts, dirty sneakers, worn out sweatshirts, messy hair, generally messy and tired looking.
Since it's always the 6 of us, honestly no one cares what they look like, although the rest of us usually wear nice jeans, nice sweaters or blouses, dressier type shoes, hair done nice, etc.
*However* I will point out that the few times we had additional people at a holiday Uncle and Cousin made it very clear that they felt self conscious about their attire. Making comments like "I'd have worn a better shirt/my new shoes/new jeans if I had known Sally and Sam were going to be here". Also one Christmas Eve (we always attend a late night party on Christmas Eve) the host of the party told us to invite Uncle and Cousin. They planned to attend until they saw how dressed up my parents and I were and then decided not to come because "we don't want to go there under-dressed".
My point of this all being that they are clearly aware that their holiday attire is less than polished.
Partner's family gets dressed up for EVERYTHING. So I guarantee that at Easter they will be in nice dresses, full suits, clean shaven, etc. At minimum dress khakis, collared shirts, shined shoes.
While we will let Uncle and Cousin know that partner's family will be at Easter - should we warn them about Partner's family being dressed up? If so, what should we say to them?
My Mom will be sending them an email with the details about the Easter holiday, times, food, etc. Should we add in something about attire? I don't want to hurt their feelings but I'll feel bad if they show up and then feel out of place.
** I want to stress that I don't give a flying monkey what anyone wears to the holiday party. Come naked for all I care. But I KNOW my Uncle and Cousin, and they will feel weird if they show up looking their usual way and walk in to a room of strangers dressed to the 9's. I will also add that money and having actual nice clothes is NOT the issue here either.**