Author Topic: Lent Etiquette  (Read 20877 times)

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Scritzy

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #15 on: February 25, 2009, 11:10:15 PM »
First question: I would run it by the dad anyway.

Second question: "That's between me and God."

My denomination keeps Lent, too, and we don't make a huge deal about what we're giving up. I only found out what Tim was declining last year when I offered him a piece of balklava.

I posted this in another thread, but last year Pastor said during Ash Wednesday services that some people might give up Coke for Lent. I could have sworn he was looking at me, but Tim said it could just as easily been meant for him. :D
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Trisha

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #16 on: February 25, 2009, 11:54:04 PM »
Well, Dad always knows. He always asks if he can bring the kids, and if I have candy to send, I'll say something like, "Sure, I have about a ton of candy to send with them if you want it."

So, the asking Dad part isn't really a problem. :) I just wonder if I need to be more mindful of Lent time of year.

Scritzy

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #17 on: February 26, 2009, 12:23:43 AM »
So, the asking Dad part isn't really a problem. :) I just wonder if I need to be more mindful of Lent time of year.

I think that's very nice of you, actually. :)
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lovinAZ

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #18 on: February 26, 2009, 12:51:17 AM »
"What are you giving up for Lent?"

"Answering nosy questions."   >:D

guihong

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #19 on: February 26, 2009, 12:16:01 PM »
"What are you giving up for Lent?"

"Answering nosy questions."   >:D

 ;D

I've always wondered if it's rude or disrespectful to give up something for Lent when one isn't even of a faith that observes it.   On the one hand, I never tell anyone anyway, so nobody knows.  And, I suppose if G_d is offended, well, he'll deal with me later.

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Aggiesque

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #20 on: February 26, 2009, 06:43:26 PM »
You can always ask the Father if offering his kids candy will be a problem as it's Lent. I'd have no problem with someone saying that to me, anyway.
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PeasNCues

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #21 on: February 27, 2009, 10:57:36 AM »
"What are you giving up for Lent?"

"Answering nosy questions."   >:D

 ;D

I've always wondered if it's rude or disrespectful to give up something for Lent when one isn't even of a faith that observes it.   On the one hand, I never tell anyone anyway, so nobody knows.  And, I suppose if G_d is offended, well, he'll deal with me later.

gui

Gui - I've actually wondered the same thing. I've come to a point in my life where I've become strong enough to admit that I am not of that faith, but I still observe lent as sort of an exercise in self control, or to cleanse myself of all those sweets i eat that I don't really need. But when I say I've "given up sweets" I either get the "but you're not _______" from those who know I follow a different path or, "Oh, you must be observing Lent" from people who do not know. I don't correct anyone, but I've always wondered if my observing lent was iffy from a practitioner's POV.
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Xallanthia

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #22 on: February 27, 2009, 11:41:21 AM »
"What are you giving up for Lent?"

"Answering nosy questions."   >:D

 ;D

I've always wondered if it's rude or disrespectful to give up something for Lent when one isn't even of a faith that observes it.   On the one hand, I never tell anyone anyway, so nobody knows.  And, I suppose if G_d is offended, well, he'll deal with me later.

gui

Gui - I've actually wondered the same thing. I've come to a point in my life where I've become strong enough to admit that I am not of that faith, but I still observe lent as sort of an exercise in self control, or to cleanse myself of all those sweets i eat that I don't really need. But when I say I've "given up sweets" I either get the "but you're not _______" from those who know I follow a different path or, "Oh, you must be observing Lent" from people who do not know. I don't correct anyone, but I've always wondered if my observing lent was iffy from a practitioner's POV.

Lots of people give up tempting things, for various reasons and at various times.  When I was in HS, a girl I was friends with who was known for charity work would give out envelopes, suggesting that you put in $.25 daily during Lent and it would be given to a charity (she specified; I don't remember anymore).  Lots of my friends participated, even Jewish ones, because they saw value in the gift and in a small sacrifice.

Someone who is very observant may privately observe that you aren't really participating in Lent as you aren't participating in its other aspect: going to church (because ultimately, Lent is meant to point us towards Easter).  However, if they observe this aloud and/or rudely, well, they are rude.  You are still OK.

Sharnita

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #23 on: February 27, 2009, 02:48:19 PM »
"What are you giving up for Lent?"

"Answering nosy questions."   >:D

 ;D

I've always wondered if it's rude or disrespectful to give up something for Lent when one isn't even of a faith that observes it.   On the one hand, I never tell anyone anyway, so nobody knows.  And, I suppose if G_d is offended, well, he'll deal with me later.

gui

Gui - I've actually wondered the same thing. I've come to a point in my life where I've become strong enough to admit that I am not of that faith, but I still observe lent as sort of an exercise in self control, or to cleanse myself of all those sweets i eat that I don't really need. But when I say I've "given up sweets" I either get the "but you're not _______" from those who know I follow a different path or, "Oh, you must be observing Lent" from people who do not know. I don't correct anyone, but I've always wondered if my observing lent was iffy from a practitioner's POV.

Do you do it during exactly the same period as Lent?  It might come off as you playing at being observant of Lent.

PeasNCues

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #24 on: February 27, 2009, 03:01:15 PM »
"What are you giving up for Lent?"

"Answering nosy questions."   >:D

 ;D

I've always wondered if it's rude or disrespectful to give up something for Lent when one isn't even of a faith that observes it.   On the one hand, I never tell anyone anyway, so nobody knows.  And, I suppose if G_d is offended, well, he'll deal with me later.

gui

Gui - I've actually wondered the same thing. I've come to a point in my life where I've become strong enough to admit that I am not of that faith, but I still observe lent as sort of an exercise in self control, or to cleanse myself of all those sweets i eat that I don't really need. But when I say I've "given up sweets" I either get the "but you're not _______" from those who know I follow a different path or, "Oh, you must be observing Lent" from people who do not know. I don't correct anyone, but I've always wondered if my observing lent was iffy from a practitioner's POV.

Do you do it during exactly the same period as Lent?  It might come off as you playing at being observant of Lent.
I mostly do it during this time period because while people will want you to cheat on a diet or personal goal, when you say, "I'm not eating sweet at this time" during lent, then they don't argue or try to persuade you otherwise (and I admit I am weak willed - I need people to accept that I have a diet change or I give in  :-\). But that's what I'm worried about - people thinking I am mocking or perverting their religious observance.

Note: I never say, "for lent." People just make assumptions, and I allow them to. Is that bad? (asking honestly)
'I shall sit here quietly by the fire for a bit, and perhaps go out later for a sniff of air.  Mind your Ps and Qs, and don't forget that you are supposed to be escaping in secret, and are still on the high-road and not very far from the Shire!' -FOTR

http://inanitiesofanidlemind.blogspot.com/

twinkletoes

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #25 on: February 27, 2009, 06:05:24 PM »
I think I would check with dad each time - Lent or not.

I do have another Lent etiquette question.  I have had people ask me and hear others being asked "What are you giving up for Lent".  I dislike this question for several reasons.

1) The person might not be giving up anything for Lent.  The question seems to indicate that is expected that they should.
2) They might be giving up something that they find personally tempting and are afraid to admit.  They might not feel comfortable explaining that they are giving up porn or that kind of thing.
3) I've always seen this as between me and God.  If I go around announcing to everybody that I'm giving up X it seems like I am looking for the praise of man.  that isn't supposed to be the purpose.

There are cases where people need to know I'm giving up X.  If my birthday were to fall during Lent it might inform what I will or won't eat at my birthday dinner.  However, I see it as a question that should be avoided.  I also think that if I'm asked I might just respond that I've decided to keep that between me and God.

Thoughts?

I have had problems with what should be #4:  You might not be giving up something, but you're trying to do more.  I am not giving up anything this year, but I *am* trying to do some volunteer work.  Unfortunately, some folks think that if you aren't giving up candy or chips or TV, then your Lent sacrifice 'doesn't count.'

Oh, and I kept reading this thread as "Lentiquette."  It has a nice ring to it.

Scritzy

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #26 on: February 27, 2009, 06:11:04 PM »
I also often "give" without "giving up" during Lent. I'm doing it this year.
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MaggieB

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #27 on: February 27, 2009, 06:18:05 PM »

Note: I never say, "for lent." People just make assumptions, and I allow them to. Is that bad? (asking honestly)

Not at all!  You are not responsible for people's assumptions.  And even if you did intend to sort of imply that you were observing Lent, it's still your own business.  

Lent is a Catholic tradition, but it means different things to different people.  I know priests who have several different perspectives on it too.  I don't think it is at all offensive to observe it for reasons that mean something to you and "ignore" (for lack of a better word) the aspects of it that don't mean something to you.  

milosparront

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #28 on: February 28, 2009, 12:26:12 PM »
I also often "give" without "giving up" during Lent. I'm doing it this year.


I believe if you give .....  You are giving little piece of yourself......  Therefore perhaps the true spirit of the season??   :)

MissRose

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Re: Lent Etiquette
« Reply #29 on: February 28, 2009, 01:10:04 PM »
I would ask the parents first if it was okay or not.

My mother has always been more of the strict Catholic compared to my father, and I am sure she would've made sure if that was me & my sister having to give candy for Lent, that we would not have the candy at all till Easter.

I am not as strict on myself regarding Lenten practices but I do try to do a few extra good deeds like donating food and/or unneeded clothes, not eating meat on Fridays, and giving up 2 things that I consider my biggest vices: chocolate and chips (and I dont touch the stuff on Sundays even though those days technically dont count).  My birthday does fall during Lent and I will allow myself a slice or 2 of chocolate birthday cake as a treat.