Author Topic: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...  (Read 16335 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

lucy_in_the_sky

  • Guest
Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« on: February 27, 2009, 02:19:35 PM »
Right... this was the oddest one I've gotten in a while, which includes the Goth incident from another topic.

I was having a wander in Salem today, just poking around and doing some shopping. Today I chose a black shirt, indigo jeans, and a black ruffly sweater. (It's not freezing in MA anymore! YAY!) Today's jewelry is a silver ring, two silver bracelets, and a sizable moonstone pendant on a short black cord. When I say sizable I mean it's about two inches long, with a teardrop and an oval rainbow moonstone. My hair was tied back. A mother and daughter are walking in the other direction, so coming towards me, on the sidewalk. The girl, who was about 10-12 (and should have known better) points at me and says in a very loud voice "Hey, it's a Salem Witch!" then smirk.

The mother glares at me (what did I do?!) and then proceeds to cross the street while gripping the girl's hand and peering at me over her shoulder, as though she wanted me to know I was the reason for their change of trajectory.

I was so startled that I stopped dead and watched them walk off. I must confess that a part of me wanted to shout "I'll get you my pretty, and your little dog, too!"

I think it was the look I was sporting today. I don't know what it is about my fashion choices... I mean the only thing I could think of that seemed even a little new-agey was the necklace, but where is it written that only witches can wear big shiny moonstones? In what reality is it okay to treat people like that, even if I were a witch?

Is there a way I could have handled this better? I mean, should I have said something? My first instinct is always to say something immediately, mainly because I think rude people should be called on their rudeness, but in this situation I don't think there's anything I could have done, even if I hopped on my broomstick and chased after them.

This is getting just a little ranty, so I'll stop.  :-X

lady_disdain

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5816
    • Contemporary Jewelry
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #1 on: February 27, 2009, 03:34:57 PM »
Don't worry about it - they made fools of themselves in public.

Calling them out in public would not only be rude of you (thereby lowering you to their level somewhat) but also useless: such preconceived notions aren't changed because a freak called them out on it. By the way, I think that she was looking over her shoulder to make sure you weern't following her for nefarious reasons *shrug*

Hurricane Marathon

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1570
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #2 on: February 27, 2009, 03:38:22 PM »
In Salem, Mass.?  I'd be disappointed if I *didn't* see a witch.  :D

lucy_in_the_sky

  • Guest
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #3 on: February 28, 2009, 10:47:14 AM »
lady_disdain, Thank you. I figured that I couldn't have done anything better, but it for some reason it really upset me yesterday. I've never had something like that happen to me before (where someone ran away from me)

juicy_fruit_kisses, I know! If that was their reaction to me, I'd like to see them take on "Well-known Witch of Salem"*. 





***Didn't know if it was appropriate to use her name, so I wont.  :P

KitFox

  • Guest
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #4 on: March 03, 2009, 04:44:39 PM »
Happens to me all the time. And sometimes it happens the opposite way. I'm not pagan, but I'm goth. I've had many goth pagans get really mad at me for "stealing" their "identity." Whaa-? I didn't know it was a uniform. I kinda thought it wasn't and that was the POINT of goth to begin with. It makes my head want to go *BOOM*!

yupitsme

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 816
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #5 on: March 04, 2009, 01:20:39 PM »
Because it was a child, I would brush it off. The mother should have said something though. A sorry would have been nice.

I'm from MA (it's freezing again!) and go to Salem very often. I see people dressed like that there all the time. I don't think everyone there is a witch! I honestly think it was just because you were in Salem. I think if you were in Downtown Boston dressed like that no one would say anything. Plus I think the little girl was "looking for" a witch.


Sleepingmediocre

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2138
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #6 on: March 04, 2009, 01:26:46 PM »
Happens to me all the time. And sometimes it happens the opposite way. I'm not pagan, but I'm goth. I've had many goth pagans get really mad at me for "stealing" their "identity." Whaa-? I didn't know it was a uniform. I kinda thought it wasn't and that was the POINT of goth to begin with. It makes my head want to go *BOOM*!

Reminds me of the goth kids from "South Park."   ;)

lucy_in_the_sky, I wouldn't let two rude people ruin your day.  Wear your moonstones with your head held high. 

lucy_in_the_sky

  • Guest
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #7 on: March 05, 2009, 09:36:29 PM »
Oh I didn't.  ;)  One thing that bugs me, though, is that the kid was like 10-13ish, so I really wanted to say something. Like "Oh look, a rude girl!"

I know that's not Etiquette approved, but it bugged me more that her rude behavior was reinforced by the mother than anything else. Its like that rude kid from another topic who kept saying that OP's fiance was fat. Kids should be taught from a much younger age than 10 about etiquette and what's considered rude. Even if the mother didn't approve of my lifestyle, which she has no proof I actually subscribe to, their actions were still rude, and it still ticked me off.

Oh well. It was ages ago.  ;D

sbtier

  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 5294
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #8 on: March 05, 2009, 10:21:47 PM »
Tourists!   ::)  I would have thought it was a local disapproving of what she saw as 'touristy witchiness' with the dirty look but the fact that she crossed the street makes me think she WAS a tourist.

I'm also from MA and agree with the previous poster that it's just BECAUSE you were in Salem that you got that reaction.  Did you go to Ye Olde Pepper?   ;D

Frostblooded

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 1246
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #9 on: March 05, 2009, 10:52:30 PM »
When people ask me if I am goth or make comments about it, I say, "I'm a barbarian?! Get back ye Roman!" or something silly like that. However, that is a reflection of own hate of the term, and that will garner you even crazier stares, so it's best to ignore it and sway your hips as if you are zee tragique exigée absolument noire!

Nannerdoman

  • Mistress of the trivial and arcane.
  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 4422
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #10 on: March 18, 2009, 02:17:41 PM »
I don't suppose it's possible that the mother was dragging her daughter off to ream her out in private about her rudeness?
I'm the grammarian against whom your mother warned you.

Bibliophile

  • May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one.
  • Super Hero!
  • ****
  • Posts: 12025
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #11 on: March 18, 2009, 02:22:23 PM »
Did you forget to mention the ruby slippers and green face paint?  That's just plain odd - and rude.  Sad that the daughter is learning rudeness from the mom...

“Those are my principles, and if you don't like them... well, I have others.” ~ Groucho Marx

lucy_in_the_sky

  • Guest
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #12 on: March 20, 2009, 12:02:16 AM »
Did you forget to mention the ruby slippers and green face paint?  That's just plain odd - and rude.  Sad that the daughter is learning rudeness from the mom...

Next time this happens to me (it happens a lot...) I'm going to cackle. Seriously, next time I've got my cape and conical hat, then make the judgment.

LovesWater

  • Member
  • **
  • Posts: 907
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #13 on: March 20, 2009, 12:27:11 AM »
...  If that was their reaction to me, I'd like to see them take on "Well-known Witch of Salem"*. 

Now I'm curious. I assume you don't mean S_______ M______, but someone from the current century?

LeeLee88

  • Hero Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 2451
Re: Yet another assumption based on my appearance...
« Reply #14 on: March 22, 2009, 06:58:43 PM »
Haha! Lucy, my mother and I have both had that happen to us, just because we enjoy wearing wraps and quite a lot of tribal jewelry.  Most folks look at my mom and go "crazy hippie", while others look at me (tall, dark, kind-of-angry-look-on-my-face-because-I'm-not-paying-attention-to-how-I-look-at-the-moment) and think, "Gasp! Witch!".  While sometimes I am very tempted to blurt out, "Yes, I am, and little children smell like dog-droppings", I usually just smile kindly and laugh a little.  You are right though, many parents seem to get this look on their faces as though they're afraid that I might "get" their kids or something. 

I just remembered when I was picking up my nephews from day-care, and while I was talking to the day-care worker and getting the boys' coats on, a handful of kids came up to me and asked if I was a witch :).  I said no, I wasn't, but I know several, and they are all very nice people.  The kids went off after checking out my bracelets and that was that. 

That woman may have been taking her daughter off for a lecture, but I don't think she would've have been watching you over her shoulder or would have given you the stink-eye had that been her intent.  People can be obnoxious and pretty much dumb sometimes; you handled this gracefully, and as a previous poster said, it wouldn't really have done anything for you to call out the mother and daughter on their behavior as they surely would've just felt further justified for acting that way towards you.  Sorry it happened, but don't let it de-rail the fabulous train!!