Public Transportation

[familyfun]

Motorists: Be very careful about switching lanes in front of a bus, especially on the highway.  If you cut the bus off, every passenger on the bus can get thrown forward if the bus driver has to slam on the breaks.

And a corollary, if you do cause an accident by doing this at an entrance to a highway and you're fortunate enough not to have caused injuries, don't be suprised to learn that an entire busful of people are more than a bit miffed at having to find an alternate route home because that's the last run of their particular bus line for the evening.  And/or laughing at you because your need to save a few seconds by cutting in front of the bus is now going to cost you a whole lot more time & money.

Also in this situation, passengers who witnessed the facts should give their contact information to the driver.  They have to go through a whole process including drug testing, etc. to prove the accident was not their fault.  I gave my contact information to the driver when this happened one commute home.  Never got called, but I figured he might need it.

[arkzak]

One for the gentlemen: We know you are built differently, but do you really need to sit with your knees that far apart? If you are storing prickly pineapples, please consider placing them in a carrier bag instead. And you are allowed to fold your newspaper and not hold it at arm's length.

And while I'm at it, if you (general) are going to have a 42 minute top-of-your-voice cellphone conversation, can you try to make it more interesting? I'm sure your flower arrangement was delightful, but I didn't need to know about it in that much detail.

I think I had a bad day on the train today 

[Venus193]

One for the gentlemen: We know you are built differently, but do you really need to sit with your knees that far apart? If you are storing prickly pineapples, please consider placing them in a carrier bag instead. And you are allowed to fold your newspaper and not hold it at arm's length.

You have encountered the infamous Spider Monkey, my biggest subway pet peeve.  We still haven't figured out how to fight this one.

And while I'm at it, if you (general) are going to have a 42 minute top-of-your-voice cellphone conversation, can you try to make it more interesting? I'm sure your flower arrangement was delightful, but I didn't need to know about it in that much detail.

I think I had a bad day on the train today 

I usually give the Miss Manners Raised Eyebrow at people like this.

[ACBNYC]

One for the gentlemen: We know you are built differently, but do you really need to sit with your knees that far apart?

And please keep your feet out of the aisle. I can't count the number of times I have to step over peoples' legs and feet because they're completely sprawled out. And keeping your elbow out of my side would also be much appreciated. 

[arkzak]

And leave your invisible friend at home. If I'm at the window seat and the aisle seat is free, there is no need to squish me into the window and leave a person-sized gap on your other side. I know I'm a nice person, but I haven't invited you to find out!

[Mopsy428]

Don't expect your bus, train car, etc., etc. to be stone silent, especially if it's the middle of the afternoon. People will talk to their neighbor. As long as no one is being obnoxiously loud, you have no right to throw a hissy fit.

[JonGirl]

If the bus is crowded and people are standing, could everybody move down the back so people can enter at the front.
And motorists, if a tram has stopped to let someone off, please stop and wait until they cross the road and not continue driving.
The last time someone kept driving, they nearly collected the person getting off the tram. 

[Fleur-de-Lis]

Maybe I'm cynical, living in Chicago, but I can only imagine saying "may I?", and being told "no."  Then what?  I'll say excuse me if someone has their bag on a seat, but otherwise, I find that it's best and safest to keep to myself.

I can see your point; however, I also live in Chicago (hi neighbor!) and have never had anyone refuse me when I've asked to sit down.  If someone is sitting in the window seat, and the aisle seat is open, I will just sit down.  However, if they're sitting in the aisle seat while the window seat is vacant (which totally ticks me off, by the way) I'll smile and say "excuse me, can I sit down?"  Same thing if they have their bag in the seat next to them.

People get away with being rude only as long as you let them.  There's nothing wrong with reminding people, via a polite request, that the bus or the El is a shared space. 

Your displeasure is noted.

I reserve the privilege of not allowing myself to be penned against the window, especially by somebody creepy, crazy, or dirty. 

I am also mildly claustrophobic; I choose the aisle seat for that reason as well.

Emma

[One Goat to Rule Them All]

Maybe I'm cynical, living in Chicago, but I can only imagine saying "may I?", and being told "no."  Then what?  I'll say excuse me if someone has their bag on a seat, but otherwise, I find that it's best and safest to keep to myself.

I can see your point; however, I also live in Chicago (hi neighbor!) and have never had anyone refuse me when I've asked to sit down.  If someone is sitting in the window seat, and the aisle seat is open, I will just sit down.  However, if they're sitting in the aisle seat while the window seat is vacant (which totally ticks me off, by the way) I'll smile and say "excuse me, can I sit down?"  Same thing if they have their bag in the seat next to them.

People get away with being rude only as long as you let them.  There's nothing wrong with reminding people, via a polite request, that the bus or the El is a shared space. 

Your displeasure is noted.

I reserve the privilege of not allowing myself to be penned against the window, especially by somebody creepy, crazy, or dirty. 

I am also mildly claustrophobic; I choose the aisle seat for that reason as well.

Emma

That's all well and good as long as the bus isn't very full, but if it's starting to fill up etiquette dictates that you either move over and allow someone to sit, or stand and allow someone to take the window seat. You could also pick seats in the front or back where people can sit next to you without penning you in.

People who have dirty jobs or who are mentally ill have just as much right to a seat on the bus as anyone else, and you're not just blocking them from sitting, you're blocking everyone else. You can accommodate the phobias you've outlined above without taking up two seats for yourself.

[Fleur-de-Lis]

Maybe I'm cynical, living in Chicago, but I can only imagine saying "may I?", and being told "no."  Then what?  I'll say excuse me if someone has their bag on a seat, but otherwise, I find that it's best and safest to keep to myself.

I can see your point; however, I also live in Chicago (hi neighbor!) and have never had anyone refuse me when I've asked to sit down.  If someone is sitting in the window seat, and the aisle seat is open, I will just sit down.  However, if they're sitting in the aisle seat while the window seat is vacant (which totally ticks me off, by the way) I'll smile and say "excuse me, can I sit down?"  Same thing if they have their bag in the seat next to them.

People get away with being rude only as long as you let them.  There's nothing wrong with reminding people, via a polite request, that the bus or the El is a shared space. 

Your displeasure is noted.

I reserve the privilege of not allowing myself to be penned against the window, especially by somebody creepy, crazy, or dirty. 

I am also mildly claustrophobic; I choose the aisle seat for that reason as well.

Emma

That's all well and good as long as the bus isn't very full, but if it's starting to fill up etiquette dictates that you either move over and allow someone to sit, or stand and allow someone to take the window seat. You could also pick seats in the front or back where people can sit next to you without penning you in.

People who have dirty jobs or who are mentally ill have just as much right to a seat on the bus as anyone else, and you're not just blocking them from sitting, you're blocking everyone else. You can accommodate the phobias you've outlined above without taking up two seats for yourself.

I am not blocking them from sitting, and I never said that I would not stand if asked. 

I said etiquette did not dictate that I must accept the window seat simply because I got on the carriage early.

Emma

[Shores]

I said etiquette did not dictate that I must accept the window seat simply because I got on the carriage early.

Emma

No one said that it did. One person stated that it personally annoyed her. There are many things that, while perfectly fine in regards to etiquette, personally annoy me. It's not a big deal. No one said it was rude, as long as you're willing to allow anybody (without refusing those that you find "creepy, crazy or dirty" to sit in the window seat.

[Fleur-de-Lis]

If you have children with you, and are on a train full of cranky commuters, for the love of heaven, *please* endeavor to keep them reasonably quiet. 

When said parent/guardian chooses not to be mindful of the child, is there anything one *can* do, other than, circumstances permitting, move to a different car?  Doing so feels like having been a doormat, by default - somebody can't be bothered to parent their children, so I can leave. 

Emma

[Jolie_kitten]

11.  If a sick, injured, pregnant, or elderly person is on board, offer to yield your seat to them.  It is also a kindness to do this for a parent with a small child.

Not a suggestion but a question : if you really need a seat but don't look like you need it, how do you communicate that? (foot surgery for example)

I'd say- try not to make it TMI. Saying that you have had foot surgery is OK; on the other hand, if you need to sit down because you have "that time of the month" cramps, you can say something like "I feel very faint".

[Firecat]

If the seats are configured so that there are sets of seats facing each other, please keep your feet on the floor and don't put them on the seats opposite you. Yes, I know it's comfortable. But no one appreciates getting their clothing dirty by sitting on the seat your shoes have been on.

[Fleur-de-Lis]

If your child cannot sit still and quietly for 45 minutes, maybe you should rethink you transportation choices.  If public transportation is your only choice, *please* remain aware of the child.  Nobody else has learned to tune him out the way you can.