Restaurant etiquette

[Miriam]

Your managers wouldn't let you leave to be treated for burns?! I'd love to know who you worked for so I could avoid eating there.

Nope. They would if they thought the person was intoxicated, but the corporate is so effed up that if a customer attacks me somehow I was in the wrong and the "customer is always right" stupid crap.

It was a southern french bakery, bistro chain mostly in Texas.

[Twik]

Well, your burns would be the same whether the customer was drunk or cold sober when they scalded you. One would think they'd want to avoid having their staff lost because of injuries that had not been promptly attended to, but some places do fail at the "long-term thinking" level.

[dks64]

Just because something came out wrong from the kitchen, don't assume you're getting your whole meal for free.



Story on that: It was a super slow day at my last serving job. A couple came in and was really particular about their food. I was rolling silverware and listening. I have a really good memory and I listened to all of their requests. They were sharing a burger and when it came out, the man (note that this is a couple in their 40's or 50's) said "I ordered it with Cheddar instead of Swiss. We don't want to wait for another to be made, it took long enough before, we're just going to go." They got up and left without paying for their shake too. I overheard them order, he did NOT request a different cheese, they didn't wait long (we checked the time on the ticket, it was 8 minutes for a Medium Well burger, not bad at all), and they didn't even pay for what they did eat. I was shocked. The waitress even read back the order, so there was no reason for him to be mad. Some people you just can't please.

[Mopsy428]

Just because something came out wrong from the kitchen, don't assume you're getting your whole meal for free.



Story on that: It was a super slow day at my last serving job. A couple came in and was really particular about their food. I was rolling silverware and listening. I have a really good memory and I listened to all of their requests. They were sharing a burger and when it came out, the man (note that this is a couple in their 40's or 50's) said "I ordered it with Cheddar instead of Swiss. We don't want to wait for another to be made, it took long enough before, we're just going to go." They got up and left without paying for their shake too. I overheard them order, he did NOT request a different cheese, they didn't wait long (we checked the time on the ticket, it was 8 minutes for a Medium Well burger, not bad at all), and they didn't even pay for what they did eat. I was shocked. The waitress even read back the order, so there was no reason for him to be mad. Some people you just can't please.

Don't you just love it when people use the "I've been waiting so long!" line when they haven't been waiting long at all?  I was working a mother-daughter tea, and I saw this mother-daughter pair come in through the door, the hostess seat them, and then I walked over to them. The mother said, "We'd like some water. We've been waiting 10 minutes."  I privately rolled my eyes, and bit my tongue to keep from saying, "In what? Dog time? I just saw you walk through the door. You have not been waiting 10 minutes."

Back on track:

-Do not pester your server about marking down the price of your food/drink because another restaurant has a lower price or because you could buy XYZ food or ABC wine in the grocery store. This isn't a flea market. Wine is one of the most marked up items in a restaurant, so don't expect liquor store/grocery store prices.

[POF]

Just because something came out wrong from the kitchen, don't assume you're getting your whole meal for free.



Story on that: It was a super slow day at my last serving job. A couple came in and was really particular about their food. I was rolling silverware and listening. I have a really good memory and I listened to all of their requests. They were sharing a burger and when it came out, the man (note that this is a couple in their 40's or 50's) said "I ordered it with Cheddar instead of Swiss. We don't want to wait for another to be made, it took long enough before, we're just going to go." They got up and left without paying for their shake too. I overheard them order, he did NOT request a different cheese, they didn't wait long (we checked the time on the ticket, it was 8 minutes for a Medium Well burger, not bad at all), and they didn't even pay for what they did eat. I was shocked. The waitress even read back the order, so there was no reason for him to be mad. Some people you just can't please.

Don't you just love it when people use the "I've been waiting so long!" line when they haven't been waiting long at all?  I was working a mother-daughter tea, and I saw this mother-daughter pair come in through the door, the hostess seat them, and then I walked over to them. The mother said, "We'd like some water. We've been waiting 10 minutes."  I privately rolled my eyes, and bit my tongue to keep from saying, "In what? Dog time? I just saw you walk through the door. You have not been waiting 10 minutes."

Back on track:

-Do not pester your server about marking down the price of your food/drink because another restaurant has a lower price or because you could buy XYZ food or ABC wine in the grocery store. This isn't a flea market. Wine is one of the most marked up items in a restaurant, so don't expect liquor store/grocery store prices.

People do this 

[dks64]

Just because something came out wrong from the kitchen, don't assume you're getting your whole meal for free.



Story on that: It was a super slow day at my last serving job. A couple came in and was really particular about their food. I was rolling silverware and listening. I have a really good memory and I listened to all of their requests. They were sharing a burger and when it came out, the man (note that this is a couple in their 40's or 50's) said "I ordered it with Cheddar instead of Swiss. We don't want to wait for another to be made, it took long enough before, we're just going to go." They got up and left without paying for their shake too. I overheard them order, he did NOT request a different cheese, they didn't wait long (we checked the time on the ticket, it was 8 minutes for a Medium Well burger, not bad at all), and they didn't even pay for what they did eat. I was shocked. The waitress even read back the order, so there was no reason for him to be mad. Some people you just can't please.

Don't you just love it when people use the "I've been waiting so long!" line when they haven't been waiting long at all?  I was working a mother-daughter tea, and I saw this mother-daughter pair come in through the door, the hostess seat them, and then I walked over to them. The mother said, "We'd like some water. We've been waiting 10 minutes."  I privately rolled my eyes, and bit my tongue to keep from saying, "In what? Dog time? I just saw you walk through the door. You have not been waiting 10 minutes."

Back on track:

-Do not pester your server about marking down the price of your food/drink because another restaurant has a lower price or because you could buy XYZ food or ABC wine in the grocery store. This isn't a flea market. Wine is one of the most marked up items in a restaurant, so don't expect liquor store/grocery store prices.

People do this 

Oh yes, people do this.

[dks64]

Just because something came out wrong from the kitchen, don't assume you're getting your whole meal for free.



Story on that: It was a super slow day at my last serving job. A couple came in and was really particular about their food. I was rolling silverware and listening. I have a really good memory and I listened to all of their requests. They were sharing a burger and when it came out, the man (note that this is a couple in their 40's or 50's) said "I ordered it with Cheddar instead of Swiss. We don't want to wait for another to be made, it took long enough before, we're just going to go." They got up and left without paying for their shake too. I overheard them order, he did NOT request a different cheese, they didn't wait long (we checked the time on the ticket, it was 8 minutes for a Medium Well burger, not bad at all), and they didn't even pay for what they did eat. I was shocked. The waitress even read back the order, so there was no reason for him to be mad. Some people you just can't please.

Don't you just love it when people use the "I've been waiting so long!" line when they haven't been waiting long at all?  I was working a mother-daughter tea, and I saw this mother-daughter pair come in through the door, the hostess seat them, and then I walked over to them. The mother said, "We'd like some water. We've been waiting 10 minutes."  I privately rolled my eyes, and bit my tongue to keep from saying, "In what? Dog time? I just saw you walk through the door. You have not been waiting 10 minutes."

Back on track:

-Do not pester your server about marking down the price of your food/drink because another restaurant has a lower price or because you could buy XYZ food or ABC wine in the grocery store. This isn't a flea market. Wine is one of the most marked up items in a restaurant, so don't expect liquor store/grocery store prices.

I HATE that, people do it often. The problem is, people often think they're right. People don't have a sense of time when they're waiting. That's why our restaurant writes down times when they're put on a waiting list. That way if someone comes in and says "We've been waiting an hour!" we can reference the time on the wait sheet.

Word.

[dks64]

I know this thread is old, but I’m amazed that someone in the UK would tip 20% as standard. That would make for a very good salary for waitresses/waiters in restaurants I typically frequent.
Hourly wage: approx £6 (minimum).

For a normal weekday meal (which means we’d spend 1.5 hours tops in the restaurant) I’d pay around £30 for 2 people. This includes a main each (say £7-9 each), one or possibly two starters (£3-5 each), two or possibly three drinks (£3-5 each).
If we paid a 20% tip it’d be £6. The person serving us would have at least 2 other tables (normally more but I’m being very conservative) to serve. If they eat as little/much as us and spends as much time, this waiter would take home £14 per hour with an extremely conservative estimate – probably more.

If I estimate 3 tables, one of which with 4 people instead of 2, and eating 25% more the hourly take home would be £23).
Maybe I’m not getting it but that is more than many graduates get, and they would pay tax on it.

I guess I’m just happy I live in a country where people don’t have to depend on other people’s goodwill to pay their bills/that I don’t ever have to tip if I don’t want to and nobody can say anything about it.

Had to quote this, had a really, really bad night the other night. My Monday night shift was good, made money. On Tuesday, I worked 6 hours and made.... $20. It's not consistent. It doesn't matter if I make $100 one night, my next night might be so bad that it wasn't worth the gas money to drive to work. Also, shifts are extremely hard to get right now, so I'm only getting 3 shifts a week. Serving isn't stable. Most graduates at least have a stable income and hours.

[a]

I know this thread is old, but I’m amazed that someone in the UK would tip 20% as standard. That would make for a very good salary for waitresses/waiters in restaurants I typically frequent.
Hourly wage: approx £6 (minimum).

For a normal weekday meal (which means we’d spend 1.5 hours tops in the restaurant) I’d pay around £30 for 2 people. This includes a main each (say £7-9 each), one or possibly two starters (£3-5 each), two or possibly three drinks (£3-5 each).
If we paid a 20% tip it’d be £6. The person serving us would have at least 2 other tables (normally more but I’m being very conservative) to serve. If they eat as little/much as us and spends as much time, this waiter would take home £14 per hour with an extremely conservative estimate – probably more.

If I estimate 3 tables, one of which with 4 people instead of 2, and eating 25% more the hourly take home would be £23).
Maybe I’m not getting it but that is more than many graduates get, and they would pay tax on it.

I guess I’m just happy I live in a country where people don’t have to depend on other people’s goodwill to pay their bills/that I don’t ever have to tip if I don’t want to and nobody can say anything about it.

Had to quote this, had a really, really bad night the other night. My Monday night shift was good, made money. On Tuesday, I worked 6 hours and made.... $20. It's not consistent. It doesn't matter if I make $100 one night, my next night might be so bad that it wasn't worth the gas money to drive to work. Also, shifts are extremely hard to get right now, so I'm only getting 3 shifts a week. Serving isn't stable. Most graduates at least have a stable income and hours.

Hi dks,
I know the situation is different in the US and that you have to really on tips, so my example only refers to the UK. I have never met anyone in the UK who tips 20% regularly. In the UK you get a minimum wage (which is not that much lower than a graduate might earn for a starter admin job. The current minimum wage for UK is £6.08 (if aged 21+); there are many graduates earning £10 or just over with no chance of any tips (and too often high expectations on putting in free overtime hours!)

[AlwaysQuizzical]

I was whistled, snapped, and coughed at like a simple dog. I was probably rude but I never responded to any of these gestures and when yelled at later, I just let them know that I am a person and they are welcome to address me as such. Man the many times I could have been fired for sticking up for myself.

This reminds me of a disagreement I had with my Mom. She is against getting the attention of waitstaff, I'm all for it if you're polite.

We were eating at a restaurant right before going to the theater (which we told the server when we sat down), the check was slow in getting to us and my Mom was afraid that we wouldn't make it to the play. I told her to wave at the waitress and ask for the check. She told me that it would be rude to interrupt her and that we should just wait. I disagreed and the next time I saw the waitress I put up my hand with two fingers up (like hailing a cab), the waitress made eye contact and nodded then walked away. The way we were seated meant my Mom didn't see me wave. A few minutes later the waitress came with the check and my Mom said, "See, I told you she'd come by soon" then a few seconds later suspiciously asked, "You waved didn't you?"

When I'm in a restaurant and I need something I will put up my hand to get their attention, I never yell though I will say excuse me if they're walking past and I need something. I get where my mom was coming from because the waitress was helping others, but we needed to leave, and I don't think I interrupted her work. Now I'm worried I have the wrong idea.

[RainhaDoTexugo]

I don't see anything wrong with politely flagging down your waitress.  Snapping fingers or whistling or saying "Hey, you!" aren't the way to do it, but a friendly wave should be fine.

[dks64]

I know this thread is old, but I’m amazed that someone in the UK would tip 20% as standard. That would make for a very good salary for waitresses/waiters in restaurants I typically frequent.
Hourly wage: approx £6 (minimum).

For a normal weekday meal (which means we’d spend 1.5 hours tops in the restaurant) I’d pay around £30 for 2 people. This includes a main each (say £7-9 each), one or possibly two starters (£3-5 each), two or possibly three drinks (£3-5 each).
If we paid a 20% tip it’d be £6. The person serving us would have at least 2 other tables (normally more but I’m being very conservative) to serve. If they eat as little/much as us and spends as much time, this waiter would take home £14 per hour with an extremely conservative estimate – probably more.

If I estimate 3 tables, one of which with 4 people instead of 2, and eating 25% more the hourly take home would be £23).
Maybe I’m not getting it but that is more than many graduates get, and they would pay tax on it.

I guess I’m just happy I live in a country where people don’t have to depend on other people’s goodwill to pay their bills/that I don’t ever have to tip if I don’t want to and nobody can say anything about it.

Had to quote this, had a really, really bad night the other night. My Monday night shift was good, made money. On Tuesday, I worked 6 hours and made.... $20. It's not consistent. It doesn't matter if I make $100 one night, my next night might be so bad that it wasn't worth the gas money to drive to work. Also, shifts are extremely hard to get right now, so I'm only getting 3 shifts a week. Serving isn't stable. Most graduates at least have a stable income and hours.

Hi dks,
I know the situation is different in the US and that you have to really on tips, so my example only refers to the UK. I have never met anyone in the UK who tips 20% regularly. In the UK you get a minimum wage (which is not that much lower than a graduate might earn for a starter admin job. The current minimum wage for UK is £6.08 (if aged 21+); there are many graduates earning £10 or just over with no chance of any tips (and too often high expectations on putting in free overtime hours!)

I wasn't referring to the percentage, just the assumption that the server makes great money and has a consistent flow of customers. I've read others online "break it down" mathematically (they'll say a server can have 4 tables that each seat 4, that's 16 people at a time, average meal percentage, 15% off that, etc), but I was just saying that it doesn't work like that. Sorry, I wasn't meaning to call you out, just point out that the idea isn't completely right.

[dks64]

I was whistled, snapped, and coughed at like a simple dog. I was probably rude but I never responded to any of these gestures and when yelled at later, I just let them know that I am a person and they are welcome to address me as such. Man the many times I could have been fired for sticking up for myself.

This reminds me of a disagreement I had with my Mom. She is against getting the attention of waitstaff, I'm all for it if you're polite.

We were eating at a restaurant right before going to the theater (which we told the server when we sat down), the check was slow in getting to us and my Mom was afraid that we wouldn't make it to the play. I told her to wave at the waitress and ask for the check. She told me that it would be rude to interrupt her and that we should just wait. I disagreed and the next time I saw the waitress I put up my hand with two fingers up (like hailing a cab), the waitress made eye contact and nodded then walked away. The way we were seated meant my Mom didn't see me wave. A few minutes later the waitress came with the check and my Mom said, "See, I told you she'd come by soon" then a few seconds later suspiciously asked, "You waved didn't you?"

When I'm in a restaurant and I need something I will put up my hand to get their attention, I never yell though I will say excuse me if they're walking past and I need something. I get where my mom was coming from because the waitress was helping others, but we needed to leave, and I don't think I interrupted her work. Now I'm worried I have the wrong idea.

It's absolutely fine to get a servers attention, it's how one does it that can be a problem. I've had people yell at me while talking to another table. What you did was absolutely fine and I hope my customers do that when they need my attention. Sometimes servers just don't want you to feel like they're smothering you, so they don't keep stopping by every few minutes. You can absolutely flag them down that way.

[a]

I know this thread is old, but I’m amazed that someone in the UK would tip 20% as standard. That would make for a very good salary for waitresses/waiters in restaurants I typically frequent.
Hourly wage: approx £6 (minimum).

For a normal weekday meal (which means we’d spend 1.5 hours tops in the restaurant) I’d pay around £30 for 2 people. This includes a main each (say £7-9 each), one or possibly two starters (£3-5 each), two or possibly three drinks (£3-5 each).
If we paid a 20% tip it’d be £6. The person serving us would have at least 2 other tables (normally more but I’m being very conservative) to serve. If they eat as little/much as us and spends as much time, this waiter would take home £14 per hour with an extremely conservative estimate – probably more.

If I estimate 3 tables, one of which with 4 people instead of 2, and eating 25% more the hourly take home would be £23).
Maybe I’m not getting it but that is more than many graduates get, and they would pay tax on it.

I guess I’m just happy I live in a country where people don’t have to depend on other people’s goodwill to pay their bills/that I don’t ever have to tip if I don’t want to and nobody can say anything about it.

Had to quote this, had a really, really bad night the other night. My Monday night shift was good, made money. On Tuesday, I worked 6 hours and made.... $20. It's not consistent. It doesn't matter if I make $100 one night, my next night might be so bad that it wasn't worth the gas money to drive to work. Also, shifts are extremely hard to get right now, so I'm only getting 3 shifts a week. Serving isn't stable. Most graduates at least have a stable income and hours.

Hi dks,
I know the situation is different in the US and that you have to really on tips, so my example only refers to the UK. I have never met anyone in the UK who tips 20% regularly. In the UK you get a minimum wage (which is not that much lower than a graduate might earn for a starter admin job. The current minimum wage for UK is £6.08 (if aged 21+); there are many graduates earning £10 or just over with no chance of any tips (and too often high expectations on putting in free overtime hours!)

I wasn't referring to the percentage, just the assumption that the server makes great money and has a consistent flow of customers. I've read others online "break it down" mathematically (they'll say a server can have 4 tables that each seat 4, that's 16 people at a time, average meal percentage, 15% off that, etc), but I was just saying that it doesn't work like that. Sorry, I wasn't meaning to call you out, just point out that the idea isn't completely right.

Ah I see what you mean, no of course one cannot assume a constant flow of customers! Yet another reason why it is so unfair to make people work for completely unreliable 'pay checks'.

[Raintree]

My top restaurant peeves from a diner's perspective

1) Clearing plates and offering dessert when one diner hasn't finished their main course (that's usually me). That is my absolute number one peeve.

2) "Did you need change?" Yes, just bring it to me and I will then decide on an appropriate tip (I will tell them if I don't want change).

3) Putting MY dessert that I ordered in the middle of the table with extra forks. essentially offering on my behalf to share. Especially when everyone else specifically declined a dessert.

4) Not being given a glass for my beer, and instead expecting me to drink out of the bottle (yes I do ask for a glass, but it should have been brought automatically; this is a restaurant, not a barn.

Lesser peeves (minor really, but just things I don't particularly like):

5) Being presented with an extensive drinks menu and being approached with "Can I get you a drink?" the SECOND I sit down, before I've had a chance to have a look.

6)That whole squatting down to get to eye level when taking orders. I don't know, seems awfully familiar

From my limited time working at a restaurant, busgirl's perspective:

1) People who come in for a full meal 10 minutes before closing

2) Men who make crude comments to the staff, like a "compliment" on how the uniform fits, etc.

3)Snapping fingers, whistling, etc., to get staff's attention

4) When I attempted to remove appetizer plates trying to make way for the entrees that were arriving (ie if it appeared the person had finished but there was still food on the plate and I always asked first, "May I take your plate?") they'd grab onto it like a dog holding onto a bone and say, "Noooo!!!"

Oh I forgot one thing: drives me nuts when servers don't know that cutlery together in the 4:00 position means "finished" and cutlery apart at 4:00 and 8:00 means "not finished." I can forgive customers for not knowing this but if you work in the food service industry it's something you should know about.