Restaurant etiquette

[dks64]

2 more to add:

When paying your tab, don't expect your server to make change/swipe your card at the snap of your fingers. I was very busy yesterday and someone gave me 2-$20's and I had to make change from the bar. I picked up the check, walked immediately over to the bar, asked for change, went back to the computer (right by her booth) to close out the check to put it in the check presenter, and I heard her say in a rude voice "Can I get my change." Not even 20 seconds had passed. I followed with "Yes, I'm waiting for change from the bar." Even for cards, sometimes there's a wait for the computer. Or sometimes we have to get out condiments for a table that just got their food. Or whatever. You'd be surprised at some impatient people get.

If you're in a hurry, a busy restaurant is not the place you want to go for lunch/dinner. If you are going to dine in when you're kinda in a rush, know what you want to order when you sit down. And don't order food that takes a long time to cook (rack of ribs, well done burger or steak, stuff like that) I've had so many people take 20 minutes to order, then right before their food came said "Hey, I'm in a hurry, where's my food?" Or have a movie to get to, but don't tell the server until 1-2 minutes before they have to get out. If you're on a time constraint, let your server know at the beginning.

[FoxPaws]

Also for diners-in-a-hurry:

- Don't make a 1001 substitutions or special requests. Every deviation from the menu takes extra time in the kitchen.
- Ask for your preferred condiments when you place your order. Yep, even ketchup for the fries. Anything that saves the server a trip saves you time as well.

[Wonderflonium]

I never order burgers or steak if I'm in a hurry, because I like them well done.

[SiotehCat]

When dining out, one of my friends gets super snippy if her plate isnt cleared immediately after she is done eating. I have seen her pick up the finished plates and take them over to the waiter herself. It gets embarrassing.

That would be a breach of etiquette in a finer restaurant.  A waiter should never remove plates until everyone is done eating.

Do you really think I'm going to be doing any fine dining with her? No way!

When she did this the first time, we were at IHOP and I just wanted the booth to suck me in. It was awful. I also know that he received a very small tip from her.

I would have had no problem calling this SS out. Then followed with "Since you're a cheap a**, I'm going to tip extra for you."

That is almost exactly what I did! I didn't use that exact wording and I didn't tell her that I was going to tip extra, but I did tip extra. I am usually a very good tipper because I eat out/order take out from the same restaurants a lot.

I don't think that server could have done anything right in her eyes that night.

[Erich L-ster]

I don't really know where to put this but:
(and bear in mind I'm not referring to 5star or black tie dining situations)

Is it bad manners to dip bread into (your own bowl) stew or soup? Is it bad to dip bread into sauce on your plate? Is it bad to use bread to help push food onto your fork?

[violinp]

I don't really know where to put this but:
(and bear in mind I'm not referring to 5star or black tie dining situations)

Is it bad manners to dip bread into (your own bowl) stew or soup? Is it bad to dip bread into sauce on your plate? Is it bad to use bread to help push food onto your fork?

Not that I know of. My mom mops up her olive oil with garlic bread whenever we go to out favorite Italian restaurant.

[Dindrane]

I don't really know where to put this but:
(and bear in mind I'm not referring to 5star or black tie dining situations)

Is it bad manners to dip bread into (your own bowl) stew or soup? Is it bad to dip bread into sauce on your plate? Is it bad to use bread to help push food onto your fork?

I would guess that, officially, it probably isn't good manners.  So if you get invited to any state dinners, I'd avoid doing it.

In a casual setting, I think it depends more upon your dining companions.  If they don't mind it, then I don't think it's bad.  I do a lot of things when I eat in casual situations that are not strictly good manners, but since they do not make me appear disgusting to my companions, nobody cares.

[25wishes]

not sure if this has been mentioned.  I don't go out to eat a lot but I have friends (an older couple) who do. They are always telling me about how their waitresses are doing what I call "dry begging" - telling them sad stories about their life and hard times (usually involving kids). This couple is a soft touch and I think the servers can tell. The gentleman said he was thinking of giving the waitress an extra $50 to help her out. I finally mentioned to him, "If you owned a restaurant and you found out the servers were telling hard-luck stories to the patrons, would you think that was professional behavior?" He admitted it was not.

[dks64]

not sure if this has been mentioned.  I don't go out to eat a lot but I have friends (an older couple) who do. They are always telling me about how their waitresses are doing what I call "dry begging" - telling them sad stories about their life and hard times (usually involving kids). This couple is a soft touch and I think the servers can tell. The gentleman said he was thinking of giving the waitress an extra $50 to help her out. I finally mentioned to him, "If you owned a restaurant and you found out the servers were telling hard-luck stories to the patrons, would you think that was professional behavior?" He admitted it was not.

Yeah, that's not acceptable. If someone asks about your personal life though, that's different. I've had many customers ask me about my future plans and personal life. When I tell them I'm saving up to go back to school, I'm honestly not telling them to get more tips. I like building relationships with my customers. I've gotten some very useful information from them too.

[dks64]

I may have said this one already, but it's been happening so much lately at my work that I had to post it, just in case.


When the expo's/servers are bringing food to your table, know what you order and pay attention when they tell you the item in their hand. The other day, I was bringing Mac and Cheese to a table and had a feeling where the entree went (seat numbers, although people move around so they're not full proof). The guy said it wasn't his, I went around the whole table, no one claimed it. I went back to the guy and said "You don't have a Mac and Cheese?" "No." I took it to the kitchen and told them to hold on to it. I came back out and everyone else had their food. I asked him what he had... "The Mac and Cheese" DUDE, I JUST ASKED YOU TWICE!! It might not seem like a big deal, but sometimes going back and forth can cause the food to get cold. Having to remake and comp a $17 meal is not ideal and makes the server look bad. And be careful not to claim food that isn't yours. It happens way more often than you'd think. One guy completely flipped out on a server because HE claimed the wrong soup. He screamed at her "It's all your fault" over an over. He was rude and crazy, but he was 100% at fault for claiming the wrong soup.

[Mopsy428]

Also, customer, please move your belongings from your place setting.

[dks64]

Also, customer, please move your belongings from your place setting.

YES YES YES! It makes me so nervous when people have their iPhones on the table when I'm reaching full cups and hot food over to them. I don't know why people think it's a good idea to leave phones and other expensive items on the table in the first place. I wish people would at least move them to the other side of the table (or booth). People usually set them down on the end near me, so I'm forced to hand things over it or where I'm about to set their plate down. A restaurant is a place to eat, not your office desk.

[snowdragon]

I don't care if your name is "Julia Childs" you don't go into the kitchen with out an invite. No it doesn't matter who you are or what your/your kid's issue is, you don't belong there.

Do not let your kid play under other people's table...it's unsafe and annoying

The waitstaff is not your personal staff, don't treat them as such.

For the staff:

I know it's your eleventy-millionth time explaining today's specials, don't get upset with me if  I don't know what egg sauce would go on salmon if it's my first time there.

don't sit down with me - especially if I am on the end of the bench and you have to "shove it" if you do I will dock your tip accordingly.

[dks64]

Never ever ever ever take up a booth for 4 hours during a busy night and not tip $20+.


Yesterday I had a couple who came in, ordered water, sat for an hour, ordered $4 guac and chips, watched the entire Laker game, and tipped me $1. 4 hours in one (8 top) booth I could have made great money on. I want to nominate the couple for a**holes of the year.

[NyaChan]

Also, customer, please move your belongings from your place setting.

YES YES YES! It makes me so nervous when people have their iPhones on the table when I'm reaching full cups and hot food over to them. I don't know why people think it's a good idea to leave phones and other expensive items on the table in the first place. I wish people would at least move them to the other side of the table (or booth). People usually set them down on the end near me, so I'm forced to hand things over it or where I'm about to set their plate down. A restaurant is a place to eat, not your office desk.

Whoops    Sorry, I never thought about it that way.  Duly noted!